My Star (10 page)

“Wow, you’re right. There are layers.” Kurt takes as clean a sample of each horizontal layer of gas as he can, with vacuum bottles. Vacuum bottles are decompressed and completely empty, so once you loosen the valve, they automatically suck in whatever gas or air is around. Kurt labels the containers individually.

Each layer looks like it’s separated by a thin veil-like sheet, so it’s pretty easy to see where one layer of gas stops and the next one starts. Below the sphere of gasses, the ground is dark, almost blood red.

“Are they all unbreathable gasses, or do you think one of them is breathable air containing oxygen?”

“I have never seen anything like this. I doubt there’s any oxygen. There would have to be oxygen for plants to grow and vice versa.” Kurt glances around. “But I don’t see any plants around.”

“Of course. You’re right. So unless we find variations of the surface with some kind of vegetation growing on it, there’ll be no oxygen. The ground does seem quite uniform around here. Should we go explore further away and look for variations?” I’m aware that my eagerness to go walk about is obvious.

Kurt smiles at me. “Let’s pick up samples on the way,” he says and starts walking.

In as fast a pace as the gravity field allows, we walk across the plain of the planet. We both collect rocks and minerals whenever there’s one that looks a bit different. It is indeed heavier to carry the samples on this planet, than it was on the asteroid.

After walking for a while, and filling our sample nets almost to the rim, we reach what appears to be a shallow crater. It looks as if a giant spoon has scooped off a spoonful, and left a soft round and curved hole in the planet. We carefully walk into it. There are different kinds of minerals to collect here. Some are glittering delightfully in different colors. Some are just white and transparent, like raw diamonds. Others are as black as I’ve never seen anything being black before. Blackened blackness black.

“For you.” Kurt looks surprisingly shy, and hands me a big rock of transparent white mineral as big as both my glove-covered hands.

“Is this a diamond?” I hold the rock up against the light to study it. I feel a little excited by the possibility that this might be a huge diamond of significant value. I know that there are a few minerals that are more valuable than diamonds, but they don’t have the air of romance like diamonds do. Diamonds follow expressions of love... And Kurt just gave me one...

“I think it is. I can’t say for sure just by looking at it with the naked eye. I’d have to examine it further to say for sure.” Kurt sounds casually interested.

“Are you giving me a diamond?” I look at Kurt, and wonder if this means what it normally does, when a guy gives a woman a diamond.

“It’s just a diamond—not a diamond ring... It’s for you... For being all you.” Kurt’s voice is tender and a little cryptic.

“Oh. Okay. Thanks. It’s beautiful.” I notice how it has a sparkling inner glow.

“It’s up to you whether you want to cut it to fit on a ring later on...” Kurt mumbles and quickly turns away from me to get on with collecting samples.

I don’t know what to make of this. Did he just almost ask me if I wanted to marry him? Is he that into me? Is he even in love with me? I’m just making assumptions here, and that’s not reliable facts. I need more tangible and reliable signs and actions from him to make an informed conclusion. He might just be playing around, and thinking he’s innocently being nice to a friend.

My sample net is already too full to hold this rock as well, so I carry it with my arms instead. Tedious, but I’m determined to take this rock with me no matter what hardship I have to endure.

“Are those black spots holes?” Kurt stops what he’s doing.

“I think so.” I start walking towards the closest one.

Sure enough, the lower parts of the crater further ahead is full of black holes.

When I finally reach the rim of the first black hole, it’s a lot bigger than I would’ve guessed from a distance. It’s about as wide as the height of an average human. It’s pitch black. Kurt walks up next to me.

“I wonder how deep it is.”

I kneel down to get a closer look. It’s so dark that I might as well have been looking into a black bottomless well. I reach my hand in there to check that it’s actually a hole and not just a big black spot on the ground. It’s not. My hand goes right in there without resistance, and goes pitch black too. I quickly pull my hand back up to check that it’s still there. It is. Funny how that scared me.

Kurt kneels down next to me, and takes a couple of samples of the air from the black hole.

Suddenly there are footsteps behind us.

“Lorenson.” Kurt sounds surprised.

It’s the last thing I hear before I black out.

*   *   *

I gradually regain consciousness, and find it difficult to orient myself. It’s pitch black around me, and I feel myself panicking. It’s not until I find a hazy grey circle to focus on, that I finally collect myself, and calm down. My helmet seems intact, although the visor is a bit smudged. I’m pretty sure that all my limbs are whole. I focus on the grey circle and try to stand up. When I get on my feet, I almost pass out again. I’ve got a tremendous headache.

I pause for a few moments, until enough blood has pumped to my head. I’m standing in one of the black holes. I’m just tall enough to stick my head up above ground level. I look around the hole, but there’s no sign of Kurt or Lorenson. I look in the direction of the ship, but can’t see anything.

“Hello?” I try.

I already feel that nobody will answer. I’m on my own.

Hopefully, I’ll make it back to the ship in time for take-off at least—even if I’m alone.

It’s an elaborate fight to get out of the hole. The suit inhibits my movements, and the big gloves prevent me from getting a firm grip on anything. It’s not until I figure out to stand on top of my full sample net, that I succeed.

Relief!

And now back to the ship! I move as fast as I can. I’ve left the samples behind. Not even the big ass diamond from Kurt is with me.

I try to figure out what happened, but I can’t get it straight in my head.

I follow our tracks back to the ship. There’s one set of tracks heading back to the ship as well. It looks like the person has dragged something alongside him, since there’s a wide brushed track next to the footprints. I assume the tracks show that Lorenson has dragged Kurt back to the ship. At least it means that Kurt’s back on the ship. I hope he is okay.

I follow the tracks all the way until they stop. They stop!?

Judging from the tracks and the surroundings, this is where we got off the ship. Our tracks have almost been blown away as well—indicating take off. I look up into space, but the vessel is nowhere to be seen. The ship is gone.

I’ve been left behind.

I feel panic and despair spread through my body. What can I do? I’m all alone on a pink inhospitable planet, without breathable air. There’s no way I can survive here. I might as well sit down and wait to die... so I do... I try to sit down right where the Apollo 56 landed and took off again without me. It’s not easy sitting down in the suit. Very clumsy. It makes me think of one of those big clumsy chicken suits that the human poster guys are wearing—in which they can hardly move, hardly breathe, and it’s a hundred degrees inside. That’s me! I’m the gal in a clumsy chicken suit trying to sit down... careful not to fall over like a toddler. I laugh a little at the image in my head, and then I cry. Tears of despair.

So Captain Alvah didn’t find me that valuable after all. I can’t say I’m overly surprised. At least I feel lucky to have come this far, and experienced what most people can only dream of. In a way, nothing is wasted. I’ve come a long way, and it’s okay.

I was reaching for the stars to find love and freedom to explore science. I reached the stars. I found the seeds of a new love, a different kind of love... for Kurt. And I got to do some science... a little. It wasn’t a lot. It didn’t amount to the great solution to the energy crisis that I dreamed of. I wish I could still do something now. But time is running out. Soon my oxygen will be gone, and I’ll die... suffocate... in just a little while...

I look at my meter. I’ve got enough air to last me another hour or so. I look down at myself—my suit is all smudged and green. It must be from struggling to get out of the hole. I feel like going back there. Back to the hole, back to the diamond that Kurt gave me. I assume it’s lying next to the hole, or perhaps in it. I might not ever have been married, but at least now, I can say that I got a big rock of love from a good man! And now I’ll die next to it!

There’s no rush to get anywhere. I might as well relax and let go of all anxiety. Be peaceful. Perhaps I can make my headache go away before I die. That would be a nice last accomplishment. I could also take another walk around the area to discover more new beautiful minerals. I feel indecisive. Walking around would make me spend the remaining oxygen faster. But then again, lying here, waiting to die isn’t a life-confirming choice either.

I close my eyes for a moment. In a minute I’ll get up and take one last walk around the pink planet—one last scientific exploration. Right now, I’m just bracing myself, relaxing every cell of my body, breathing deeply, resting my eyes and my thumping head.

Hello?

I abruptly open my eyes, and sit up. But there’s nobody around.

“Hello?” I try a reply anyway.

Do you hear me?

I realize it’s a voice in my head again. The light is back. It might not be much, but it’s still comforting to have some kind of company before I die.

Yes, I hear you. Nice to hear you again one last time.
I feel a tear pressing on from behind my eyes.

One last time?
The voice waits patiently for my answer.

I’m stuck on this pink planet, alone, and my oxygen is running out.

You need oxygen?
There seem to be genuine concern behind the question.

Yes. And a ship to take me home too...
The thought of someone coming by to pick me up in a ship full of oxygen is very appealing right now.

You say you are on ‘The Pink Planet’?

Yes... or to be more precise, it’s a planet that is red as blood, has a hazy layer of gasses around it, so at a distance it appears light red or pink, rather than red. There are lots of beautiful minerals and raw gemstones here too.
I look around and take in the view of the planet. It really is a beautiful place.

I see... Does it have dark holes?
Judging from the tone of the voice, it sounds like a plan is starting to form.

Oh yes, it has black holes too... do you know it?

Yes.

Have you been here?
I begin to feel a bit excited, maybe they can save me.

Yes. A very long time ago. Never mind that now. Go to the holes.

You want me to go back to the holes?

Yes.
A slight air of impatience penetrates the tone of the voice.

Why?
I’m rolling onto my belly to get up more easily. It’s still very clumsy, but it gets me on my feet quicker.

There’s oxygen in the air in the dark holes. Go there and you’ll have the oxygen you need. Mind you, I’ll lose you when you move away.

I freeze. I’m not ready to let go of my intangible friend just yet... my light in the darkness.

What will I do?
I feel panic starting to surface.

Just breathe the air in the holes.

Then what will I do?
I fight feelings of helplessness. It’s not time to be strong.

It’s up to you.
The voice sounds calm–like it’s just a piece of cake.

I look down myself. Of course! The green smudge is the clue! Oxygen is required for any kind of vegetation to grow. Where there’s even the smallest trace of vegetation, there’ll be oxygen. And most of the vegetation I know is green... why didn’t I think of that when I saw my green smudged suit? Hooray!

Will I speak to you again?
I still feel a little anxious to lose my companion already.

Perhaps. Go!
The voice sounds encouraging.

 I’m reenergized by the prospect of having access to oxygen, and get going in my clumsy chicken-suit-way... Humpty Dumpty bumbling over the red sandy surface of the pink planet. Yippie!

My gigantic love diamond from Kurt is still lying there, waiting for me, by the black hole I fell into. It makes me smile and feel warm, as if I’m rejoining a long lost friend.

I climb back into the hole, and turn off the oxygen supply to my suit. I hesitate for a moment. Do I really believe there’s oxygen here?

If there isn’t any oxygen, I’ll die. If I don’t try this, I’ll still die in a little while. What have I got to lose?

I touch the uneven sides of the hole, and stick my hand out of the hole into the light for one last check. It’s all smudged in a fresh green color—there are even little fragments of what might be plants. It seems plausible that there’s oxygen.

I loosen the transparent safety visor on the helmet of my suit. For the first moment, I can’t feel any difference. Then a terrible smell hits my nostrils. It’s so bad that my eyes water... It smells like gas. Or badass fart! I’m breathing fart!

I can already see the headlines—
Breathing Fart Saved Her Life!

But it’s breathable.

I’m so relieved I laugh out loud.

I notice that the air above all the holes is changing when it gets dark. As a scientist at heart, I experiment a little with breathing in the air above the holes too. It turns out that once it’s dark around me on the planet, I can get out of the hole, and breathe in the night air. Thus I can walk on the surface of the planet at night. I reckon it’s some kind of gravity field from space, that creates this ‘ebb and flow’ of breathable air. Like when the moon attracts the water on Earth—so does some moon or planet, that I can’t make out, attract the breathable air during the night, here on the pink planet. But of course, I’m only guessing. It might be something else that’s causing these tidal gasses. I just know how it works around me. Hence, I cannot breathe above the holes when it’s daytime—only at night.