Mr. Darcy Forever (24 page)

‘
Are you okay, sweetie?’ Shelley asked, seeing her friend’s pale face.

Mia nodded.

‘
I know what we need,’ Shelley announced. ‘A wonderful cream tea! How’s about the Pump Room?’

Mia blinked in surprise. ‘Isn’t that a bit expensive?’

‘
It’s my treat. I've been saving up.’

‘
Oh, Shelley, I can't.’

‘
You can and you will. Come on,’ she said, linking her arm through Mia’s. ‘I absolutely insist.’

They walked towards the Pump Room together and Mia couldn't help but feel a little excited by the prospect of eating there. With its beautiful windows, columns and arches, it was the most refined way to eat out.

Joining a small queue, Mia marvelled at the great chandelier which sparkled high above the diners. This was the room used in the 1995 adaptation of
Persuasion
and Mia could just imagine Anne Elliot and Captain Wentworth there now.

‘
You’re picturing it, aren’t you?’ Shelley said.

Mia nodded. ‘This is where they all used to parade, isn’t it?’

‘
Just imagine all those amazing dresses,’ Shelley said, ‘and all that fan fluttering. I’m so glad we wore our dresses today but I do wish we could travel back in time and see it all for real.’

They were shown to their seats and were soon ordering home-made scones with clotted cream and fruit preserves, and a pot of tea. Waiters wearing green and yellow striped waistcoats buzzed between tables and there was a pianist playing soft music above the chatter of the diners.

‘
Isn’t this lovely?’ Shelley enthused.

Mia nodded. ‘Life should be like this all the time.’

‘
Yes,’ Shelley said. ‘Life should be a permanent holiday with sunny weather, Regency costumes and cream teas.’

Mia laughed.

‘
It’s good to see you smiling,’ Shelley said. ‘You’ve not been doing a lot of that since you got here.’

‘
I’m sorry,’ Mia said.

‘
It’s okay,’ Shelley said, fingering her napkin. ‘Well, it’s not okay actually. It’s far from it. I want to know what’s bothering you.’

‘
I know you do.’

‘
Then why won’t you tell me?’ Shelley’s voice sounded urgent and she reached out across the table and grabbed Mia’s hand. ‘I want to try and understand. You seem to have changed.’

‘
I haven’t.’

‘
Yes, you have!’ Shelley insisted. ‘You’re not the girl I used to share a flat with. The one who always had a sunny smile and a funny quip for every situation. Where’s she gone?’

‘
I don’t know what you’re talking about. She’s right here,’ Mia said.

‘
Then perhaps it’s time I wore glasses because I don’t recognise you anymore.’

There was a pause as their waiter returned with the tea and scones.

‘
I’ve ruined this now, haven’t I?’ Shelley said. ‘I shouldn’t have said anything.’

‘
Don’t be daft,’ Mia said. ‘You haven’t spoiled things.’

For a moment, they stopped talking and got on with the serious business of spreading their scones with butter, jam and cream.

‘
I shall have to run a marathon to make up for this,’ Mia said.

‘
You’re still running then?’

‘
Of course,’ Mia said.

‘
Where do you go?’

‘
Just around the streets.’

‘
I hate to think of you living in London on your own,’ Shelley said.

‘
I’m not on my own,’ Mia said.

Shelley frowned. ‘What do you mean? You've got a new flatmate?’

Mia paused before answering. ‘No, I mean I see my neighbours all the time.’

‘
Oh,’ Shelley said, taking a sip of tea. ‘And how's the job going?’

‘
It’s fine,’ Mia said. ‘I’m doing more hours now.’

‘
Really? Why?’

‘
What do you mean, why? To make more money, of course!’

‘
But what about your auditions? I thought the whole point of a crappy job at a café was so that you could have time to go to auditions.’

‘
Yes, well, I just have to juggle more things at the moment.’

Shelley put her cup down. ‘You
are
still going to auditions, aren't you?’

Mia took a bite of her scone as if to delay answering the question straight-away.

‘
Mia?’ Shelley persisted.

Mia sighed. ‘I haven't had an audition for some time now.’

‘
Why not? You’re still putting yourself forward, aren't you?’

‘
Not really,’ Mia said quietly.

‘
Mia!’ Shelley said, with so much shock in her voice that she caused Mia to drop her knife on the floor. Bending down to retrieve it, she wondered if she could crawl right underneath the table and hide for a while but she knew that Shelley had to be faced.

Sitting back up in her chair, Mia looked at her friend. ‘I had a bad experience a while ago.’

‘
We all have bad experiences. It's part of the business. You can't let it put you off.’

‘
But it was more than that.’

Shelley paused for a moment, waiting for Mia to continue. ‘What happened?’ she said at last.

Mia pushed the remains of her scone around on her plate and shrugged. ‘I think I just lost my nerve.’

‘
But that happens to us all. Remember the time when I couldn't even walk out on to the stage? I just turned right round and bolted.’

Mia nodded. ‘Yes but you went to an audition the very next day and you got it.’

‘
But you can do that too.’

‘
No,’ Mia said and the word sounded so final that Shelley blanched. ‘That was my last audition.’

‘
Can’t you just talk about it? Maybe you need to tell somebody about it and then it’ll be okay.’

‘
I’ll tell you what happened but it won’t do any good. I'm never going to walk onto a stage ever again.’ Mia drained her teacup.

‘
Okay,’ Shelley said, ‘so what happened?’

Mia cast her mind back to the day she’d been trying to forget. It had been an audition for a new musical and she’d been put forward for one of the main roles. Ordinarily, it would have been enough to send her heart rate soaring with excitement but she’d turned up at the theatre feeling strangely numb.

She remembered seeing the line of girls waiting to audition before her and couldn't help thinking how miserable they all looked. If they weren't pale with nerves, they were pale with fatigue and from not having eaten properly.

‘
Why do we do it ourselves?’ she asked Shelley now. ‘We put ourselves through absolute hell for the merest chance of success. You were sensible. You gave it up ages ago.’

‘
Yes, but that's because I've never had your drive and determination.’

‘
Well, I don't seem to have it any more either. Anyway, I certainly didn’t have it that day. I remember waiting my turn. Normally, I would have been shaking with anticipation from head to toe but I was so calm. It seemed, for the first time, I knew what I was doing. When my name was called, I walked out onto the stage and nodded at the people in the seats below. I knew the song well. I'd been practising all week but, when the music started, I opened my mouth and nothing came out. There was no voice there anymore. It had disappeared.’

Shelley put down her teacup with a clatter. ‘Where has it gone?’

Mia frowned. ‘I don't know but do you know what? I didn't care. I really didn't care!’

Shelley looked at her as if she was quite mad. ‘You weren't worried?’

‘
No.’

‘
Or upset?’

Mia shook her head. ‘I just couldn't help thinking that there were more important things to do than stand on a stage and sing a song.’

‘
But you love singing! It's your whole life!’

‘
Not anymore.’

‘
But I don't understand. How can all that passion have just evaporated?’

Mia swallowed hard. It was the one question she didn't want to answer but Shelley was looking at her so beseechingly that she wondered whether she should tell her the truth. Surely her friend deserved no less.

‘
Shelley,’ she said. ‘I have something to tell you.’

‘
Yes?’ Shelley sat forward in her seat, her eyes wide and her mouth open in anticipation.

‘
I haven't exactly been honest with you but I want to tell you now. It's time.’ Mia took a deep breath but then something caught her eye. Standing by the entrance to the Pump Room was a tall, dark-haired man. The man whom Mia had hoped she’d never ever see again.

‘
I’d better not come in,’ Alec said as they reached the garden gate at Barton Cottage. It was dark now and the only light was the moon which kept slipping behind the clouds.

‘
No, perhaps you’d better not,’ Mia said, ‘although I don’t think I’m ready to say goodnight just yet.’

He smiled at her. ‘You are an amazing girl.’

Mia frowned. ‘I’m not a girl; I’m a woman.’

‘
Of course,’ he said, reaching out to tuck a long dark curl behind her ear. ‘How could I have made such a mistake?’

‘
I really don’t know,’ Mia said coyly. ‘Especially after-’

Alec placed a finger on her lips.

‘
Don’t you want me to talk about it?’

‘
It’s not that,’ he said. ‘But I do think it should be our little secret, don’t you?’

Mia smiled. ‘You mean not tell Sarah?’

He nodded. ‘I don’t think she’d be too delighted, do you?’

‘
No,’ Mia admitted, ‘although I don't see why she shouldn't be. It's up to me who I'm involved with, isn't it?’

‘
Of course it is.’

‘
And she can't expect to tell me what to do for the whole of my life.’

Alec cocked his head to one side. ‘Are you saying she warned you against me?’

Mia sighed. ‘She was just being her usual over-cautious self, that's all.’

‘
What did she say?’

Mia reached up and stroked his shoulder. ‘Does it really matter?’

‘
I’d like to know.’

‘
Well, I don't remember exactly - she was just moaning on about not knowing you very well which is ridiculous because I feel as though I do know you even though we've only been together for a few days. I tried to explain that to Sarah but she just doesn't understand these things. You feel the same way though, don't you?’

Alec’s gaze seemed to penetrate deep into the garden. ‘Yes,’ he said at last. ‘I feel like I've known you both all my life.’