Moth to a Flame (23 page)

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Authors: Ashley Antoinette

BOOK: Moth to a Flame
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“So you mean to tell me you got a brain up there?” he asked sarcastically.
Raven smirked, rolled her eyes, and stuck up her middle finger. She was aggravated with Ethic.
“I don’t appreciate how you came up over here regulating. If you think I’m never going to go out with a dude just because I’m living here, you got me fucked up,” Raven stated.
“Don’t bring a nigga into my house,” Ethic said sternly.
“Why, Ethic?” she asked as she scrunched her brow in confusion. She walked up to him and stood between his legs as she cocked her hip to the side. Her neck began to work at full speed as she went off. “You used to get this same little funky-ass attitude back in the day when I first met Mizan. Why can’t I date a guy without you looking down on me? Why does it bother you so much?”
As she screamed at him, Ethic leaned back on the couch and relaxed as he listened to her rant.
“Why is it wrong for me to want to have a man?”
“You choose a man and I might respect him. You bring home these bitch-ass niggas that go upside your head or that can’t afford to buy you a meal,” Ethic responded simply.
“So what, Ethic? If that’s who I choose then that’s on me. What, I’m supposed to live by your rules just because you purchased this place? What if I want to have company? What if I want to go on a date?” Raven leaned over him and spoke directly in his face. “What if I want to be
fucked,
Ethic?”
Before either of them knew what was happening, the tension in the room exploded as Ethic pulled her down on top of him and absorbed her rants into his mouth, kissing her passionately. Their tongues performed a delicate dance and Raven closed her eyes as she melted into his embrace.
“Hmm,” she moaned as she tugged at his sweater. Every muscle on Ethic’s torso was so well defined that it felt like her fingers were gracing one of Michelangelo’s stunning sculptures. He picked her up effortlessly and carried her up the stairs to the master bedroom. They had both waited years to know what a kiss between them would feel like, and they took advantage of every second, never breaking their connection. All of their disguised anger was really their chemistry rising to its boiling point. Items of clothing flew all around the room as they scrambled to undress one another. Ethic took both of her breasts in his hand and pushed them together, licking her areolas into erection. He sucked on them, blew on them, and bit them gently as she moaned softly in his ear. The tent in his boxers let Raven know that she would not be disappointed. She grabbed hold of his length and stroked it slowly, then propped her leg up on the bed so that she could rub his mushroom-shaped head into the gushy entrance of her love box. She could feel his passion as the heat from his body warmed her opening. She desperately wanted him to fill her up, but he didn’t even knock on her door. He pulled away as his mouth found hers. He introduced his lips to every part of her body as he traveled south. Her neatly shaven lips stared him in the face as he pulled them back to reveal her throbbing clit. It resembled a juicy oyster, and he treated it as such as he sucked it into his mouth and applied pressure to it with his full lips. “Aghh!” she screamed in pleasure as he brought her to orgasm with torpedo flicks of his wet tongue.
He wiped his mouth and sat on the edge of the bed, then pulled her down on top of him. His thick girth parted her opening and her body tried to resist his size. She gasped as she arched her back and her walls allowed him in.
For every down stroke she put on him, he matched her, as his hands gripped her voluptuous backside. The only sounds that could be heard were their labored breathing and the sounds of their juices as skin slapped skin. Fuck noises filled the room and tears involuntarily filled Raven’s eyes. Sex had never felt this good. She was experiencing things that she had never felt before. Her heart felt weak as she rocked her hips to the rhythm of her headboard hitting the wall. Her head fell back in ecstasy and Ethic put his hand behind her neck, forcing her to look up at him. Tears fell down her cheeks as she rode him and stared into his eyes. She continued to work him slowly as she brought her hands up to his face. She touched his burns and kissed every scar as they kept eye contact. There was no doubt about it. This thing between them was more than just a casual fuck. Something was happening, and neither of them knew if they were prepared to handle it.
“Ethic,” she whispered as she felt her pussy muscles contract around his shaft. Her mouth fell open in pure bliss as she sped up. Slow grinds turned into full winds as her body began to move like a belly dancer. She bounced down onto him hard, and with every stroke his grip on her backside grew tighter. The feeling of him vibrating inside of her told her that he was about to climax. His guttural grunts echoed off the walls until he finally exploded. He held on to her so tightly that she did not know where he ended and she began; they were one. The feeling of him spilling inside of her caused her to cum, and she closed her eyes and rode the wave as if it were the best feeling she had ever felt in her life. She collapsed onto his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. They did not jump up or try to pretend that it had not happened. For this one moment, they did not speak. He moved her hair out of her face and kissed her forehead. He noticed the rhythm of her heart matched his own. All of the things that had occurred to lead up to this moment did not matter. The death, the destruction, the disloyalty ... all of it was erased from his mind temporarily as he held onto her tenderly, loving the way she fit perfectly in his arms. He pulled the covers over their bodies and she lay on top of him, enjoying the feeling of his hands as he rubbed her back.
Before Raven knew it, she had drifted off to sleep. It wasn’t until she felt Morgan flop down on her bed that she woke up.
Morgan shook her shoulder over and over again until she was finally awake.
Raven jumped up and clutched the covers against her breasts, thinking that she and Ethic had just been busted. Her heart sank into the pit of her stomach when she realized that he was no longer lying next to her.
“Hey, Morgan,” she signed with a half smile as she looked around in confusion. “Let me get dressed. I’ll be right out so that you can tell me all about your day at school.”
When Morgan left the room, Raven shook her head and closed her eyes. She didn’t know what to think.
Maybe he regrets it,
she thought.
I should have never let this happen. What was I thinking? He doesn’t want me ... It was just sex for him.
She did not know how she would face him the next time they saw each other. She stood and walked over to her dresser to retrieve some clothes, when she noticed a manila envelope sitting on top of it. When she opened it she put her hand over her mouth in shock.
Oh my God. He put everything in my name.
Inside of the folder was the deed to the condo, the title to the car, and also papers to a bank account that Ethic had opened up for her. He had put all of the checks that she had sent him for rent into an account for Morgan and had put $50,000 in a separate account for Raven. She smiled as she closed the folder and flopped down on her bed. So many things were running through her mind that she could not think straight. Sleeping with Ethic had just complicated her life. She was not naïve enough to think that sex was the same thing as love, but it sure had felt like it. The rational side of her told her not to get her hopes up.
He’s never been into you,
she told herself, but her heart was forcing something completely different.
What does all this mean? And where the hell do I go from here?
Chapter Seventeen
 
As Ethic put his daughter down to bed that night, he thought of Raven. He could not believe he had slipped up and had sex with her. The last thing he wanted to do was play with her emotions. After everything she had been through, he was not trying to bring her pain, but he had to be honest with himself. He was not sure if he was ready to welcome her into his life. There was no doubt about it that he wanted to. His life was lonely. His heart too guarded. His soul unflinchingly cold. But when he had held Raven in his arms he knew that she was what was missing in both his life and in Bella’s. He had always found Raven attractive. Physically her beauty was undeniable, but her air-headed mentality made her easily influenced. If the wrong person put the wrong ideas in her head, she could easily switch teams on him and lead him down the road to his own demise, the same way she had done with her father.
“I can’t afford that,” Ethic said aloud as he watched his daughter sleep soundly. He was proud of the fact that she could sleep comfortably under a roof he had provided for her. He couldn’t let Hurricane Raven blow through their lives and destroy everything he had worked so hard to build.
 
 
Mizan sat back in the cold metal chair with a mean mug on his face. He had been locked up for over a month and his patience was on “E”.
“Look, I don’t give a fuck what you got to do, but I want to be up out of here like yesterday, Mizan stated. “I mean, what’s up? My man dropping the paper off to you, right?” he asked the balding attorney seated across from him.
“Yes, I have received payment for your case... .”
Mizan hit his hand against the table, causing a loud bang to echo off the walls. He leaned across and stared his attorney down. “Then why the fuck am I still in this bitch?” he asked angrily. The shabby five o’clock shadow that had grown on his face gave him a grimy look and revealed his true nature. His attorney could barely look him in the eyes. Even he had heard the stories of Mizan’s wrath and he was scared shitless. If the money weren’t so good, he probably would have never taken on the infamous gangster’s case.
“There is only so much that I can do,” the attorney defended himself. He pushed his wire-rimmed glasses onto his face nervously. “Unless you are willing to talk then I have to be honest with you ... this doesn’t look good for you.”
Mizan looked around the room and then lowered his voice. “Tell them pigs I’ll tell them whatever they want to know,” he stated, fulfilling the prediction that Benny Atkins had placed on him years ago. Mizan was a snake. He did not stay true to the game. Now that his back was against the wall, he was looking to snitch his way out. “I want to walk away from this. If they can guarantee me that on paper, I’ll talk.”
He stood up, knocking the chair over as he called for the C.O. to let him out of the room. He was itching to get out of prison. Being confined behind the steel bars and brick walls was slowly driving him insane. He had a score to settle with the woman who put him there: Raven.
There was something about a woman’s betrayal that drove an incarcerated man to his breaking point. Mizan did not think of all of the bullshit he had taken Raven through or any of the moments that had provoked her to set him up. All he could think of was the look on her face as they were taking him into custody. Every day, he was stuck behind bars, his resentment toward her grew, and when he was finally able to let it out he planned on punishing her hard. Her biggest sin against him was the disrespect she had dished out to him over the phone. Raven was out of pocket and he was determined to get out of jail so that he could personally put her back in place.
 
 
Three weeks had passed since Raven’s rendezvous with Ethic and she could not get him off of her mind. Although they avoided each other, Raven had been sick to her stomach wondering about him. She had picked up the phone to call him so many times, but her ego always forced her to hang up.
If he wanted to talk to you he would call,
she convinced herself.
He doesn’t want you.
The attraction that she had for him was ridiculous. Her emotions for Ethic were not something that she could sweep under the rug. She wanted him in the worst way. Making love to him was simply a teaser. She desperately wanted to feel what it was like to be his lady, but in reality she knew that she was not enough. No matter how hard she tried or how much she changed, she would never be on the same level as Ethic. The throne he sat on was too high, and his expectations of her unrealistic. Despite knowing all of these things, Raven still could not stop her heart from fein’n for Ethic. Her connection to him was magnetic. Her love ran deeper than he could ever comprehend. Ethic was her father figure, her brother, her friend, her potential lover, all wrapped up in one. He had so many charming qualities that she admired and his demeanor was exactly like her father’s. She had always been a daddy’s girl and since she did not have one, she wanted him to fill that void. She wanted him to be that and so much more. If she could turn back the hands of time and change his perception of her, she would. The first impression that he had gotten of her was that of a selfish, self-absorbed, spoiled young woman. But time, as it always does, had changed things ... it had changed her. She was trying to do better, but those lasting notions of her had stuck with him, and no matter what she did he would always judge her for what she had done in the past.
As she sat in her morning class, her foot bounced busily against the floor as she chewed on the tip of her pen. Ethic had her distracted, anxious, and off her square. Her focus was all off because there was no room in her head for any thought that did not revolve around him.
“Where’s your head at, ma?” Jacob asked, noticing the starry look in her eyes as he slid next to her, taking the chair right beside her.
She smiled at him slightly and shook her head. “I just got a lot on my mind,” she replied.
“Maybe you need to relax and have a little fun,” he said as he slid a small plastic baggie filled with powder over to her. Raven immediately recognized what it was. She had been fighting the urge to get blasted ever since she had come to Kansas City. Every day she told herself that she wanted it and it took everything in her to stay away from the addictive drug, but now that the temptation was staring her in the face, her mouth began to water. She was struggling with what she should do and what she wanted to do.
“I don’t get down like that,” she lied as she looked around to make sure none of the other students were watching.
“Come on,” he whispered as he grabbed the coke and walked out of the room.
Raven didn’t move as she closed her eyes.
Don’t go ... You don’t need that shit anymore. Life is better now ... You’ve changed,
she tried to convince herself, but all the while her mouth was watering in anticipation of the drug. Unable to resist, she stood up and balled her fists. Her inner turmoil was unbearable and the devil on her shoulder was telling her to go for it ... that it would make her feel good. She sat back down abruptly, causing some of her classmates to turn around and observe her weird behavior. “I’m sorry,” she said as she stood again. “Excuse me, I’ve got to go,” she said as she clumsily knocked into people, gathering her possessions. Raven followed Jacob out of the room. She could not help but go along. She was stressing and she knew that the powder in Jacob’s hand would give her the relief she was craving.
One more time won’t hurt anything,
she thought. She looked around as he took her hand and pulled her into the bathroom.
“No, not here,” she whispered as she pulled away from him.
“Relax ... nobody’s coming in here. Just hit one line. We’ll go back to your place to finish,” he responded as he sat down on the toilet seat and put a book over his lap. He poured the coke onto the cover and began to separate the coke in four equal lines. Raven’s eyes bulged in anticipation. She had not realized how much she had missed her high until she got on her knees and leaned over the book. All of the stress left her body as soon as the drug went up her nose. She didn’t save any for Jacob. Selfishly she consumed all four lines. On her knees with her head between Jacob’s legs, she smiled lazily as she looked up at him.
He began to smile mischievously. “I thought you didn’t get down like that?” he asked. “Look to me like you’ve done this before, baby.”
The cocaine was like the quick fix to all of her problems. All of a sudden Ethic’s rejection did not matter, and the stresses of her everyday life melted away. She felt carefree as she closed her eyes and enjoyed the rush. Now that she had wet her tongue again, her palette yearned for more. She licked her finger, picked up the cocaine residue that remained on the book, and then put her finger in her mouth. Her tongue numbed immediately from the potency of the drug. She wanted the cocaine to numb her heart and put her life on pause. At that moment she did not care about anyone but herself. No one seemed to know her pain or acknowledge her hurt. She was the one who had been deceived, had her young heart stolen, beaten, and betrayed.
What about me?
she thought.
“You got some more?” she asked.
Jacob nodded. “I got all you need, but let’s go back to your crib,” he said.
Raven smiled as she stood. Her body felt shaky, but she was alert, as if she had just been thrown into a pool of cold water.
“You a’ight?” Jacob asked. Her red eyes indicated that she was blown. He knew that the good-girl visage she put on was an act, and he eagerly led her to the parking lot, thinking that their get-high session would lead to sex.
She hopped behind the wheel of her car and peeled out of the parking lot with Jacob in her passenger seat. The rush of the wind in her hair and the coke in her system made Raven feel more alive than she ever had before as she pushed the car to the limit. She didn’t care that she was on a city street. The speed only intensified her thrill. She turned on her radio and lifted her hands in the air, snapping her fingers as Keyshia Cole sang a song about love.
“Wow, ma, chill out. Put your hands on the wheel,” Jacob stated with laughter as he watched her groove to the song. “You wild’n.”
Raven put her hands on the wheel and glanced over to Jacob. It was obvious that he was attracted to her and at the moment his attention was much needed. For years she had felt like she was not good enough. Both Ethic and Mizan had a way of shitting on her. Jacob, on the other hand, boosted her ego, and the cocaine hindered her judgment as he placed a hand on her thigh. Her nipples poked through her shirt as his hand crept up her skirt. A tear slid down her face as she thought of what she was doing. She felt cheap. She called herself stupid. She was reverting to the old Raven, who made dimwitted decisions. She was trying to mask her feelings for Ethic and push him out of her mind by indulging in the only man who was willing to give her attention.
Don’t do this,
she told herself as she felt Jacob’s hand slide further up her skirt until he played with the silky hairs of her womanhood. The cocaine made her clit swell in anticipation.
You’re better than this,
she lectured.
You have worked so hard to get your shit together.
She wiped the tear away and found the courage to speak up. “Don’t,” she whispered as she pushed his hand away.
“What you mean don’t?” he asked. “You know you want to.” He ignored her request and leaned over to kiss her neck.
“I’m serious,” she said as she moved her head and shook him off of her neck. “Come on, Jacob, stop.”
Jacob’s grip on her thigh grew firm and Raven tried to pry his fingers off. He held on to her so tightly that the shape of his hand was left on her leg.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” she asked as she wrestled him off of her while driving. Raven never even felt the car veer to the left; all she heard was the sound of car horns, but by the time she looked up it was too late. At seventy miles per hour, she crossed the center lane and collided into oncoming traffic.

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