My Sweetest Escape (26 page)

break room. I am not, nor will I ever be, the

kind of girl who would do that.”

“That wasn’t… I never thought you

were…”

This thing had spiraled out of control,

and I was starting to get a little pissed. Why

in the hell did he have to be so freaking

frustrating?

“Look, Jos. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry

about…everything.

You’ve done nothing wrong. It’s all on

my side, and I wish I could just snap my

fingers and take it all back.” With that, he

strode by me, opened the door and shut it,

leaving me to wonder what the hell I’d

gotten myself into and how I was ever going

to get out of it.

Of course in all the confusion I had

completely forgotten about the party and

the fact that Dusty was coming to it. Instead

of potentially causing a big deal, I snatched

Hunter’s phone and scrolled through his

contacts and memorized Dusty’s number

before Hunter could notice. He was too

busy making googly eyes at Taylor, so I was

pretty much in the clear.

I wrote and deleted five messages

before going with one.

R U still coming tonite? This is Jos.

I felt like a moron, putting the identifier

at the end, but I didn’t want him to think

the message was from some random

person. I stared at my phone and waited for

a response. He was still at work, but I had

the feeling the cell phone policy at Bull

Moose was pretty lax.

Yes. I promised Renee I would. See you

later.

The words were blank and emotionless.

I couldn’t see his face to know if he was

smiling when he wrote them, but intuition

told me that he was either mad at me,

himself or both. If only he’d used a winky

face, I would have known he was joking. But

then again, Dusty didn’t seem like the kind

of guy who would use a winky face via text.

I typed out two letters and sent them.

OK.

“Are you sure you still want to do this?”

Renee said, coming up for air after studying

all day for an exam on a subject I couldn’t

even pronounce, let alone begin to

understand.

“I mean, I bought a dress, and Hannah is

all for it. I talked her out of her Carrie plan

by telling her that the best revenge was

living well. So now her plan is to look hot

and dance and have a good time to shove it

in their faces. We’ll see if it works. They’ll

probably be far too drunk to notice, but I

don’t think that will matter,” I said.

She sat down next to me at the dining

room table, where I’d been reading the

latest assignments for English from my

classmates. Most of them made me want to

gouge my eyes out. These people had no

respect for
their, they’re
and
there.

None at all.

“Has she ever told you what happened

to her? I mean, I can see that she’s had a lot

of reconstructive surgery. That’s why her

skin has that weird pattern on it. Skin grafts

from other parts of her body.” I knew that,

but I didn’t say anything.

“No, she just told me it was a long story.

Hannah’s the type of person who doesn’t

talk about something unless she wants to.

Reading between the lines it sounds pretty

horrific. Like one of those things you wish

you didn’t know. I’m sure she’ll tell me at

some point, but I’m not going to drag it out

of her. People keep secrets for a reason.”

“Like you, maybe?” She flipped my hair

over my shoulder, but I could see she

wasn’t mad. “I just wish you trusted me

enough to tell me.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to, or that I

don’t trust you.”

“Then what is it, Jos? We’ve been

through so much together.”

“I know, I know.” Trust had absolutely

nothing to do with it. It was more like…if I

told her, if I opened up that wound again, I

didn’t think it would ever close, ever heal.

It was better to put a bandage over it

and hope that it would heal on its own with

time. And besides, I should have this

wound. It was mine to bear.

She got up and put her arms around me,

resting her chin on my shoulder. “You know

that I love you, right? You’re my favorite

sister.” I put my arms up and hugged her

back.

“I know. You’re my favorite, too. Now

what do you want?”

She laughed.

“Nothing. I just felt like I needed to say it

since we didn’t when we were growing up.”

She was right. Mom and Dad and our

various stepparents hadn’t been big on the

affection.

That was probably why Renee and I had

such skewed views on love. It must be so

easy for those kids with two normal parents

that love each other to believe in the

existence of love.

Not that I believed it didn’t exist. Living

in a house full of couples who were crazy

about each other pretty much guaranteed

its existence. But was it only possible for

some people?

I mean, if love was so prevalent and real,

then why did so many people get divorced?

My parents had stood up with several

people each, claiming to love and honor

and all that forever and ever, and then

forever turned into yesterday. Were people

just wrong about love? Or did they just pick

the wrong people to love? How the hell did

you choose the right one?

“It’s a good thing to say,” I said, letting

her go as I went back to my homework.

There were only a few people on this planet

that I could really say that I loved, and one

of them was gone, and I could never tell

him again.

“Love you, big sister.”

I had to live the day, but I had to love it,

too. Just like he’d said.

This time I was allowed to do my own

makeup, but I had to borrow Renee’s and

Taylor’s again, since I still didn’t have my

own. Taylor had decided she was wearing

pants, but Darah and Renee went with

dresses so I didn’t feel too left out. Hannah

came over to get ready, and I watched as

Taylor, Darah and Renee gave her the

same treatment I’d gotten last time.

“Ouch!” she said as Taylor tried to

finger-comb Hannah’s hair.

“Sorry! I thought mine was bad, but this

is crazy. What do you use for conditioner?”

Hannah winced again.

“Coconut oil. It’s the only thing that

works.” Hannah and Taylor started

swapping hair tips and tricks as I lined my

eyes. I was doing a toned-down version of

the smoky look they’d given me for the

engagement party. For a moment, I was

back in my old life, doing my makeup every

day. I shook my head. I had to stop thinking

about that.

Once again, the guys were left waiting

downstairs, and I could hear them having a

loud and violent video game battle.

“I swear, it’s like they never grow up,”

Darah said as we came downstairs and the

guys were so wrapped up in their game

they didn’t notice at first.

“Maybe we should just go naked,”

Taylor said loudly.

“But then we might get cold,” Renee

said, just as loud.

Every single male head snapped around

at the word
naked.

It was like they were trained or

something.

“Hopeless,” Taylor said. “You’re all

completely hopeless.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault,” Hunter said. “If

you didn’t look so good naked, I wouldn’t

be thinking about it. All the time.”

“What he said,” Mase said as Darah

glared at him.

Dusty got up slowly, as if he didn’t want

to join us. Or maybe he didn’t want to join

me. I’d seen his head turn along with the

others, though.

“You all can just keep it in your pants,

thanks,” Hannah said, putting her coat on.

“I have some revenge to get to.”

We ended up taking three cars, just in

case someone needed to bail and to make

sure no one got stranded. I rode with

Hannah and Dusty, and this time, I made

her take the front seat. It meant that I saw

Dusty’s eyes sparkling in the rearview

mirror frequently, but at least I didn’t have

to be within touching distance of him. He’d

been mostly silent, and hadn’t even

commented on the dress I was wearing.

Hannah chattered away to fill the

silence, and I reminded myself to thank her

later. I hadn’t given her complete details on

the Dusty situation, but she was smart

enough to read between the lines. Plus, she

was a bit distracted by her upcoming plan.

Dusty was still vague on the details.

“It’s like in
Legally Blonde,
when these

girls tell Elle the party they invite her to is a

costume party, but it’s not and she shows

up dressed like a Playboy bunny and then

she just acts like she meant to do it,” she

said. As if Dusty had ever seen that movie. I

would die of shock if he had.

“Didn’t they do that in Bridget Jones,

too?” I said.

“Yeah, they did. Huh.”

“So shouldn’t you be in a bunny

costume?” Dusty said.

“No, you are completely missing the

point,” Hannah said, frustrated. “Oh, in

Pretty Woman,
when she gets treated like

crap by those women in the clothing store,

and then she goes back after she’s cleaned

up and gotten new clothes and shoves it in

their faces.”

“Isn’t that the one where she’s a

hooker?” Dusty said.

Hannah threw her hands up in

frustration. “Can you focus for two

seconds? My God, I swear all you guys have

a direct line from your brain to your dicks.”

“Who says we don’t?” I saw a shade of

the Dusty I’d known, pre–kitchen incident.

Hannah just grumbled the rest of the

way. Of course, there was literally no place

to park that was within range of the house,

so we ended up parking in the lot by the old

steam plant that still churned out disgusting

air that you always smelled when you were

on campus and within wind range.

“You sure you can walk in those?” Dusty

said as we got out. The heels I’d gotten

weren’t that high, but I didn’t plan on

having to trek from the parking lot to the

house.

“I’m fine,” I said, stepping in front of him

and taking Hannah’s arm. We walked in

step away from the car, seeing the rest of

our gang all hanging out by their cars.

Renee pulled me and Hannah aside.

“If I catch either of you drinking, or

doing anything that you wouldn’t do in

front of your grandmother, I will make you

regret it. I have scalpels, and I know how to

use them.

Understood?”

We both nodded.

“Okay, let’s get this over with,” Renee

said, and Paul offered her his arm.

“Your sister is hella scary sometimes,”

Hannah whispered to me as we fell in line

behind the rest of the group. Dusty was last,

behind us. He looked like he’d rather be

eating glass while simultaneously getting a

colonoscopy.

“Tell me about it. She’s gotten worse

now that she knows all this medical stuff.”

I was shocked the party hadn’t gotten

broken up already, because it was so loud

you could feel the bass beat in your chest

from a half mile away. It only got worse the

closer we got.

By the time we were standing in front of

the house, I was second-guessing my

willingness to go along with this. I’d been to

plenty of wild parties, and if my past

experience was any indication, this was a

rager. I hadn’t been around one of these in

quite a few months. In fact, I barely

remembered the last one. It was a wonder I

hadn’t gotten raped, or had anything else

happen to me, but Kelly and Mac had

always looked out for me, and if things got

crazy, we usually went back to his place and

just drank with his friends. I’d gotten a few

texts from her, but I’d ignored them.

“You ready for this, Han?” Her arm had

tightened on mine the closer we’d gotten,