My Teenage Dream Ended

Copyright © 2012 by Farrah Abraham

FIRST PUBLISHED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IN 2012 BY:

MTV Press

1515 Broadway

New York, NY 10036

mtv.com

This work is a memoir. It reflects the author’s present recollection of her experiences over a period of years. Certain names, locations, and identifying characteristics have been changed. Dialogue and events have been recreated from memory, and, in some cases, have been compressed to convey the substance of what was said or what occurred.

The views and opinions expressed in the book are solely those of the author and do not represent the views of MTV or its parent company, Viacom, Inc.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, or otherwise, without prior consent of the publisher.

Designed by Susan H. Choi

Photography on pages 162 and 176 by Justin Riddle,

Total Event Photography,

ph: 402.813.2156
email: [email protected]

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DIGITAL EDITION

2012 / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

ISBN

EPUB:
978-1-938765-01-08

PRINT:
978-1576875988

PROLOGUE

My teenage dream ended when I was seventeen. All it took was a phone call. One phone call, and my dream was gone forever.

Up until that moment, I had it all. I was confident, popular, a cheerleader. Best of all, I was crazy in love: The Real Thing. We were lovers and best friends. When we were together, the rest of the world melted away. Sure we had plenty of drama. We made love, fought and broke up, then made up and made love again.

Even when I accidentally got pregnant, I was convinced that everything would work out in the end. We were meant to be together. We wanted to get married and have children. It was just happening sooner than we had planned.

Then, a friend’s voice on the phone changed everything.

“Derek died in a car wreck last night.”

Just like that, my teenage dream ended.

THE PHONE CALL THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

I woke up from an uncomfortable sleep to the sound of my cell phone ringing. It was December 28
^th
and I had fallen asleep downstairs in my parent’s bedroom while watching a movie with my mom. I didn’t usually sleep in my parent’s bed, but my mother had wanted me to sleep with her that night. She was worried about me because lately I had turned from a confident social

butterfly into a quiet, sad and lonely girl.

I was torn between letting it go and picking it up. I couldn’t tell if my mom was asleep and I didn’t want her listening in on my call, but I knew there must be some drama going on for anyone to be calling me in the middle of the night these days. I had distanced myself from my usual crowd of friends, trying not to get caught up in immature gossip or going out late at night. I was seventeen and seven months pregnant. I was going to be on TV soon. I wanted to change my life and get on a better path, for both my baby and myself.

The ringing stopped and I saw the missed call was from Kerrie, one of the few people I could still call a true friend. The last couple of times we had talked it was about boyfriend problems, but it had been a while. There was no message, so I figured she was calling to tell me that she’d seen Derek, my ex, flirting with some girl at a party. He and I played that game; flirting in public, knowing word would get back, just to make the other jealous.

It was 3
AM
and I was too tired to hear about his latest flirtation, so I went back to sleep. But the next morning when I woke up, curiosity got the better of me and I had to know why Kerrie had been calling in the middle of the night. I missed Derek and wanted to talk about him, even if it was just to hear that he was hooking up with some girl to make me jealous.

We were already “officially” broken up when I found out I was pregnant. He had tried to call me when word got out about my pregnancy, but I was determined to keep my distance until after the baby was born. I needed a break from the drama and time to figure out what it meant now that we had a baby on the way. The distance was meant to show him how serious I was and how serious I needed him to be.

My mom was already upstairs cooking breakfast in the kitchen, so I hauled my big belly out of bed and called Kerrie back. She picked up on the first ring. She didn’t say hello. She just said, “Derek died in a car wreck last night.” I don’t remember much else about the conversation—what I said, what she said. I only remember that one sentence. I can still hear her saying it, even now, years later.

Derek died in a car wreck last night
.

I got off the phone and tried to calm down, but my mind was racing. Derek was the father of the baby I was carrying inside me. He was my first love, my only true love. We hadn’t spoken in more than two months, but I had still believed we had a future together—me, him, and our baby, as one happy family. It’s every teenage girl’s dream, right? You meet a boy, you fall in love, and then one day you have a family and grow old together, happily ever after. ‘Til death do us part.

Now Derek was gone forever, and so was my happy ending.

At breakfast I sat quietly, trying not to choke on my cereal. It must have been obvious that something was wrong, because my mom brought up my phone ringing in the middle of the night. She asked if it was one of Derek’s friends trying to get hold of me. She knew that his friends were sending me messages on the computer, which I kept ignoring.

“Is Derek trying to start more issues?” my mom asked. She didn’t wait for me to answer and just launched into her usual string of derogatory comments about him. She hated Derek; she was furious that I was pregnant with his baby and wanted him to stay out of my life.

Usually, I just ignored what my mom had to say about Derek, but this morning, of all mornings, I couldn’t take it. I yelled, “He’s dead!” and ran upstairs to my room.