My Stupid Girl (8 page)

"Uh, NO! I just GOT here!" She
shrieked at me.

I looked down at my lap, trying not to show
the look of pure pleasure that had exploded on my face. I was grinning like an
idiot.

"Mike and I broke up last week."
I ditched the looking-down thing. I couldn't hide the fact that I was
delighted.

"So, how late is too late?" In
the back of my head was the knowledge that, no matter when we left, I also had
the whole hour car ride back to Kalispell with her. I was floating about five
miles up on good vibes alone.

"It’s the weekend, I can stay out as
late as I want." She was bouncing on my bed, like she was bored out of her
mind with this conversation. I hoped that she wasn't thinking of asking me what
we should be doing, because I had absolutely no idea what there was to do in
this town. Every day that I’d been here had been the same schedule, which
involved sleep, school, home, and repeat.

"Ooh! Let’s go to the
lighthouse," she said, standing up and walking over to my closet.
"Can I wear this?"

She pulled my jacket out of the closet and
held it up for me to see what she was asking for, put it on without a response
from me, then opened my drawer to find some socks. She looked completely
comfortable walking around my room, like we were the best of friends. Or like
she lived there.

"Yeah," I shrugged. With each
layer her clothes kept getting baggier and she kept getting cuter.

"Yes to the jacket, or to the
lighthouse?"

"Both. But what’s with the
lighthouse?" I went to my closet and put on a few long sleeved shirts.

"I’ve heard that the stars look
amazing from there. It’s like a local tourist attraction." She was beaming
at me. “You really don’t get out much, do you?”

"It’s raining," I said, pointing
to the window.

"Oh, bah humbug, Mr. Grinch!"

I laughed. "Should we go out the
window or the door?

She tightened the jacket around her chest.
"The door I think. I'm not climbing out and risking getting eaten by that
dog." She smacked my shoulder. “Since no one will PROTECT ME.”

I grinned again and started walking toward
the bedroom door.

"Your grandma won’t care that I was in
here?" She said, looking cautiously at my closed door.

"I doubt it; she’s out bowling with
some friends. And, what? You’re worried about my grandma? You’re an hour away
from home in a strange boy’s bedroom. Your parents won’t care that you were in
here?"

Her lips went to one side and she shook her
head at me like I was totally over-reacting. But then I thought it was probably
too late for either of us to even care about this kind of thing. The same
thought must have occurred to Lucy, because she looked at the clothes she had
on, and looked out the window she had just made me rescue her from, and
laughed. She laughed so hard that she had to sit down on my bed again. She was
overflowing with joy. It was contagious.

I felt her passion for life when she
laughed like that, and I wanted more. I had never been around anyone who saw
the funny in random situations; who wanted to go look at the stars, even though
there were none out. Someone who didn't care what she looked like but beauty
still seeped from every pore. It was like she had a blessing or charm on her
that I couldn't see, but it was just there. She reached for my hand and caught
it before I could plunge it into my pocket. She was quick.

"It’s dark; lead the way." She
gave me a nudge and we took off, me walking her through the quiet house. I could
have turned the lights on, I guess. As we got to the front door, we realized it
wasn't raining anymore, but now it was freezing.

"Geez, let’s get in the car and put
the heater on!" She stepped in front of me and dragged me to my car. It
occurred to me that I should be opening the door for her; I’d never done this
before. I opened the door for the beautiful girl and waited until all limbs
were completely in the car before I shut it. Win.

I walked slowly around to the driver’s
side, taking a few deep breaths to pull myself together. I saw her fingers
flipping up the lock and opening my door from the inside. Another win. I nodded
thanks at her, sat down, and turned the car on. She turned the heat up to the
highest possible setting the second the engine started.

"We should let the car warm up for a
minute, first," I explained to her, turning down the dials.

"That’s what my dad always says."
She frowned at the front dash like it wasn't doing its job fast enough. I
smiled at her; she was very impatient.

The lighthouse was only ten miles away. The
interior of the car had just started warming up when we spotted the dark column
(which hadn’t been used in decades) jutting out of the landscape. We winded
down a long road in the middle of a big open field. I parked in front of the
giant pillar. We discussed a plan of action and, on the count of three, ran out
of the car and headed straight for the door at the base of the tower. Lucy
flung it open so we could rush inside. It was dark and dry and infested with cobwebs.
It smelled like dirt and mold.

"Charming," I said into the
darkness.

"Wow, look at those stairs.” We both
stood in silence for a minute, contemplating the spiraling staircase that rose
to a little pin of natural light at the top. “Are we supposed to walk up the
whole way?" She bent her head back, stepping back a few steps,
exaggerating the height. Her hair fell like a waterfall behind her, cascading
toward the ground. Be still my heart. I wasn’t even looking at the stairs. She
looked over at me and caught me staring at her. I looked down quickly and made
sure my hair was in the right place, firmly in front of my right eye. Speaking
was what I needed to break the mood. Speech with blistering sarcasm.

"I'm assuming the stairs are the way
to go. But wait!”

She looked at me expectantly.

“Did we miss the elevator?!"

She just smiled and I felt her hand go in
mine. I didn't even try to put it in my pockets this time, I just went with it.
She pulled me up seven flights of stairs.

We didn't talk, just walked and walked and
walked up until we couldn't go up anymore. Blocking our way at the top was a
broken down door that would only open half way. We squeezed through it out into
a big sky with a million stars.

"See! Stars!" She nudged my
elbow, bouncing excitedly. I nodded at her. I was excited too, but I just
patted my hair down again. I suddenly realized I was wearing my glasses. I’d
forgotten to put my contacts in before I left the house. She hadn’t said a
thing. I kind of liked that.

We walked to the railing and she leaned up
against it, linking our arms together and forcing me to stand right next to
her. I didn't like her on this side of me, the right side, but I didn't want to
bring attention to it so I just let it go. She felt warm with her arm against
me. Her hand rested on top of mine and I felt her head settle on my shoulder.
We stood there in silence for a long time. It wasn’t awkward silence. I didn’t
feel like I had to be talking. I was perfectly at ease in this moment. I put
the side of my face down on top of her head and felt her breathe in, like she
was about to talk.

"My mom told me why you had to go live
with your Grandma," she said quietly into the sky. I sighed deeply and
picked my head back up. Was nothing a secret in that town?

"Yeah?" I took my hand out from
under hers and folded my arms, leaning against the railing with my elbows. She
didn't fight my hand, but kept our arms locked tight. I willed her to give it
up and go back to the peaceful silence.

"Are you ok?" She was looking at
me through my curtain of hair.

"I'm fine." Come on. Leave it
alone. She was quiet for a moment and I thought I was free.

"Is this the first time you were taken
away from your Dad?"

I sighed, but I could hear honest concern
in her voice. No point in avoiding talking about it, she probably already knew
anyways. I sat down, my legs hanging over the edge, between the bars. Lucy
settled beside me, nestling her head back onto my shoulder.

"No; when I was nine I got taken away
for a couple of years. I went to live with a foster family in Kalispell. They
were pretty nice." I answered in a robotic tone.

"How come you got taken away?"
Her voice was still really soft.

"When I was nine?" I asked,
knowing exactly what she meant, I was just stalling.

"Yeah, when you were little. What
happened?"

"My dad, he’s pretty physical when he
drinks but this particular time he punched me hard enough to pop a blood vessel
in my eye and opened up some skin. Honestly, I don't think he even remembers
doing it. But my teacher saw it the next day at school and called CPS."

"But you went back to live with him,
right? That means he actually tried to get you back. So he must have wanted you
enough to change, right?" She sounded like she was trying to find the
positive in the situation.

"Yeah, I guess. I think he felt badly
enough to try to fix it. After that he kept to himself for a long time,
probably afraid he would do the same thing again." I could feel her arm
tighten around mine. It felt safe. Silence again, for a little bit. But then
something else occurred to her.

"Why didn't you go live with your
grandma the first time?" She asked.

"I think it was because she is old and
a little strange," I told her, smiling. “They wanted me to go with a young
family that had other kids. But it didn't do much for my social awkwardness,
even though I'm sure that’s what they were hoping for."

"But they are letting you live with
her now because you’re older and you can pretty much take care of
yourself?" She sounded like she was figuring it out.

"Yeah, I'm guessing. She is a very
nice woman. I think she and my mom were a lot alike." My voice trailed
off. I realized too late that I had opened up a new can of worms.

"What happened to your mom?"
Lucy’s voice was almost a whisper. I waited a minute to answer. Lucy didn’t say
anything else; she just waited with me.

"She died when I was a few months old.
I have no memory of her at all, but anyone who knew her tells me how great she
was." She turned her head as I looked over at her. I gave her the best
smile I could muster up. It wasn’t an un-honest smile, more of an apologetic
smile. There wasn’t a whole lot to say about my mom. Lucy returned my
half-hearted grin with tender eyes then turned her gaze back up at the stars.

"What about you?“ I hoped I didn’t
sound like I was trying to get the conversation off myself, even though I was.
The beautiful girl next to me smiled and took a deep breath.

"Well, I'm an only child. My parents
are still married." She looked up in the air like she couldn’t think of
anything else.

"What are you parents like?" I
asked her, which prompted that obnoxious laugh again.

"They are total opposites, the pair of
them. My mom is really fun and artistic. She is kind of messy but tries really
hard to be a good mom and wife. My dad is really strict, a straight arrow, but
he is very kind and gracious. He is super quiet.” She paused, and the next
words came out in a rush, like she wanted to get them out, “you remind me of
him actually." She turned her face towards me again, boring holes in my
eyes.

"Opposites attract." I said
stupidly, hoping that she knew I was talking about her parents.

"It seems that way a lot of times,
doesn’t it?" Her head returned to my shoulder when she spoke. "I want
a marriage like they have. They balance each other out so well. It seems where
one is lacking the other is strong."

"You are like your mom." I said
to her.

"Yeah, that’s what everyone
says." She beamed at me like I’d given her the biggest compliment of her
life, which was kind of funny. If someone told me I was like my dad I would
probably punch them in the face.

Which, in hindsight, would make them
correct.

"How come you and ‘pretty boy’ broke
up?" I attempted to ask casually, trying to make it seem like it had just
occurred to me. Like I hadn’t been thinking about it all night long. I could
feel her frown, even though she didn’t move her head.

"Ahh, well, you know. People grow
apart. You realize you want different things. Yada Yada Yada." She spoke
quickly, in a rush, like I had hit a nerve. “Besides, isn’t that a little
hypocritical, calling him a ‘pretty boy’?”

“What, what? Why?” I hoped she didn’t
consider me a pretty boy. 

“Nothing.” She said, turning her head up at
me with a sly smile. It was really unfair that she could be so maddening and
strikingly precious all at the same flipping time. I decided to ignore her
latest jab, and tried to continue with my own line of questioning. It was only
fair.

"You two seemed like a good fit."
I wasn’t managing to hide the bitterness in my voice and I knew it.

"Why? You think we belong together
because we’re both popular? Because we both have the same friends and share
similar beliefs?" Her voice sounded flat, and her shoulder was kind of
stiff like she was feeling squeamish. But I honestly liked seeing more than the
squeaky, fun bubbles in her personality. It made her real. It wasn’t all
sunshine and unicorns and sparkles. At least not ALL the time.

"Yep!" I said, "that’s
exactly what I thought."

"Well, you’re wrong, David." She
glared at me, giving my arm a little slack for the first time since we’d sat
down. "I don’t want someone in my life that just looks the part. I want
the real deal!" She looked deep into my eyes. All noise suddenly got shut
out, like I had been plunged underwater. My stomach did about six somersaults
at that look, without my permission. It took me a minute to get the next words
out.

"So, what are you doing here with
me?" I couldn’t help but ask. This whole night seemed like a contradiction
to me.