My Favorite Senior Moments (11 page)

Edna looked at him quizzically. “What do you mean?” Then she realized the mistake she'd made with the syrup. She apologized.

“Let's go out for breakfast—to the Waffle House,” Henry said.

Edna quickly grabbed her jacket before he changed his mind!

Today's Thoughts

The righteous eat to their hearts' content.

P
ROVERBS
13:25

Lord, thank you for providing abundance in every way—food, clothing, shelter, caring family and friends, and, most of all, your eternal love and compassion.

55

A Plateful of Love

Emily stepped up
to the chef's table in the upscale dining room and admired the beautiful food spread. She could order eggs cooked in any form––with trimmings to boot. An omelet with tomatoes and cheese and olives and mushrooms and bacon sounded fabulous. She never prepared such intricate delicacies at home. Why not give in and have the works?

But then she thought better of the idea. She'd vowed before setting foot on the cruise ship that she would not overindulge. There was more to a cruise than food. Or was there? “You only live once,” she chided herself softly.

Then she noticed a phrase on the menu board that was new to her:
Huevos Ahogados
. “All right,” she decided. “I'll give it a go.”

She ordered the dish and returned to her table with her order number. A waiter would bring her the food as soon as it was ready.

Minutes later a young man balancing a tray of breakfast treats stopped at her table. “One order of
Huevos Ahogados
,” he said.

“Right here,” Emily said, raising her hand slightly. “Thank you,” she said as the waiter slid the hot plate in front of her. “I'm curious,” she said, eyeing the eggs covered in a semi-thin salsa. “What do the words
Huevos Ahogados
mean?”

“Drowned eggs,” the waiter replied.

Emily flinched. “Drowned? What a peculiar word for such an attractive dish.”

“Drowned with love,” he added.

“Mmmm, that's my kind of cooking!” And with that Emily picked up her fork and dug into her plateful of love.

Today's Thoughts

You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the L
ORD
your God.

J
OEL
2:26

It's fun to try new dishes and to enjoy the plenty you provide, Lord. Thank you for always giving me what I need.

56

Iced Water

Daniel sat down
at his assigned table in the dining room of Mission Hills Senior Living. He looked at his tablemates and smiled. What would they be up to today? Every meal seemed to bring up a new issue—whether a spill, or a mistake in food choice, or a misspoken word that caused hurt feelings in another. He vowed to keep a low profile himself. He didn't need any more to handle. Being old was enough!

Just then Jason, their waiter, came by and took beverage orders. The words “iced tea” echoed around the table. It seemed all four wanted the same drink.
Good. Off to a fine start!
Daniel thought.

Each person ordered his or her lunch––soups and sandwiches or salads––and then sat quietly waiting to be served their food. Within minutes, Bill, the man with the long, white beard, piped up. “Where's my iced tea?”

“It'll be here shortly,” Daniel asserted, trying to head off a showdown between Bill and Jason, something his table companion was likely to take on if he didn't get his way when he wanted it. Minutes passed and lunch was served. Still no iced tea for anyone. Now Daniel was getting hot under the collar. He spoke to the waiter the next time he passed by the table, water pitcher in hand. “We each ordered a glass of iced tea.”

“And we've been waiting quite a long time now,” said Emily, the woman on Daniel's left.

“Sorry about that. I'll get right on it.” The waiter disappeared, but
soon returned with a bucket of ice cubes and a pitcher of water. He dropped a few cubes into each of the four glasses, plopped a tea bag on top of the ice in each glass, and then covered that with cold water. “Enjoy!” And with that he sailed away to the kitchen.

“Well, I'll be!” Bill said. “I'm going to report him the minute I finish my iced water!”

“I guess this memory thing is contagious,” said Daniel. “Jason's been hanging around us old folks so long, he's becoming one of us—a member of the Senior Moments Club—even if he is only 21.”

Daniel's friends all laughed and agreed.

Today's Thoughts

The L
ORD
is the stronghold of my life.

P
SALM
27:1

Lord, when situations and people annoy me, please help me say what I mean… but not say it meanly. Patience and compassion are always in order regardless of the circumstances.

57

Half Full?

Sheila had a
ritual, and she liked to follow it without fail. When sitting at a dining table, whether at home or at a restaurant, she always ordered two glasses of liquid—to be served half full.
Never
up to the top. If a waiter made that mistake and served a full glass or showed a generous spirit by pouring just above the halfway mark, Sheila would ask him to start over and do exactly what she wanted. She simply didn't get why servers couldn't do it right the first time. (They probably wondered about her too.)

When asked one day why she preferred her orange juice, or milk, or soda to be served in half-glass portions, she said without missing a beat, “I look at life as a ‘glass half full,' and I'm married to a man who has a ‘glass half empty' point of view. This custom of mine is a reminder to me to always see life, no matter how old I get, as half full. That means there is more life to live, and it's my choice how I fill the rest of it.”

“What about your husband? He'd look at your half-full glass and consider it half empty. Is that true for his life?”

“Yes! He sees his life as almost over, and he feels powerless to do anything to change it. Poor dear! But that's his problem, not mine.”

With that comment, Sheila drank up and asked for a refill—a half refill, that is.

Today's Thoughts

A heart at peace gives life to the body.

P
ROVERBS
14:30

Lord, thank you for giving me life in
all
its fullness—no matter what the circumstances are and no matter who is in my life.

58

A Good Suggestion

Linda picked up
a knife and tried to cut into the grilled chicken breast in front of her at Bob's Barbecue. “Must be a tough old bird like me,” she commented with a chuckle. “It didn't even make a dent.” She thought it was rude to pick up chicken and eat it, so she once again took the table knife to the chicken. It made a dent but didn't cut.

Her friend Harvey, sitting on the opposite side of the table, gawked. “Ask for another knife. That one must need a good sharpening. Or you can use mine, if you want.” He handed his to her even as he licked barbecue sauce off his fingers on his other hand.

Linda waved it away. “No thanks. Your knife is gooey.” She moved on to the buttermilk biscuit, eager to slit it open and smear it with butter and jam. The biscuit crumbled from the pressure of the knife—it didn't slice either. “Oh for pity's sake!” she murmured. “This is too much work. I should have ordered a bowl of clam chowder.”

Harvey picked up Linda's knife to try it on his chicken. “Works perfectly for me,” he noted. “Why don't you give it another try—this time with the cutting edge facing down?”

Linda's face flushed. Leave it to Harvey, a retired butcher, to figure out her mistake. She threw him a kiss and exclaimed, “My hero!”

Today's Thoughts

There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.

P
ROVERBS
23:18

Lord, how wonderful to have people close by who will help me even when I pull a silly stunt like trying to cut meat with the knife upside down. But it's even more wonderful that you are with me and in me. I'm never at a loss for your comfort and guidance.

59

A Little Service, Please

Frank and his
wife, Katherine, moved to Brentwood Senior Homes for one specific reason: meals. Katherine would no longer have to cook, and Frank could have his choice of food at every sitting instead of having to eat his wife's cooking. He was ready for some variety after 50 years of marriage.

The first week they made friends with other residents and enjoyed sitting with them in the dining room. Frank especially liked being able to raise his hand and get immediate attention from the waitresses. A young woman would appear at his table and ask what she could do for him. What fun it was to say “iced tea,” “apple pie,” or “crackers and cheese,” and
voila
! before he knew it his request was granted. He could get used to this excellent treatment.

One morning during a holiday weekend, traffic in the dining room was heavier than usual. The regulars were entertaining visiting family members, so the wait staff was particularly stressed. Half the waiters needed for such a crowd were serving double the usual number of people.

Frank raised his hand but no one rushed to his table. Annoyed, he raised two hands and still no response. Then he whistled.

Katherine tugged on his sleeve. “Knock it off, Frank. Can't you see how busy it is in here?”

“Yes, but I live here! And I'm paying big bucks for the privilege,” he snapped. “Residents should have priority. What does it take to get a little service around here? All I want is a glass of ice water.”

Finally, a young waitress with a nametag that read GINA stopped at Frank and Katherine's table. “Sir?”

“Ice water. Ice water,” Frank said pointing at their glasses. “Our glasses are empty.”

“Right away.” Gina scampered off, and Frank settled down.

Gina returned with a bucket of ice cubes and plopped several into the empty glasses. Then she disappeared, never to return during the buffet meal.

Frank looked at his glass and sighed. “Guess this is the new way of conserving water. Give each guest a couple of ice cubes. When they melt they'll have the ice water they ordered.”

Today's Thoughts

Be patient and stand firm… Don't grumble against one another.

J
AMES
5:8-9

Lord, every opportunity I get to extend grace to others who annoy me reminds me of your patience with me when I annoy you. May I look to you for the patience I need.

60

Peace at Any Price

Burt and Babs
love Chinese food. In fact, whenever they go out to eat they inevitably choose an Oriental restaurant, and once or twice a month they order Chinese take-out. Noodles, fried rice, chow mein, and wonton soup are among their favorite dishes. Then comes the fun part at the end of the meal—breaking open the fortune cookies. Babs doesn't care much for the taste of the cookie, but the message inside is a fun surprise.

One Wednesday evening Burt walked in the front door from work hungry and ready to relax. “How about dinner at the Rickshaw and then a movie?” he suggested.

“Great idea. I have some things I want to talk to you about regarding the kids and grands. I think the family situation is getting out of hand.”

Babs got Burt's attention with that statement. He'd hoped for a quiet, peaceful evening without any stress, but from what Babs just shared, this wasn't going to be the night for that.

They arrived at the Rickshaw, and Burt could feel the tension building. Babs seemed to sit on the edge of her seat through the entire meal. “What's eating at you?” he asked. “What have the kids done now? It's always something with that family.”

“Today was the last straw. I called Melanie and invited her out for coffee. She agreed to meet with me for 40 minutes. Can you imagine? Not even one hour! How many people make dates with their
mothers for an exact number of minutes? That's bizarre, if you ask me.”

“Hey, Babs, aren't you being a little harsh? I mean she and Ben have pretty full lives with four kids, two dogs, two careers, and a big house to manage. I figure we're lucky to see them at all. Forty minutes is better than no minutes.”

Babs blew out a breath. “I knew you'd take their side because Ben's your son and Melanie's not a blood relative.”

“Don't start that again.”

Babs lowered her head and pushed around the remaining rice on her plate. “But, Burt, not only did I get only 40 minutes of her precious time, but she played with her smart phone, cutting me off to take calls or respond to texts. What kind of visit is that? I've had it! You know how hard I've tried to be her friend. Well, I'm running out of patience and endurance.” Babs dabbed her mouth with a napkin and reached for her fortune cookie. “Maybe there'll be some encouraging words in here.” She split open the cookie and pulled out the slip of paper and read it aloud: “If you want to have peaceful communication with your loved ones, get a phoneless cord!”