My Wish for You (14 page)

I was slightly
surprised to see the light still shining underneath Sean and Brian’s door. I
knocked softly and cracked the door. Leaning my head in the door, I saw Sean
lying on his bed, reading, the light by his bed dimly lit. He looked at me with
suspicion clear in his eyes and tried to cover the book as much as possible. I
stepped in and closed the door quietly behind me so I wouldn’t wake up anyone.

His eyes
traveled up and down, admiring my pajamas. When he finally looked up, there was
a wicked glint in his eyes. I quickly became self-conscious and looked over to
Brian’s bed to see his amused expression. Instead, I found his bed empty. Sean
laughed at my confused expression as I turned my head back towards him.

“Out with
Alisha, at some party,” he explained in a low whisper.

“Oh, what are
you reading?” I asked as I sat down on his bed next to his outstretched legs.

“Nothing.” He
shoved the book further under his leg.

“Liar,” I
accused and lunged towards the book. We fought for the book and eventually I
got a good hold on it. Sean reached over to snatch it back and we both fell on
the floor with a big thud. We both grew real quiet and looked to the door. I
looked down at the book in my hand.

“You’re reading
The
Notebook
?” I asked incredulously. “You took my book?”

“I thought you
were done with it. It’s a good book,” he admitted.

Stunned, I
stared at him. I never would’ve pegged him for a chick book reader. I started
to snicker.

“Oh, shut up,”
he laughed. Then, he got really silent again and put his hand on my mouth to
silence me. We listened to a creak on the floorboard. I closed my eyes,
anticipating the moment when we would get busted. After a few minutes, when I
was sure no one was coming in, I opened my eyes to find Sean inches away from
my face.

“That was close,”
I whispered.

“Not as close as
I am to kissing you right now.”

He moved his
hand that was still on my mouth to my neck and pulled me closer. He leaned his
head in to mine, his eyes hesitant. Then, he was kissing me. He slid over me,
careful not to squish me, and I slipped my hands around his neck, gripping him
to me tightly. I didn’t care whether or not he squished me. I just wanted him
as close as possible.

He shifted his
weight over onto his shoulder and started playing with the hem of my shirt, his
fingers trailing along my waistline. I tried to catch my breath and moved my
mouth to his neck, kissing it slowly. He leaned his head in right below my ear
and breathed into it heavily. The heat from his breath spread down the back of
my neck and I shivered. I turned my head and grabbed his face to pull his mouth
back to mine. He slid his hand to the top of my sweats and tugged the tie
loose.

I knew if I didn’t
stop him soon, I wouldn’t. I didn’t want to. But, it wasn’t right. Innocent
kisses were one thing, but this…I wouldn’t let him make a mistake that he would
definitely regret when he woke up. He slipped his hand underneath the waistband
of my sweats and I broke away from his kiss.

“Sean, we can’t
do this.”

“Oh, I beg to
differ.” He placed his mouth on my collarbone and I gasped. The heat spread
through me. He was making it incredibly hard to say no.

“Sean, please,”
I breathed out, regretting the words as they came out. “You’re still technically
with
her. We can’t.
I
can’t. I’m sorry.”

He pulled his
head back and looked at me. He nodded and sighed, then rolled over onto his
back. I stayed still as we both tried to even out our breathing. Once we had, I
tied the strings on my sweats back in a bow.

“Should I go?” I
asked when my breathing was finally normal.

“No, please. Don’t
go.” He pulled me over to him. We were still on the floor. Closing my eyes, I
wrapped my arms around him. I could feel him breathing on the top of my head.
We stayed like that for an immeasurable amount of time. When he finally spoke,
I was starting to fall asleep.

“Why does this
feel so right if it’s so wrong?” he asked, more to himself than to me. He
sighed and rubbed my shoulders softly. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t really
know what there was to say to that. The silence carried on for a little longer,
and then I decided that it was time to get some answers.

“Can I ask you
something? If you don’t want to answer that’s okay, but I’m curious.”

“Sure, shoot,”
he hesitated. I figured I’d better just rip off the band aid.

“Why would you
stay with her? Why did you stay with her? I mean, you know she cheats on you;
she treats you like shit. Why would you put yourself through the pain of that
time and time again? I just—I can’t wrap my head around it.”

“Wow, no one
ever just asks me straight out like that. They go around and around in circles,
beating around the bush, not asking the question.” He paused. I twisted my head
up to look at him and waited for an answer. “I’m not really sure, although, I
think it has something to do with the fact that she was my first serious
girlfriend. She has a part of me that I’ll never get back. It’s hard to let go
of that. I know that I need to leave her, but it’s so hard. I don’t really want
to believe it. There are just so many memories that were good. It wasn’t always
bad. It got really bad after I left for school.”

His voice broke
at the end. I propped myself up onto my elbow so I could see his face clearly.
There were tears building up in his eyes and he was looking away from me.

There was
definitely a different side of him that I was seeing tonight. He had never been
so vulnerable in front of me before. I hadn’t even seen him really sad like
this. He was always so happy. And while it stung a little to hear him talk
about her like that, I wanted to protect him and wipe away all his pain. A few
tears spilled over the brim of his eyes and ran down his cheek. I lifted my
hand and gently wiped them away. He looked back towards me and smiled slightly,
but it didn’t reach his eyes. I tried to smile back. I wanted to say I was
sorry that I brought it up, but truly, I wasn’t.

“Well, I should
get going. It’s getting late.” I glanced over at the clock on Brian’s
nightstand. “Actually, it’s getting early.” He smiled a real smile. Leaning
down, I gave him one more soft kiss. He buried his hands in my hair and pulled
me in closer. His cheeks were still wet from his tears.

I pulled away
unwillingly. I wanted nothing more than to stay there with him, but Brian would
be home soon. Not that I worried about him knowing; Sean or I would tell him
eventually. But, Brian wasn’t exactly quiet about sneaking around. I had been
caught sneaking in and out with him on more than one occasion. This was the
last place I should be if he was going to be making noise when he came in.

“Get some rest,
please. You look exhausted.” I stroked his cheek once more and stood up. He
just nodded and watched me as I walked out of the room.

I stood outside
his door, letting my eyes adjust to the dark. My legs felt heavy as I walked
away. As I made my way back to my room, I was careful not to step on the loose
floorboard. When I reached the end of the hall, I prayed that Cassie and Sarah
were fast asleep. The lights weren’t showing in the crack at the bottom of the
door. That was a good sign. Still, I really did not want to explain why I was
just getting back to the room. Slowly, I turned the door and peeked my head in.
It was dark, but it looked like they were both asleep.

Cautiously, I
slipped in and shut the door behind me. I made my way over to my bed, stepping
over anything that was a hazard to my stealthiness. Finally, I made it to my
bed and crawled into it. So much was clearer now. I could see why it was
difficult for him to leave her, even though he wanted to.

I yawned and
curled into my blankets. The fact that it felt right for him too made me feel
extremely content. Happily, I replayed our kiss over and over in my head until
I finally fell asleep.

Chapter Nineteen

Over the next
few days, Sean and I were practically inseparable. Everything was flawless. We
went on hikes. We went swimming. We went to a few parties. The only times we
could ever be pulled away from each other was when Brian and Jonathon or Sarah
and Cara managed to separate us from each other. From the moment we woke up til
the moment we went to bed, we were together.

Now, Sarah and I
were getting ready for our weekly family lunch, proper attire required.

I slipped on my
new powder blue dress and glanced at myself in the mirror. I’d hated the dress
when I bought it…or rather, when Sarah and Cara made me buy it. I hadn’t liked
the empire waist or the tie in the back. But, I had to admit, it kind of
flattered me. My dark hair contrasted with it nicely, and the shade brought out
the color in my eyes.

“You want me to
do something with your hair?”

“Uhh….” I
glanced at my simple looking hair. I had let it go natural and just curl, but
now it just looked lifeless. “Yeah, sure, I guess.”

Sarah weaved my
hair into a chiffon bun at the nape of my neck, leaving a few curls to stray
loose.

“Stay here,” she
instructed. While waiting, I finished getting ready, putting on a light layer
of makeup. I was brushing on some mascara when she returned, white orchid in
hand.

“What’s that for?”
I asked.

“Finishing
touches.” She looked at me in the mirror as she walked behind me and placed the
orchid in the bun. “There.”

She took a step
back and I spun for her.

“He’ll never be
able to keep his eyes off you.”

Blushing, I
rolled my eyes at her and departed the bathroom to find Cassie staring up at
me, accusation in her eyes.

“What?” I
demanded.

“Oh…nothing.”

She smirked at
me and I rolled my eyes at her as I turned away from her, muttering a quick, “Whatever,”
under my breath.

Practically skipping,
I made my way down the hallway to Sean and Brian’s room. I knocked daintily and
waited for an answer. Brian opened the door and looked at me up and down.

“Oh man, he’ll
never be able to keep his eyes off of you.”

“So I’ve heard,”
I laughed. “Is he ready?”

He turned
towards the bathroom and called out, “Hey loverboy! You ready?”

The bathroom
door opened up and out stormed Sean, shirt unbuttoned, toothbrush in mouth. “Do
I wook weady?” He stopped mid-step when he saw me. Dropping his jaw, his
toothbrush fell out of his mouth. Stammering, he quickly bent to pick up the
toothbrush.

“Errm. You
wook—wow,” was all that he managed to articulate through his mouthful of
toothpaste.

“That would be a
no,” Brian chuckled, stepping aside to let me in. I sat on the edge of his bed
and smoothed out the skirt of my dress while I waited for Sean.

“So, Brian. Is
there something you want for your birthday?”

“Nope. You?”

“Ha. Of course
not,” I snorted.

“So, we’re
sticking do the deal?”

“Indeed we are,”
I agreed.

Every year we
had this conversation, and every year it went the same. We never got anything
for each other for our birthday. It was like a weird ritual of ours. I couldn’t
even remember when it actually started…somewhere around the time when we
started getting allowance instead of having our parents buy our gifts for
people. Our parents were rather offended by it, but it was just our thing.

“Do I hear
Samantha actually admitting that she has a birthday?” Sean mocked as he walked
out of the bathroom, buttoning up his shirt, hiding his well-sculpted abs. I
shook that thought out of my head and looked up at him with big innocent eyes.

“Who? Me?”

He walked over
to me and bent down to kiss me lightly on the lips.

“Yes, you.”

“I was admitting
nothing of the sort,” I smiled, standing up beside him. Out of the corner of my
eye, I could see Brian grinning and giving me a thumbs up. I giggled at him and
rolled my eyes. Sean looked down at me curiously.

“What?”

“Nothing,” I
shook my head. “You ready?”

“I am.” He put
his hand on the small of my back and motioned towards the door. “Shall we?”

Leisurely, we
made our way down to the back porch.

“You look really
beautiful, Sammy.” He gazed down at me and smiled softly. “I can barely keep my
eyes off you.”

I blushed and
looked out on to the porch. Mom and Mrs. W were setting the table on the
screened in porch. At the same time, they both looked up, taking in the sight
of Sean and me, Sean’s arm wrapped around me. The two of them shared a knowing
smile before going back to prepping for lunch.

Sean held my
chair for me as I sat down, then sat in the chair to my right. We were soon
accompanied by the rest of the family. Dad and Mr. W brought out the barbequed
steaks, and Mom and Mrs. W brought out the array of side dishes. Everyone was
silent for a few minutes as they dug into their plates of food. Slowly, the
conversations started and the table began to buzz with chatter.

“So,” Sean
whispered under his breath to me as I cut a piece of steak slowly.

“So?” I
repeated, sticking the piece in my mouth. I tried to ignore the fact that
Cassie was watching us, but it was slightly creepy.

“There’s a party
tonight. I don’t know who’s hosting, but Jonathon got the invite. Do you want
to go?”

I choked on the
piece of steak as I tried to swallow it. Coughing caused everyone to turn their
attention to us. Grimacing, I finally caught my breath and took a drink of my
water.

“How’s Tasha,
Sean?” Cassie inquired loudly.

I coughed,
spitting my water across the table. Somehow, I even managed to hit Cassie in
the process. She made a disgusted face at me before looking back to Sean.