My Life as the Ugly Stepsister (22 page)
Read My Life as the Ugly Stepsister Online
Authors: Juli Alexander
In the great scheme of things, I guess it wasn’t the most technically challenging class I’d ever taken. It seemed designed to observe us more than anything. I guess the challenging was in impressing the director.
“Dmilov was totally loving you,” she continued, looking directly at me.
He was? “No way. He kept criticizing me.”
“Dani, Dani, Dani.” Maya shook her head. “Haven’t you learned anything yet? Criticism is good.”
I knew that, but sometimes the fragile artist’s self-esteem needs a boost. Especially when you were afraid you’d danced like a cow.
Or looked like one.
“Much better to be noticed than not,” Analisa agreed.
Maya laughed. “Like me. He totally ignored me. I could’ve just slept in and nobody would’ve been the wiser. But I expected that.”
“Why?” I asked. “You were on Teen Celebrity Dance-Off. You’re one the best dancers at the school!”
“I’m a contemporary dancer, Dani. Ballet’s not my thing. Not like it is for you and Ana. You’re the bunheads.” She shrugged and rolled her shoulders to work out the kinks in her muscles. “It’s okay. I’ll have fun dancing Snow. I already know the choreography.”
“Wanna go grab a smoothie while we wait?” Analisa asked.
I flinched, both from the question and from the pain of my bleeding toes as I peeled back the lamb’s wool I’d shoved inside my dance shoes. (I always laugh when people say that dancers probably have the nicest feet. Do they actually know any dancers?)
Did I really need the extra calories and sugar from a smoothie? I had costumes to fit into – well, I would if I got a role, that is.
Maya must have seen my hesitation because she answered for me. “Yes, she does. Let’s get out of here.”
We left campus and walked the two blocks to Groovie Smoothie. I thought about ordering a bottle of water and calling it a day, but I knew Ana and Maya weren’t going to hear of it. I knew they were worried about me, but they were wrong. I didn’t have a problem.
Really.
Sure, I’d agreed last month to see a body image counselor. And I’d been going, but it wasn’t the least bit necessary. Interesting – I was learning a lot – but not for me.
The dance department was full of hypocrites. They encouraged us to do whatever it took to be slim and trim so we would look good up on stage, but they didn’t want the liability of their dancers ending up hospitalized. So my counseling was just a formality, and everyone knew it.
Besides, I didn’t have a problem. Really.
“I’ll have an extra-large Mango Madness with a raspberry swirl.” I could just have a fruit smoothie, no need for yogurt. Lo-cal, no fat. Perfect. “Oh, and a soft pretzel,” I added with pointed look at Maya.
See, I didn’t have a problem. Really.
We grabbed our snacks and headed back to the theatre to check on the result.
No list. Damn.
We were just packing up to go back to the dorms when an excited cry rang out from the far end of the room. “The list!”
I limped down the aisle to join the crowd of girls all huddled around a small sheet of paper tacked to the wall. The list contained both girls’ and boys’ names, even though the particular audition we’d just completed was girls-only. The boys took class in a different studio, and their audition was less competitive since there are so many fewer of them so they were pretty much all guaranteed roles.
The crowd was six deep in front of the soloist list, so I checked out the results for the
corps
first.
My eyes scanned down to the S’s:
Maya Sapp
Talia Small
Alexis Sutton
Lydia Tsai
They skipped me. They skipped me! Which could only mean one thing.
I was going to be a soloist! Sweet!
“Excuse me. Pardon me,” I said, elbowing my way to the front of the other list.
OMG! My name, right there in bold font.
Sugar Plum Fairy
Hadley Taylor
Daniela Spevak (understudy)
Me – the Sugar Plum Fairy! As a freshman! I couldn’t believe it, but there it was in black and white. I couldn’t wait to share my news.
I spun around and saw Analisa and Maya. “I’m dancing Sugar Plum!”
“No, I’m dancing Sugar Plum,” Hadley sneered, behind me.
“What do you mean?”
Analisa bit her lip. “You’re the understudy, Dani.”
I turned back to the list and checked it again. She was right. I was the understudy.
Worse yet, I was
Hadley’s
understudy. How could I have missed that crucial piece of info?
“That’s fantastic, Dani.” Maya threw her arms around me and enveloped me in a bear hug. “You go, girl!”
I shrugged out of her grasp and scanned the list again. My name didn’t appear anywhere other than that understudy role. It had to be a mistake.
“I’m not…performing?”
Hadley laughed. “Looks that way. Sucks to be you.”
Now I knew why dancers say “
merde
” instead of “good luck.” This was shit. For real.
But I wasn’t going to let anyone see me cry.
I looked at the cast list again. Maya was right – Analisa was going to be the Snow Queen. I was thrilled for her. I really was.
But why didn’t I get a role? I mean, I’m just a freshman, so I guess I shouldn’t have expected a solo. I was honored to understudy such a prestigious role at just fourteen years old, but why couldn’t I also be a Snowflake or even a girl in the party scene?
“Congrats, Hadley,” I said, pasting on my happy face. “And Ana, yay!”
After the requisite round of congratulations, I sneaked out the back with the rest of the rejects while everyone else was still chattering about the upcoming rehearsals.
Hours and hours of rehearsals that I would have to attend, even though I wouldn’t get a chance to dance in the performances. Because let’s face it. Short of a tragedy, there was no way Hadley wouldn’t be dancing.
It just wasn’t fair.
Why wasn’t I good enough? Monsieur Dmilov corrected me, so I know he saw something in my dancing that he wanted to cultivate. And just last month I danced on national TV. So it couldn’t be my dancing.
Which only left one thing.
I ran to the bathroom and threw up.
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