Mr. Darcy's Proposal (15 page)

Jane blushed and looked down at the floor.

“My dear, dear Jane,” said Mrs. Bennet. “I am so happy! I do not know how I will sleep tonight after such good news. I was sure you could not be beautiful for nothing! I knew this would happen. Did I not tell you so when he first came into Hertfordshire last year? I thought it very likely then that he would marry you and I was right. He is the handsomest young man I have ever seen.”

As she listened to her mother, Elizabeth could feel the flush of embarrassment spreading across her face at what Darcy must be thinking of this outburst. She wished desperately he was not there to hear it. Looking around, she noticed he had walked to the window and was staring out—one of the things he tended to do when he wished to ignore what was going on in the room.

The moment Mrs. Bennet stopped to draw a breath, Mr. Bennet interrupted. “Yes, yes, he is very handsome indeed, but he would have to be much more than just handsome or even rich to deserve our Jane,” he said with a smile, giving Jane’s hand a squeeze. “I believe he is a very kind and caring man and will take good care of you, my dear child. Now I believe I have had enough excitement for one day. Perhaps you would all leave me to rest.”

“Yes, yes, Papa, we will go now. I did not mean to tire you out,” said Jane sweetly.

“Seeing you happy was well worth the effort it cost me. Come, give me another kiss, my dear,” said her father. As everyone began to filter out of the room, Mr. Bennet called to his daughter. “Stay for a moment, Lizzy, I would speak with you.” When the others including Darcy had left, Elizabeth sat on the edge of the bed.

“I understand you had another game of chess with Mr. Darcy this afternoon,” she said, fluffing the pillows behind her father’s head to make him more comfortable.

“I have enjoyed our games. Although he does not have much to say, he has proven a formidable opponent.”

“You know he is not comfortable with making small talk,” said Elizabeth.

“The true measure of a man is not what he says—it is what he does,” replied Mr. Bennet.

“And after spending more time with Mr. Darcy, what do you think of him now?”

“Has he treated you well?” asked Mr. Bennet.

“Yes, he has been kind and thoughtful.”

“Then it does not matter what I think of Mr. Darcy. It only matters what
you
think of him,” her father said.

“Are you asking me?” said Elizabeth.

“No, I believe that is now a very personal matter between the two of you.”

Elizabeth was surprised at her father’s response and relieved he did not require more of an answer. “I will return after supper to read to you if you are feeling well enough,” she said, kissing her father on the cheek.

“I will have to check my extensive social calendar to see if I have an opening this evening,” he replied.

Elizabeth laughed, amazed that in spite of how ill he was he could still tease her. “Until later, then,” she said moving to the door.

“Lizzy?”

“Yes, Papa.”

“You seem to be spending quite a bit of time here with me. Are you certain you are not neglecting your husband?” asked Mr. Bennet.

Elizabeth bit her lip as she often did when she was thinking. “I believe he understands,” she answered. “Now you promised to rest.”

“Ah, that is all people ever say to me these days—rest! No one ever asks me to go to a party!”

They both laughed. No one despised social gatherings as much as her father—except perhaps Mr. Darcy. As Elizabeth went downstairs she was thinking that it did not matter to her if Darcy thought she was spending too much time here at Longbourn. The excuse of her father’s illness relieved her of the necessity of having to feign interest in anything or anyone. Instead, she was able to focus all her attention on the man who was still more important to her than any other. As much as she wanted to hope for his recovery, she could tell that her father was not getting stronger.

***

Georgiana continued to stay at Netherfield and often accompanied Elizabeth to Longbourn. While Elizabeth attended to her father, Georgiana visited with the other Bennet girls. At first, she was very quiet and did not say much. Instead, she watched intently as if she was conducting a scientific study of an entirely new species. Elizabeth suspected Georgiana had spent very little time around girls her own age as she was growing up. It was not long before Georgiana began to join in their conversations, tentatively at first and then with more confidence.

Eighteen

Just a few days after a small engagement supper for Jane and Mr. Bingley, Mr. Bennet slipped away in his sleep leaving a dark pall over Longbourn. Mrs. Bennet was wild with grief and had to be sedated most of the time leaving Elizabeth to make most of the arrangements with help from Darcy. The Gardiners came from London as quickly as possible, and Elizabeth appreciated their presence and support. Mr. Gardiner was one of the only people besides Jane who could have a calming effect on Mrs. Bennet.

The day of Mr. Bennet’s service was cool and cloudy. First, there was to be a service in the church and then the one graveside. Mrs. Bennet was, of course, too distraught to leave the house, but Elizabeth insisted on going to the church. After much discussion, Darcy finally conceded. Mary went along to the church, too, but the rest of the girls stayed at home to comfort their mother and help prepare for the neighbors to visit after the service. As was the custom, none of the women from the immediate family would go to the graveside.

As the minister spoke, Elizabeth looked around the church filled with friends and neighbors from Meryton as well as those who lived on the Longbourn estate. She had attended this church all her life. Most of the time she had sat in this very pew with her father, but now it was Darcy who was at her side. Elizabeth found it difficult to focus on the minister’s words, and her mind began to sift over all that had happened in just a few short weeks.

She was married, married to a man she barely knew. Much to her surprise, Mr. Darcy had made no demands on her—time or otherwise—but lent emotional support in every way he could over the painful days she was suffering through, and for that she was very grateful. She could not understand why he had not demanded his rights as her husband, but she had been too preoccupied to give it much thought until now.

Elizabeth observed he was making a continued effort to become more acquainted with her family and had even attempted conversation with her mother. However, she still felt more comfortable keeping them as far apart as possible. On more than one occasion she had seen him wince at one of her mother’s thoughtless outbursts.

On the other hand, Darcy’s relationship with her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner was a pleasant surprise. She had observed their interactions with curiosity to see what his manner would be around her relatives from Cheapside. In the past, he had always disdained people like her uncle who were in trade. In some ways, times were changing, but there was still a decided stigma around anyone who worked for a living regardless of how successful they were.

After just a short acquaintance, Darcy treated Mr. Gardiner as an equal, and they had actually discovered some common interests they could talk about such as fishing. Elizabeth had been quite shocked one day when she overheard Mr. Darcy inviting her uncle to visit later that summer in order to take advantage of Pemberley’s fine fishing streams.

Her sister was now engaged to her beloved Mr. Bingley. Giving his permission for Jane to marry had been one of the last things her father had done, and Elizabeth knew it had brought him great happiness. In spite of Jane’s sadness over their father, she seemed to glow from within whenever she was around her fiancé. Seeing Jane so content brought Elizabeth joy, but she also envied the love she could see growing daily between the engaged couple. Suddenly, her own future seemed very bleak indeed. Contemplating the inevitable separation from Jane in the coming weeks filled her with a sadness that weighed heavily upon her heart.

Hovering nearby over the last few days had been the unpleasant Mr. Collins. She detested being around her cousin almost as much as she loved having Charlotte there. And there were changes in that family, too. Charlotte had told her in confidence that a new little Collins would make an appearance next winter. Elizabeth wondered how long it would be now before Mr. Collins began to urge what was left of the Bennet family to move out of Longbourn so he could take up residence. Every time he was nearby, Mrs. Bennet made sure to loudly bemoan the entailment that was driving her out of her home. Elizabeth tried to ignore her mother’s rude behavior, but her patience was sorely tried.

To relieve Mrs. Bennet’s mind and keep her from coming to blows with their cousin, Darcy and Bingley had found a local agent who assisted them in locating a comfortable house in Meryton for Mrs. Bennet and the girls. They had been fortunate enough to find one, available immediately, that would do quite nicely. It was not nearly as large as Longbourn, but it was very pleasantly situated in easy walking distance to her Aunt Phillips’ house.

Looking at Darcy, she wondered what he could be thinking at the moment, but as usual his face was unreadable. Did he already regret the bargain he had made? He had taken on a significant amount of the responsibility for her family—although Mr. Bingley would now share in that—in exchange for what? For her? Why had he been willing to give so much for so little in return? Was it a reflection of how much he cared for her? She knew that many men treated their wives as another possession to be shown off and disposed of as they chose. If he had wanted a bauble for his arm, he could have married any one of a hundred young women who were more socially acceptable to his status in life and would also bring a large fortune to the match. No, he must truly love her, but what did love mean to him?

***

Once back at home after the service, Elizabeth had almost no time to herself before their friends and neighbors came to the house to pay their respects and partake of some light refreshments. As Elizabeth observed the faces of her friends and neighbors, she had the odd feeling of being suspended between her old life and the new one she was about to begin.

Elizabeth observed her mother and sisters with interest. Each of the Bennet women grieved in a different way, one that was consistent with her personality. Mrs. Bennet fluttered and wept and generally kept everyone running here and there taking care of her.

Jane spent most of her time thinking about others. She comforted her mother, held Mr. Bingley’s hand tightly, and acted as the gracious hostess to their guests. Mary sought comfort in her Bible and her music. She kept mostly to herself finding some relief in quietly playing hymns on the pianoforte. Much to Mary’s delight, Georgiana asked to join her at the instrument.

Lydia’s range of behavior went from tears to laughter—at a moment’s notice. Like her mother, she seemed to be enjoying the attention and sympathy she was receiving from their guests. Elizabeth was certain that if propriety did not forbid it, Lydia would have been quite glad to dance or play cards and forget all about dreary funeral rituals.

Kitty was the surprise. Elizabeth had expected she would run wild with Lydia. Instead, Kitty concerned herself with the comforts of their visitors. She made certain their guests were taken care of and generally acted the part of a proper young lady.

Darcy quietly stayed by Elizabeth’s side until she sent him off to talk with the Gardiners while she sought out Charlotte and some other family friends. As he left, he put his hand on the back of her elbow and gave it a little squeeze. It was a very intimate gesture, and she had to admit it had sent an unexpected shiver of pleasure through her.

After visiting with nearly everyone, Elizabeth excused herself and escaped upstairs to the bedroom she and Jane had shared since childhood. It was very strange to think that she had lived in this room for more than twenty years and now it was no longer hers. While she might come back to visit, it would never be the same. In a few weeks, Longbourn would no longer belong to her family but would become home to Charlotte and Mr. Collins.

Elizabeth’s things had been packed up and removed to Netherfield long ago. Sitting at her dressing table, she thought how sad and bare the room looked without the clutter of her hair ribbons, pins, and combs. Although Jane’s belongings remained, most were in the process of being packed into the large trunk that would be used to move them to the little house she would share with her mother and sisters until her marriage to Mr. Bingley.

From this room, Elizabeth could hear the sounds of people’s voices below. It was almost impossible to pick out any one person’s voice although a few times she distinctly heard Lydia over the low hum of the crowd. Elizabeth laughed to herself. Her father had called Lydia “one of the silliest girls in England,” and she definitely had to agree.

Elizabeth examined her face in the mirror at the dressing table. Except for the sadness around her eyes, she looked much the same as she had just a few weeks ago, but so much had changed. Her mind was whirling with thoughts of her father and Darcy. Her feelings about her father were clear—his death was a wound she feared would never heal. Her feelings about her husband were much less defined. She hardly knew him. In fact, she could barely bring herself to call him by his first name.

In spite of this, the response she frequently had to Darcy’s physical touch was profound and therefore confusing. She had expected that she would only feel this way with someone she really loved. Was that just a romantic and childish notion?