My Misery Muse (8 page)

“Night, Devi, I’ll see you in the morning.”

I watched him walk away, brushed my fingers against my still swollen lips. “Night, Seth,” then turned around unlocked my door and went into my house.

Cris sat on my couch with a coffee cup in his hand, he looked up at me and I could see the pain flash across his eyes.  I hated seeing the pain he was in, I never meant to hurt him, I just couldn’t give him what he wanted, and I knew that more now than ever.

“I’m sorry Cris,” I whispered willing the tears back.

“It’s not your fault Dev, I always knew you didn’t love me, I was just hoping one day you would learn to,” he said. He cleared his throat, “I’ll be here if you need me, and if he hurts you this time he won’t  be able to hide far enough away.”

Cris left looking as dejected as I’d ever seen him; I slumped down in the chair and started to cry.

¯¯¯

Sitting outside Devi’s house trying to get my lust addled brain calmed down enough to drive home; I heard a tap against my window.  I glanced up and found Cris standing there, he looked like shit, his face drawn making him look years older than his 25, clothes wrinkled in a very un-Crispin like way.   I rolled down my drivers said window, “Hey Cris.”

“Don’t fucking hurt her this time,” he said then walked away.

I glanced back at Devi’s house and saw a light on in the living room. I knew Devi was inside and upset, it made me want to jump out of the car and hold her tight so nothing could ever hurt her again, but knowing Devi that wouldn’t go over well.  So instead, I turned on my car and drove away from the woman I loved.

I woke with smell of coffee filling the house and Jaks’ bubbly laughter from the direction of the kitchen; I glanced over and saw it was a little after 9am.  I grudgingly got out of my comfy bed to the bathroom to take care of morning necessities then headed to see two of my most favorite men in the world.

Drake glanced up when he saw me walk in, “Hey sis, long night, you look like hell?”

I walked over and gave Jaks a kiss on his forehead and ruffled his soft black hair. I looked over and saw my brother standing by the coffee pot, he handed me a cup of coffee which I gratefully took.

“Yea,” I answered.

He looked at me over the rim of his coffee cup, “You and Seth get things settled?”

“Kinda, still not sure what we will do when he leaves, but for now he wants to spend time with Jaks.”

“You’ll figure it out,” he said. “What about the two of you, work any of that out?”

“How was Jaks last night?” I said in a try to change the subject, because I still didn’t know what was going on there.

Drake chuckled at me, “He was good, stayed up late drinking beer and watching porn.”

I rolled my eyes at my brother and his typical response to that question.  I could see he wasn’t going to let the subject of me and Seth go though, so I was relieved when my doorbell chimed.  I jumped up in escape of my brothers questioning look.  I looked through the peep hole in the door and found Seth standing there looking as delicious as ever his hair rumpled like he just rolled out of bed. He ran his fingers through it, his jaw slightly stubble, the stud of his labret glinting in the sunshine, sunglasses hiding his grass green eyes under the dark lenses.  He was wearing in his typical style, a vintage Ramones shirt and a worn pair of 501’s that molded to his body perfectly.  I opened the door and couldn’t help the smile at seeing him; I was rewarded with one of his heart melting lopsided grins.

“Hi beautiful, what do we have planned for the day?” he asked, stepped up and brushed a kiss to my lips; before it could go any farther we were interrupted by Drake clearing his throat.

He looked over my shoulder to where Drake stood, then leaned back down and brushed another kiss across my lips while brushing his fingers down my neck.

“Hey Drake,” he said without looking away from my face.

“Hey man, so since you’re here does that mean I am off babysitting duty today?”

“I have to be in the shop at 1. I have an appointment at 1:30 today then another at 3, I should be done around 4,” I said.

“I was thinking about hanging out with the boys today, you interested Drake, we’re just going to be messing around writing some. I know they all want to see you,” Seth said.

I bit my bottom lip, not really liking the idea of Jaks hanging around with Seth’s band. Don’t get me wrong, I liked them all well enough, it’s just that I know them and they weren’t exactly the type of role models I wanted in my son’s life.  I looked up at Seth and found a smirk on his mouth; I could tell he knew exactly what I was thinking.

“Don’t worry, I told them to clean house before I come over,” he said. “I won’t let them corrupt Jaks, Devi.”

“It’s not that exactly,” I started but was interrupted.

Both Seth and Drake at the same time said, “It is that, Devi,” then they started laughing.

“Fine,” I said, “just keep an eye on them, and if he comes back smelling like pot I am going to kick both your asses.”

“Dev, have a little faith in me,” Drake said.

I looked back at my brother, and bit my bottom lip again; “Fine,” I said then went back to the kitchen.

“I told the guys we would be there around 11 or so, if that’s cool with you Dev?” Seth said walking into the kitchen, just then Jaks caught sight of him and gave a huge grin.

“Daddy!” he squealed.

“Yea that’s fine, his bag’s in the living room, do you want to come to the shop later or me go over to Xavier’s?” I asked.

“Why don’t you come over to Xavier’s, all the guys want to see you too.”

“Alright, I’ll head over when my appointment’s done, do you want to take the mini cooper and leave me your car?”

“Yea, guess so since I still don’t have a car seat. Maybe tomorrow when you’re off we can go get one, so we don’t have to keep on trading cars?”

“Yea, we can do that.” Seth gave me another chaste kiss, grabbed a squealing Jaks and headed out with Drake for their testosterone filled day.

¯¯¯

“So do the guys know about Jaks yet?” asked Drake.

One of the reasons I like Drake so much, he didn’t pussy foot around something, he just came out and said what was on his mind.

“Sam does, Max told him after he saw me in the shop. I haven’t told anyone yet, I wanted to wrap my head around the situation before I had to answer a lot of questions.”

“Makes sense,” he said. “So what did they say when you told them to clean up?”

“Xavier was a dick as always, but Sam told him to stop his bitching and do it. Xavier wasn’t happy about it but said he would.”

“I hope he did for your sake, or my sister will have your balls in a vice,” he replied and I knew he was right.

I pulled my phone from the console and called Sam to double check they were cleaning out the house. Beside me Drake chuckled, he and I both knew he wasn’t joking about my balls being in a vice.

We pulled up in front of the house Xavier had bought off his parents a few years ago. He’d had a lot of work done to the place since then, adding a studio in the back for when he was home.  I walked into the front door holding Jaks, and let out the breath I was holding, for once they did what they said they would.  All the beer cans were gone, the ashtrays were no longer littered around the room, even had windows open airing out the place, and most importantly whatever women had stayed the night before were nowhere to be seen.

I walked to the back of the house where I knew everyone would be congregated around the Xbox.  All my band was there as well as Max, Sam’s little brother and few other friends I hadn’t seen in years.

“Hey who’s winning?” I asked.

“Me of course,” said Alex our drummer without looking up.

Sam looked over at me and smiled, “So this is Jaks, huh, poor guy took after you instead of his mom.”

With that the game was paused, and everyone looked up going quiet. I think that was a first time everyone in my band was quiet at the same time.

“Yea, this is Jaks, Jaks, these are the idiots I spend most my time with,” I said.

Xavier as always had to open his mouth, “What the fuck, Seth?”

“Watch your mouth X,” growled Drake.

With that Xavier snapped his mouth shut, no one wanted to piss off Drake, when he needed to be he could be a mean son of bitch.

“Can’t blame us for being a bit surprised Drake, I mean Seth waltzes in here with a mini me that we didn’t know about, so I am guessing that means Seth didn’t either,” said Alex.

Drake growled at that, which seemed to startle Alex.

“Oh shit,” Xavier said, “no way no way in hell.”

“What the hell are you talking about X?” said Alex.

“Drake would only be acting like that for one reason, the kid is Devi’s,” said Xavier.

Alex let out a curse.  Xavier may be an egotistical, bastard but he wasn’t dumb.

“Everyone meet Jackson Seth Porter, Jaks for short,” I said.

With that everyone looked at each other, and then the cursing really began.  We all knew this would change things.

I arrived later at Xavier’s than I had planned. I finished my 2 custom pieces then took in walk-in as well; the shop was busy as is normally the case for a Saturday.  I wasn’t in a hurry to get here, so I was somewhat relieved when Cris asked me to take the walk-in. I’d gotten a phone call from my brother earlier in the day, he said things hadn’t gone as well as Seth had hoped.  They weren’t exactly happy about Jaks, Drake had said, which meant he was pissed. He said at one point Seth and Xavier almost went to blows and had to be pulled apart by Sam and Max, while Drake had taken Jaks to get lunch.  I guess it was lucky for Xavier that Drake wasn’t there, whatever he had said or done to push Seth to that point would have probably gotten him murdered by my brother.

I banged my forehead against the steering wheel a few times, I didn’t want to mess up Seth’s life, and I knew he and his other band members are like brothers.  I also knew they wouldn’t exactly be thrilled by the situation, but nothing could be done about it now.  My day hadn’t gotten any better after the phone call. When I showed up to work, Cris ignored me for the most part, the only time he acknowledged I was there was when he barked orders at me or griped that I didn’t do something, I didn’t know I was supposed to do.  I had never been more relieved for Vic to show up in the shop.

I knew I couldn’t sit here any longer, so I made myself get out of the car and walk up to the front door, I was about to knock when it opened and Max emerged.

“You heading to the shop?” I asked.

“Yea, I have to be in at 7.  How was it looking when you left?” he asked.

“Busy as normal, Cris and Vic were both working on a couple of walk-ins and Jules had a couple looking at flash.”

“Great, sounds like I will be busy tonight,” he said with a smile. “Good luck in there, things are a bit tense.”

He walked off to his car and I went inside quietly shutting the door.  I walked through the house noticing all the work Xavier had put into it, it was looking good.  I walked into the game room and found a couple of the guys playing Xbox, but the sight that stopped me was Jaks sitting on Seth’s lap.  He was watching Seth‘s every move as Seth played his acoustic guitar singing quietly. Jaks had a look of rapture on his face, the same look I noticed that Seth had when he played.

Drake and Sam walked up from behind me, Drake putting an arm around my waist Sam an arm around my shoulders, I leaned into Sam giving him a half hug.  Sam was always my favorite out of Seth’s other band mates; he was originally in the same garage band as my brother and Seth.  Sam was very ghandiesque, always calm, collected. He didn’t talk much but when he did you listened, he and his brother were like night and day.

“Hey Dev, long time no see,” Sam said.