My Last - Riley & Chelle (14 page)

Riley looked so at ease holding the baby. Chelle had seen a lot of new fathers that looked supremely uncomfortable and awkward when they held their babies, but Riley looked like an old pro.

She felt an ache in her chest. Hoo boy. She knew that she was beginning to want things that she had no business wanting.

“She likes you.” Mindy smiled, “You’re good with her.”

Tommy stepped behind his wife and pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her waist. “Yeah, man. When are you gonna get one of these?”

Riley looked at them, smiling a little. Chelle thought that the smile seemed a little wistful. “A wife or a kid?”

“Both.” Tommy smiled back, and there was nothing wistful about his grin. It radiated nothing but pure joy.

“I don’t think it’s in the cards, man.” Riley again turned his attention to the tiny bundle in his arms.

“Which one, the wife or the kids?” Tommy shot back.

“Both.” Riley stared down at Serena, who began wiggling in his arms.

“That’s what I thought, too.” Tommy kissed the top of his wife’s head. “Now I don’t know what the hell I was even doing before this.”

Mindy shook her head and laughed, “I do. You were getting drunk with your buddies and being a man-whore.”

Chelle watched the interaction between the two of them and a twinge of sadness began to form in her chest. She wanted that - the easy camaraderie that accompanied the sparks that flew off of them every time their eyes met.

She had never experienced that before, never fit with someone that way. She had seen that kind of a relationship, sure - with Jason and Katie. But she had thought it must be a fluke. A once in a lifetime kind of connection.

She had only been around Tommy and Mindy for a few minutes, but she already recognized that they had the same kind of love that Jason and Katie had. When Tommy looked at his wife it was like the rest of the world didn’t exist. She wanted a man to look at her that way. Like all he needed was her.

“Alright, you boys head out back. That Saté is not going to barbeque itself. I’m gonna go check on the peanut sauce.” She began to take baby Serena out of Riley’s arms.

“Can I hold her?” Chelle asked. She loved babies so much. Which was the main reason she had chosen to work as a nurse in labor and delivery.

Mindy smiled widely, “Of course.”

“She’s qualified,” Riley said as he handed the small infant to Chelle, “she’s a nurse in the baby place in the hospital.” If Chelle was not mistaken, she heard a note of pride in his voice. Hmm. That observation warmed her from within more than it probably ought to.

“Labor and delivery,” Chelle smiled as she clarified, and the group chuckled.

As Chelle took the precious bundle from Riley’s arms and their skin connected for a moment, something passed between them. It felt more like a shot of pure electricity than anything Chelle had ever experienced. She was momentarily stunned by it, paralyzed.

But then she felt Miss Serena squirming in her arms and was brought out of the trance-like state that shock had momentarily put her into.

She looked down at the newborn and, like clockwork, tears began to form in her eyes. For some reason, every time she held a new baby for the first time, she got choked up. Everyone on the nursing floor she worked on teased her about it. It had, in fact, become a running joke in Labor and Delivery. They called her 'Waterworks.'

She didn’t mind. She wasn’t embarrassed about it. New life was a miracle. Secretly, she kind of looked down on the others for
not
getting choked up, although she would never tell them that. I mean, come on...if you could look down into the face of a squirming little bundle of brand-new tiny human and not feel overwhelmed by the awesomeness inherent in that...well, Chelle couldn't wrap her mind around that level of jadedness.

Not to mention, they were just damn cute.

“You okay?” Riley asked. He rubbed the small of her back.

She nodded and shook her head, “I always get all misty-eyed whenever I hold a new baby for the first time.”

“You must keep a lot of Kleenex on hand at work then,” Tommy teased.

Chelle smiled, “I should have stock in the company.”

She looked back down at Serena. Her sweet face, her perfect lips, her long eyelashes.

Riley moved closer to her, leaning close to her ear, “I’ll be out back if you need me.”

He placed a soft kiss on her temple and Chelle felt her knees go weak.

Phew! Sensory overload!

Holding Serena, having Riley rub her back and whisper in her ear (and true it wasn’t ‘sweet-nothings’, but still!)...and then the cherry-on-top – him kissing her sweetly before heading out back.

How much more perfect could that moment be? A little voice in the back of her head reminded her that it wasn’t real. Her perfect moment was not reality. Riley wasn’t hers. She wasn’t his. Okay, so maybe not the
perfect
moment...

“Do you want a glass of wine, soda, water?” Mindy offered as she was bustling around the kitchen.

“Water would be great, thanks.” She had probably ingested more alcohol in the past week than she had in the entire twenty-eight years previous. It might not be a bad idea to give it a rest for the evening.

Chelle sat at the beautiful oak kitchen table with baby Serena in her arms.

“So, Tommy said that you and Riley grew up together.”

“Yeah, well, kind of. He and my older brother Eddie are really good friends.”

“So, do you live out here now? Riley grew up close to Chicago, right?” Mindy asked as she stirred scrambled eggs and chopped up pieces of chicken into rice, which she called Nasi Goreng.

“Yes, he did. We grew up in a little town called Harper’s Crossing. And I actually still live in Harper's Crossing, I just came out here for, um, a vacation.”

“Oh that’s fun. How long are you staying?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe another week or so.”

“So, Riley and you...is that new? Or have you guys been doing the long distance thing?”

Mindy was putting out a strong protective vibe and, although all these questions were making Chelle a little uncomfortable, she could sense that they weren’t being asked out of any sort of gossipy or nosy intention. No, it was obvious that Mindy wanted to safeguard Riley's happiness. She was trying to make sure that Chelle was on the up and up.

Chelle could appreciate that. She would want to do the same. Although her protective instinct may have some ulterior motives attached to them (and, in fact, would probably be more in the realm of 'territorial' than 'protective') since she had feelings for Riley. But, she wanted the best for him all the same.

“Oh, Riley and I aren’t a couple. The poor guy just got dragged into the soap opera that is my life. He’s just looking out for me.”

Mindy gave her an odd look, “So, you guys aren’t together?”

Chelle figured instead of beating around the bush and trying to tell half the story she might as well just come out with it. It was easier than trying to explain without really explaining. Plus, it would put Mindy’s mind at ease.

“No, we aren't. So, here's the story. A few weeks ago my best friend Katie married Riley’s brother Jason. On the morning of the wedding, my fiancé told me that he had been sleeping with his eighteen year old secretary, that she was pregnant, and they were getting married.

“Holy crap!”

“Indeed,” Chelle agreed, and then pressed on, “Katie, who is the sweetest best friend in the whole world, ended up finding out the news at the reception. She offered me her apartment here in the city. She just moved back to Harper’s Crossing and still had a couple more months on her lease. She knew this would give me time to get my head together, and also time for Katie – who is a lawyer, by the way, I forgot to mention that – to convince my ex-fiancé that it wasn't actually legal to decide that I had five days to vacate my condo, at which point his new girlfriend was changing the locks. Which was another little gem that he dropped on me at the wedding. At the reception, as a matter of fact.”

“He sounds like a delight,” Mindy said ironically, shaking her head.

“Oh, yeah. A real winner. Anyway, I got out here and started wallowing. All the alone time, you know? I wasn't answering my phone, so Jason and Katie got worried and asked Riley to stop by and check on me. That’s all, the whole sordid tale. There’s nothing going on between us.”

Mindy had turned away from the stove and now gave Chelle her undivided attention. “Wow, I’m so sorry. That is crazy, I don’t even know what to say.”

Chelle smiled and looked back down at baby Serena who had fallen asleep, “No, it’s fine. It actually feels good to say the whole thing out loud, get a little perspective on it. I wasn't fishing for sympathy, honest! I only told you because I didn’t want you to get the wrong idea about Riley and me.”

She nodded and turned back to the stove, “So how long is Riley planning on staying?”

Good question, Chelle thought to herself, I would love to know the answer to that myself! “I don’t know,” Chelle responded, her voice a study in intentional casual inflection, “He hasn’t really said.”

Mindy looked out the window towards her husband and Riley, “I know it’s none of my business, and I probably shouldn’t say anything...” she hesitated, and Chelle didn't know if she planned to go on.

“Oh, now you have to tell me,” Chelle encouraged, “Some of the best conversations in history have started with that opening line. I mean...probably some of the worst, as well, but let's not think about that part right now...”

The two women laughed, and Mindy looked more at ease. Chelle's joke had done the trick.

“Look, I don’t know you that well, but I like you,” Mindy confided, “And if my intuition is correct, you care about Riley. A lot.”

“I do,” Chelle nodded, keeping her voice neutral, not sure if she was going to like what Mindy had to say but certain that she needed to hear it.

Mindy put the burners on low and moved away from the stove to sit directly across from Chelle. “I’ve known Riley for almost a decade now. I’ve seen him with other women. A couple I think he genuinely cared about.”

Why did those words feel like a punch to Chelle’s solar plexus?

Of course he had cared about women. He had said himself that he had been in a couple of serious relationships. It had nothing to do with her. She breathed out slowly, doing her level best not to let her internal turmoil show up on her face.

Mindy continued, “But I’ve never – NEVER – seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you. I’ve never seen him be affectionate with anyone, even his more serious girlfriends. I had to pick my jaw up off the floor when he kissed you right before he headed outside.”

“Me too, to be honest,” Chelle confided.

Mindy smiled, “Sometimes people don’t see what’s right in front of them. They are just too close to the situation. I know you’ve known him a lot longer than I have, and it’s not my place to say, but…”

“But what?” Chelle was on pins and needles.

“I just think…”

The sliding glass door slid open, “Alright ladies, chicken Saté, fresh off the grill.” Tommy held a plate stacked with chopped up chicken on kabob sticks. It smelled and looked delicious.

Mindy stood and reached for Serena, “Great! Let me put this little princess down and we can eat.”

As she took the baby from Chelle’s arms she winked at her conspiratorially and Chelle felt like she might have just made a very good, new friend.

Riley loved watching Chelle. He was blown away by how people responded to her, and how she seemed to blend seamlessly into any new situation. His friends obviously loved her, and she seemed to be having a good time, as well.

After dinner, they all decided to go into the game room to play some cards, and Chelle was currently killing them at gin rummy. She looked so relaxed, like she didn’t have a care in the world, and Riley thought that he could sit here, watching her laughing and having fun, for the rest of his life and never tire of it.

They heard the baby cry and Mindy stood, “That’s my cue.”

“Yeah, that's probably our cue, too. It’s getting late, we ought to get going.” Riley stood and gave Mindy a hug.

“Do you mind if I go say goodbye to the baby?” Chelle asked.

“Of course.” Mindy threaded her arm through Chelle’s as the women headed up the stairs. As he watched her leave, he realized how perfectly she fit into his world. In fact, he realized that maybe it wasn't even so much that Chelle fit into his world, but more that his world had always had a Chelle-sized hole in it, just waiting for her to come along and take her rightful place.

He knew this was a dangerous train of thought, but damn. The evidence was difficult to ignore. None of his family or friends from home had ever met his military family. Not even Eddie. He tended to keep those worlds separate. But Chelle just wove right in. No fuss, no muss. She was perfectly matched.

Tommy remained seated and took a long swig of his beer. “So, you still planning on heading down to New Orleans?”

Riley sat back down, “Yeah.” He picked up his Bud and took a drink.

“Really?” Tommy didn’t look convinced. In fact, he seemed a little 'smirky' for Riley's liking.

Riley shrugged. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

Tommy’s eyes moved to the stairs where Chelle had just been.

“We’re just friends.” Riley spoke harshly, he felt his jaw lock and a tension rolled through him.

Tommy was a good guy, they had served four tours together. He would do anything for him. He trusted him with his life. But this was not a subject that was open for discussion.

Tommy smiled, “Look, I know we haven’t seen a lot of each other the last couple of years since I got out, but I do know you. And she’s it for you. She’s the real deal.”

Riley did not want to go down this path. “We’re just friends,” he stated again, firmly.

Tommy leaned forward resting his arms on the card table, “I don’t know if you’re just too dumb to realize it or too chicken shit to admit it. But either way, it doesn’t change the fact that you love that girl. And if I’m not mistaken, she loves you. The question is - what are you going to do about it?”

“Nothing.” Riley knew he sounded angry, and he also knew his friend was just trying to look out for him.

But Tommy didn’t know him like he thought he did. He had only known Riley since he had joined the military. The man he was now wasn’t the totality of who he was. There was a lot Tommy didn’t know.

Tommy reclined in his chair, “Do you remember the night that I broke things off with Mindy, and you came over and told me that if I didn’t make things right with her you were gonna kick my ass?”

Riley sighed. He had always suspected that somehow that night would come back to bite him in the ass. He’d been waiting for it. Here it was.

He made it a rule to never get involved in other peoples personal lives. Too messy. Too much potential downside, almost zero potential upside. But, dammit, when he'd seen Mindy crying and she told him that Tommy had told her he needed space, he'd felt like he had to step in.

He had known that Tommy thought he wasn’t good enough for Mindy, that she would be better off with someone else.

Tommy came from the south side of Boston, a pretty rough area. He was an only child. He never knew his dad and his mom had had more boyfriends than Tommy could count.

Mindy grew up on a farm in New Hampshire. Her family was wealthy. Her parents were still together, happily married for over forty years. She had an older brother and a little sister, both of which she was extremely close to.

Tommy had gotten drunk one night and told Riley that he felt like he would bring her down. That he didn’t deserve someone as good as she was. Riley told him he was right, she was too good for him - but that, rather than breaking things off, he should pull his head out of his ass, accept that fact, quit his bitching, thank his lucky stars, and make sure he took good care of her. Tommy had looked unconvinced.

Then, the very next week he saw Mindy leaving the base, tears streaming from her face and he had just felt like he needed to step in.

Maybe it was just that he had been missing his younger brothers and felt guilty for bailing on them.

Whatever the reason, after he had gone and given Tommy a push in the right direction, Tommy heeded his advice. He went after Mindy and they were engaged that very night. Riley had been glad, at the time, that he'd broken his own personal credo to never get involved in peoples' business. But, as he was discovering, no good deed goes unpunished.

Now, the shoe was on the other foot, and Tommy felt free to intervene in
his
affairs.

“Yeah, I remember.”

“You told me the truth. You said that if I let her walk away because I had some bullshit notion that she would be better off without me, then I was the dumbest asshole you ever met and that she really would deserve better.”

“It’s not the same thing. You and Mindy had been together for years. Chelle and I are just friends.”

“Man, you guys may not have the title, but you’re together. Two seconds around you two and that is blatantly clear.”

Riley shook his head. Tommy didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. He and Chelle didn’t have what Tommy and Mindy had. And even if they did, it was completely different...because Chelle really
did
deserve better than him.

“Listen, just think about what I said, alright? Because, as we all know, I have been with my fair share of women. Some would say I'm a damn expert on the subject. And that one? She’s special, Riley. Girls like her don’t come around that often.”

“There are no girls like her.” Riley heard the words come out of his mouth and he knew they were true. There was no other girl in the world like Rachelle Thomas.

Tommy smiled. “My point exactly. So don’t lose her.”

Riley shook his head. “I never had her.”

--- ~ ---

Riley needed to get some space, clear his head. Taking a few deep breaths didn't seem to be working. He had to get a little distance if he was going to get his head on straight. As it was, he didn't seem to be able to think of anything other than how incredibly sexy Chelle looked, and smelled, and...hell...even sounded. Just hearing her voice, saying even the most innocuous thing, could apparently get him hard in .0005 seconds.

After they had gotten back from Tommy’s, he had asked if she wanted stay up and watch a movie, like they had when they were teenagers. She agreed. He said he would run down to the video store he had seen on the corner and pick something up.

The nice thing about it was that he really did want to veg out and watch a movie. It worked out well that way. But the main reason he had suggested the activity was to create an errand that would buy him a little time alone (and fresh air to boot) so that he could process what was going on between them. Between the last couple days with Chelle and his talks with both Eddie and Tommy, he was overwhelmed with conflicting thoughts and emotions.

On the one hand, he knew Tommy was right. There was absolutely no other girl in the world like Chelle. He knew that his feelings for her were real. He also knew that his current coping mechanisms (which basically consisted of pushing those feelings down and trying to ignore them) were not working. His feelings for Chelle grew stronger with every minute they spent together.

But, on the flip side, he also knew that Eddie was right. He was not the man for Chelle. Eddie’s words kept echoing in his head.

“
I know you
.”

“
You’re not what she needs
.”

“
She deserves better
.”

All of which were true.

He knew that, logically. But, emotionally and physically, he was having a tough time getting on board with that line of reasoning.

He lived by instincts, he always had. Sometimes, like when he was in his teens after his mom passed away, those instincts had gotten him in trouble. But as an adult, and especially as a
Marine Special Ops (MARSOC), those instincts had saved, not only his life, but the lives of other men and women during missions.

In thi
s case though, he was receiving conflicting instructions from those instincts. That certainly was not a feeling he was used to, and he didn't like it one bit.

His protective instincts were telling him to keep his distance. Keep things G rated. Don’t let her get too close. Save her from him.

Then there were his base instincts. Well...those told a different story. They said that he needed her as much as she needed him. He needed to touch her. Taste her. Feel her. Claim her. Love her. Make her forget anyone else had ever existed outside of the two of them. Show her that he needed her more than he needed his next breath.

Damn.

The more time he spent around her, the stronger his base instincts became, and the more his protective instincts waned.

That's why he needed this reprieve, needed these few minutes to try and make sense of the battle that was raging inside of him.

He wasn't having much luck.

As he approached the video store, he felt a vibration coming from his pocket. He was so lost in thought that it startled him. He reached in, pulled out his phone, and saw that it was a text from Mindy:

“Great seeing you 2night. So glad you got to meet the little princess. LOVED Chelle! She is a keeper! SO get your head out of your ass and make that happen! Luv Ya! XOXO”

He had to smile. Mindy certainly did know how to get to the heart of the matter, and she had no problem telling it how it was. That was part of the reason why she was so good for Tommy - she kept him in line.

He smiled as his thumbs flew across the keypad. “Good seeing you guys too. Serena is amazing. Thanks for the pep talk. Will work on removing head from ass.”