My Miserable Life (16 page)

Read My Miserable Life Online

Authors: F. L. Block

BOOK: My Miserable Life
11.73Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

After I finished my chocolate eggs, Monkeylad jumped up and sat in my lap, and that made me feel less scared, too.

When the movie was over, my mom admitted she'd liked it, and we talked about what made it good.

“I cared about Scary Gary,” I said. “He was intrepid in the beginning, which made me like him, but it also got him in trouble, which was good for the story.”

“Good use of the word
intrepid
, Ben. He changed and grew, just like in a good book,” Mom said. “Maybe we'll go to the library tomorrow and find you some funny, scary novels.”

I told her that sounded like a cool idea.

 

CHAPTER 18

A PERFECT DAY FOR BEN HUNTER

Tree and I have been riding our bikes to see the sunset. He's actually a pretty good guy. He told my mom I'm a really safe bike rider. I told her I had a friend to ride bikes with and could he come over so we could ride together. She finally said yes!

Today Joe Knapp came over. Turns out he loves bike riding as much as I do. His dad, the vet, dropped him off and communicated with Monkeylad. Dr. Knapp said that Monkeylad was probably traumatized in the shelter, just like I thought, and that the best thing for him was lots of exercise and slow socialization with very gentle, older dogs. Monkeylad was almost as obsessed with Dr. Knapp as with Serena Perl. My dog went right up on his haunches and just stared at Dr. Knapp for what seemed like minutes on end.

After Dr. Knapp left, Joe and I went for a ride through the neighborhood. The trees were blooming with pinkish-purple flowers, and the air was warm and smelled almost as good as cup-cakes. Joe and I rode to Serena Perl's. She got on her red bike with the glittery seat, and we all rode together around the park. Then we rode to Bigbucks coffeehouse and got chocolate Big Wippucinos. My mom even gave me money for one. She says she's trying to be less strict.

When we rode home, the warm breeze was in my face, blowing the worries of the world right out of me.

 

JUNE

WHAT I LEARNED IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL

A Graduation Speech by Ben Hunter

I learned a lot during my years in elementary school. When I started, I was just a little pipsqueak. I was excited and scared at the same time. I wanted to make friends and play, and learn cursive and math. Now, as I look back, I realize that as important as my teachers' assignments were, the things I learned about life from my teachers, especially Ms. Washington, and from my family, friends, and frenemies were even more important.

One thing I learned is to be nice to other people. Even when they make you mad. Usually they're not really trying to be mean. They're just thinking about themselves. Or sometimes, like with parents (and a shout-out to my mom here), they love you and are only trying to take care of you, even if they drive you crazy.

The second thing I learned is that if someone is being mean, you can find someone else to hang out with—“Go where the love is,” like my sister, Angelina, says.

Another thing I learned is that you have to be nice to yourself. Maybe you have to be nicer to yourself when other people aren't nice to you. Don't be too hard on yourself. Life is hard enough.

But there are great things to look forward to. Like dogs, even when they act crazy, and baseball, even when you strike out, and watching scary movies with your mom while eating chocolate, and riding your bike with your best friend. I wish everyone a great summer full of all the things you love to do and only a few of the things you don't. See you in middle school!

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR & ILLUSTRATOR

F. L. Block
, the author of many acclaimed and bestselling adult and young adult books, lives in Los Angeles with two kids and a dog that bears a mysterious resemblance to Monkeylad. You can sign up for email updates
here
.

Edward Hemingway
is the creator of
Bump in the Night
,
Bad Apple: A Tale of Friendship
, and
Bad Apple's Perfect Day
. He has written features for
GQ
magazine and comics for Nickelodeon, and his artwork has been featured in
The New York Times
and
Nickelodeon
magazine. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.

edward-hemingway.squarespace.com
. Or sign up for email updates
here
.

 

Thank you for buying this

Henry Holt and Company ebook.

 

To receive special offers, bonus content,

and info on new releases and other great reads,

sign up for our newsletters.

 

Or visit us online at

us.macmillan.com/newslettersignup

 

For email updates on F. L. Block, click
here
.

For email updates on Edward Hemingway, click
here
.

 

CONTENTS

Title Page

Copyright Notice

Dedication

September

Chapter One: Miserable

Chapter Two: The Bane

Chapter Three: The Cat's Meow

Chapter Four: The Monster Head That Didn't Spurt Blood

Chapter Five: The Halloween Fairy Is Evil

Chapter Six: An Impossible Mission

Chapter Seven: Grateful For Granny

Chapter Eight: Thursday Is Crazy

Chapter Nine: My Christmas Coffin

Chapter Ten: Super Sport Baseball Cleat Camp

Chapter Eleven: AKA Career Day AKA Mortify Ben Hunter Day

Chapter Twelve: The War of the Kisses

Chapter Thirteen: Spelling Bee's Knees

Chapter Fourteen: Real Life Monsters

Chapter Fifteen: Trouble

Chapter Sixteen: Ben Hunter Is the Caterpillar's Spats

Chapter Seventeen: Crazy Hat Day

Chapter Eighteen: A Perfect Day for Ben Hunter

About the Author & Illustrator

Copyright

 

Text copyright © 2016 by F. L. Block

Illustrations copyright © 2016 by Edward Hemingway

Henry Holt and Company, LLC

Publishers since 1866

Henry Holt
®
is a registered trademark of Henry Holt and Company, LLC.

175 Fifth Avenue, New York, New York 10010

mackids.com

All rights reserved

Our e-books may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at (800) 221-7945, extension 5442, or by e-mail at
[email protected]
.

The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:

Names: Block, Francesca Lia. | Hemingway, Edward, illustrator.

Title: My miserable life / F.L. Block ; illustrated by Edward Hemingway.

Description: First edition. | New York : Henry Holt and Company, 2016. | Summary: An overprotective mother, an unfriendly older sister, and a friend-stealing school bully are some of the challenges faced by thoughtful ten-year-old Ben Hunter of Filmland, California.

Identifiers: LCCN 2015022326 | ISBN 9780805096286 (hardback) | ISBN 9781627796590 (e-book)

Subjects: | CYAC: Friendship—Fiction. | Schools—Fiction | Family life—California—Fiction. | California—Fiction. | BISAC: JUVENILE FICTION / Humorous Stories. | JUVENILE FICTION / Social Issues / Friendship. | JUVENILE FICTION / School & Education.

Classification: LCC PZ7.B61945 My 2016 | DDC [Fic]—dc23

LC record available at http://lccn.loc.gov/2015022326

eISBN 9781627796590

First hardcover edition 2016

eBook edition June 2016

Other books

Lane's End by Paterson, Jill
We Ate the Road Like Vultures by Lynnette Lounsbury
Primeval and Other Times by Olga Tokarczuk
CalltheMoon by Viola Grace
A Sister's Wish by Shelley Shepard Gray
Offside by Bianca Sommerland
The Story by Judith Miller
Sara Bennett by Lessons in Seduction