My Little Secret (7 page)

 

By Friday, Nevaeh is working my damn nerves. I couldn't blame her because she loves hard, but she doesn't give a sister any breathing room. When I told her that we should take it one day at a time, I thought she got it, but when I tried to leave New Jersey without her, that caused a glitch in the matrix that could only be fixed by letting her come home with me. I told her she would have to leave by Thursday night, but here it is Friday morning and her ass is still here.

Another thing that kind of got on my nerves was her being naked all the damn time. I don't know if that's a model thing or what, and I understand that she has a beautiful body, but I don't need to see it twenty-four–seven. Damn, let me miss it first. This bitch just insists on having her pussy out and in my damn face whether I want it there or not.

The
Essence
photo shoot went extremely well, and the photo is slated to be on the cover of the June issue. I thought Nevaeh was going to wild out at the photo shoot on some diva shit, but surprisingly she just sat in a director's chair in the corner and flipped through previous issues of
Essence
while we took pictures and went through wardrobe changes.

I was ready to jet then, but I stayed with her Tuesday night to shut her up. By Wednesday, I knew I had to go home because I didn't bring my laptop, and I had to get cracking on the script I was working on, so I wouldn't have to hear Nathan's mouth, come August.
Rich Chicks
is going to be my next best-seller. I can feel it. I just hope that people feel me on it, since it is so different from
She Belongs to Me
and
Second Time Around
. People just can't get enough of Melissa, but I have some new characters I hope the readers will love just the same.

When I wake up Wednesday morning I breathe a brief sigh of relief because Nevaeh is at the gym. That allows me the opportunity to stretch out on the bed, since she slept right under me during the night. When I get up to get a drink from the kitchen I see the note she left for me on the refrigerator, letting me know she would be back by ten. It is 8:45
A.M.
at the moment.

Deciding to take that opportunity to get some more sleep, I dive back into the bed, only to be disturbed by my cell phone ringing. I start to ignore it, but if it was Nevaeh, she would rush back there thinking I jetted on her. Grabbing the phone I see that it is Midori, and I start to hit the reject button on her ass, but a part of me still wants to curse her out. I answer the phone with major attitude, and instead of telling her how I feel, I just end it all. I ain't anybody's second choice.

For like four seconds I feel bad, but I deserve better. I give her all of me just to be treated like a second-class citizen. Damn the jokes. I just wasn't in the mood to be strung along anymore. We all know that when you're fooling with a married person they
never
leave their spouse, so there would be no difference with us.

After hanging up on her, I turn over and prepare to go back to sleep. I really couldn't sleep outside the house anyway, so I hadn't had a restful sleep since I'd been out there.

Finally getting comfortable, I am able to close my eyes, just to be disturbed again by Nevaeh busting through the damn door a half hour early. Giving up any hope of rest, I get up to hop in the shower. I have to get out of here.

While in the shower I am thinking about all the shit I have to get done. Three days was way too long for me to have not done anything.

When I get out of the shower I smell breakfast cooking, but I would be taking it out the door. Hurrying to dry off and get dressed, I could hear Nevaeh fussing around in the kitchen. She would put up a fight, but I had to go. It is just that simple.

“Nevaeh, I'm about to be out. Can you wrap my breakfast up in some foil? I'll eat it on the road,” I call from the room while I unwrap my shoulder-length tresses from the beehive it had been in since the day before. I already had what little stuff I brought there packed away, and I double-checked to make sure I didn't leave any panties or personal items. Not that I thought Nevaeh was anything like my character Melissa, but you just never know about people.

“I already set you a plate at the table. Why can't we eat before we go?” she says, suddenly standing in the doorway with a sad look on her face.

I wasn't falling for that shit this time. I had things to do.

“We? I need to get back on the road to beat that rush-hour traffic. I should've brought my laptop, but I didn't and I have mad work to get done,” I respond, looking at her through the mirror. We go through this shit every time. I already know she would be crying in a few seconds.

“Okay, well, give me a second to grab a few items and we can go.”

“What? Hold on, Nevaeh. We didn't discuss you coming home with me.”

I run behind her in the bathroom to talk some sense into her. Couldn't she sense I have an attitude, and I need some alone time? I knew this shit was going to happen, and I should've stayed at the hotel
Essence
was providing for me. Between her being clingy and Midori not doing enough, I am ready to scream my damn self.

“Nevaeh, you can't go. I told you I have things to do. You know I can't concentrate with you on my heels. Didn't we already talk about this?”

She doesn't miss a beat, continuing to throw stuff haphazardly in an overnight bag. I can't believe this chick. It's like what we talked about didn't even matter. I finally had to go up to her and grab her so she would stop. Something is telling me to get out while I could, but I couldn't tell her face to face.

“Nevaeh, you can't go.” I spoke to her like I was talking to a child. This was the irritating shit I was talking about.

“Why not? I won't bother you while you're working,” she said with a pout on her pretty face she knew I couldn't resist.

“Just come on.” I looked at her after a second. Something was telling me to let it be, but I didn't listen. Something I'd later regret.

That was two days ago. I was hoping she would leave yesterday, but she gave me some bullshit about not wanting to ride back home so late at night in a cab by herself. Since when was that an issue? It's been times when she left here two and three in the morning when it's pitch damn black outside to get home, so that bullshit she's trying to feed me is not going to pop off.

I get up early this morning and pack her bags while she is sleeping, and set them shits by the door. I leave out an outfit and clean underwear, as well as a few toiletries so we could expedite this. Waking her up at eight on the nose, I rush her through her shower and breakfast like I really have somewhere to be.

She is mad because I really wasn't going to take her home, but if she was smart she would've driven that nice new Ford Edge she had parked in her garage, but she is too scared I'm going to jet on her ass on the turnpike to think about it. I don't care how she gets home; I just want her ass out.

By nine I shower and eat breakfast, and am finally able to sit back and clear my mind. I still need fifty thousand words in an eighty-thousand word script, and I only have five months to get it done. That's not a lot of time, and I know I have to get cracking if I am going to have this script turned in on time.

An hour later, I still haven't written anything, and I decide to get a snack out of the kitchen. On my way past the door I hear a knock, and I instantly get pissed because I think Nevaeh turned back around. I open the door, prepared to break shit off with her, but I get the shock of my life instead.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, holding my chest where my heart is, not believing my eyes.

“I had to talk to you. I think we need to sit down face to face.”

I open the door to let Midori in, still surprised to see her standing there. I didn't expect to see her here since we got into that altercation the other day, but a part of me is glad she came. Walking behind her and seeing her thong at the top of her jeans makes me wet instantly, but I hold it down. I could watch her ass jiggle at any time; right now we had some serious talking to do.

 

Yup, I straight left his ass right in Belize. When he left out of the hotel room Friday morning, I got up out of there with the quickness, having a cab take me from the hotel to the airport. Before I left, I took the photocopy of the picture I found in Ray's wallet and left it on the coffee table on top of all of his other papers, so he had no choice but to see it. At first I started to write him a nasty little letter, but I decided against it, instead letting him know that I would be moved out by the time he got home. I put my song by Heather Headley, “The Letter,” on repeat so he could listen to the lyrics. I was tired of his cheating ass, and if it weren't for him cheating, I wouldn't have turned to Jaydah in the first place.

I had to take a connecting flight from Jacksonville, Florida, and by the time I got to the Philadelphia International Airport and turned my cell phone back on, I had twelve messages from Ray wanting to talk. I didn't even bother to call; I just caught a quick cab to my house. And once I transferred my belongings from the cab to my car, I went straight to Jaydah's house to set things straight.

I know she said she wanted to end it, but a part of me just won't let it be just that. I hesitated before knocking on her door because when I pulled up to her condo, I saw the woman who was with us at dinner leaving out to get into a cab. I didn't really know what her and Jaydah's relationship entailed, and I didn't want any confrontation.

I wait for about fifteen minutes to ensure she wouldn't double back, and also to get my nerve up. Finally getting out of the car, I go ahead and knock on the door, instead of using the spare key she gave me a while back. That is another thing I have to do. Slow down and stop being so presumptuous. After all, I am still married.

She answers the door with an attitude. Her first instinct was to probably shut the door in my face, but she doesn't. She also doesn't invite me in, which was different for her too.

“Can I come in so we can talk?” I ask her after a few minutes of awkward silence. She is really pissed, and I don't think sweet-talking her is going to work this time.

“We can talk right here,” she says, making the space between her and the door tighter by closing the door some.

Damn, she is really mad.
“Jaydah, don't be like that. Why can't we talk inside? Besides all that, I'm tired. I came straight off the plane to here. Can I at least have a seat?”

She stands in the doorway contemplating whether she wants to let me in or not.

My face says it all, and I really want to tell her my side of the story.

Taking a step back, she allows me in, but instead of going to her bedroom, she sits on the arm of the couch.

I can't even be mad about it; at least I'm not still in the hallway.

“Okay, so talk. What bullshit did you come to feed me today? And please make it quick because I have things to do,” Jaydah says to me, looking as if she can't even stand the sight of me.

Something is telling me even the truth isn't going to be enough, but what do I have to lose?

“Jaydah, I just got back from Belize. Ray took me on a surprise vacation for my birthday, and I didn't know we were leaving until we finished dinner,” I say with tears in my eyes, but it doesn't look like she believes me.

“It's funny how all of a sudden you don't know whether your husband is coming or going, when only a few months ago you knew his every move. What's changed since then?”

“So now it's my fault?” I say, flipping the script and hoping that it works. “I am not psychic. How in hell am I supposed to know what that man is thinking? Hell, he's doing shit he's never done before, so what am I supposed to do?”

“You know what, Midori? You got too many excuses, and I just don't have time to try and sort them all out for you.”

“So, what are you saying?” I ask, my heart picking up speed. I didn't know what to expect from Jaydah, but I know once she's had enough, she starts to think irrationally.

“I'm saying that it's time for you to go. Get the hell out of my condo, and don't come back until you know what you want.”

“Are you serious?” I ask. She has to be joking, but she gets up and walks toward the door. She hesitates for a brief second then opens it wide, looking at me with hate in her eyes.

“How could you do this to me?” I ask, not believing the outcome of this visit.

“Do this to you?” she says with a wicked laugh. “Honey, you did this to yourself, but it was good while it lasted, right?”

“But, Jaydah—”

“Midori, you got to go.”

What can I do? As she wishes, I get up to leave. On the way out I try to look into her eyes, but she turns her head the other way. I never thought it would come to this, even though in my heart I knew it had to. I had a husband,
had
being the operative word, and I knew I would have to deal with him too. I have some serious decisions to make, because I'm not sure if I want to even be bothered.

Once I get out into the parking lot and to my car, I find a handwritten note from Nevaeh on my windshield warning me to stay away from Jaydah. That won't be hard because Jaydah doesn't want me around anyway.

My cell phone is ringing off the hook, and when I see that it is Ray calling, I hit the reject button, then afterward turn the phone completely off. I figure I have enough time to get me a couple of outfits from the house and put the luggage I have in my car now in the bedroom.

I decide on the way back to my house to get a hotel room for a few days until I calm the hell down. I don't feel like dealing with Ray right away, and I still have to get this Jaydah situation intact. I call my assistant and tell her I'll be taking an extra week off, pretending like I'm just having a dandy damn time out with my husband.

Checking into an Extended Stay hotel by the airport, I dip back out once more to get some groceries to put into the cabinets while I'm there, and after taking a long bath I wrap up in the covers on the bed and drift off to sleep, wondering when my life got so complicated. Extended Stay isn't really my hotel of choice, but I just need to be somewhere quickly, and where I know Ray wouldn't look for me.

The sad thing is, if I had to choose between the two, I'd choose Jaydah because she gives me peace of mind. Ray, on the other hand, offers financial stability, so I have to decide which I can do without. A part of me knows I need both.