My Stupid Girl (56 page)

“
The
truth is, Lucy saved my life one day, at a lake where she was ice skating.” I
reached my hand out to her and she grabbed onto it. “She had fallen into that
frozen lake and I wanted to help her. At one point, I had to let go so I could
get a better grip, and she begged me not to leave her.” Tears were actually
running down my face, now. Lucy’s hand squeezed mine. She was crying, too.

“
I
knew, in that moment, that I wasn’t ever going to leave her. Either we were
both getting out of there or we were both going down, together.” I put my hand
over my heart and repeated what I had said earlier, looking straight at my
wife. “Lucy, you saved my life that day.” I dropped the microphone on the
table, and scooped her up in my arms, holding her against me in an embrace that
I wanted to spend the rest of my life perfecting.

It was true, every single word. We had been
up and down in our relationship, both of us alternating between drowning and
rescuing, both of us trying to keep the other afloat. We hadn’t done it on our
own – we had been afforded a huge amount of grace.

I buried my face into Lucy’s neck and offered
some silent thanks for her, for my family, and my friends. My old life was
gone, and my new life had officially begun.

31. LUCY

I sat in the middle of the large theater with my
dress half way up my right thigh and Isaiah yelling at David to take my garter
off with his teeth. I couldn’t help but laugh, even though I already knew he
would never, in a million years, do something like that. Even the suggestion
looked like it was causing him some kind of physical pain. He shot a look at
Isaiah, the usual daggers that said “I hate you.”

It really was the most adorable, amazing
thing when David was embarrassed. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity so I hiked
my dress up a little bit higher. His silent laugh rolled through his shoulders
but didn’t escape from his tightly closed mouth. He quickly reached up and
pulled my garter off.

His fingers were rough and stained with
chalk from what was now constant sketching and drawing. They were strong, with
a few calluses: worker’s hands. The trail his fingernails left on my leg as he
pulled the garter from my calf itched. My husband stood up, looking like he had
defeated our attempts at embarrassing him, and looped the little piece of lace
around his finger a few times. Then he winked at me.

My heart gave a little flutter, filling my
stomach with butterflies. The David of today was so different from that
seventeen-year-old boy I had been so obsessed with. That boy was unsure,
insecure, and untrusting of anyone, especially himself. No one had been able to
see what I had seen in that boy, but I remember clearly the passion I saw in
his eyes when we were alone. That longing to break free of whatever prison he
was forced into. His heart was so pure for being so broken that I had to know
him. I had seen his potential, the man he could become. And now a man even
greater than I had imagined was standing in front of me.

Now, today, a twenty year old man who was
confident and sure of himself was winking at me. He embraced his shy side and
brought out that passion for life that I had always suspected, and that he had
kept hidden for so long. I still had no idea how I had snagged him, in the end.
My actions did not merit one bit of the goodness that was on my plate these
days. It was purely God’s grace that I was so lucky; I was more sure of that
then I was of anything else. As I pondered how little I had done to get myself
here, and how much a higher power had blessed me, David squared up for the
garter-toss.

He turned his back to all the single men
who had gathered out on the dance floor. With one giant swoop, he flung it over
and behind his shoulder. It landed perfectly in the middle of the group. For
David, it was effortless for him to be so dead-on every time he tried to do
something. There was a mad dash for the tiny lacy thing and then up came
Johnny, looking like he had won the lottery, swinging my garter above his head.

“
It’s
your turn.” David helped me up out of my chair and kissed me on my nose. I
wanted so badly for this whole shindig to be over with so I could spend some
time alone with him.

Evelyn ran the “spare” bouquet over for me
to throw. I wound my arm up three times, then flung the little bundle full
force into the crowed. It went completely over everyone’s heads. The entire
group of girls backed up to catch it. It was so funny to see everyone
scrambling around, trying to be the final victor. I had to sit down from
laughing so hard.

One of David’s cousins caught it; she
paraded around with it over her head. The wedding photographer got a picture of
Johnny and the Cousin together and took a picture of them holding their prizes.
I looked over at David, who was fidgeting with his watch and doing his nervous
hair pat thing he did.

I was always a little bit mesmerized when I
watched him fiddle with his intensely pitch-black hair; it was like pure silk
that fell around his face in waves.

“
You
okay?” I asked, coming up from behind him and putting my arms around him.

“
I’m
definitely okay,” he said, smiling at me, the right side of his lip going up
farther than his left. “It’s almost time for us to leave.” He looked over my
head, probably at nothing. I giggled nervously and he turned his attention back
to me to kiss my nose.

“
What?”

“
Nothing,
just excited.”

“
So
am I,” he spoke quietly, patting the hair on the back of his head again. I
hadn’t seen him do that in a long time; he was nervous. His amazing face wasn’t
giving anything away, as usual, but I knew him well enough by now to know when
he was over-thinking something. His eyebrows would meet in the middle and his
thin top lips would tighten around the edges. All that was happening, as he
looked everywhere but at me, and I stared straight at him. I buried my head in his
shoulder.

“
What
are you thinking about?” I whispered into his ear and I felt his body relax in
my arms.

“
You.”

Oh heavens, was this party over yet?

“
Girl,
it’s time for you guys to go!” Jennika came up to me with Lydia in her arms.
She looked panicked, like if we didn’t leave right on time something was going
to explode.

She and David were perfect for me, two
perfectionists. I grabbed Lydia out of Jennika’s arms and held on to my baby
girl tightly, feeling a rush of guilt that I was going to be leaving her for a
few days. She hugged me back and kissed my cheek. I felt the saliva from her
teething mouth drip down to my ear. I wiped it away and held her little hand up
to my face. This girl was such a miracle. To think that her father, her birth
father, wanted me to just abort her. And then, when I thought of how incredibly
difficult it would have been to raise her alone. Thank God for David, he had
wanted her before I had even made up my mind, but he had talked it over with me
like it was the most important thing in the world to both of us. He had wanted
us to make the right decision more than even wanting Lydia to be in our lives.

He was such an amazing father. From day
one, Lydia was his daughter. He never believed any other thing, and neither did
she. He was the most selfless person I had ever met in my life. And, as much as
he had changed, that one thing about him had always been consistent. I wanted
to be like him.

“
How
you doing?” David asked me, putting his big hands on Lydia’s brown curls.

“
I
feel awful for leaving her!”

“
Me
too, but she’ll be okay with your parents for two days. She probably won’t even
know we’re gone.” He smiled wryly, and was right. She was so independent. I
don’t know where she got it, but she was perfectly happy being passed around,
and having sleepovers at her grandparents’, and having some random person at
church holding her.

I kissed her and handed her back to Jennika
who left, making me feel like the worst mother in the world. Not even the
prospect of what that evening might have in store made me feel better about
leaving Lydia. I felt David’s hand slip into mine and he raised it, kissing the
wedding ring he had given me, the one that had belonged to my grandma Lucy. She
had also been married to a David. They had been my mother’s parents and I
wished they could have seen this, and that they could have met my pretty little
Goth boy.

Isaiah, Johnny, and Evelyn ushered us up to
the wings of the theater, to a large box seat that must have been for
presidents when this place was open for shows. It was a level higher than
everyone else in the room, and a perfect place to make our escape without
having to say a separate goodbye to all of them. We waved happily to the crowd
and they cheered and waved back.

I felt an adrenaline rush and my sorrow
about Lydia melted away when I saw everyone waving and clapping. Isaiah and
Johnny had raced back down and were now wolf calling and heckling us.

We left the theater from the special exit
for whoever was important enough to sit in that box. Our limo, already packed
with our bags, drove us to the hotel room that David’s father had gotten us for
the evening. It was on Big Mountain, and had a fireplace, a Jacuzzi outside,
and a giant living room and bedroom. It was one of the nicest places in this
town.

I started bouncing up and down in my seat,
unable to contain my excitement about being David’s wife. It was like time had
finally slowed down enough for me to really realize it. It had finally
happened! We were married!

I turned around and took a long at him,
realizing that I hadn’t acknowledged him in a while, just being in my own
little Lucy world, but he looked perfectly content. I guess he was used to me
spacing out and doing or saying anything on my mind.

He looked like he was deep in thought
again, anyway. His green eyes brightened when I looked over at him and he
opened his arms for me to come and snuggle. When I obliged, he put his arm
around my shoulder and I felt his cool lips press against the top of my head. I
thought about mentioning that there was a privacy glass, and we were married,
but he started talking before I let that thought go any farther.

“
I’m
freaking out right now, Luce.” He held me tightly so I couldn’t get up and look
him in the face. I knew that he had been worried about our wedding night, but I
wasn’t sure why. If only he knew how much I wanted to be with him his worries
would disappear and be exchanged with deep blushing and absolutely adorable
stammering. Then that would send me into a complete frenzy and the night would
really get going.

“
I
am, too,” I said, feeling stupid, acting like the blushing bride. Was I allowed
to act that way? I felt that way. But I also felt like I didn’t deserve this
night and this amazing man who was determined to respect me and keep his word.

“
Come
on, I’m counting on you to be my hyper girl and not let me have time or energy
to feel self-conscious.”

“
I’ll
do my best,” I said, feeling a shot of excitement. I rested my head against his
chest, giving up on trying to look at him. A familiar love song came on the
radio; it filled the car with a calming melody. To my great pleasure, David
started harmonizing with it. I wanted to melt against him. I loved the sound of
his voice. It was deep and raspy, such a contradiction to his delicate
features.

There was no other way to put it, but David
was a pretty boy. He had a narrow face that went down to a perfect point at his
chin. His green eyes were deep, like they could see through to your very
thoughts. They were surrounded by thick eye lashes. The lashes weren’t long,
but there had to be hundreds of tiny little black strands, like he could lose
ten a day for the rest of his life and he would still have a ridiculous amount.
His skin was a golden tan, a natural tan. He wasn’t one to go out sunbathing; I
imagined if he was fond of the sun he would almost look Hispanic in the
summers. I felt his thick chest rise and fall with the words he was singing to
me.

His strong arms were still holding me down
so I couldn’t turn around. I pinched his leg and he released me easily. Then he
smiled at my dumb expression.

“
What?”
he asked me, looking around like someone had said something that he hadn’t
heard.

“
I
was just thinking that if you had been raised by my parents, you probably would
have been the preppiest guy in high school!”

“
Now,
why would my new wife say such mean things to me?” He glared, which made me
laugh.

“
Well,
you’re gorgeous, you can sing, you can dance, you’re all artistic… You would
probably have been walking around with those baggy pants, tight shirts, and a
hoodie, a knit cap under, and two hundred dollar shoes.”

“
That
outfit sounds awesome, actually.” He put his hand at the base of my neck. What
was I saying? Oh, preppy husband, but before I could continue teasing him I realized
that the car was slowing down and parking in front of our hotel. David stepped
out of the limo, holding the door for me and grabbing my hand to help me out.

“
We
should have changed,” he growled in my ear. I looked around and saw that
everyone was looking at us, the obvious bride and groom arriving at their hotel
room.

Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge.

I could only imagine what David was feeling
right now. He looked like someone just hit him with a Mack truck. He grabbed
our little overnight bag and then literally drug me to the front desk, where he
hurriedly gave them our name so we could get our key.