My Tomorrow (16 page)

Fifteen

I hadn’t slept well.  I missed Ethan at my side.  We didn’t spend a lot of time together, but I looked forward to the night because it was the time he was always there.  He hadn’t come to bed though, and I didn’t blame him.  As much as I wanted him there, I was still too mad at him and it was probably better he stayed away.  I woke up early and when I made my way to the shower in the dark, I saw Ethan asleep, curled up on the couch that was entirely too small for him.  The white sheet used to cover it was now draped over him.  I felt badly for a moment.  I wanted to go to him and tell him we should just forget about everything that had happened and find a way to fix what was broken.  I didn’t go to him though.  I couldn’t.

After my shower, I slid on my black pencil skirt and white blouse, leaving my hair in loose auburn waves.  I looked over at Ethan again.  If he was awake, he didn’t let on and I pulled on my coat and made my way out the door. 

My early wake up gave me extra time to get to work and I walked slowly.  While I was relieved to be out of the apartment, I didn’t want to go to work.  I was terrified actually.  Terrified of seeing Drew and terrified of what I would feel when I saw him again. 

I shook my head, trying not to think about it until I had to.  To prolong my commute to work, once off the subway, I stopped at a coffee shop for a bagel and tea, and after putting it off as long as I could, I finally made my way to the office.  As I stood in the elevator, my nerves got worse as each number ticked by and when it stopped at the fourteenth floor, I had to force myself to step off. 

I smiled at Christa as I walked by reception and headed directly to my desk.  The office was quiet and people were just starting to trickle in.  Court and Anna Beth’s desks were both vacant and Drew’s office was still locked up.  I breathed a sigh of relief and took off my jacket and got to work. 

I was busy editing the proposal for Mr. Tashawa with all of the new details Drew wanted added when Court and Anna Beth came walking in together.

“Morning, Natalie,” Anna Beth said, as she headed to her desk.

“You’re here awfully early,” Court noted as he got himself situated.

“I just wanted to get some work done without any interruptions,” I said, keeping my eyes on the proposal.

“I didn’t realize we were that difficult to work with,” Court smirked.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” I sighed, looking up at him and his mouth turned to a frown as he noticed the wariness on my face.

“You okay?  You seem distraught.”

“Yes, I’m fine.  I just need to get this done,” I said.  There was no way I was going to let Court know anything about this problem.

“Fair enough,” he said and without any further prodding, he got to work.

I don’t know if he did it on purpose or not, but when Drew’s heavy footsteps approached a while later, he looked even hotter than usual: black slacks, black sweater, gelled back hair, and his green eyes seemed even greener.  I could feel my breathing quicken when our eyes met and after he held my gaze for a moment, I forced myself to look back down at my paperwork. 

“Good morning, everyone,” he said as he strode past me. 

Court and Anna Beth greeted him with their usual enthusiasm, but I only managed a mumbled hello. 

Drew locked himself in his office for the next hour and I was grateful for that.  Court and Anna Beth carried on as usual and I tried to engage in the conversation, but the last thing I wanted to do was get involved in their banter.  I was in no mood to talk to anyone.  Surprisingly, I was able to concentrate on the proposal before me.  It kept my mind off the fact that I was in a potentially relationship ending fight with my boyfriend and the fact that the man I cheated on with said boyfriend was only a few feet away.

“Natalie, can I see you in here for a moment please?” Drew’s door had swung open and I felt my back stiffen, knowing we were going to address what had happened between us.  I’d been trying to hide, but my time was up.

“Sure.  Just give me one second,” I said, keeping my eyes on the screen.

I finished inputting some data and then stood up, straightening my skirt and blouse and I walked to the door of his office.

“You wanted to see me?” The nonchalance in my voice was a joke and we both knew it. 

“Close the door please,” he said, his voice low.  I closed it and stepped further into the office. “Take a seat, Natalie,” he said, gesturing to the chair across from his desk. 

I walked silently over to the seat and sat down, crossing my legs nervously.  The tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife.  I waited for him to say something, but he just stared at me from across the desk. 

“You look nice today,” he said as his eyes traveled over me. 

“Thank you,” I said uncrossing, then crossing my legs again.

“I wanted to talk about last night.”

“Maybe we should just not talk about it,” I returned quietly.

“I’m sorry, Natalie.  I was completely out of line.  Maybe it was the wine or maybe it was just you,” he said, lowering his gaze for a moment before looking up again. “Whatever it was, I want to apologize.  I hope we can move past this and not let it affect our working relationship or our friendship.”

“Thank you for the apology, but it’s not necessary.  Last night…it wasn’t just your fault.  I shouldn’t have unloaded on you with my personal problems.  Let’s just put it behind us.”

I stood up, not thinking there was anything left to say, but I stopped when I heard his voice.

“Did you and Ethan work things out?”

“That’s not any of your concern,” I said curtly, needing to do something to try and push him away because all I wanted was to be close to him.

I watched as his face tightened, his jaw clenching and then it softened. 

“You deserve the world, Natalie.  He’d better give it to you.”  I felt myself choke up and I nodded before turning and heading out of his office, needing to get away from him and his words. 

Court and Anna Beth were eyeing me curiously, but I didn’t say anything to them.  I excused myself to the bathroom, where I hid away in a stall, needing to get myself together and get back to work.  I took a few deep breaths and unlocked the stall, looking in the mirror and smoothing my hair before heading back. 

I stopped in my tracks a few feet from my desk though.  Sitting on top of it was a huge bouquet of red tulips, my very favorite flower. 

“Someone’s been a good girl,” Court sang when he saw me.

“Where did these come from?” I asked, quickening my pace to get to the flowers.

“Christa brought them back while you were in the bathroom,” Anna Beth told me.

I grabbed for the card and anxiously ripped open the envelope.

I’m sorry, Nat.  I love you.  I’m in the lobby waiting for you if you’ll see me. –E

“So?  Aren’t you at least going to tell us who they’re from?” Anna Beth asked.

“They’re from Ethan,” I said quietly.

“So, that’s why she’s been so moody.  Fighting with her man,” Court teased and I just glared at him.

“Wow.” Drew’s voice entered the conversation unexpectedly and I looked over to his office door, where he stood staring at the bouquet. “Nice flowers.  Someone must be trying to get out of the doghouse,” he smirked and Court and Anna Beth joined in his laughter.

“He’s in the lobby, waiting for me. Do you mind if I go talk to him?” I asked Drew and he shook his head.

“Don’t mind at all.  I’m all for visitors at the office,” he said and I couldn’t dismiss his open jab to how Ethan had treated me at his work.  He looked over at me, raising an eyebrow and then turned back to his office.

“Go get him, princess,” Court teased and I just grinned at him before heading toward the lobby. 

I approached slowly and could see Ethan sitting in the stiff gray chairs.  He looked cute in a pair of dark jeans and his black cargo jacket. He looked so vulnerable and I smiled, remembering why I’d fallen in love with him in the first place.  For a split second, I forgot about how everything had changed since we moved to New York.

He must’ve been daydreaming because he didn’t hear me walk up beside him.  He was staring off into nothing and his head whipped around when he heard my voice.

“Hey,” I said quietly, meeting his dark eyes once he’d turned to look at me. 

“Nat,” he said softly, quickly rising to his feet.

“Thank you for the flowers.  They’re beautiful,” I said, not knowing what else to say.

“I’m glad you liked them,” he said and the silence returned for a moment before he spoke again, his words cautious and quiet. “Would it be possible to go for a walk or something?”

“I haven’t had a break yet today, so I can probably manage something.  Why don’t you come on back?  I can get my stuff and you can see where I work.” 

“Alright,” he said and followed me over to reception where I signed him into the guest register and then he started following me through the maze of the office. 

“This place is so stuffy,” he whispered as we walked.

“No, it’s not,” I laughed and then the bouquet of tulips burst into view. “There’s my desk.”

“I did do a good job on those flowers,” he smirked and I just rolled my eyes playfully, the tension between us vanishing for a moment.

Court and Anna Beth looked up from their desks when they saw us.  I noticed Court checking Ethan out, his eyes spanning over my boyfriend and then rising from his seat.

“Hello,” Court said in his usual cheeky manner.

“Hi?” Ethan said more like a question than a return greeting.  I was sure he didn’t know how to take Court.  It was more than obvious he was checking Ethan out.

“Court, Anna Beth, this is Ethan, my boyfriend.  Ethan, this is Court and Anna Beth, my co-workers.”

“So, this is the famous Ethan?” Court said, strolling over and extending his hand and Ethan shook it.

“I’m not sure how I should take that, but it’s good to meet you, Court.  I’ve heard a lot about you,” Ethan said.

“All good, I’m sure,” Court laughed and I nodded.

“Of course, Court,” I reassured him.

“Court’s such an attention whore,” Anna Beth piped in, walking over and shaking Ethan’s hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Likewise,” Ethan said and I could tell he was starting to relax a little. “So, this is where you come to work every day?”

“Yep,” I said, knowing it was actually pretty impressive.

“Beats Carmine’s,” he mumbled.

“I’ve just gotta go ask my boss about stepping out for a bit,” I told Ethan and he nodded. 

Drew’s door was open a crack and I was nervous as I gently knocked on it.

“Come in,” his voice called and I walked inside, keeping my distance and staying near the doorway.  His head was down as he busily worked.

“Drew?” I asked, expecting him to look up, but he kept working.

“Yes?”

“I haven’t had a break yet this morning.  Would you mind if I stepped out for a half hour or so?” I asked nervously and he finally looked up.

“Be my guest.”

“I won’t be long.”

“Take all the time you need.  He’s gonna need longer than a half an hour to explain his actions, unless, of course, you decide to forgive him straight away,” he said sternly and then immediately got back to work.

I was surprised by the bluntness of his words and I opened my mouth to say something, but I didn’t know how to respond and I turned, walking out of his office. 

“Is he cool with it?” Ethan asked.

“Yeah, let’s go,” I said, sliding on my coat and grabbing my purse.

“That’s a nice coat,” Ethan said as we walked towards the lobby. “Is it new?”

“I’ve had it for a little while,” I said quickly, surprised he’d never noticed it before.  I only wore it to work and he was always still sleeping when I left and it was hanging in my closet by the time he got home. It made sense he’d never seen it and I wasn’t about to offer any details about where I’d gotten it.

“What kind of dent did that put in the credit card?” he laughed lightly.

“Nothing really,” I answered and I knew I was telling the truth.  It hadn’t put one dent in the credit card. 

Once outside the building, we started walking south and we remained silent.  Soon, Battery Park came into view.  Neither of us had been to it yet, and we were taken aback by the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island in the distance. 

“This silence is killing me, Natalie,” Ethan finally said as we stared out into the water. “Can we talk about this?”

I turned to face him.  He looked worried and nervous, but as handsome as ever. 

Ethan cautiously took my hand and laced our fingers together.  He was warm and it felt nice to feel his hand in mine.  It had been too long since we’d held hands like this.  Intimately.  Uninterrupted.  Innocently. 

“The couch is a pretty uncomfortable place to spend the night,” he said with a cautious smile.

“The bed seemed too big last night.”

“I want to say I’m sorry, Nat, but I know sorry’s not enough for how I treated you yesterday.  If I could take it back, I would.  I was such an asshole.”