My Star (12 page)

“Oh, I don’t know.” Kurt blushes and removes his hand. “I think I did what anybody would’ve done.”

“Nobody ever did anything like that for me before.” I caress his cheek.

“It’s okay.” Kurt starts tampering with the control board.

I know that the conversation is over. I went too close.

But what about the kiss, then? He kissed me back at the Apollo. Did that mean that he liked me?

I’m at a loss for answers. The only thing I know is that I don’t understand men. It’s like they’re an alien species, when it comes to intimate relationships. Or is it just me? Do other women understand men better than I do? I just know that I don’t understand... and I know that I’m not supposed to speak openly to him about it either. That will only make it more awkward, if he’s not sure of his intentions, or isn’t interested like that at all. I’m better off just biting my tongue, and trying to turn off my brain. How peaceful life would be without my head constantly churning thoughts over. Yes, an amputation from the neck up would bring me peace and calm... LOL!

I’m dozing off, when Kurt wakes me up.

“The station is coming up. Just in time. We’re running out of fuel fast.”

“It looks deserted.” I notice there are bits of what looks like junk and trash floating in the space around the station too. Highly disorderly and not up to standards.

“I wonder if it’s an ambush.”

“Honestly, I wouldn’t think myself as significant to Captain Alvah or anybody else in E-corp that they’d mobilize the entire station.”

“Sure. And they know that in this pod we’re unarmed and ripe for the picking. We’re defenseless, and it wouldn’t take much effort to confine us.”

Kurt makes a crash landing in the hangar. As far as elegance goes, we’re off the charts, but at least we make it in one piece... or two pieces, as we’re not Siamese twins.

The space station really is deserted. There’s not a single armed guard coming to hold us up. Not even a humming of conversations in the background. It’s like a ghost station. There’s no sign of the Apollo either.

“Where is everyone?” I feel the hair rise on my neck.

“Who knows? If there is anyone here, surely we don’t want to alert them of our presence—two deserters hijacking a spaceship. The sooner we get out of here, the better. So let’s just get a move on.” Kurt doesn’t seem the least creeped out by the deserted station. He starts rummaging the hangar for a ship that can take us home. But the hangar holds only small half-fueled vessels.

“None of these damned ships can take us anywhere but a fraction of the way back to Earth. Dammit!” Kurt splutters.

I’ve never seen Kurt frustrated like this.

“Can we take fuel from all the ships combined to fill up the tanks of just one ship?” I try to be helpful.

“Look at these ships! They’re all built purely for space travel—from space, in space, to space. Every single one of them will end up as charcoal when entering Earth’s atmosphere. We’ll only get to see Earth from a distance, before we’ll burn up alive!” Kurt wanders off at a hectic pace. His moves are abrupt and aggressive. I don’t need any interpretation to know which mood he’s in. Then he turns and yells back at me. “All the spaceships able to land on Earth are gone. They must all have left to go back to Earth. I’m pretty sure we’re alone here. All alone!” Kurt stomps through a large door, and disappears out of my view.

I reckon it’ll be a while before he’s back.

Then I see a notice screen on the wall flashing in red letters:
EVACUATE NOW
. Kurt was right—we really are alone on the space station. This might be the end of us. We didn’t want to end our days alone on The Virgin Planet. But if we can’t find a spaceship to get us out of here, we might still end our days alone on this deserted space station. Same same, but different, I guess. At least here, there are facilities to help you look and feel human and civilized again. Anyone not knowing where I’ve been, might mistake me for an alien with green skin—that’s how thoroughly green and dirty I am. I find a lavatory to freshen up and get the goo off my skin. I lock the door securely behind me. I allow myself the luxury of letting go of all worries and fears for a little while. Right now, there’s nothing else I can do. Besides, my mind seems to clearer in the presence of water—and I need fresh ideas on how to get us out of here.

I wash the green off my face in the sink. My skin looks surprisingly refreshed—as if I’ve grown 10 years younger. I can only presume that the green slime contains nutrients that work wonders as a rejuvenating facial mask. Perhaps I could start a business selling green slime facials for old rich ladies. I could call it “Pink Planet Purifying Plaster”

I enjoy watching myself in the mirror again—all fresh and poppy cheeked. Even my usually dull and flat hair looks all shiny and bouncy—and a little green. I pout and throw a kiss through the air at myself in the mirror. “I don’t know if he loves you... but... I love you.” It warms my heart to hear the words out loud. I feel light on my feet, lift my arms and my head high, and dance a few twirling steps. I’m still alive and in one piece. Right now, I’m okay.

Then it strikes me—what if I could get the Extra-Terrestrial Vessel going? Would that get us back to Earth in one piece? Is it even still here?

I rush out of the lavatory eager as a kid on Christmas morning. “Kurt! Kurt! Where are you?” I run down the empty echoing halls.

“I’m here. I’m here. What’s the matter?” Kurt sounds worried until he sees my lively face.

“Come, come.” I’m excited. I pull him along.

At first, I can’t find my way back to the tiny hangar holding the ETV.

“Where are we going?”

“Just bear with me please. I’ll find it eventually... if it’s still here.”

Finally, I open the right door, and the ETV. is still there.

“Holy moly!” Kurt sounds astonished.

I think I hear his jaw hit his chest. I’m happy and proud.

“I don’t know if it holds enough fuel, and I don’t know how to fly it. But perhaps you can figure all that out.”

I already know that I’m in the right joyful vibration to enter the ship, and sure enough, I slip right in. It almost feels like it’s too perfect. There’s nobody here to stop us. We can do exactly as we like. Kurt doesn’t follow me into the ship, so I slip out again to get him. My plan won’t work if he can’t enter the ship—I’m not leaving him here.

“You’ve got to relax. Wash away all dark thoughts from your mind. Feel peaceful, and know in your heart that you’re safe.”

Kurt tries again and again, but the entrance remains rock solid to him.

I can tell by his face that he’s about to explode from impatience, which isn’t helping.

“Hold my hands.” I reach out for him, and take his hands. “Breathe with me.” I take long deep breaths, and gradually slow down the frequency. Kurt follows my lead and seems calmer.

“Can you trust that everything will be fine?”

“Well...” Kurt is about to object, so I cut him off.

“Everything is fine right now. We’re alive, we’re whole, we’re together. Now trust that everything will stay fine.” I feel like I’m telling him off, and it doesn’t feel good. Perhaps I’m too impatient or too bossy—I’m open to that possibility. But I don’t see any other way right now, so there you go!

Kurt leans his head back and sighs. I feel his hands relax in mine, and I know that now is the time. Still holding his hands in mine, I reach for the entrance of the ETV, and this time we both slip right in.

“You can open your eyes now.”

“Whoa!” Kurt seems dazzled, as if he’s just arrived to a different dimension.

“Do you think you can fly this?”

“I’ll try.”

“I don’t know if it’ll get us as far as Earth, and I don’t know if it’ll even stand the descent through the Stratosphere.”

“Well, since we don’t have any alternative, why don’t we just give it a shot... and trust that everything will be fine.” Kurt looks at me with a peculiar expression on his face.

I can’t read whether he’s spiteful or jesting. I choose to believe the latter, and smile. “Well, Captain Kurt, you’re in charge—so let’s go then.”

“Hi-yo Silver!” Kurt sounds like a true prehistoric cowboy.

I crack up laughing.

Once Kurt finally gets the grip on how to maneuver the ETV, the small laboratory hangar is pretty much beaten to smithereens, and looks like the sorry ruins after a hostile attack from a vengeful enemy. Fortunately, the ship is a lot more resilient than the lab, and seems untouched by the numerous collisions.

It turns out, that whenever I rest my hands on Kurt’s shoulders or anywhere else on his body, his control over the ship dramatically improves. So I get to touch him all the way back to Earth... lucky me.

Now that we’re safely on our way back to Earth, I relax. And Kurt does too. The result is that we both get very tired, so we take turns sleeping. We also both get cold and flu symptoms, which is typical after a lengthy period of high pressure. That’s what happens when you push yourself to the limit. Business as usual.

After about ten days we’re both feeling pretty okay again—but what could’ve been ten days of romance and getting to know each other better, turned into nursing time. Still I feel it has brought us a little closer together, even if it’s in ways that are different from what I would’ve desired.

I wonder if we’ll stick together once we’re back on Earth again. Kurt hasn’t given me any verbal indications as to what his intentions are... if he’s got any at all.

“It shouldn’t be more than an hour or so before we get a visual of Earth.” Kurt is nicely relaxed.

That’s an extra bonus by being on this ship—everything controls so much better when you’re feeling calm and peaceful, so you’re induced to get yourself in that state of mind. Peace and calm. And once you get used to snapping out of negative thoughts and emotions as soon as you notice, and dive back into positive thoughts, you notice how you immediately start to feel better. I’m starting to get how it’s really me who’s in control of my feelings, not my feelings happening to me and controlling me... My feelings are a product of my thoughts, which again are a product of habit. So I’m changing my habit of thought for the better.

“I’m looking forward to having firm ground under my feet again, and fresh air in my lungs.” I smile and let my thoughts wander to a quiet place in the sun, where a mild breeze is caressing my face.

“You’ll get to enjoy all the earthly pleasures again, my dear, be sure of that.” Kurt squeezes my hand, and smiles at me.

“How do you mean?” My mind immediately takes his comment as a hint that I can have him if I want, but then it might not be what he means at all.

“Everything you want, you can have.” Kurt squeezes my hand again, and then takes his attention back to the controls of the ship.

“Everything?” I make my voice sweet and bedchamber-like, and lean towards him with a flirtatious smile trying to hint at what I would like.

“You just need to trust.” Kurt doesn’t respond to my flirtation, and answers rather matter-of-factly.

I give up. I don’t understand men. I’m prepared to throw myself at him. He can have anything that he wants from me. And yet he’s just sitting there behaving like we’re just colleagues. It frustrates me. I catch myself going on a train of negative thoughts, and start thinking of cute puppies tumbling around on a green lawn smelling like freshly cut grass. It’s all okay. He might not know how he feels about me yet. I don’t need to know now. I’m okay. I love me. I’m loved.

I feel myself relax again.

“We’ll enjoy life together. I’m not letting you out of my sight again. You’re with me now—just remember that.” Kurt looks at me, and sounds very serious and sincere. “But right now, I’ve got to get you home safely.” His tone lightens up, and he throws me a smile. Then he returns his full attention to controlling the ship.

Kurt is more of a man of action, than he’s a man of poetic words. I wouldn’t expect to be so lucky that Kurt ever declares his eternal love for me—but didn’t he just come very close?
You’re with me now
. Isn’t that like skipping the whole lovey-dovey courting, and jumping straight to commitment? Whoa! That’s fast. Is it perhaps a little too fast for my taste? Would I rather get used to a committed relationship in a gradual way, and ease into it? Am I even in love with him?

What am I doing? I’ve been yearning for him for a long time—and now it seems like I’ve got what I wanted, so just be happy! Goddammit! Kurt is a good man, and I’m lucky to
be with him now
. Even if it didn’t come out the way I dreamed it would, it’s all perfect.

Read on for a bonus preview of Book Two in the Star series

by Christine Gasbjerg

PROLOGUE TO BOOK TWO

siege

Everything feels almost too good to be true—I’m still alive after an attempt at killing me, Kurt saved me like a knight in shining armor, we’ve hijacked an alien vessel, we’re on our way safely back to Earth, we’re apparently an item now, and nobody’s chasing us. Can it really be that easy?

Suddenly lights starts flashing on the control board.

“What’s that? Are we running out of fuel?” I feel anxious.

“I’ve got no idea what it means, but I’m pretty sure that we’re not running out of fuel. Even if we were, we’re now so close to Earth, that we’d surely be picked up soon enough, and get hauled or escorted back to Earth.” Kurt is studying the control board trying to figure out why it’s flashing.

We’re just passing behind the Moon, and as Earth is coming into view, my heart skips a beat. I gasp. Earth is hanging in space in the distance, like a perfect blue and green gemstone. What appears to be a number of ships, are hanging around it in space, looking like hovering vultures, ready to attack.

“What the f...” Kurt sees it too. “Is Earth under alien attack?”

The control board stops flashing, and is now brightly lit up. The ship slows down and starts to move in a straight and even line towards Earth.

“I’ve lost control over the ship!” Kurt jerks every handle he can find on the control board—without result. “I can’t steer the ship anymore! Something else has taken over! They’re controlling us!” Kurt leaps to his feet, and points towards the ETV’s hovering around Earth.