Mr. Big (18 page)

“Mom, I don't want to see the water,” she said. Fortunately, for Jennifer this ferry ride would be a short one, and she didn't have to get out of the car.

When they got to her sister's in Prince Edward Island, her three nieces and nephews came running to meet her. She was happy to see them, but she still felt very far from home.

Her sister's house was crowded. It was a three-bedroom bungalow. Living there were the four children, Susan and her husband, and her mother and her boyfriend, Pat.

Jennifer would be sleeping on a blow-up mattress on the living room floor. It wasn't the most ideal of accommodations, but she was convinced this was the best, and safest, place for her. Her family all agreed: they didn't trust Nelson one bit, and they wanted her with them.

She settled in as best she could, but her heart longed to visit the girls' graves. It had only been a month since they died.

“She's not here,” Jennifer overheard Susan on the phone. “Well, I don't know who told you that,” she said into the receiver. “But Jennifer is not with us.”

The phone call had gotten Jennifer's full attention. “Who was that?”

“Nelson's mother. She says she knows you're staying here, but I didn't tell her anything,” said Susan.

Jennifer settled back down into her chair. She didn't have the energy to deal with this right now, and she hoped that would be the last phone call. But the caller wouldn't give up easily, and Jennifer knew that all too well.

She called another week later, and again her sister refused to give any information. Jennifer could guess what Nelson's mother would say. She could already hear her defending her son, telling Jennifer that he didn't hurt the girls. He would never hurt her, and she would be best off with Nelson.

But Jennifer was too tired to listen to it. And living in a busy house also helped keep her mind off Nelson and his mother as well.

That is, until one evening when she was sitting in the living room. The kids were huddled in front of the television, and she and Susan were having a cup of tea.

“There's someone there!” screamed Jennifer. “There was someone looking in the window!”

Panic ensued. Her brother-in-law and Pat took off running to see if they could find the person, but they found no one.

“It was probably someone on their way home from the bar down the road,” said her mother. “But I'm not taking any chances on what Nelson Hart would do to get next to Jennifer.”

She called the police, who in turn called the RCMP in Gander.

The next morning, they received a call that worried the entire family.

“We've tried tracking Nelson down,” the officer said over the phone. “We've looked everywhere, but he's nowhere to be found. You need to stay safe, and don't worry, we'll be keeping a close eye on your house.”

Jennifer was surprised to see patrol cars passing their house the next day, keeping a steady watch. She left the next afternoon to go down to the local grocery stores, and five police cars passed her along the way.

If nothing else, she knew that they were protecting her, but it also showed her just how seriously the police were taking the situation. Their diligence showed her how much they believed Nelson had the potential to be dangerous.

That evening, there was some relief for Jennifer's family, after a call came in from the police. Nelson was staying with his mother. Jennifer could relax for now.

Constable Trainor continued to stay in touch with Jennifer, to keep her posted on any new developments and to see how she was doing.

“Nelson called here the other night,” she said. “The caller identification was from his mother's house, but whoever was on the other end didn't speak. His mother would have said something, so we think it was Nelson.”

“Well, you're safe where you are,” the officer reassured her. “I've been told by the police in Charlottetown that they are keeping a very strong presence in your area.”

But despite being safe, Jennifer wasn't happy. She wanted her own bed. She wanted to be in Newfoundland. She wasn't particularly comfortable being on the mainland. But most of all, she missed being able to visit Karen and Krista's graves. She wanted to be home. She was a grieving mother who couldn't even visit her daughters' graves. It was torture.

On December 19, Jennifer, her mother, and her stepfather, Pat, got in the car and headed for home. But Jennifer wouldn't get to Gander right away. They went to her mother's home on the south coast, nearly three hours away.

Though she was glad to be back on the island, she still wasn't content.

Christmas came and went uncelebrated, and she longed to be able to visit their graves every day.

After Christmas, two RCMP members dropped in to St. Alban's for a visit.

“So, how are you doing?” asked Constable Trainor, who was genuinely concerned.

“I'm okay, but I want to be back in Gander, where I can be close to the girls' graves,” she told him.

The officer looked around the one-bedroom trailer. It was small, and Jennifer had created a makeshift bedroom in the living area. There was barely enough room here for two, let alone three people.

“I can see that,” he said. “I guess you need your own space. If you are up to it, we can arrange for you to stay in a transition house in Gander. That way you will be safe from Nelson, and you might feel better.”

Jennifer wasn't thinking of Nelson at all. She just wanted to be home, and their words made her want to leave right away. She had never longed to be somewhere as much as she wanted to be at the cemetery at that moment.

57

It wasn't long before Jennifer was settled in back at the transition house. A place she had become too familiar with over the years. She knew the workers, and there was usually someone staying there who she knew as well. Most of the women who left their husbands because of abuse usually ended up back in their marriages, no matter how bad things got. And no matter how much their husbands promised to change, the abuse always seemed to start again. And the women would eventually end up back in the transition house time after time. Jennifer supposed she was really no different than the rest of these women.

But this time she didn't care. She was relieved to be closer to her daughters' graves. She was also relieved to have her own bed and her own closet.

Today she wasn't in the mood to nap, but there was nothing better to do than to lie on her bed and enjoy the space. The two plastic tubs containing all of Karen and Krista's belongings sat in the closet. She sized up the tubs that she had carried with her through the entire move. She had carried them from one province to another and home again. She wondered how many times she would have to carry this stuff through the rest of her life. Right now, that didn't matter. She'd carry it to the moon if she had to. It was also in the back of her mind that a substantial amount of their belongings was still in the hands of the RCMP. She prayed those belongings were in safe hands. There were pictures and baptism certificates, there were some toys, and a lot of the girls' clothes. The police assured her that they would take care of the items. If not for the police, the pictures might never have been recovered from the garbage. For that, she was grateful.

“Jennifer!” yelled a voice from down the hallway. “Phone!”

A phone call? Jennifer wondered who it could be.

“How are ya, my dear?” asked the familiar voice.

Jennifer wasn't prepared to hear her mother-in-law At the same time, she wasn't surprised.

“I'm okay,” Jennifer said.

“Would you like to go out for a bit of lunch?”

Jennifer agreed, even though she knew where this would lead. She also knew the police wanted her to stay away from Nelson.

She made the walk down to the local Chinese restaurant, where Jennifer sat down, and her mother-in-law began to tell her everything that had happened since she had left. How Nelson had missed her. She went on to say that she didn't believe her son was capable of ever hurting her children, and that Jennifer belonged back with her husband.

On the way back to the transition house, Jennifer wasn't sure what to think. But in the end, she had agreed to meet Nelson. To talk.

They met at the local coffee shop, where Nelson wasted no time trying to assure Jennifer everything his mother had said was true. He loved those girls.

“Look at how hard the last few months have been,” he said to her. “You need to have your own place again. I still have the apartment. Come home.”

And as she had dozens of times before, Jennifer went home.

58

“The girls need a headstone for their graves,” Jennifer told Nelson. They were sitting in the car, and Jennifer had just spent the past hour fixing up the graves, placing new flowers and teddy bears. Nelson had waited in the car.

“We don't have that kind of money,” he said.

“Well, why don't we go away to work?” she asked. “The fish plant in PEI is hiring, and the pay is pretty good.”

It didn't take long to convince Nelson to move. He felt like everyone was watching him these days, and he quickly agreed. But they weren't able to leave as quickly as they would have liked. The first thing they needed was reliable transportation. For a few hundred bucks, they bought another car. It needed some work, but within a week it was registered and ready for the trip.

So the couple packed up their few belongings once again. They were making their second move to Prince Edward Island, but this time without the girls.

“How much money do you have for the trip?” Jennifer asked Nelson. “If there isn't enough, we should go down to social services to make sure we can get some help once we get there.”

“I've got plenty of money,” he reassured her.

What Jennifer didn't know was, even though he had enough to make it to Prince Edward Island, that was about the extent of his so-called wealth.

“You can both start tomorrow morning at six,” said Mr. Gillingham. He was the manager at the plant, and it was no time before he had hired them both. It was a busy time of year for lobster processing, and he assured them there'd be plenty of overtime.

Jennifer was thrilled. “If we work overtime, that will get us closer to buying the headstone sooner.” Jennifer had been on the road the entire day, but she was nearly skipping with excitement as they left the fish plant.

Nelson didn't say anything as they got in the car.

“We should go and try and find a hotel for tonight, and we'll look for an apartment tomorrow,” she said. Jennifer was exhausted from the long day, and she knew 6:00 a.m. would arrive before she knew it. She had hoped to stay with her sister. But when the family found out Nelson was with her, she was no longer welcome.

Nelson didn't have much to say about their jobs or finding a place to stay for the night. He just wanted to drive around for a while and check out the area.

Jennifer began to worry something was wrong. Perhaps he was having one of his moods. Since they had gotten back together, things had been going fairly smoothly. But from past experience, she also knew that could change very quickly.

“We can't afford a hotel,” he told her.

“What do you mean?” she asked. “Where are we going to stay? I'm not just staying with anyone at all. We're not in Newfoundland now, and I don't trust people up here.”

She sat in silence, waiting to see what he was going to do, but he continued to drive.

When the sun started to go down, he pulled into a grocery store parking lot. But instead of stopping in front, he drove around to the back of the building. He shut the car off.

“Why are you stopping? We shouldn't be back here!” Jennifer protested. “There could be dangerous people around, Nelson.”

“Well, we can't afford a hotel, so this is where we're sleeping,” he said.

Jennifer's heart began to beat out of her chest. She was terrified. The mainland wasn't like Newfoundland. People were a little bolder, and a lot scarier for her. She'd heard about the crimes on the mainland, and she did not want to be in this parking lot for the entire night.

But before she knew it, Nelson was dozing off in the driver's seat.

She was alone. She was scared.

It would be a long night. She never closed her eyes for a second. She remained upright in her seat and watched every passing car, expecting the worst with each set of headlights. In her mind, she believed she and Nelson would be robbed or killed before the night was over, and there was no way she could sleep in such a state of anxiety.

Yet Nelson slept. He slept until Jennifer saw the sky begin to brighten in the east. He slept until the clock read 5:30 a.m.

Jennifer nudged him awake. “Come on,” she said. “It's time to go to work.”

It was going to be a long day, but Jennifer didn't care. The thought of finally buying a headstone kept her going. And it wasn't just the promise of being able to mark her daughters' graves properly. She found her time at the plant took her mind off Karen and Krista, at least for most of the day. In fact, she enjoyed the day so much that, when five o'clock came, she volunteered to work a few extra hours.