My True Cowboy (11 page)

“That was his fault, Susan.” His voice matched his glare. Both were harsh.

“I know. And I can't say I'm upset about him not being in my life. But it also made me think that the only way to be safe was to push everyone else away. That's what I hate most about what Greg did to me. He made me afraid to ever let anyone get close.”

“But with me you're starting to think differently?”

“Yes. I don't know why.”

“You don't know. Hmm…” In the reflection of the twinkling lights, his eyes glowed. “Is that a fact?”

His accent had thickened. She was starting to learn that
his voice thickened, became almost more Texan in times of deep emotion. When he was at the hospital. When he discussed getting his father into the Lodge.

And now. When he was about to kiss her.

With sure steps, he led them to the shadow of the bank. Where it was dark, out of the way.

And then, before she knew what to say, he lowered his mouth, cupped her jaw in his hand and kissed her.

Deliberately. Slowly. The same way he seemed to do everything else. With thought and extreme care. A probe of his tongue opened her lips. Then, still holding her face tenderly in his hands, he explored her mouth.

It was the most passionate, heartfelt kiss she'd ever had. His touch, his scent, his taste grabbed her senses and held on tight, making her aware of only him.

Making her hope things would never end.

Slowly, Susan raised her hands and flattened her palms on his chest, felt his heartbeat and kissed him back.

Only after an eternity did he step back.

Only after they gazed at each other in wonder, panting, attempting to get their breath back, did she realize that they were still in the shadows of the building.

And that anyone could have been watching them.

But even more surprising, Susan realized she didn't care.

No, far from worrying about what people thought, only Cal Riddell occupied her mind. Her palms still flat against his cotton shirt, she felt the heat radiate from his skin. As the beat of his heart thumped under her hand, she imagined what he'd feel like without that shirt on.

Okay. Without a stitch of clothing on. She wondered what he'd be like in bed. Would he still kiss her so deliberately?

Would his hands be as methodical and deliberate?

Would he say her name, all soft and slow, emphasizing the first syllable, letting the second drift off into almost nothing?

Even thinking about him, over her, his body naked, his skin bronzed, those grayish-blue eyes of his flashing passion, made her toes curl.

“Maybe…maybe we should walk on,” she said softly.

Taking her hand again, he nodded. “Which way do you want to go?”

They were at the street corner. Electra, being the small town that it was, had ended abruptly, with the one stop-light, and was now twinkling in its glory behind them. “What are the choices?”

“Well, Sue, we can turn around and go back the way we came,” he drawled. “Or we can make a turn.”

“Is there anything of interest in that direction?”

“More than you might imagine. But perhaps, not as much as you might hope.”

Susan couldn't help it, she laughed. “Are we still talking about walking?”

“I'm not even sure anymore.”

What did that mean?

She was tempted to ask, but when she glanced his way again, he stared only straight ahead. Yet, with his right arm, he covered her hand that clutched his left arm. Gently tracing a finger over the veins in her hand, he caressed it gently before guiding her hand down to join his.

It was a lot of fuss to switch hand positions. But because it had felt so deliberate, every sense was focused only on him.

And she knew if he pushed her up against the wall of one of the buildings, she'd kiss him again. And if he asked her to his bed, why, she'd probably go.

Which all seemed a little too fast.

“Maybe we should go back the way we came,” she finally said.

“It's probably the right decision,” Cal said after a pause.

She bit her lip. “But maybe next time—if you want there to be a next time—we could try making that turn?”

“Oh, there will definitely be a next time, Susan. And then, I promise, I'll do whatever you want.”

I'll do whatever you want.

All night, those words had reverberated through Susan's head. Cal had sounded so serious. So determined.

And though she was all about being independent and not needing anyone…well, his words had filtered through that almost-tough exterior and reached all her soft emotions.

The tender, feminine feelings she'd done her best to pack away after Greg had broken her heart.

Yep, as soon as Cal had said those words, she'd looked up at him and felt a hard punch of fierce longing. It had thrown her for a loop—after all, she sure hadn't felt desire like that in a very long time.

The fact was, his words had sounded so completely romantic, they'd pretty much taken her breath away. From the time she was a little girl, all she'd wanted was to be loved and appreciated. That had been both a gift and trouble for her. She'd been an overachiever, just to get that gold star from her teacher and smiles from her parents. She'd dated guys because they'd liked her—hoping that eventually she'd return their feelings.

Then Greg had happened.

Her relationship with Greg had been the epitome of that way of thinking. She'd dated him because he'd really liked her, slept with him because she'd hoped she loved him and
then had watched everything in their relationship disintegrate into what it actually was the moment she became pregnant. Nothing more than something superficial.

Because of that experience, she'd built up walls around herself. Within those walls, she could be safe. Of course, it had also felt lonely and a bit confining.

Until now.

Cal treated her differently. Though he wasn't one for flowery words or effusive compliments, Susan knew he looked at her in appreciation. In addition, he seemed to enjoy the sparks that flew between them as much as she did. Well, as much as a man like him would allow himself to.

He seemed to almost welcome the moments when they didn't agree. Those cool blue-gray eyes of his would heat up and a hint of a smile could be heard in his voice.

What's more, her hesitance to pursue him didn't turn him cold, either. Actually, her wariness only seemed to make him comfortable….

And she couldn't deny his kisses had ignited something deep inside her. Rarely had she felt so protected and vulnerable as when he'd carefully placed both his hands on her face and held her to him as he'd kissed her.

His strong demeanor, mixed with his gentle mouth, had triggered a reaction from her she hadn't dreamed possible.

Greg, in comparison, seemed weak in every way. From the way he'd eagerly kissed her…to the way he'd made love to her, hastily and with no thought to her needs…to the way he'd left when life had become too demanding.

And she, like a fool, had taken much of his rejection as her fault. Figuring that once again, she hadn't been good enough to deserve to be loved unconditionally.

Susan had a feeling Cal would never treat her like that.

“Mom? Are you ever going to get out of bed?” Hank called from the kitchen.

With a start, she realized the television was on, and that Hank had already gotten himself up and was having breakfast. “I am, honey,” she said. “Are you doing okay?”

“Uh-huh.”

Susan slipped on her robe as she padded out to see him. Ruffling his hair, she kissed his brow. “What a good boy you are, getting breakfast on your own.” Noticing that he was eating cornflakes with a sugar substitute, she added, “You're even using the right kind of sweetener.”

He rolled his eyes. “I told you I'm getting smarter,” he said around a mouthful of cereal.

“Yes, you are.” Desperate for coffee, she poured grinds into the top of the pot, then started filling the carafe with water. “We've got a whole Sunday with nothing planned. What should we do?”

“I want to go back to the ranch.”

Ranch equaled Cal. Which equaled that swirl of desire in her belly. Carefully, she stomped that down. “Oh, Hank. We can't go over there anytime we want. We have to wait for an invitation.”

“You think we can get one of those soon?”

Hank was talking like she could pick up an invite at the Piggly Wiggly. “No. We have to wait until it's his idea.”

“Can't you call up Mr. Riddell?”

“No, I cannot.” She wasn't emotionally ready to see him again. She felt too vulnerable.

Hank slumped. “Well, if we don't get to go to the ranch, what are we going to do?”

After pouring herself a mug of coffee, she sat next to him. “All kinds of things. We have this place to clean, and laundry to do.”

Hank made a gagging noise.

“Ha, ha. Just because we don't want to do something doesn't mean we don't have to do it. Now, we both had fun last night, so this morning means we need to do our chores.”

In the middle of nodding, Hank stilled. “What did you do last night?”

“I, uh, went out with Mr. Riddell.” When Hank's eyes went wide, then narrowed, she rushed to explain. “It was a spur-of-the-moment thing. We just went to a restaurant and then for a walk.”

“I wish I could have come, too.”

“It was a grown-up time.” Standing, she picked up his empty bowl. “Now, go get dressed, and bring me your laundry. We're going to get to work.” When he looked to argue, she hardened her voice. “Scoot.”

 

A
FTER TWO HOURS OF DOING
laundry and cleaning bathrooms next to a sulky Hank, Susan began to wish she had called up Cal and invited themselves over. Anything would be better than cleaning the shower and toilet with a seven-year-old.

“Knock, knock!” Betsy called out from the back door. “Susan? Hank? Y'all decent?”

“Hey, Betsy!” Hank ran out of the bathroom to see their neighbor.

“Hey to you, too. How are you?”

“Not so good. I've gotta help Mom clean this morning.”

“Boy, howdy. That is too bad. Were you cleaning all last night, too?”

“No! I went to a friend's!” Susan heard him tell Betsy all about his movie date and their visit to the ranch, and she tried real hard to compose herself. Without a doubt, Betsy had come over to give her grief.

With a pasted-on smile, she joined them. “Good morning,” she said.

“Good mornin' to you, too.” Betsy, as usual, had her hair perfect, her makeup on, and was wearing a cute little sundress.

All of it was the exact opposite of Susan's tied-back hair, unwashed face and old shorts and T-shirt. “We've been cleaning,” she said by way of explanation.

“Cleaning forever,” Hank added.

“Susan, do you have a moment to talk?”

“Um, sure. Hank, you want to go take a break?” Hank left without saying a word, obviously worried she was going to give him a chore to do any second.

When he was in his room, Susan pointed to the patio. “Want to sit outside? There's some privacy.”

“Sure.” As soon as they were on the other side of the sliding glass door, Betsy crossed her arms in front of herself. “I owe you an apology.”

That was the complete last thing Susan had thought she'd hear. “Really?”

“Really. Gene and I talked last night, after you left.” Looking a bit embarrassed, she said, “Actually, he read me the riot act and I listened. For the record, Gene said he couldn't believe I'd been so rude to one of my best friends.”

“He said that?” Susan didn't know if she was more surprised by Gene's words, or the fact that Betsy thought they were that close.

“He did.” Taking a seat, Betsy stretched her lean, tan legs out in front of her. “He wasn't real impressed that I was in such a snit 'cause I didn't get my way.”

“Did you two have fun? I mean, all things considered?”

“We did. Susan, here's the thing. I started dating Gene because he had money. You know how I've been wanting a man like that.”

“I know.”

“But, even though I've been on the lookout for financial security and all, somehow it's all taken a backseat to happiness. I just started being happy in Gene's company instead of being happy 'cause he could give me what I want.”

“Really?” Now, this was getting interesting.

Betsy nodded. “Uh-huh. He's a good man. Decent. And he's got a sweet way about him that I really like. He's patient. And smart, too. I like that in a man.”

Thinking about Cal, and how he managed his whole family's finances, Susan knew she had to agree. “Being smart is a huge plus.”

“So are good friends. I don't know what is between you and Cal, and maybe I don't even need to know. But you are really a nice person, Susan.” Biting her lip, she added, “Obviously I have a lot to learn about being nice right back.”

Susan was in no hurry to discuss Betsy's faults—or her own—again. “Don't worry about it. All this was just a misunderstanding.” She was about to ask Betsy if she wanted to go out to lunch with her and Hank, when the phone rang. “I better go get that.”

Betsy gave her a wave. “I've got things to do, too. Just, thanks, Susan. Thanks a lot.”

Hank got to the phone before she did. As she approached him, she watched her boy's expression go from bored to energized in ten seconds as he jabbered into the phone.

As of late, there was only one person who made him light up like that. “Hank, is that Mr. Riddell?” she whispered.

“Uh-huh. He's asking if we want to go riding. I said yes. Can we?”

Hank's eyes were so bright, Susan knew she'd never be able to say no to the invitation.

Even if being back in Cal's company wasn't something she was prepared for. “Hand me the phone and let me get the full story,” she said.

As soon as the receiver was at her ear, she heard Cal's wonderful, gravelly laugh. “Sometimes I think that boy of yours would get excited about the sun shining.”

No, he got excited about Cal.

But telling him that was much too revealing. “He's a pretty happy person,” she murmured. “Now, could you fill me in?”

“It's nothing big. I was talking to Ginny and she thought maybe Hank would have fun coming out here. I know I'd appreciate his company.”

Susan noticed he didn't say a word about hers. “Oh. Oh, yes, Hank would love to play with Ginny. And get a riding lesson.”

“Maybe you could stay, too?”

“Of course.” That would be the best thing, anyway. In case Hank had an episode. “What time would be good?”

“How about noon?”

“We'll be there. Can I bring lunch?”

After a pause, he said, “That would be real nice. Thank you.”

When she hung up, she turned to Hank and sighed. “Well, Henry Young, you got your wish.”

He didn't even try to look contrite. “I know.”

“Will you promise to be a good boy and listen when Mr. Riddell teaches you how to ride?”

“I promise.”

She wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “Then we have things to do. We have laundry to finish and lunch to make. Get ready to move like lightning.”

Hank laughed as he ran to the dryer and started pulling
out clothes. Susan followed behind, thinking she wasn't fooling herself one bit.

She hadn't agreed for Hank's sake.

She'd agreed to the invitation because she wanted to see Cal again. Badly.

 

A
LL AFTERNOON
, S
USAN
had watched Hank and Cal with a lump in her throat. Moments after they'd pulled up to the Riddells' home, Ginny had run out of the house and practically pulled Hank to the barn.

Cal had waited for Susan, then carried her canvas tote bag into the kitchen, where she'd put the sandwiches and potato salad in the refrigerator.

Moments later, the riding lesson had begun.

Hank had looked nervous, sitting on top of that horse, but his nervousness hadn't seemed to bother either Cal or the horse much at all.

Quietly, Cal had talked to Hank about the parts of a saddle and bridle, then gave him pointers on his posture. Only then had Cal taken the lead rope and slowly led Hank around the corral.

“He's doing real good,” Ginny told Susan when she stood on the bottom rung of the iron fence that made up the corral.

Hank did look good. Actually, he looked as if he was having the time of his life. “Your brother looks like he's a good teacher. Did he teach you to ride?”

“Oh, no. Daddy did.” Her chin rose a bit. “Daddy used to ride in the rodeo, you know.”

Susan had definitely not known that. But before she could comment, Ginny continued. “But Junior's the one to go to if you need help with something.”

“Is that right?”

“Uh-huh. Jarred gives hugs and reads me stories. Trent
plays games and makes me laugh. But Junior's the one to go to if you need help.”

Unbidden, a lump formed in Susan's throat. What would it be like to have someone so steady and dependable in her life? “I think everyone needs someone like that. Someone who will always be there for you.”

Ginny nodded. “Gwen says that's why Junior's the one here helping Daddy so much. Even if he wanted to do something else, he wouldn't.”

Susan tore her eyes from Hank's lesson and studied Ginny with a smile. She was intrigued by the dynamics of the family. “I have a feeling you're right,” she murmured. “I don't think Cal could walk away from a responsibility even if it bit him.”

Ginny giggled. “I don't think Daddy's bitten Cal yet. But he might.”

After the lesson, they ate in the kitchen. When Ginny took Hank out to see the inside of the caboose, Susan smiled Cal's way. “Have I thanked you for today?”

His eyes warmed. “Only about a dozen times. It's not necessary, Susan. We wanted to see you and your boy.”

“I think Hank loves horseback riding.”

“That's a good thing. At least around here, it is. Riding is just part of who we are.” Reaching out, he took her hand and pulled her closer. “Next time y'all come out here, you need to get on the back of a horse, too.”