Mysterious Love: A New Adult Billionaire Romance (88 page)

Chapter 3 - Where It Went Wrong

Joanna and Lucian were expecting me at the front desk. After they checked my ID and scanned my documents, I received a set of personalized business cards and a company phone for my work duties. They invited me to meet the team for coffee. Everyone met in the conference room around the long table just like I saw the day before. Most of the team were men, they were the sales agents and managers, the rest were a few dispatchers, some accountants, the IT guy and the cleaning women. They were analyzing me without asking too many questions while still maintaining a friendly demeanor. I embarrassed myself when I tried to prepare the coffee but didn't turn on the coffee machine.

“Here, let me help you,” said Joanna. “You push the button here, put the mug under and add milk or sugar. You can use the mugs for guests right now, but you will need to bring a personalized one to make you feel at home. Okay?”

“Thank you so much!” I laughed, “I think I'm a little nervous today or just overly excited.”

“You don't have to apologize,” said Lucian as he squeezed my left shoulder with his big hand. His touch startled me and electrocuted my whole spine, leaving me breathless. There was something about this man that scared me and made me respect him all the same. There was nothing sexual between us, at least not on my behalf, but nothing he would say could calm me down.

“Today, Marius will start your training,” Lucian gestured toward the gentleman across the table from me. “You will get to know more about our company, about what we do, how we work and everything. You’ll just be doing orientation today. After that, we’ll have you stay with the agents a few days and observe. Maybe you will learn something. Your office is on the first floor, the second room on the left.

“Marius,” Lucian said, looking at the man across the table, “Can you show her around first, please?”

He looked back at me, tilted his head down and looked up from his brow like he did the day before. “I'm in the office next door so if you have any questions, please feel free to come in.”

Marius got up and took me for a tour of the building before entering my office where they arranged my desk. For the first time in my career, I didn't know the simplest things. What posture should I have, when should I talk, or what should I ask and when? Before entering my office door, I suddenly felt the need to get out.

“Can I have a cigarette?” I asked Marius.

“Oh, okay,” he shrugged, “That's a good start, I’ll join you.”

As we smoked outside, he told me to watch out for any gossip and stay away from simple minds. I learned that Lucian was a very warm-hearted boss, that he loved his employees like they were his children, he would always pay you on time, everyone’s salary is confidential, avoid conflicts and various other common sense things. The conversation defused any apprehension I had. Marius was a good trainer, very patient and deliberate in his tips and suggestions. He did anything he could to encourage me and make me feel welcomed.

“The boys are anxious to meet you! It’s about time we had a girl in our office. Maybe we will become tidier and more...” he paused, “gentleman-like. Ha ha.”

I laughed and began to find the courage to go back into the office. There were five guys in the office and their desks were placed around the walls so that the center of the room would remain empty. They all had different styles and personalities, but somehow they completed each other. There was one guy who caught me off guard and briefly startled me by his presence. He was the silhouette! The man was extremely handsome, had a great smile, a beautiful face that only completed with his big, green eyes. He had a presence about him that he could have any woman he desired and play them as he wished.

When he introduced himself, he stared deeply into my eyes and smiled as my knees became slightly weak. Marius was still presenting my details about the company as I exchanged forbidden gazes with this mysterious man. Everything about him fascinated me - his athletic body, his confidence, the attitude of a winner combined with a great dose of sex-appeal, everything. The way he spoke on the phone with his clients, the sound of his voice and the way he played with his pen while staring at me playfully made me almost lose control. I could not concentrate on anything. All I could think about was him dominating me with big kisses and making wild sex with me in the bathroom. And I hardly knew his name!

All day we exchanged looks, smiles and had small conversations. At 4:00 p.m., I decided it was time for me to clear my head and grab a smoke.

“You know,” I spoke to Marius, “I really need a cigarette.”

“Sorry, Raven. I don't smoke that much. You should ask Theodore to join you,” he shrugged, “He's an addict.”

“Okay then, who's Theodore?” I asked laughing.

“Him!” and he pointed out my mysterious silhouette.

“Well, I don't smoke that much either,” he replied with confusion. But then he looked at me with a half-cocked grin then burst to his feet and signaled, “Sure, let's go.”

I followed Theodore out a side entrance to the front garden.

“What's up with them?” I motioned to the window where a few people gathered, “Am I smoking too much?”

“No, no it's fine. Believe me. It's just me.” He waved it off.

“What do you mean?”

“They are probably not used to see me smiling this much,” he took a long drag from his cigarette, “and they don't usually see me smoking with another girl.”

“Why is that?” I asked, cocking my head to the side.

“Lucian doesn't want any of us to be close friends,” he paused, “Well, at least get involved with each other. Last week he found out that two of our coworkers were dating for about a year now and gave them an ultimatum. One of them had to leave.

“You know, Joanna?” he nodded to me, “She was one of them.”

Theodore paused as he took one last long drag before flicking the cigarette butt into the garden. “She offered to leave, but Lucian’s wife convinced him that the relationship was a singular case and that it won't affect our business too much. Still, he’s watching them carefully.”

I was profoundly surprised. Suddenly, I had more admiration for Joanna than I did before. “I would do the same for us,” I said to myself and regretted it immediately. Was I willing to give up this job for a guy that I barely even know? That’s stupid. I must be going nuts. Instinctively, I imagined myself in her shoes. What would I say to Lucian? And how did this small, beautiful girl manage to have so much character and strength to face Lucian in such a tense situation? How did he find out anyway? Is the whole family image presented in this company so indoctrinated that co-workers tell on each other? Or, the one that disclosed this secret had something to win? Lucian had already given me a lot of money just for the probation part. Maybe he was financially stimulating the ones that acted like spies.

“Plus, you and me are the only single ones around here,” he glanced at my hand, “I don't see a ring on your finger.”

“So what?” I laughingly stated, “Being single means hunting down other single co-workers? Plus, you are quite young. How can you be married at 26 or 27?”

He laughed so hard, I was ashamed of myself. I looked at him more carefully but didn't see anything mean in his laugh or behavior. He seemed pleasantly surprised. Theodore shook his head and looked for a spot in the garden with more sunlight.

“See all these gray hairs? I am older than you think. You could be my little sister. I am 37 years old. I’ve been married already. Worst choice of my life. Been divorced for five years now and that’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“You look much younger. You do—”

“Is that going to change anything?” he looked at me with that slight smirk I recognized from the day before.

“Is there anything starting that needs to change?” I bit my bottom lip as soon as I said that, realizing that I may have been a bit too forward.

His whole face crumpled. It didn't have that sparkling openness any longer. That lovely smile and those deep green eyes turned into a tortured expression while his irises turned gray.

No answer. Just a grin and an immediate absence. His eyes rolled and he deeply sighed. The rest of the day, I played the role of a shy girl just for him to join me outside. What was happening to me? Like a magnet, his body was dragging me next to him. I felt like a child when he was around. It was like being a teenager again. I didn't know what was happening to me and I was becoming increasingly frustrated and mad at myself.

Was he playing with me? Didn't he see that for a moment, for an awful moment, that in this masquerade, I was a puppet on a string? And I was not even holding back. He made me want to be the center of his attention, the reason for his happiness. I just wanted to make him smile and touch his hand as I asked for unnecessary things like an agenda, a pen, a cigarette, any stupid little thing that could make me feel his hands for a fraction of a second. What was wrong with me? I thought I was stronger than that. It was time to give up and get back to my priorities. I could never concentrate on my job if I stay in this office. As long as he was around, nothing else mattered. The worst part is that I never felt that I would depend sentimentally on another human being. I used to be naturally happy, strong, and confident, even fulfilled with all my flaws. Now, the sensation of depending on somebody’s joy was beginning to convince me that I was getting weaker.

At the end of the day, I was firmly convinced that I had to quit my job. This story had no happy ending. I was falling in love and I would surely be hurt like never before. I’m not sure that Theodore realized what he was messing with. This game was dangerous for us both. I could lose my mind, he could lose his job. Unmercifully, at the last cigarette we smoked that day he told me something out of the blue.

“You know I saw you at the interview and before you came in,” he paused to fidget at his cigarette, “There is something special about you. So cute and innocent. You behave like a polite young lady from the Victorian age. I would love to know more about you. Or just talk sometimes. Can I have your phone number?”

I obliged and wondered if this was a mistake. Before ending the work day I knocked at Lucian's door. I wanted to stop in to tell him my appreciation for the opportunity and let him know how my first day went.

“What's the matter, Raven?” Lucian motioned for me to come into his office. “Any problems?”

“No, sir, I mean, Lucian! Sorry.”

“See? We already have a problem,” he passed his glance from under his brow again. “You are too polite. Do call me Lucian! It bothers me when my people try to distance themselves from me. Please, if you have a problem with money or anything, tell me.”

“No, it's fine,” I struggled to find the right words, “Actually I'm here to tell you that I decided to stay, ha ha.”

He voiced his appreciation and I darted out of his office to grab my belongings to head to the subway.

**********

I arrived home tormented. My new obsession was watching the phone screen like a hawk, hungry for any communication from Theodore. Should I text him first? What should I ask him? Maybe it all would fade away. It was a strange combination: I wanted to sleep with him and feel his touch as much as I wanted for him to like me. This mix of passion and emotional struggle left me awake all night long. He didn't text me that day and I was a mess because of it. Cigarette after cigarette, I waited for the moment to go back to work. For the first time, in my whole life, I relived all our discussions in my head, had lucid dreams about his lovely green eyes, imagined him kissing me, touching me and throwing me onto the bed.

Then I realized in a panic that it was Friday! It was the last day I would spend near him, a complete lonely weekend was ahead of me and I had visualized myself drinking wine till I passed out on the kitchen floor missing him. When I didn't check my phone, I was closing my eyes, concentrating on his distinguished jawline and five o’clock shadow. I even checked his name on Google to find something about him. This quiet desperation was consuming me. After I finally had enough courage, I texted him “Hey! See you at work today?”

He replied shortly, “Aren't you asleep? You know, I was thinking about you.”

It seemed like an eternity as my heart fluttered, waiting for the next message to follow. I didn’t want to be too presumptuous as I was before, so I just waited to see what he’d text next.

“You are gorgeous!” What?! Theodore could play with my head and I, as a virgin towards these kinds of emotions, would play the game. Did I want to be a victim? Was love a game in which I voluntarily offered to get hurt just so I could be around someone? And, yet, I willingly opted to be a part of this game, because what other options did I have. At least, I fooled myself into believing that there was no other choice.

Chapter 4 - Roller Coaster

We continued to exchange texts all day - before, during and after work. This new day was an exact copy of the previous one, except for the stream of clicks on my phone screen. While I shadowed Marius throughout his work day, Theodore’s face haunted every minute of my thoughts. Sometimes he would text me something nice and then just look at me with that sly grin just to see my reaction.

I imagined that gossip had already started everywhere in the office.

Hey! Did you notice how happy Theodore is now that Raven is here?

What's up with that?

I wonder if Lucian knows they are seeing each other behind his back.

I wasn’t too far off since many of these rumors got to Lucian eventually. He called me to his office just for him to let me know that I had nothing to worry about. In his unique style, he explained that gossip will come and go. He further added that if I really needed to know his expectations, then I should be aware that he doesn’t approve of dating with co-workers.

“Besides, a girl like you can’t like someone as dull and ordinary as Theodore.” he winked at me and added a nod.

“Good to know,” I just smiled awkwardly. I thought to myself that Theodore was far and away from an ordinary guy. He was like a man I never knew and that made me want to discover everything about him.

Gradually, our texts became more familiar. He told me some things about himself. He was theoretically a chef and that he worked since he was a teenager. Theodore hated Paris but had to go to school there. Apparently he was living in a rented apartment with a good friend and other things like that. We joked around, exchanged pictures, asked each other to go outside for a smoke at the same time, tried to do as many things together as we could in that limited time and place.

All until he texted me a kiss sign. Sounds stupid, I know it was virtually, but it made me wonder that if he tried, would I let him kiss me? I could not deny that I wanted it. But I began to wonder if I was already playing with fire.

When I was a teenager, I thought that I could be close to someone without getting emotionally evolved. Having best friends of the opposite sex usually ends up in a typical situation that we call friend zone. This is where one falls for the other, but the respective crush can only be seen by the other as a good friend. The other gets afraid that confessing true feelings is equal to losing the company of the friend so she prefers to keep this struggle a secret. I did not want to end up like this. Theodore could never be my friend. He could also never be my lover, so I was trapped. The worst part is that I didn't know his feelings towards me and I was afraid to be vulnerable by asking.

That night he surprised me with a call. He invited me out the following day and confessed that he was interested in me. I played dumb and never let on to what I was truly feeling.

“Do you fall in love with all of your female co-workers?” I asked him.

“Baby,” he breathed deeply, “I never had a relation with any of my colleagues. There is just something about you that makes me curious.” he responded.

“Baby?” Now this was a first. “None of my exes called me that or darling, sugar or other things like that. I was simply Raven.”

“If you would let me in, you would see that you are the most beautiful thing that has happened to me in a very long time.”

I could not believe it. He could have any girl. Why me? I knew I was a smart girl, but I didn’t think I was gorgeous or anyone special. Theodore changed my life in that second. It was wrong to feel this way about something as simple as a pet name. When I thought about it, he was much older than me. What if it works out but in the next years he gets burned out and tired? Would we still be a couple? What if I want to enjoy my youth? Or what if he gets back with his wife? They spent several years together so he could very well still be attached to her.

“Let you in what?” I further probed, “You know, I'm not sure about anything. I can hardly concentrate at work because of you.”

It was true, I didn’t absorb one bit of what Marius was teaching me about the company and my job in it. I had checked out so often that Marius could have repeated the same thing over and over and I wouldn’t have known any different.

“Me too. But there are risks that you just have to take.” My heart skipped a beat as I thought about the implication.

What if he’s right?
I thought. There is always a job out there. If he is the one I was looking for this entire time and I didn't do anything about it then I could lose him forever. Is my job worth risking? What if he is just testing me and tells Lucian everything afterwards? Or what if I change my mind, we break up and he tells everything about us as revenge? No, I shook my head, that’s impossible. I can easily find another job, but he is older. Would he have a less of a chance of getting another job? In the same time, Lucian will keep him instead of me, in the blink of an eye.

“How do you know it’s risky? Couldn’t we lose our jobs?” I asked, knowing full well the consequences.

“I know, yeah,” he hesitated, “So, please never call on this number. Lucian checks the bills frequently.”

“So—? You can give me your personal phone number?”

“That is the problem, I don't have one yet. I've just moved here eight months ago after my divorce. I’ll tell you more about it some other time.”

“Okay then,” I was a bit put off, “By the way, do you mind that I'm younger? I don't have that much experience as you do with sentimental stuff. You are ahead of me. Theodore, you have already felt the touch of real love, you were married, had long relationships, had fun, I have had none. Will you have patience with me? Will you understand that I am not yet a real woman?”

“You ARE a real woman. That’s the greatest thing about you,” he laughed, “I will be yours as much as you want me to be. I have to hit the sack. You sleep well.”

My breath increased and my mind raced. Theodore liked me back! It felt fantastic! Still, I was afraid that things were rushing without any control. What if tomorrow he shows up with Lucian and I get fired? At least, I tried. I had the money to survive another month or two if I was going to be unemployed again so the worst case scenario would be for me to lose all hope in love again.

Theodore was my new undiscovered world, full of wonders and new emotions. He gave me the inner flame that lighted mysterious parts of me that I never even knew existed. It had to be something beautiful between us.

Please, just let it be this time! I need him to be the one for me.
I thought to myself. Sick and tired of this endless search, he appeared out of nowhere and showed me, without any effort, that I could still dream. Isn't knowledge and hope the biggest weapons of the human mind?

**********