My Last - Riley & Chelle (10 page)

Immediately she admonished herself for having those thoughts. The very last thing Riley needed was to have her drooling all over him.

She just needed to be his friend. Too bad it couldn’t be friends with benefits, she thought.

As she laid still, trying to calm down enough to go to sleep, she was consumed by the feeling of rightness that being held in Riley’s arms inspired in her. She felt like a puzzle piece that had finally been fitted down into place with its perfect match with a satisfying snap.

She had never before spent the night in a man’s arms. Obviously, she had slept beside David, but
beside
was the operative word there. David liked his space. He had been very clear on setting boundaries. The perimeters of her side of the bed and his were very clearly drawn. He had always claimed that he felt claustrophobic if she even accidentally rolled onto his side in her sleep.

Chelle remembered, even as a little girl, watching movies where a man and woman would fall asleep or wake up in each other’s arms. She had always thought it looked so romantic. It had looked like it felt so cozy, so warm, so loving, so comfortable, so…safe.

She allowed herself to imagine, just for a moment, what it would be like if this was her reality. If she and Riley were together and she could fall asleep in his arms each night.

She felt the air leave her lungs in a rush. No. She couldn't even allow her mind to entertain that fantasy. It was too much even to wish for, and she was a realist. She knew that was never going to happen.

Riley could wake up any minute and she would be headed back to her own room, like a naughty kid sent to bed without supper. It was fine to enjoy the physical contact with Riley while it lasted, but starting to fantasize about it possibly continuing was a dangerous and STUPID road to go down. She wouldn't allow it.

No, she determined, just enjoy what you get while it lasts.

Since she couldn’t change the past and certainly could not foresee the future, she figured the best thing she could do was to just live in the present...which wasn't actually all bad, come to think of it, because the present felt very, very good.

--- ~ ---

Riley felt something different, something off, as he drifted up from sleep. Even before he opened his eyes, he could sense that there was an important shift in his circumstances, something that he should be aware of. As he came fully awake, it did not take long to discover the source of this sensation.

It was Chelle, draped across him, sound asleep. Whoa. His arm cradled her to him and his hand rested on her hip. Without consciously planning to do so he tightened his grip on her. She made a small noise and snuggled in tighter to him.

Again...whoa.

Was this a dream, he wondered as he took in his surroundings. He was on the couch where he had gone to sleep the night before and it was still dark outside. No clues there as to whether this was reality or dreamland.

It felt real, though.
She
felt real.

The large erection he was sporting certainly felt real.

But why was she out here and not in her room? Had she gotten scared in the middle of the night? Had she sleep walked?

So many questions flooded his mind that it was difficult to think about them one by one.

Why hadn’t she woken him? Had she tried? How could he possibly sleep through someone lying down with him?

He had been a light sleeper his entire life and his military experience had only cemented that trait even further. He had been trained to wake at even the slightest sound or movement.

Looking down at her sweet face resting against his shoulder, Riley knew that regardless of the circumstance which had brought her there, this was exactly where Chelle belonged. He didn’t know how long he had been asleep with her there, but he knew he wasn’t going to waste another second sleeping when he could be spending that time reveling in the pure, sweet sensation of her body lying on top of his.

At that very moment Chelle raised her head slightly, opened her beautiful brown eyes sluggishly, and blinked several times.

“Hi there, Sleeping Beauty,” Riley smiled.

She blinked again. A look of confusion played across her face but was almost instantly replaced with a more serious look of concern.

“Riley,” She intoned gravely as she sat up on her elbow, “Are you okay?”

“Of course, you barely weigh anything.” He pulled her closer to him. He didn’t know why he did, it just felt so good to have her near.

“Oh, no,” she blushed, “I meant because of the dream…I mean nightmare, or uh...terror or whatever.”

His chest constricted as a feeling of dread filled him. Riley quickly moved from under her and sat on the edge of the couch running his hands through his hair, “I had a…I didn’t even know I…when…what did I…”

Chelle sat up beside him and rested her hand on his arm, “No, nothing, I mean you just…I heard you yell so I came out to make sure you were okay. You were…I mean you looked like you were having a bad dream so I called your name and you didn’t hear me, so I just laid beside you.”

He didn’t know what to say. He had been having those dreams for a couple of months now. It was part of the reason he knew it was time to get out. It was like his subconscious' way of telling him it was time.

But no one knew about them outside of his unit. He hadn’t gone and talked to the shrink that had been suggested, and now he was wishing he would have. The last thing he wanted was to seem weak in front of Chelle. A silent curse crossed his lips.

Chelle started to get up, a blush creeping up her cheeks as she stammered, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have stayed, I just wanted to be here, you know if you needed me and I just fell asleep and…”

Without thinking about it he reached out and grabbed her hand, “I liked waking up with you in my arms. I just, I don’t really know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I’ll let you get back to bed.” She tried to move away but he didn’t let go of her hand.

“Chelle,” He looked up at her, He knew he shouldn’t ask her to stay but he couldn’t help himself. “Don’t go.”

Without hesitation she nodded and he laid down on his side. She sat down and slowly lowered her body, curling herself into him as he draped his arm around her. No questions, no strange looks, no expectations. She just laid silently beside him.

He shouldn’t be surprised. It was Chelle. She had always just
got
him. Just accepted him for who he was.

Now more than ever he wished that he was the type of guy that
was
cutout for the house, kids, and wife. That would be a dream come true, actually. If he were that kind of guy, he would do anything in his power to convince Chelle to be his. He would hold her and never let her go.

Still, it was useless to think that way. He knew that was not the case and it never would be. When it came down to it, he would have to let her go.

But...not now. Not tonight. Tonight he could hold her.

He loved the way her tiny frame felt pressed tightly against him. She moved, snuggling closer to him and he knew he would need to devote all of his energy to thinking about anything
other
than the way her ass felt pressed snugly against his groin if he was going to keep his body under control.

His attempts to think of baseball stats or saying the alphabet backwards were thwarted when a lock of Chelle’s hair tickled his nose. Gently, he brushed her hair back from her face and the smell of coconut and cinnamon assaulted his senses.

The fine strands felt silky soft to the touch, so smooth. He ran his fingers through her dark lustrous locks, his fingers grazing her scalp as he smoothed her hair down and tucked her even closer to him.

She made a sound that Riley had only ever heard women make while they were making love. His fingers itched to touch her again just so he could hear that sweet sound.

She moved against him as if searching out connection and his body responded to her curves aligned against him. He didn’t want her to feel him growing harder and think that this was something it wasn’t so he moved slightly back.

Asking her to stay with him was not to fulfill something physical. Their connection had always been an emotional one and tonight he felt like he needed her beside him.

He knew in his mind and heart that her nestled beside him had nothing to do with sex. It just seemed that the area below his belt decided that there was definitely more than emotional fulfillment that needed to come out of this sleeping arrangement.

Normally the thought of spending a night destined to put him in the blue ball hall of fame, would not be his idea of a good time...but as far as he was concerned, this was one of the best nights of his life. He knew that, no matter how long he lived, all he would have to do was
close his eyes and he would be able to remember it, clear as a bell – the way she felt, the way she sounded, and the way she smelled of coconut and cinnamon.

Chelle reached her hands over her head and stretched her legs out straight. She arched her back, enjoying the feeling of slowly coming awake as she stretched and unkinked her muscles. Her feet hit something solid, then, and she opened her eyes only to realize that she was on the couch.

Alone.

The memory of the night before came flooding back to her mind.

Coming out to check on Riley, lying down beside him. And the very best part - him asking her to stay with him.

Warmth at the sweet memory welled inside her and she felt a smile spread across her face. She still couldn’t quite get over how much of an impact those two words he uttered to her in the middle of the night had had on her.

“Don’t go.”

His voice had been filled with equal parts plea and command.

When she laid down beside him, she thought for a moment that something might happen between them. That his invitation had implied more than just sleep was on the agenda.

She had even scooted closer to him, trying to subtly move things in a more intimate direction. But, to her extreme and utter disappointment, he must have thought that she needed more room because he had adjusted so that she had more space. That had been a bummer, but she hadn’t let it dampen her enjoyment of the experience.

She had spent half the night in Riley’s arms. Before she had drifted off to sleep, she had felt him run his fingers through her hair before pulling her closer to him. The sensation was so sweet, so intense, that she had almost cried.

With that one small gesture, Riley had made her feel like the most special girl in the world. Like she was somehow precious to him.

She sat up just as she heard the shower turn off. Hmm, the vision of Riley in the shower, naked and dripping wet...not a bad way to start a girl’s day, she decided.

Her phone buzzed, interrupting her mental peep
show. Picking it up she saw it was her brother Eddie calling. She swiped her phone screen to pick up the call and said, “Hey, how is Emily feeling?”

“Better. Her fever broke. Now she’s just dealing with itching like crazy. How are you doing?”

“I’m okay.” She clamped her mouth shut before she could say another word. It occurred to her that she didn’t know if he knew that Riley was there. Suddenly, she felt like a teenager entertaining a boy when her parents weren’t home.

Not that she had ever done that or anything! She had been the quintessential good girl. But, you know. She assumed this is what that would feel like.

“Jason told me Riley stopped by to check on you.” Eddie’s tone was accusatory.

“Yep, he did.” Chelle planned to keep her answers short and sweet. She wasn’t about to reveal anything that could get misconstrued in Eddie’s over-protective-big-brother mind.

“Is he still there?” He asked, his voice even more intensely suffused with accusation.

“Yep, he is.” She was not going to change her strategy mid-stream. She was staying the course. She knew if he got her talking she would end up saying too much, she always did.

“Where is he sleeping?” Eddie’s voice sounded dangerously close to murderous.

What Chelle
wanted
to say was “NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS” - but she decided it was not a good idea to poke the bear, so she went with, “On the couch.”

She tried to infuse her voice with a righteous indignation that she did not currently feel.

She had no idea if she succeeded. But she did not have long to ponder it because Riley chose that exact moment to appear looking like six feet four inches of man-candy.

Holy mother of pearl! He was dripping with sex appeal. Dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, clean shaven, and hair still wet from the shower. She could practically smell the freshly applied cologne, although he was far enough away that she knew it must be in her head.

Good thing she was already sitting because she wasn’t sure her legs would have supported her if she had been standing – and suddenly dropping her ass into a chair upon first sight of him probably wasn't the impression she wanted to put out.

“Chelle? Chelle, are you still there?” She heard her brother’s raised voice on the other end of the line.

“Wha…oh yeah...what did you say?” She felt as though she had been hit by a truck (a sexy truck!) and was having a hard time focusing.

“I asked when you’re planning on coming home,” Eddie’s frustration with the fact that he couldn’t order her to come home right this minute was painfully obvious.

“Oh, well, I uh...I don’t have to be back to work for a few more days. And I can always try to get another week covered. So...yeah. I'm really not sure. To be honest, at this point, I'm just taking it a day at a time.”

See? That was why she had initially implemented the ‘short and sweet’ plan. Too bad Riley walked in and short-circuited her brain so that she couldn't focus on maintaining it.

Damn Riley, and his distracting sexiness!

Riley motioned to her, asking if she was hungry, and she nodded. She sighed inwardly. She could get used to Riley Sloan cooking her breakfast...

Wait, no! No! She absolutely would
not
let herself get used to Riley cooking breakfast! That would be a sure-fire recipe for heartache.

But, after spending
less than two days with Riley, things that she would have settled for before were now deal-breakers. Riley was setting a pretty high bar for other men to live up to, whether he was aware of it or not.

“So, how long is Riley planning on staying? I thought he was supposed to fly home a couple of nights ago.”

“I’m not sure, we haven’t talked about it.”

“You haven’t talked about it?” Eddie did not sound convinced. In fact, he sounded downright suspicious.

“Nope.” Good, she thought. Back up on the ‘short and sweet’ horse.

“If you’re doing fine, then why is he still there, Chelle?”

“Sightseeing.” She answered honestly.

“Tell Riley to call me,” Eddie barked, “I’ve gotta go put calamine lotion on Emily.”

With that, he disconnected the call.

Chelle shook her head as she placed her phone back in her purse. She loved her brother to death. She really did. He had done his best to step up after Emily’s mom,
Lacey, had bounced. Sometimes though, she wished he would see her less like his little sister and more like his equal. She knew he thought that he was helping by being so protective of her, but she was a grown woman!

I mean, hell, she thought to herself - if David hadn't turned out to be such a weasel, I would have been a married woman in a few weeks!

Whoa.

That thought made her feel slightly panicky. Would she really have been happy being married to David? Not the lying-cheater he turned out to be, that answer was obvious. But what about the David she had thought she was marrying?

And...wasn't it kind of telling that this was the first time that she had ever thought to ask herself that question?

And the answer was...No. She knew now, beyond a shadow of a doubt she would not have been happy.

Again...whoa.

She sat back on the couch and pulled her knees up, hugging them against her chest. Thoughts and questions began flooding her mind.

Why had she said yes when David had proposed?

Had she really thought he would make a good husband?

Why did she never questioned him about the odd hours he had been keeping?

Why had she stayed with him when he broke so many promises to her?

What the hell could she possibly have been thinking?

She knew that as a teen she had loved David. But as an adult, had she really seen him for who he was...and loved that man?

Well, at least that last question was easy enough to answer. No, she had most definitely
not
seen David for who he was.

Or maybe she had seen him, on some level, deep down and had subconsciously chosen to ignore it. Because the truth was, after filtering out the initial shock, anger and embarrassment - she had to admit it. She knew that his behavior, although reprehensible, was actually pretty in-line with who he was.

At first she didn’t think she
could
admit that to herself. Not because it would be heart-breaking or anything like that. It was just…what kind of a person did that make
her
, since she had been his fiancé?

An overwhelming wave of anxiety crashed over her. It was becoming difficult to breath. It felt almost as though an elephant were sitting on her chest. Sitting up straight, she put her feet back down on the floor and tried to take deep breaths to calm herself.

Riley came around the corner from the kitchen at that moment, and the second he saw her, he rushed to her side. He told her to put her head between her legs and breathe slowly in through her nose and out through her mouth. His voice was low and soothing and she tried to latch onto it as something she could anchor herself to.

She did her best to follow the instructions he was delivering in his ultra-soothing tone, trying desperately to get herself calmed down. She really did not want Riley to see her like this. Her arms felt heavy as they dangled down beside her, her shoulders resting on her knees.

Riley’s large hand was now making slow circles over her back. Mmmmm....it felt good. It made her forget all of the questions that had nearly caused her to have a panic attack. All of those concerns melted under Riley's comforting touch.

He leaned down closer to her. “Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth,” he reminded her.

She was actually feeling much better. In fact, she was breathing just fine now. But...and this was the big BUT...she knew that as soon as she sat up, he would remove his hand, and she wanted to enjoy that lovely sensation just a little longer.

“When you’re ready, I made pancakes.” His voice reminded her of what he used to sound like as a teen when he would be over visiting Eddie and they would find ice cream in the freezer or a movie they liked came on. It was a light tone, less weighed down by whatever difficulty he might have been facing.

Well, she thought, it looks like breakfast calls.

Sitting up, she immediately felt the loss of his hand leaving her back. Although she was disappointed, she tried to put on a bright smile as she said, “Great, I’m starved.”

She got off the couch and he stopped her, much like he had the night before, by grabbing her wrist, “Hey, are you alright?”

She looked down at him and realized that physically she might be fine, but emotionally...well, she was treading in very dangerous territory. “Yep, I’m feeling better. I just got a little, I don’t know, light-headed.”

“Yeah, you looked like you were about to pass out.” He rubbed his thumb along her wrist and it sent tingles throughout her body.

They stared at each other, neither one moving for several long moments. A current of electricity ran between them.

Finally realizing that this would not help her stay out of dangerous emotional territory, she pulled her hand away and headed toward the kitchen. Even though that was the very last thing in the world she wanted to do.