Mr. Darcy Forever (29 page)

By the time she reached the restaurant, she was a nervous wreck. Not that she was very good at relaxing at the best of times - somebody with OCD never really relaxed. But today was worse. Having rushed itself upon her, time seemed to have slowed down now and the hands on the clock were creeping at an intolerably slow pace.

Sarah had chosen a table at the back of the restaurant in the little corner which she hoped was private enough to tell Mia the truth. She sat perfectly still, a glass of water between her hands as she watched the restaurant slowly filling up. Lucky, lucky people, she thought. They were here for nothing more than a lovely lunch. Did they realise how blessed they were?

Finally, Mia arrived. As ever, she was late and, as ever, she was full of apologies and excuses.

‘
You wouldn't believe the trouble I had on the tube! Honestly, whichever line I get on, there seems to be essential maintenance works, signal failures or some trespasser on the line intent on ruining everybody's day. But I'm here now,’ she said, pulling out a chair and flopping into it.

‘
Yes,’ Sarah said.

‘
You look nice,’ Mia said. ‘Is that a new dress?’

‘
Oh. Yes,’ Sarah said. ‘I suppose.’

‘
What do you think of this?’ Mia said, getting up and giving a theatrical twirl in the middle of the restaurant to show off her new skirt. ‘I found it in a charity shop. Isn't it marvellous?’

‘
It’s very short.’

‘
Of course it is. It’s a skirt and I’m not an old woman yet although you’d have me dress as one.’

‘
Look, I didn't ask you here to talk about clothes.’

Mia blanched at her sister's words and sat down again.

Sarah swallowed. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘It’s just, I want to talk to you.’

‘
I know. You said. So what's all this about? Is it about man?’ Mia asked, leaning forward conspiratorially.

‘
Yes,’ Sarah said. ‘It is.’

‘
Well, I'm listening.’

Sarah began fiddling with her cutlery. ‘I really don't know how to tell you this so I'm just going to say it.’ She swallowed and took a deep breath. ‘I’m in love with Alec.’

Silence filled the space between them and neither of them spoke for a moment. Then, Mia smiled.

‘
Is this a joke?’ she said with a little giggle. ‘I didn't know you told jokes. Is this a new Sarah? I rather like it!’

‘
I’m not telling a joke, Mia.’

Mia's smile faded slowly and was quickly replaced with a frown. ‘But I don't understand. You're
in love
with Alec?’

‘
Yes,’ Sarah said in a tiny voice.

There was another long, drawn-out silence between them and then Mia spoke. ‘But I thought – I thought he loved me. It was me he was talking to all the time at Barton Cottage. You didn’t spend any time with him at all.’ She spoke the words as if talking to herself - as if trying to work things out in her own mind. ‘You don't even like Alec!’ she added, looking up at Sarah once again.

‘
That’s not true. It never was true. Only you thought I never liked him. I was simply trying to hide my feelings from you because I knew they were wrong and I knew how much you liked him.’

‘
Okay,’ Mia said slowly, her hands hovering over the table as if she could control the situation that way. ‘Let’s get things into perspective here. You’re in love with Alec. And I’m in love with Alec.’

Sarah nodded.

‘
So we’ve got a bit of a problem here,’ Mia continued. ‘Although,’ she said with a little laugh, ‘I’m not really sure we can do anything about it seeing as he’s not bothered to call or see us since Devon.’

Sarah grimaced.

‘
What?’ Mia asked.

‘
That’s not quite true.’

‘
What isn’t quite true?’

‘
That he hasn’t called us,’ Sarah said.

‘
What do you mean? He hasn’t called me once and I’ve left no end of messages for him.’

‘
I mean, he’s called me,’ Sarah said.

‘
Did he lose my number?’ Mia asked, confused.

‘
No, he hasn’t lost your number.’

‘
Then why hasn’t he called me?’ Mia asked. ‘This is all too confusing. What’s going on?’

‘
I’m trying to tell you.’

‘
You’re scaring me, Sarah.’

‘
I don’t mean to scare you,’ Sarah said, grabbing hold of her sister’s hands and holding them tightly. ‘Just listen to me for a moment.’

‘
Okay,’ Mia said. ‘I’m listening.’

Sarah took a deep breath. ‘Alec and I have been talking every day since we came back from Devon. I told him a thousand times that this shouldn't be happening but it has happened - it
is
happening - and there isn't a lot I can do to stop it even though I've tried. I've
really
tried.’

‘
What’s happening? For goodness’ sake - just tell me!’

‘
He’s asked me to marry him,’ Sarah blurted out.

Mia sat stunned for a moment and then she slowly withdrew her hands from Sarah's. ‘What?’

‘
Alec’s asked me to marry him and I’ve said yes.’

‘
Alec? Asked you?’

Sarah nodded.

‘
When?’

‘
Yesterday.’

‘
Why didn't you tell me?’

‘
I am telling you.’

Mia shook her head. ‘No! Why didn't you tell me that all this has been going on? I've been waiting for him to call me, Sarah. You knew that! But, instead, he's been talking to you!’

‘
I didn't know what do for the best. I kept putting off telling you because I thought it might all just go away. I didn't want things to turn out like this. I didn't think they
would
.’

Mia’s eyes filled with tears. ‘How could you do this to me when you knew how I felt about him?’

‘
I didn't want this to happen,’ Sarah said, desperation in her voice. ‘You’ve got to believe me. I tried to stop it so many times but you've got to try and understand how I feel. I've never felt like this before in my life.’

‘
But-’ Mia stopped.

‘
What?’

‘
I – I-’

Sarah leaned across the table but Mia pushed her chair out from behind her and stood up and her face hardened suddenly. ‘You’ve told me what you came here to tell me.’

‘
Mia - sit down. Let's talk about this properly.’

‘
I’ve got to go.’

Before Sarah could stop her, Mia had left the restaurant. Sarah ran after her.

‘
Mia! Please!’ she shouted.

But Mia had vanished and Sarah knew that she had lost her.

‘
MIA!’ Alec’s voice cut through the noise of tourists and traffic in Bath.

Mia kept running, not daring to turn around to see how close he was.

‘
Mia –
please!
’

She wasn’t listening to him. She would shut him out from her mind and just keep running - as if she was running somewhere else, anywhere else. But where could she go? Back to the Jane Austen Centre toilets? She knew she wouldn't be able to make it in time because he was gaining on her.

Suddenly, an arm grabbed her from behind.

‘
Mia!’ he rasped, his chest heaving with the efforts of his running. He seemed out of shape. Perhaps he'd stopped running since becoming an old married man, she thought. ‘Why didn't you stop? You heard me shouting.’

Mia shook his hand from her arm but she didn't reply.

‘
Talk to me!’ he said. ‘Sweetheart!’

‘
Don’t call me that. You have no right to call me that!’

‘
Finally – a response!’ he said with a laugh.

‘
I’ve already given you my response in the Pump Room,’ Mia said.

‘
Yes, and my face is still stinging,’ Alec said. ‘But I dare say I probably deserved it.’

Mia stared at him. ‘You
probably
deserved it? You made me fall in love with you and then you married my sister!’

Alec held up his hands as if in defence. ‘I know, I know. And I can’t tell you how sorry I am for that. It’s what I need to talk to you about now. Mia – listen-’

Just then, the heavens darkened and it started to rain, great fat drops turning the pavements slick and wet in a matter of seconds. Alec grabbed Mia’s arm and propelled her towards a covered porch which was filled with the first leaves of autumn.

‘
Will you stop manhandling me!’ she cried.

‘
I didn't want you to get wet,’ he said, looking down at her white dress. ‘Is that a paw print on your shoulder?’ He reached his hand out to touch it but Mia was too quick for him and moved away, covering up the offending paw print with her shawl.

‘
Alec - what are you doing here?’ Mia demanded.

‘
I remembered you liked Jane Austen. You said you used to come to the festival so I thought I’d find you here. Wasn’t that clever of me?’

Mia frowned. It was as if he wanted to be congratulated for having found her.

‘
I need to talk to you,’ he said, obviously realising that he’d receive no praise from her.

‘
You have nothing to say that I want to hear,’ Mia said.

‘
How can you say that?’ Alec said. ‘After all that's happened between us. Don't you want to talk about this at all?’

‘
You got me thrown out of the Bath Pump Room, for goodness’ sake! What on earth would Jane Austen think of such a thing?’

Alec laughed. ‘Now there’s the Mia I remember! You always were able to make me laugh.’

‘
I wasn’t put on this planet for your entertainment!’ Mia said, her eyes narrowed in fury and her fingers itching to slap him again.

‘
I know, I know,’ he said. ‘But – God - I've missed you. I've missed you so much. You don't know how often I think about our days together in Devon and how stupid I was to have messed everything up.’

‘
You used me.’

‘
That’s not fair,’ Alec said. ‘You wanted to be used.’

‘
I didn't want to be used. I wanted to be
loved
!’

Alec sighed. ‘Look –’

‘
What did I ever see in you?’ Mia interrupted. ‘I’m really trying to think now!’

‘
You saw something special - just as I did in you - although I foolishly chose to look away.’

‘
You chose to look at my sister!’ Mia cried.

‘
Yes,’ he said, looking at the ground and at least having the decency to look ashamed for a moment. ‘And I regret it so much. I can't say what I was thinking of except that I wasn't thinking properly at all. It was just something about her - I don't know - but what I do know now is that it was fleeting. It didn't last. But
we
had something special.’