Read Mysterious Love: A New Adult Billionaire Romance Online
Authors: Lucy Landish
Chapter 1 - Something About Me
As far as I can remember, my childhood dreams about men and relationships were ruined. I had the typical dream of every young girl that Prince Charming would eventually come along and save me. Then, a perfectly fulfilling happy ending would be just around the corner, waiting for me with all of its wonders. Did any of this ever happen? Or, did Cinderella have the intention of divorce afterwards just to take half of his wealth and buy fifty new pairs of shoes and a half gallon of ice cream? Did she just swallow her real feelings while fairy tale writers ignored the awful truth about relationships? Is every six year old girl wrong? Or, do I just buy into any kind of hope, false or not?
From my first relationships as a child to the ones I had as a grown up, secretly I hoped that the search was over and that I could get somebody to love and protect me unconditionally. And as I fell in love for the first time, I put all of my emotions and trust into that one person. But the first one is not necessarily the last one now, is it?
It’s easy to get one moment of joy and swear it is true love. Keeping that love is the real problem. If you are quite unlucky, like I am, you can reach your adult years without even knowing where your love life is going. The funny part is that I planned most of my life like everyone else does - go to college, get the job I wanted, work my butt off, plan the occasional trip, and live life happy and fulfilled. But when does love come along and when do I know it’s actually real?
My love life has never had anything unordinary. It wasn't until my twenty-fifth birthday when I had my first intimate experience. I didn't fawn over him, nor had I known him prior to this day. It was a five hour relationship. He was drunk, I was wasted and the room upstairs was empty. That was the spectacular start of my love life.
Okay then, blame the alcohol. Blame free will! Blame everything except love. At that age, dancing with that guy, drinking with him and getting the courage to explore this new world of future disappointments represented everything. I was curious about my own sexuality and wanted to explore myself as much as I wanted to explore someone’s body. The effects of his touch, his arms gently rubbing my back and his passionate kisses on my neck made me want more. I thought his body would be enough for the moment. After we were done, we dressed and returned to the party. We briefly separated and I found myself searching for him all over the party. Something inside me broke. I was vulnerable and scared. That was the first time reality hit me.
How can someone who just stood next to me, kissed me, hugged me and had sex with me become a total stranger, just moments later? Can people actually change instantly? Before sleeping with him, I never considered my virginity sacred. I knew that losing my virginity would eventually happen and that my life could go on from there without any changes. I thought to myself maybe he will stay with you afterwards, maybe he will treat you like a princess each day from now on. You know what happened, don't you?
He didn’t even have the courtesy to kiss me goodbye. Nothing. I just went to the bathroom, cleaned myself up, cried and realized that, unfortunately, I was irreparably changed. There was a part of me that was gone. I was hurt and weak even if I didn’t want to admit it. What happens now?
Who knows? One thing was for certain - that it was too late. I gave myself away too fast, and I was left behind drunk, hurt and feeling alone.
My friends comforted me and helped me forget about my misery by sharing their own personal misfortunes. These girls had one to two-year relationships destroyed and left behind the men they loved so dearly. They were as hurt and alone as I was. Again, I wondered how someone can spend that much time with you just to become strangers.
Sometimes, I looked to my grandmother just to see how perfectly happy she was in a marriage for over five decades. She never complained about her husband, and she always beamed when she shared stories about her early years of marriage. People seemed to have bigger problems and the fact that they had a relationship made them stronger and grew their bond. The tough times together matured them and influenced them to appreciate their sacred bond with each other. If you think about it, in today's world, people tend to avoid relationships that have a difficult start. We become pickier, lazier and we always seek the easy way out. Somewhere, somehow, after all these years, real love died. I gave up dreaming of a marriage like what my grandparents had. Love seemed like the lottery. Sure you could play the game of love, but your chances of winning were slim and none. You were more likely to be struck by lightning than to win at love.
Sure, I went on dates, laughed and had some great times. But, I knew that I was not going to make the same mistake I did the first time. In fact, I found it hard to make myself emotionally available to the men that I dated. There was always a fear that I would be taken advantage of and left to reflect on how another man used me for his instant gratification.
I enjoyed the simple things in relationships, like getting flowers, having coffee in the morning with him while recounting stories until 3:00 in the morning. These were the things that made my soul tremble and my head spin around. If someone made me feel loved, I wanted to spend every free moment with him. Of course, I tried my best to make him feel the same. The real struggle was to make him think I was sensitive and caring without looking like an abandoned puppy. It all had to feel and look natural, even if I was at an internal war with myself most of the time.
Now that I have admitted that I am not comfortable with having an intimate relationship after my first experience, I may as well admit that it’s because I never felt I truly loved a man. Isn’t it funny? I have at least ten years of experience in dating, but none of them made me feel like I wanted to spend the rest of my days with him. There was always something inside me yelling, Don't stop now! It's not the way it is meant to be. And it wasn’t. I would always try hard at being a good girlfriend, but in the end, it always felt like they just wanted to use me and be done with the relationship.
My longest relationship lasted four years with a man named Alex. Two years were spent perfectly happy, one year was a struggle to keep on track, and the last year was full of lies. I fooled myself to believe that I was happy and that I had finally found someone. But, he lied and was unfaithful to me. His new lover was a co-worker of mine that he met at a party. It started innocent enough with flirting. They must have secretly exchanged phone numbers that night because it was shortly after that party that I noticed a drastic change in the way he treated me. Alex had completely disconnected from me and usually spoke to me with indifference in everything. I knew we didn’t belong together any longer and I further knew when I would hear his late night phone calls to her. I silently suffered and never confronted him about it. They continued talking to each other, getting closer to one another as my dreams of a loving relationship faded away. Pretending to not know was so stupid that it gave them the perfect opportunity to completely forget about me. What can I say? I am a real matchmaker.
Anyways, I felt so relieved when he confessed he was cheating on me and that he was leaving me. I even helped him pack his things so he could get out of my apartment sooner. After he had left, I felt alone, but somehow glad. I still don't know why I didn’t have the courage to end that relationship myself.
I was alone again and had plenty of time to examine my life. Sure, I was missing something or I was doing something wrong. But, what exactly was it? Do I always pick the bad guys? Do I have some sort of distorted view of what love actually is?
So, I decided to focus on my career and forget about love. Certainly, I would have been open to it if it hit me but I didn't really think someone would just materialize. My thought was that from now on I would seek comfort in myself and in my work. I was working for three years as part-time secretary and knew it was time for a change. Even though I was earning enough money as a secretary, I always felt the need to try something different. But, I also didn’t want to ruin my career in searching for perfection as I did with my love life. So, I decided that it was best for me to just get a job at a small privately-owned company with room for growth. Burnt by my past love life and empty, my work could be my new love and I could face a long, busy schedule without being bothered too much. No one to answer to, no need to plan my evenings or reserve special times to go out on a fancy dinner party for this girl anymore. I was going to be a career woman and could easily love the reward of a promising future.
My new set of rules was quite simple. I promised myself not to fall in love, not to deviate from my professional life and to buy myself a new house. Or, at least I wanted to find a suitable apartment to rent, the one I was living in now had a lot of bad memories. Until then, just let me drink my wine and smoke my cigarettes.
Chapter 2 - A New Start
My mother was French, my dad was British and I was born in America. So, I grew up learning two different languages and developed an unusual accent. But that didn't stop me from teaching French and giving free lessons to my close friends or neighbors. So, I considered making a transition as a secretary to being a French translator. It seemed to be a safe, yet comfortable transition for me. From the research, though, I did think that the pay would actually be a little better.
I shot out at least two or three dozen resumes to different companies, but I found, for the most part, companies were usually looking for Spanish translators. That wasn’t going to stop me and the day came that all of my job prospecting paid off.
“Hello,” I answered my phone, “this is Raven Duff. Can I help you?”
“Hello, Raven, this is Daniel Davish from HR Inspire. You applied for a job at our company and we wanted to see when you are available to stop in for an interview.”
“Sure, sure,” my excitement grew. “Sorry, is there an ideal time for you?”
“No problem, are you available for an interview tomorrow? Let's say about nine o'clock?”
“Perfect!” I chimed. “Can you send the address to my email? Then, I’ll confirm.”
“I will. Thank you very much and we’ll see you tomorrow!”
Wow! I can't believe they called me!
I thought. HR Inspire was the type of company that every girl would want to work for. They produced an exclusive fashion line and they needed a translator for their foreign affairs and fashion imports. What a great opportunity! I could be stylish and earn money at the same time. Before I even had the chance to reflect on this possible new job, my phone rang again.
“Good evening, Raven Duff speaking.”
“Hello, Ms. Duff, this is Joanna from Q10. You applied for a job at our company. Are you still available for work?” There was a slight pause, and by now I was flabbergasted, “Our owner needs a bilingual personal assistant. Do you think you are suitable for this position?”
Already excited by the thought of working with HR Inspire, I almost refused this offer. Who the hell was Q10? Was it a gas station or something? Yeah right, but maybe HR Inspire won’t hire me. Who knows what nasty interviewer I'll get. After all, my experience was quite limited, so in all likelihood I may not even get hired there. I'll give both jobs a try.
“I think so, is noon okay for you?”
“Let me check,” there was a shuffling followed by the tapping of a keyboard. “Yes, Mister Alvarado will be available. I’ll email the address in a minute. Have a lovely day!”
And, she just hung up. The interviewer had something remotely pushy in her voice. She was probably in a rush to hire someone or get back to business. Two interviews on the same day! It’s a good start, maybe I’ll get back on track sooner than I expected. This way, I will be so preoccupied with work that I won't have time to think about my ex-boyfriend.
I quietly reflected on how things were changing in a good way and for the first time in a long time, I felt confident about it. All signs were telling me that this was the right choice. Quitting my boring secretary job was easy since my ex-boss didn't even try to stop me or ask me why I was leaving. My mom was perfectly fine with the situation and my friends were supportive and encouraging.
The truth was that for the first time in a long while, things were calm and stable. I always managed to stay somewhat independent even if I had serious relationships, so, that wasn't a big change. If there was something new in my life, it was coming from inside of me. I saw things clearly and it made me look and act calm and determined. Enjoying the present moment was the biggest gift I could get and it made me grateful. A pleasant sensation of comfort washed over me.
**********
That night, I sank back into my recliner and put my headphones on to listen to some music. It was rainy and a cool breeze drifted in through the front window. I began to see all of the great opportunities that lay in front of me and how my life would start to change for the better. I could be independent, career-minded and begin to see the life I so richly deserved. Before I knew it, I drifted off to sleep.
I instinctively awoke in a panic.
Oh my goodness! The interview!
I quickly snatched my purse, grabbed a taxi and cleaned my smeared mascara with a wet tissue on the way. But what interview was first? I had wildly written down the street addresses in my haste, but I forgot to write down the company names for each address. To make matters worse, I forgot my phone, so I couldn’t simply just check my email. So I took a chance and had the taxi driver choose the closest one. It was already 8:35 a.m. so I had fifty-fifty odds that I’d make it to the correct interview. The taxi driver was the best thing that happened to me that morning since he knew every possible shortcut. At 8:59 a.m. he stopped in front of a big three story building with a giant flower garden out front and a sign that read “Q10.”
Oh shoot! I got it wrong, I knew it as soon as I saw the Q10 sign. My heart sank since I knew that I’d never make it in time for the HR Inspire interview. Sadly, since I left my phone at home, there was no way I could call them to let them know of my tardiness. Well, being already here, I might as well knock and see what happens, I thought as I approached the front doors.
The dose of morning adrenaline made me forget all about wearing my glasses or putting on my interview attire. I only had a plain white t-shirt, blue jeans, sneakers, and a black suit jacket.
From the second floor, the silhouette of a tall, young man was watching me. But without my glasses, I couldn't see a damn thing, much less who that was in the window. Except for tall buildings and the shape of the moon, my vision was worthless. I assumed that since I arrived too early I would smoke a cigarette and relax a bit before going in. Well, I can't wait three hours here! I'll just finish my cigarette and go have breakfast, read a book and come back. After three deep inhales and lusting after the other lost job, the door opened and a friendly face walked up to me.
“Miss Raven!” the women called out as she approached me. “You are here quite early, but you are in luck, Lucian will arrive in ten minutes to have coffee with us.”
She paused just next to me and asked, “May I join you? Or, would you like to come in and meet everyone?”
“No, thank you, I'll just wait for him outside.” I curtly responded as I did my best to shield the smoke from smothering my new acquaintance. From her small purse, she pulled out a cigarette, lit it and took a long drag. She paused and appeared to compose her thoughts.
“You know you were scheduled at twelve, don't you?” She stated as she lifted an eyebrow. “By the way, my name is Joanna. I'm the company's secretary.” She tucked her small purse under her arm and offered her free hand to shake.
“Nice to meet you. Yeah, sorry about that, I was up late and—”
“Please don't!” She interrupted, “We don't have to justify absences or being late around here. Just ask permission and you’re good. Or, in your case, just join us. Ha ha!”
“I'm sorry to ask, but how did you know my name?” My curiosity got the best of me as I didn’t think I could be the only applicant for this job. Besides, I could’ve just been some random person that just stopped out front of their building to enjoy the view of their flower garden while puffing away on a cigarette.
“Well, that's simple darling, Lucian posted this job a long time ago and only interviewed three people. He is quite picky and always chooses one candidate per day. You are today’s lucky applicant! Ha ha.”
“I hope I will be!”
Joanna winked at me, threw her cigarette away and entered the building. Her face had a perfect, familiar smile as she walked me into the lobby with a lot of unique collectible toy cars in expensive glass cases. She invited me to take a seat. Surrounded by flowers and aquariums, I realized that I had a few moments to myself so I could mentally prepare for the interview.
Maybe it's not that bad. Or she is making things appear a lot easier than they really are
. I thought to myself. Instead of reading something about the company or go to the bathroom, I watched Joanna through the glass reception window as she carefully arranged her papers at her desk. I found it interesting that she smiled while she busied herself even when no one was around.
Between the front desk and the front entrance was a conference room with glass doors. Inside you could see red painted walls with drawings and all sorts of motivational posters lining them. A dozen or so employees were chattering and drinking coffee around the long table in the middle of the room. They were laughing, talking, smiling at each other, just as you see in those cheesy commercials on TV. Everyone seemed happy there. Maybe they had found the right place and the right job.
When I worked as a secretary at my last job, I greeted the company's guests with a big smile and a calm voice. But I was never actually happy, it was just a business only smile. Joanna and the rest of her co-workers seemed to have a perfect cohesion, just like they were a tight knit family. Something made me want to join them; it was like being five again and secretly hoping that I could join a group of ballerinas just to wear their fabulous outfits. HR Inspire fast became the number two priority now and my first priority was to learn more about these people, to watch how things went in this company.
When Lucian entered the building, I knew he was in charge of the enterprise. He immediately bee-lined to the conference room. The calm, quiet atmosphere broke and the employees swarmed around him asking questions and laughing even louder than before. He took a minute to look around and smile. He came back out and spoke a little with Joanna. Then, he turned and came directly to me.
“Good morning, Raven!” He extended his hand to me, “My name is Lucian Alvarado, I'm the owner of Q10. Welcome!”
“Nice to meet you, sir,” I stood to shake his hand and my eyes fell on the golden inscription of his shirt's button that read “Q10.” Lucian was almost as tall as I was, with short gray hair and deep brown eyes. His nose seemed a little too big for his whole face and he had deep pockmarks on his cheeks. His voice was balanced and full of confidence; he was elegant and friendly, professional with a touch of fatherly concern.
“How was your morning?” he asked.
I was not expecting this question, it somehow disoriented me. I was expecting something like, Why are you here so early? or Do you know anything about us? So, I just smiled and stuttered a bit, floundering for a well-worded, semi-intelligent answer.
“N-not too well,” I paused, “Sir, I came here and I was supposed to go...”
“Oh, well, I’m glad you’re here,” he interrupted. “By the way, please call me Lucian. Everyone here calls me that here.”
“Thank you, I'll try to get used to it,” I smiled and gently pushed my hair behind my ears.
“How well do you know French?” he asked.
“I’m very fluent.”
“Take a look at this, Raven,” he motioned toward the kitchen. “See those people? They have all been working for me for at least three years. I never fire people and I never hire someone if I don't feel it is the right person for me. I even have employees that have worked with me since the beginning of the company and that’s been twelve years now. I do things differently. I don't care about your background, hair, clothes or other needless superficial things. If I feel you are the right one for me, that means you are. No one beats me at reading people!” He tilted his head down and looked up from under his brow.
“Well then, can you tell me something about me?” I humored him as I halfheartedly laughed..
“Divorced or probably separated,” he paused, then brought his hand to his chin as he thought. “Relationship was probably terrible. And no one asked you for a long time how you enjoyed your day. You just need a fresh start.”
I was speechless. For about a minute, we just stood there. He was smiling, satisfied with his victory and I had my eyes wide open. My chin was trembling, but I didn't feel the need to cry. I was unable to move a finger. We stared at each other for a few seconds before he broke the awkward moment.
“What are your salary expectations?”
“I think...” I squinted and furrowed my brow thinking of a quick answer. “Thirty-six a year?”
“Buh!” he laughed loudly, “Are you kidding me? Okay!” he said getting some distance to measure me from head to toe. “I'll give you forty. One month prepaid probation. If you like us, you can stay as long as you want. If you don't, you can leave at any time. But trust me, working with me means no money worries. You have many chances to grow. When are you available to start?”
“Tomorrow. What will my duties be?”
“Okay, then,” he heartily slapped my back, “We have coffee at nine and then work until six. You have a one-hour lunch break.”
He paused briefly and lightly said with his hand cupped on the side of his mouth, “You just have to take care of me.” This was a slightly confusing statement, so I just agreed with it and shook my head.
Then he handed me an envelope full of money, a contract and left. Just before he stepped out of the room, he turned to ask me one more question.
“Do you smoke?”
“Yes, sir. I mean, Lucian!”
“Then please be sure to clean up after your smoke breaks. You are already playing with fire by smoking.” he winked, turned around and headed out of the room.
Joanna walked me out, handed me a key for the next day and welcomed me to the company. I paused for a moment to admire the neighborhood and noticed that it was close to the subway.
As I started to walk away, I looked back to see the silhouette was still watching me, but this time from the company's conference room. This time, I could see that he was a good looking young man, dressed business-like with a dark blue suit, dark brown hair, a five o’clock shadow and a half-cocked grin. I looked away and tried to ignore his gaze even though I could feel him still watching me as I moved forward. At the corner of the street, I started smoking just to take this all in. What does
you should just take care of me
mean? Was that a business metaphor? Is it advice like
you scratch my back, I scratch yours
?
I called my mom to give her the great news. She was super glad that I found work using her native language. When she told me she was proud of me, I instantly lost half of my concerns. Afterwards, I called HR Inspire and explained the mix-up and profusely apologized. They seemed somewhat relieved that I called back and assured me that if I change my mind, I could apply for another position within the company. Life was finally taking a turn for the better and I couldn’t help but reflect on how Alex leaving was the best thing to happen to me. I felt like I finally had closure and I could officially move to the next chapter in my life.