Monza: Book 2 (5 page)

My set rules were not negotiable, and I wanted to stress that out in the contract. If I had to use my name, my power, and money to get what I wanted, then so be it. Kimberly had crossed the proverbial line two days ago. There was no going back after that, only forwards, and this was how the future would be played out between us.

Seven lawyers all gazed up at me as I spoke, detailing precisely what needed to be done just as Gino, my assistant, strode into the room, momentarily halting the meeting.

“
Signore …” he said guardedly, clearing his throat. “There’s been a recent development, and with all due respect, I believe you must hear it.”

He believed? Since when was he the decision-maker of my life?

Reeling my impatience in, I blew out a breath before asking, “What is it?”

Throwing a quick glance towards the swarm of lawyers before straying towards me, he wanly gave me a look. “Signora Gallo had an emergency this morning, and her husband called me to inform that she won’t be able to come in the meeting tomorrow since her doctor recommends that she doesn’t overexert herself and be overburdened with stress. Apparently, the stress is too much for her and the baby.”

I completely stopped breathing. Kimberly and the baby were in danger? My mind couldn’t wrap around the idea.

“
She’s in the hospital?”

He meekly nodded. “Yes, and Signor Gallo asks if you could not visit, because that might worsen Signora Kimberly’s condition.”

I only nodded because my throat felt too constricted to utter a response.

My mind raced as I pictured her in the starch linen hospital beds, worried about the baby’s health.

It was my fault she was in there in the first place. It was because of my sudden proposal or possibly when Gino phoned a couple of hours later, setting up a meeting for tomorrow because I was adamant to have a resolution for this situation.

My hastiness had caused all of this. It was my fault our child was in danger at this very moment. It was because of my selfishness and wanting to hurt her; that was why she had been put in this condition.

None of it made me feel better. What had gotten into me? This was my child.
My fucking child.
I had to protect it at all costs. No matter what, it was my responsibility.

Kimberly went out of her way to hurt me, but how long must I keep going on this way? Though the hurt was too much to bear, I admitted I was beyond drained from it all. How long must I crusade in this tiresome manner?

She wanted happiness; I knew that. Maybe I should simply swallow my pride and do the right thing, and that was to fully let her go to live a life without me threatening in the corner or hounding ceaselessly.

Besides, considering our situation in a different light, what could I really offer the child? I wasn’t the best candidate to be a father. It wasn’t as though I knew how to take care of it to begin with. Even if I hired the most qualified nannies, it wouldn’t be the same. With her, she already had a family. The baby could grow up in a secured, caring environment, free from confusion, away from the drama my life could bring. Away from me, the baby would be shielded from the media, from the maddening craziness of my mother, and the chaotic life I led.

My train of thought had led me to one solution that would make everything easier for her. Could I truly give her up as well as our child? Could I be a selfless man? Could I grant her the life she craved?

Yes,
my mind answered itself. I still loved her, and if this was the last thing I could give her, then maybe I should. Our baby would benefit from it.

I was a fucked up man. I didn’t want my child to be influenced by me. I wasn’t worthy of it. I wasn’t worthy of them, of having them as a family.

Maybe truly loving someone meant to let them go to be with the person they ought to be with. In this case, it was her husband, Anton Gallo.

Difficult as it was, I knew I had to let her go. For the baby’s sake, I had to set aside my pride and my emotions. For my baby, I would do anything, even if it meant giving up the vengeful emotion that had persisted and plagued my life from the moment Kimberly had betrayed me.

“
Draw up a contract,” I demanded. “I’m withdrawing everything—all of my rights. Give her everything, and I mean every single thing she desires and everything she might yearn for in the future.” I could afford it, all of it.

“
But, Signore …” one of the senior lawyers spoke out, unsure about my hasty decision. “Are you sure about this? Why don’t you take a day or two to think it through? I advise that you do because, once it’s signed and sealed, it can never be undone.”

I had never been so sure in my life.

“
Do it,” I replied, sealing my fate.

Sette

It took perseverance and complete discipline¸ but gradually I had come out of my hiding, unhurriedly breathing in life and letting the outside world back into my apathetic existence. For an entire month, I had to crawl out of my damned hole and live life the way I had used to.

In a way, it was liberating, but there was still that side of me that would always hanker for Kim and the baby. Nonetheless, I had made a decision to make life for her and the baby better, and it was one choice I knew I must keep. If loving them from afar was the only way I could do it, then I had to stand by it.

Against everything I had decided and my own will, I went ahead with the surgery. It could probably be due to the fact that another branch of my DNA was thriving with life in Kimberly’s womb, giving me a reason to fight for life.

The procedure took hours to finish with the help of four excellent neurosurgeons working to fix me up again. Normally, I would be against such madness and would argue that I needed only one, which was Vittorio, to do the job alone. However, the moment my father insisted on getting the best doctors to help and supervise for whatever unknown emergencies inside the operating room, I knew I had to appease him. I was his only child, his sole heir, so I didn’t want to add more stress on his already uncontainable blood pressure.

There was a sliver of hope in the back recesses of my mind, hoping that she would show up the moment she found out about me getting the procedure. And no matter how much I kept telling myself that I didn’t care if she showed herself or not, it hurt to realize how little I mattered to her on the days that passed without a word from her.

She had campaigned for this operation from the start, but I supposed I wasn’t all too relevant in her life any longer. Her absence was felt, and each day, it gave me another reason to keep on living, to keep on moving and live the life I’d had before I had met her, but with a mellowed out recklessness.

As a result, I lavished in the spotlight, the adored lifestyle, and seeking the company of my old friends, who had no idea of what I had gone through with Kimberly. She was my best kept secret, I supposed.

When Andrés addressed the issue at one point, I had to shut him down by telling him the woman was married, and since the baby would basically be taking Kimberly’s married name, I had no legal right to him or her. Besides, getting involved in such triviality would be too messy. Not only that, I wasn’t ready to have a kid at this point in my life.

He had given me a shrewd look, as if he doubted whatever lies I had fed him, but said no more. There was something about the way he nodded. It was like he knew the battle I was going through, so I need not explain myself. I was grateful for it since it was a hardship talking about it.

Thinking about her and the baby was difficult enough to do; could one imagine breaking it down to someone? It would kill me inside. It didn’t help that I was counting down the months until she gave birth. Not to mention, I didn’t even know the gender of the baby. I supposed it was safe to be in the dark about these things, because if I had found out the gender, I wouldn’t trust myself. I would get too attached—too everything—and I would most likely end up going to the baby store and buying every single thing that I saw in sight.

Every single time I thought about the baby, there was this deep-seated longing inside of me, an ache that kept gnawing at my heart.

The nights were lethally nostalgic. They triggered my weakest points. Therefore, to remedy this situation, I mostly went out at night, finding myself surrounded by people I trusted. I hadn’t thus far gotten involved with any women, though, because I wasn’t sure if I could perform. It wasn’t as if my cock had a malfunction, but my mind and the way it was wired for some insufferable reason made it to where I couldn’t get the engine roaring with other women. But have
her
enter my mind at any given hour and my cock would stir without a problem.. Therefore, I left it be, not craving sex but merely other people’s company as I slowly built my confidence in myself and my resistance to all the bullshit this world shoved at me.

I was a wounded man who was pretending that everything was perfect. It was a wearisome façade that I had to keep on for the world to see. However, I believed someday it wouldn’t be a mask anymore, that someday I would be that carefree again.

In the next three weeks, I would be back on the racetracks amongst friends for a charity event. I had thought it a brilliant idea to slowly introduce myself back into the media.

That was one aspect of my life I could control. I had to relish it.

It was time to get back what I had lost.

Otto

Kimberly

It was before nine in the morning while I was making myself a ham and cheese sandwich when I felt the baby kick for the first time. Immediately, I tensed in sudden awe and surprise as my hand gently pressed against the spot where it had moved against my tummy. After a few seconds, there it was again, kicking in excitement, as if greeting me, as if letting me know he was alive and well.

Yes, it was a he … a baby boy. I was so overjoyed with the news that I cried for the entire day after learning the baby’s gender. It wasn’t an “it” any longer; he had a gender, forming into a beautiful creature who would greet me in the next few months. It was exhilarating as well as daunting, but I had never treasured anything more in my life than this precious life that was budding inside my belly.

Then, out of the blue, a random thought occurred to me. I had this sudden urge to seek Luca and share this precious moment with him. For weeks, I had known he would be at a charity event in Monza, so I had no doubt he would be there all day since the festivities for such things normally lasted until the wee hours of the morning. And, from what I had seen on the tabloids, he had gone back to his old ways.

He seemed happy enough, but rather much more serious than before. The easy, gorgeous smiles were few and far between these days. I supposed I had contributed to a lot of his sadness. What he had demanded and wished was something I couldn’t give him, and after I had learned a contract had been drawn up specifically for the baby’s benefit, I knew I was in trouble. I could only be thankful he had grown a conscience and withdrawn everything.

There were papers that still needed to be read, reviewed, and signed, but I hadn’t opened them yet. From what the lawyer had told me, it was a contract of how much the baby and myself were entitled to each month, and in the case of Luca’s death, the baby was legally the rightful heir of his family’s empire. It was all too much to take in, so I had decided to keep it somewhere safe, and I would get to it once I was ready, maybe when the baby was older.

According to the lawyer, there was no hurry, and I had no timeframe as to when I should submit it, so I could take all the time I needed to let it all sink in. I appreciated that kind gesture. I didn’t want to think about taking money from him, let alone when he was dead. Our baby might, though; it was his father, after all.

Sighing, I pushed away the thought of Luca and the newly made sandwich all in one gesture, seeming more convinced that I had to see him in Monza. It was risky, but there was something urgent that propelled me to go see him. Although it was odd and irrational, I knew I must, or I wouldn’t stop obsessing.

With my mind set on one task, I gathered what I needed before taking my old yet reliable Citroën that had seen better days. With butter cookies, Aranciata Pellegrino, and a few bottles of water, I was set to go for my drive to see Luca. Anton would probably wonder where I was, so I better not forget to text him when I arrived at my destination, hopefully in less than six hours’ time, depending on traffic.

It was drastic—I realized that—but it couldn’t be helped. The last time I had seen him … Well, that hadn’t gone the way I had planned it, and somehow everything seemed to have evaporated between us.

This event was his first after he had bravely gone through the operation, and I wanted to see him in action. Upon learning he had gone through with the surgery, I had often found myself in the hospital corridors, wanting to visit him. I never had the courage to see him, though, until now.