My Map of You (15 page)

‘I'm not like everyone else.'

The electricity that had been crackling between them was still there, but it had rapidly gone from flirty to twitchy. Aidan seemed to sense the change in mood and paused for a moment, taking a sip of his beer and glaring at her in bemusement.

‘Listen, I'm sorry,' he said eventually. ‘It's really none of my business what you do with your own house.'

‘Thank you.' Holly was relieved.

‘I just know how much Sandra wanted you to have it,' he continued.

Exasperated, Holly took an aggressive slug of beer and ended up pouring most of it down the front of her top. Why was Aidan trying to make her feel guilty? Did he not realise how difficult it already was for her?

‘What did she say to you about me?' If Aidan was going to play this game, then she may as well make him squirm a bit too.

‘Not a lot, you know, just that you were all she had left and stuff.' He was definitely looking a bit shifty now, Holly decided.

‘She must have said more than that,' she pushed. ‘Come on …'

‘Another beer?' Aidan raised a hand in the direction of the bar.

‘Oi, stop changing the subject.' Holly was starting to feel indignant now and had to take a deep breath to curb the slight swell of anger that had risen up in her chest. Aidan responded by giving her such a lazy smile that she found she couldn't help but smile back. Bloody hell, he really was
so
infuriating.

The waiter who brought over their drinks – another beer for Holly and a bottle of water for Aidan – looked at least eighty. His gnarled hands were trembling with the effort of holding the tray and there were large liver spots on his cheeks. He was wearing a worn black vest, the neckline of which was decorated with a mass of wiry grey chest hair, and his feet were bare.

Aidan thanked him for the drinks and then motioned to Holly. ‘This is Yiorgos,' he told her. ‘He knew your Aunt Sandra.'

Yiorgos lifted his stooped neck and peered at Holly like a friendly vulture, his eyes brightening slightly. They were a brilliant, clear blue, and she was reminded of the sea down at Porto Limnionas. Turning back to Aidan, he began gabbling away in Greek, pausing every now and then to let him translate.

‘He says that your aunt was very beautiful, but that you are even more beautiful,' Aidan told her. ‘She made a
wedding dress for his granddaughter, ten years ago, and it was the happiest day of her life.'

Holly felt a swell of pride and beamed across at Yiorgos.

‘He wants to know if you're married,' Aidan added. Holly shook her head.

The old man then said something to Aidan and both men laughed, but whatever it was apparently didn't warrant translation. They sat for a further ten minutes, while Yiorgos told them stories about Sandra. He had known her since she first came to the island with her parents, and they became friends again when she moved back after they died. He remembered Holly's mum too, and was keen to point out how nice but naughty she had been. When Holly told Aidan to tell him that her mum had died, he looked genuinely upset, and reached across the table to grasp her hand.

‘Your mum must have been some woman,' Aidan said, after Yiorgos had kissed them both on the cheek and shuffled back inside the bar.

‘Oh, she was certainly that,' Holly replied, not bothering to keep the disdain from her voice.

‘You never told me how she died,' Aidan said carefully.

‘Car crash,' Holly replied immediately. It was such a well-weathered lie now, and anyway, the truth was just too depressing.

Aidan remained silent for a few seconds, then pointed at her empty beer bottle. ‘One for the road?'

Holly knew that he had her pegged. He could tell that
she was lying just as clearly as he could see that the sky was blue, but she was grateful that he had chosen not to push her on the subject. She couldn't help but feel a little bit guilty. After all, he'd been totally honest about his own mother, but she just wasn't ready.

For years now the truth had remained buried. She didn't even know how she'd begin to say the words, let alone what her emotional reaction would be. Aidan already thought she was crazy,
and
, the pernicious voice whispered in her ear,
you don't want to risk scaring him away, do you?

Aidan was quiet as they drove back towards Lithakia. He seemed lost in his own thoughts and Holly never had been one for small talk. Instead, she watched as the landscape swept by, her eyes drawn again and again to the rich blue of the ocean. She'd only been away from home for a few days, but in some ways it felt as though she'd always been here. Perhaps it was because a part of her always
had
been here – her aunt. Was that why she had wanted Holly to come and see the island so much? Was she afraid that by dying she would be leaving the place unattended?

It had been a long day and the thoughts swirling around in Holly's head were beginning to become exhausting. She was relieved when they finally rounded the corner and drove up the hill towards their respective homes. For the first time in as long as she could remember, she was actually looking forward to getting into bed and closing her eyes – and for once she knew that it wouldn't be long before sleep stole in and whisked her away.

Aidan opened the door for Phelan before he reached Holly, and for a second their eyes met through the jeep window.

‘I have to put in a morning at the clinic tomorrow,' he told her as she clambered out on to the path. ‘But I thought we could maybe drive over to Keri in the afternoon?'

Holly consulted the map. Keri didn't look like it was very far away at all, and someone – she suspected this time it had been her mum – had written the words ‘yummy barman at Ocean View' in large, enthusiastic letters.

Aidan looked down and grinned. ‘I can't promise you a yummy barman, but Ocean View is still there. We could have some late lunch there, if you like?'

Holly nodded. ‘I'd like that very much.'

They walked up the path in silence with Phelan padding along next to them and Holly let the comforting scent from the lemon and fig trees swim happily across her senses. In that moment, everything felt right.

‘Sleep well, Holly,' Aidan said gently, and then he was gone.

Friday, 4 January 1991

Dearest Sandbags,

As you can see from the other side of this postcard, we've arrived back in England. It feels very strange to be back after so many years – and it's cold enough to freeze your bits off. But there is some good news – I've met someone, and I really think this one could be different. He's called Simon and he has beautiful black
and white hair. I've taken to calling him Badger, which Holly thinks is just the funniest thing. He's great with her, as well. We met just before Christmas in Sri Lanka and he's invited Holly and me to live with him. Imagine! Me all settled down. I never thought I'd see the day. I've put my new address in the corner, so please do write back and tell me your news. I miss you every day.

Jen Bear xxx

As
she had predicted, Holly fell asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow in the spare room and when she woke up, over ten hours later, it wasn't with the shaking fear and nightmare sweating that she'd grown accustomed to. She felt absolutely amazing, and even sang loudly through the open bathroom window as she took a morning shower.

Swinging aside the soggy curtain with a flourish ten minutes later, Holly flipped open the glass door of the cabinet to retrieve her toothpaste and froze – there was a photograph tucked up on the shelf above, part-obscured by a dusty bottle of lavender perfume. How the hell had she missed that?

Jenny Wright was instantly recognisable, her brown hair pulled back into an untidy ponytail and a silly, lopsided grin on her face. She was wearing a bright yellow sundress with a red ribbon sash and had her arm casually draped around two young men with dark hair and lazy smiles. Given the depth of their tans and the fact that the photo had clearly been taken on a beach, Holly guessed that they were most likely Greeks. On the other side of them was another brunette girl. She was smiling too, albeit with less obvious confidence, and was wearing a white broderie anglaise blouse tucked into pale blue shorts. Her hand was clasped firmly in that of the Greek man closest to her.

There was no denying the similarity between this girl and Jenny, and as Holly stared at them she sank down to sit on the edge of the bath. So, this must be her Aunt Sandra. Wow, they really had been twins. Holly felt her eyes widen as she scoured the faded photo for details. It had been years since she'd let herself look at a photo of her mum, and seeing her there so suddenly, looking so happy, so young and so clearly carefree, was like taking a hard punch to the chest. She could hear her heart hammering and forced herself to take a deep breath.

Flipping the photo over, she saw that someone had scrawled ‘Zakynthos, 1984' on the back. That meant Jenny and Sandra must have been around nineteen when it was taken, a whole ten years younger than Holly was now. It was such a lovely photo, full of colour, vitality and smiles, and Holly felt a pang of genuine regret for the sisters. They must have been so close when this was taken, having just lost their parents and come over to Zakynthos together. At least, that's what Holly was starting to assume must have happened. Perhaps there had been too many memories back home in the UK, too many painful reminders of what they'd both lost, lurking in the shadows.

Jenny had told Holly when she was younger that she'd grown up in Kent, in a small village with only a few shops, acres of farmland and cowpats dotted all down the high street. When Holly had asked why they never went there for a visit, her mum had simply shrugged and told her that there was nothing there for them any more. ‘There's nothing to be gained from living in the past,' she'd told her, waggling her finger as she said it and making Holly
laugh. ‘The only way to keep going is to keep moving forward, not looking backward.'

As she sat here now, the photo of happy Jenny from the past clutched in her hand, Holly thought that perhaps her mum had been wrong. Whatever had happened to make this beaming-with-joy girl turn her back on this part of her past must have been something that she really couldn't take back – something worse than the future she'd ended up in. Holly waited for a beat or two and sure enough, there it was, the enormous punch of guilt that always came. She hadn't been enough to make her mum happy. Jenny had stared into a future with only Holly and decided that it wasn't worth the effort.

She was still sitting there ten minutes later when a loud knock at the door almost made her scream out loud in fright.

‘Oh sorry, love – I didn't mean to disturb you.'

Holly wound her towel tighter around her front and stepped aside to let Annie in. She looked so cheerful – and slightly mad with her lopsided bun and shiny cheeks – that Holly found herself immediately comforted.

‘Tea?' she asked, retreating into the kitchen.

‘Always,' came the reply. Annie had dumped her bag on the table and was poking through all the scraps of Sandra's old clothes.

‘You've been busy,' she remarked, and Holly flushed.

‘Oh no,' Annie held up her hands. ‘I didn't mean that in a bad way. Sandra would have loved this. I mean, she was always on this thing,' she added, gesturing to the sewing machine. Holly had already found herself wondering how the hell she was going to get it back to London.

‘Do you really think so?' Holly asked, pouring boiling water into two mugs.

‘Oh, definitely.' Annie beamed at her. ‘You're so much like her, you know? People must tell you that all the time.'

‘No.' Holly thought it was better not to lie on this occasion.

Annie shrugged and took her tea, blowing on the top as Holly darted upstairs to throw on some clothes. The photograph was still on the edge of the basin in the bathroom, but something stopped her from taking it down to show Annie. She was still feeling far too wobbly to get into a conversation about her mum.

‘This is gorgeous!' Annie was standing by the back doors looking up at the patchwork tapestry.

‘I thought it would look nice with a bit of colour in here,' Holly replied. She had never been comfortable with praise, and squirmed as Annie raved about how clever she was to create something so beautiful from a load of old clothes.

‘I see you've been buying up the local lace supplies too,' Annie said now, running the hand that wasn't holding the mug of tea over the treasured swathes of material Holly had picked up the previous day.

‘I'm going to use it to make myself some clothes,' she told her, deciding in that moment that it was exactly what she was going to do.

‘Where did you get it?' Annie asked now. ‘Don't tell me you drove up into the mountains on that heap of crap parked outside?'

For a second Holly was confused, but then she laughed as she remembered the moped.

‘Aidan drove me up to Volimes,' she said, immediately regretting it. Annie's bun wobbled a bit as she absorbed this new bit of information.

‘That was going to be my next question,' she said, looking at Holly with a gleam in her eye. ‘I guessed you might have run into each other a few more times by now.'

Holly had started to squirm again.

‘You could do a lot worse, you know?' Annie stared into her half-empty cup. ‘Aidan is a good catch.'

‘You make him sound like a fish.' Holly knew it was a lame joke, and Annie's expression confirmed it.

‘You know, if I was ten years younger …' she went on, raising an eyebrow.

‘Why let age stop you?' Holly quipped. ‘If you like him that much, then go for it.'

Annie waved her arms in front of her face as if a wasp had just flown into the room. ‘You flatter me, Holly love – but he'd no more look at me than he would at old Kostas down the hill.'

‘I'm not interested in Aidan like that,' Holly reassured her. ‘He's just been showing me around. Taking me to some of the places that my aunt used to go.'

‘That's why I popped round,' Annie said, taking her mug over to the sink and pouring away the dregs. ‘I thought I could take you up to the market where Sandy used to have her stall sometimes, on the other side of town. I'm going over there this afternoon anyway, and I thought you might like to meet some of her other friends.'

Holly was incredibly touched and was about to agree, but then she remembered Aidan, and the late lunch they had planned in Keri.

‘I actually have plans,' she admitted sheepishly. ‘Aidan is taking me to Keri.'

‘Oh?' Annie's eyebrows were practically dusting the ceiling now.

Bugger. This was not making her claim about Aidan just being a friend look very convincing.

‘I can probably rearrange,' she finished lamely, realising as she said it that she had no way of actually contacting Aidan, even if she wanted to.

‘No, no, no!' Annie was already heading towards the door. ‘I would never want to get in the way of a burgeoning, ahem, friendship between the two of you.'

If she hadn't been smiling quite so cheekily, Holly would have thought Annie was having a sly dig.

‘Could we go another day, maybe?' she pleaded at the door. ‘I'd really like to see the market.'

‘Of course.' Annie hesitated for a moment and then stepped forward and put her arms round Holly's shoulders, pulling her into a hug.

‘What's this for?' Holly asked, her voice muffled by Annie's nest of hair.

‘You just looked like you needed it, darling,' Annie said, releasing her and giving her shoulders a quick squeeze before making her way back out to the path.

She was right, thought Holly, blinking away the tears: she really had needed it.

Aidan arrived just as Holly was putting the finishing touches to a new blouse she had created using a cream camisole she'd brought with her from London and some of the most delicate of the Greek lace. She'd discovered a
little velvet bag of buttons in one of the drawers in Sandra's bedroom, and it was the last of these that she was sewing on by hand when he appeared at the open back doors.

‘I can wait,' he said straight away, holding up his hand as she made to leap up from her chair. As she bent back over her work, Holly could sense rather than see his eyes on her, and it took every ounce of her self-control to finish the stitch without stabbing herself in the finger with nerves.

‘No Phelan today?' she asked, slipping the finished garment on a hanger and transferring it to the back of another chair.

‘Nah.' Aidan stepped forward and picked up a sleeve of her creation, letting the material slip slowly back through his fingers. ‘Silly idiot's scared of boats, and I thought we might go out on one after lunch. This is beautiful, by the way.'

‘Really?' Holly blushed with delight. ‘I mean, it's not a big deal, I just had a few hours to kill.'

‘You'd think I'd be good at sewing, being a vet,' he added. ‘But I'm terrible. There are a lot of poor animals on this island sporting hideous wonky scars thanks to my sausage fingers.'

Holly giggled, looking down at her own petite hands. Her mum's had been the same. As Holly was growing up, Jenny would always hold her palm out and Holly would place her own on top so they could compare sizes. She hadn't thought about that for a long time, and picturing it now made her smile.

‘You okay?' Aidan was peering at her.

‘Yes.' Holly shook herself out of the memory. ‘Let's get out of here.'

The small coastal village of Keri was situated on a hillside in the south of the island, around four miles from Lithakia. It took Aidan less than fifteen minutes to drive them there, and before parking the jeep he gave Holly a quick tour, pointing out the clusters of stone houses high up above them on the cliffs and the thin strip of beach separating the main road from the sea. The famous turtle-shaped island of Marathonissi sat large and proud in the ocean opposite the harbour, which was dotted with fishing boats, sailing vessels and even the odd yacht.

‘It's so beautiful here,' Holly said, as Aidan swung the jeep into a dusty parking space next to the narrow beach.

‘The best thing about Keri is the sunset,' he informed her. ‘I'm happy to hang around for it, if you are?'

Holly nodded, trying to ignore the bubbles of excitement popping up in her chest. As if on cue, her phone started to vibrate inside her bag. Rupert had messaged earlier saying that he'd call her after his lunch meeting, so it must be him. She ignored it and swung the bag round on her hip. It wasn't very nice of her, she knew that, but she couldn't very well talk to him now, not when Aidan still didn't have any idea that he even existed.

‘Ocean View's up there,' Aidan was pointing at the sheer cliff face that curved round the bay. There was what looked like a restaurant close to the top, which had an outdoor balcony area dotted with tables and chairs. Knowing that her mum and Sandra must have spent lots of time there gave Holly goosebumps.

They wandered along the seafront in companionable
silence, Holly taking in the bars, restaurants and souvenir shops and Aidan staring out across the water. The little patch of sand was bustling with families, and Aidan explained that there were a lot of holiday villas in this part of the island.

‘You wouldn't really want to take little Billy and little Lizzie down Laganas' main road, now, would you?' he joked.

‘I haven't been down there at night,' Holly confessed. ‘Is it mental?'

‘Well, that depends,' he looked at her sideways. The light breeze that was coming in across the sea had blown some of his curls up in the air. ‘If stepping over puddles of puke is your thing, then you'd love it.'

She pulled a face which made it very clear that no, that was definitely not her thing, and Aidan laughed. They'd reached the end of the main road now and arrived at the harbour. Considering she'd never actually been on a proper boat, Holly was surprised at how much she was drawn to them now. She loved the fact that they all had names, and asked Aidan what he'd call a boat if he ever bought one.