Mozart: A Life in Letters: A Life in Letters (57 page)

Dearest, most beloved father, demand of me what you will, but not that, anything but that – the mere thought of it makes me shake with anger – adieu – I kiss your hands 1000 times and embrace my sister with all my heart. I am ever your most obedient son

Wolfgang Amadè Mozart

Mon très cher Père

You’re quite right, just as I am quite right, my dearest father!
¹
– I know and acknowledge all my faults; but – can’t a man change for the better? – May he not already have changed for the better? – In whatever way I examine the matter, I still think that I can best be of help to myself and to you, my beloved father and dear sister, by remaining in Vienna. It looks as if good fortune is about to welcome me here with open arms. – I feel as though I
have
to stay here. – I already felt this when I left Munich. – I was really looking forward to Vienna – I don’t know why. – You must be patient for a little while longer, for I shall soon be able to show you in fact just how useful Vienna will be to us all. – You really must believe me when I
say that I’ve changed completely – apart from my health, I now recognize that nothing matters more than money; of course, I’m no miser – and it would be hard for me to become one, but people here think I’m more inclined to be stingy than a spendthrift – and that’s enough to be going on with. – As for pupils, I can have as many as I want; but I don’t want too many – I want to be paid more than the others – and so I prefer to have fewer. – You have to get on your high horse a little right from the outset, otherwise you’re permanently lost – you then have to stick to the common highway like the rest. As for the subscription, things are going well – and as for the opera,
²
I don’t know why I should hold back. – Count Rosenberg received me most politely on the 2 occasions I called on him and, together with van Swieten and Herr von Sonnenfels,
³
he heard my opera
⁴
at Countess Thun’s. – And as
Stephanie
⁵
is a good friend of mine, everything’s going well. – Believe me, I don’t like idleness but prefer work. – In Salzburg, it’s true, it required an effort and I could hardly ever find the resolve. Why? Because my mind was not content; even you yourself must admit that in Salzburg – at least for me – there’s not a ha’penny’s worth of entertainment; and there are lots of people there with whom
I refuse to associate
. – And for most of the others I’m too unworthy. No encouragement for my talent! – Whenever I play or if any of my works are performed, it’s just as if the audience was made up entirely of tables and chairs. – If only there were a theatre there that was any good. – This is my sole entertainment here. – In Munich, it’s true, I involuntarily placed myself in a false light with you by enjoying myself too much – but I can swear to you on my honour that I never set foot in a theatre until my opera had been staged and that I never went anywhere except to the Cannabichs. – That I had to write most of the opera – and the most difficult part – at the last minute is true; but it wasn’t out of idleness or negligence, it was because for 2 weeks it
was impossible
for me to write a single
note – of course I wrote it down, but not as a fair copy. – And in this way I lost a lot of time, of course. But I don’t regret it; – that I had too much fun afterwards was the result of youthful folly; I thought to myself, where are you off to next? – To Salzburg! – And so you must enjoy yourself! – It’s true that in Salzburg I pine for 100 entertainments, but not for a single one here. – Just being in Vienna is already entertainment enough. You really must have faith in me, I’m no longer a fool. – And still less can you believe that I’m a godless, ungrateful son. – So you should trust entirely in my brains and good heart – you’ll certainly not regret it. –

Where could I have learnt to value money? – I’ve had too little in my hands until now. – All I know is that once, when I had 20 ducats, I thought myself rich indeed. – Only necessity teaches one to value money. –

Farewell, beloved, dearest father! – My duty now is to make good and replace through my care and hard work what you think you have lost by this occurrence. – I shall certainly do this, and shall be infinitely happy to do so! –
Adieu
. I kiss your hands 1000 times and embrace my sister with all my heart. I am ever your most obedient son

Wolfgang Amadè Mozart

P. S. As soon as any of the archbishop’s people go to Salzburg, the portrait
⁶
will follow. –
Ho fatto fare la sopra scritta d’un altro espressamente, perchè non si può sapere
⁷
– You can’t trust anyone.

Best wishes to all my acquaintances.

Mon très cher Père
,

Two days ago Count Arco
¹
sent word to say that I should call on him at 12 and that he’d be expecting me – he’s often sent this kind of message, as has Schlauka, but as I hate conversations in which virtually every word I have to listen to is a lie, I’ve not attended them; – and I’d have done the same on this occasion, too, except that he’d sent word to say that he’d received a letter from you. – So I went; – it would be impossible to rehearse the whole conversation, which passed off very calmly and dispassionately, as this was the first thing I asked for. – In short, he placed everything before me in the friendliest manner; one could have sworn that it came from the heart. – But I don’t think he’d have cared to swear that it came from
my
heart; – with all possible calmness, politeness and the most civil manner in the world I told him the absolute truth in reply to his set speeches, which merely
seemed
true. – And he – he couldn’t say a word against it; the outcome was that I tried to make him take the memorandum and my travelling expenses, both of which I had with me. – But he assured me that it would be too upsetting for him to interfere in this matter and that I should give it to one of the valets. – And he’d take the money only when everything was sorted out. – The archbishop has been rude about me to everyone here and doesn’t have the sense to see that this does him no credit; people here think more highly of me than they do of him. – He’s known as an arrogant, self-opinionated divine who despises everyone here – while I’m known for my amiability. It’s true; I grow proud when I see someone trying to treat me with contempt and
en bagatelle
.
²
– And that’s how the archbishop behaves towards me. – But – with kind words – he could have made me do as he wanted. – I said this to the count. I also said that the archbishop doesn’t deserve the high opinion you
have of him. – And finally – what good would it do if I were to go home now? – In a few months’ time – even without a further insult – I’d still demand my discharge for I cannot and will not remain in service any longer on such a salary. – But why not? – Because – I said – because I could never live happily and contentedly in a place where I’m paid so little that I’m always bound to be thinking, oh, if only I were somewhere else! – But if the pay were such that it wouldn’t be necessary for me to think of other places, I’d be content. And if the archbishop pays me that, I’m ready to set off today. –

How happy I am that the archb. doesn’t take me at my word. For there’s no doubt that it’s to your own advantage as it is to mine that I’m here. You’ll see. Farewell now, dearest, most beloved father! Everything will work out for the best. – I’m not writing this in a dream – my own wellbeing depends on it.
Adieu
.

I kiss your hands 1000 times and embrace my dear sister with all my heart. I am ever your most obedient son

Wolfgang Amdè Mozart

P. S. Best wishes to all our good
friends
.

Mon très cher Père
,

You’ll have gathered from my last letter that I’ve spoken to Count Arco in person; praise and thanks be to God that everything passed off so well. – Don’t worry, you’ve nothing whatever to fear from the archbishop – Count Arco didn’t say a single word to make me think
that you might be adversely affected
– and when he told me that you’d written and complained about me, I immediately interrupted him and said:
But not to me? – He wrote such things that I often thought I’d lose my wits – but, no matter how much thought I give to the matter, I simply cannot
etc. – He then said: Believe me, you’re allow
ing yourself to be too easily dazzled here;
¹
– here a man’s fame is very short-lived – he’s universally praised at the outset and earns a lot, too, that’s true – but for how long? – within a few months the Viennese want something new; – you’re right, Count, I said; – but do you think I’m staying in Vienna? – – By no means; I already know where I’m going. – The fact that this incident took place in Vienna is the archbishop’s fault, not mine; – if he knew how to treat people who have talent, it would never have happened. – Count, I’m the nicest person in the world – as long as people treat me the same; – well, he said, the archbishop thinks you an extraordinarily insolent person; I’m sure he does, I said; and so I am towards him; I treat people as they treat me; – if I see that someone despises me and holds me in low esteem, I can be as proud as a peacock. –

Among other things, he also asked if I thought that he too often had to swallow insults? – I shrugged my shoulders and said: You’ll have your reasons for enduring it, and I – I have my reasons for not enduring it. – You know the rest from my last letter. – Do not doubt it for a moment, dearest, most beloved father, this will all turn out for the best, both for me and – consequently – for you too. – The Viennese are no doubt people who like to shoot one down –
but only in the theatre
. – And my speciality
²
is too popular here for me not to be able to support myself. This is without doubt the land of the piano! – And even if it’s true, they won’t tire of me for a number of years, certainly not before then. – Meanwhile I’ll have gained honour and money – after all, there are other places – and who knows what opportunities may arise in the meantime? – I’ve spoken to Herr von Zetti and shall be sending you
something
with him – for the present you’ll have to make do with only a little – I can’t send you more than 30 ducats. If I’d foreseen all this, I’d have taken on the pupils who approached me earlier – but I thought I’d be leaving in a week; and now they’re in the country. – The portrait will follow; if he can’t take it, it will go by post. Farewell now, dearest, most beloved father.
I kiss your hands 1000 times and embrace my dear sister with all my heart. I am ever your most obedient son

Wolfgang Amadè Mozart

Best wishes to all our good friends.
I’ll be replying to Ceccarelli
³
shortly
.

Mon très cher Père
,

Most beloved of all fathers! How gladly I’d continue to sacrifice the best years of my life to you in a place where one’s badly paid if this were the only evil. But to be badly paid and to be mocked, despised and bullied into the bargain – that really is too much. – I wrote a sonata for myself for the archbishop’s concert
¹
here, together with a rondeau for Brunetti and Ceccarelli,
²
I played twice at each concert and after the last one went on playing variations for a whole hour – it was the archbishop who gave me the theme – and there was such universal applause that if the archbishop were at all human, he must surely have felt pleased; but instead of showing me at least his contentment and pleasure – or, for all I care, not showing me them – he makes me out to be a street urchin – tells me to my face to go to the devil and adds that he can get a hundred people to serve him better than I do. – And why? – Because I couldn’t leave Vienna
on the day
he’d got it into his head I should do so; he expects me to leave his house, live at my own expense and then not have the freedom to leave when my purse allows me, quite apart from which I wasn’t needed in Salzburg and it made a difference of only 2 days. – Twice the archbishop said the rudest things to me and I never said a word, indeed I even played with the same enthusiasm and commit
ment as if nothing had happened; and instead of acknowledging my eagerness to serve him and my desire to please him, he behaves on the third occasion in the most abominable way in the world – at the very time that I might have expected something different. – And in order that I should not be in the wrong but utterly in the right, it’s as if they want to get rid of me by force, well – if they don’t want me – that’s fine by me; – instead of Count Arco accepting my petition or obtaining an audience for me or advising me to send it in later or persuading me to let the matter rest and think it over,
enfin
, whatever he wanted – no, he throws me out of the room and gives me a kick up the backside. – Well, in plain language this means that as far as I’m concerned, Salzburg no longer exists, except to give me a chance to give the count a kick up the arse in return, even if it’s in a public street. – I’m not demanding any restitution from the archbishop as he can’t provide what I want; but I shall shortly be writing to the count to tell him what he can confidently expect from me as soon as I have the good fortune to meet him, wherever it may be, as long as it’s not a place where I’m obliged to show him any respect; –

Don’t worry about the good of my soul, most beloved father! – I’m just as likely to err as any other young man and by way of consolation wish only that others were as little likely to err as I am. – You may perhaps believe things about me that aren’t true; – my main failing is that I don’t always
appear
to act as I should. – It’s not true that I boasted that I eat meat on all fast days; but I did say that I set little store by it and don’t consider it a sin; for me, fasting means abstaining and eating less than usual. – I attend Mass every Sunday and feast day and, if I can make it, on weekdays too, but you already know that, father. – My only dealings with that person of ill repute were at the ball, and only until I knew she was a woman of ill repute – and then only because I wanted to be sure of having a partner for the contredanse.
³
– But I couldn’t then stop without telling her the reason – and who would say something like that to a person’s face? – But in the end didn’t I stand her up more than once and dance with others? – On this occasion I was perfectly happy when the carnival
was over. – In any case, no one can say that I saw her anywhere else or that I ever went to her house – they’d be a liar if they claimed otherwise. – For the rest, you can be assured that I believe in God – and if I should ever have the misfortune (which God forbid) to stray, I hereby absolve you, my most beloved father, of all blame. – I alone would be the villain – it is you whom I must thank for all the good things that have contributed to my temporal and spiritual welfare and salvation.