Montana Cherries (24 page)

Dani watched his gaze as it swept the room. He wasn’t interested in the dancing so much as the dancers. He might be a tough nut to crack personally, but that didn’t mean he sat at home all by himself in his spare time. Her second-oldest brother was a ladies’ man, and always had been.

Dani now wondered how much the distance he kept between himself and women had to do with how their mother had treated him. Had she ruined everyone in the family for relationships? At least Jay seemed to be doing it right.

“Hey, baby.” A scantily dressed woman sidled up to Cord as if he’d hung out a shingle advertising a good time. “Buy a girl a drink?”

And with that, Cord disappeared into the throng.

“So much for hanging with him tonight,” Dani mumbled.

Nate laughed behind her. When she glanced back, she saw that he had a look like Cord’s in his eyes. “I suspect our hanging out tonight involves seeing each other from a distance,” he informed her. “But I’m glad you came with us.”

His gaze landed on someone, and he shot his sister a wink. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, sis.” And then he, too, was gone.

“They’re dropping like flies,” she said to Ben.

“Can’t blame them.” He nodded at a group of five women heading their way. All of them wore skirts that barely covered their butts, and she could feel the buzz already coming from Nick.

“Good grief,” she mumbled. It was a meat market.

“We’ll catch you later,” Gabe told her as the girls descended on the remaining dateless brother.

Gabe and Michelle moved into the crowd along with Nick and the five giggling girls. Michelle looked as hot as any other woman there tonight—probably hotter—but Dani was glad to see that her clothing was slightly more respectable than most. Not completely flaunt-your-assets-and-announce-your-intentions. Though some of her assets
were
definitely flaunted.

Her black dress had a nice plunge with a fair amount of cleavage and a hollowed-out back, and hugged her body tight. But it came to her knees with a statement of class instead of trash. If Dani wasn’t still irritated with her for the way she treated Gabe and Jenna, she’d freely admit that her sister-in-law was quite gorgeous. She supposed
that’s
what her brother had seen in her.

“I’m glad you came out with us,” Megan said to Dani and Ben, as she and Jaden stepped forward to fill the space vacated by the others. “This is a great way to spend the last weekend with everybody here.”

Dani had to agree. “Thanks for letting us tag along.”

She took in her youngest brother, still looking as smitten as ever with his girlfriend, then held out a hand to him. “Dance with me, kid?”

Shock crossed Jay’s face, and Dani saw Megan’s smile widen.

“You think you can keep up with me?” her brother asked. “You
are
ten years older.”

“I’m also wiser.” Though that was probably not true. Jaden was a smart guy. “Come on, smartass, show your old sister what you’ve got.”

She pulled Jaden to the dance floor, glad for the opportunity, and behind her Ben held out a hand to Megan. This was definitely what they’d needed tonight. All of them.

The two-step was the current dance choice, so she and Jay turned to each other.

Jaden was a few inches shorter than the other brothers, but still several inches taller than Dani. Only, with her heels, they were almost the same height. “I’m sorry about giving you a hard time about graduate school.”

He eyed her. “You already said that. We’ve moved past it.”

“Have we?” Because, though she and the rest of her brothers had been doing okay the last few days, more distance than she was comfortable with remained between her and Jaden.

“We have,” he answered. He twirled her in time with the music.

“Then what’s the problem?”

“No problem.” His gaze trailed Ben and Megan as the couple passed them.

“Jay.” She turned his face back to hers. “We have to be okay before I leave. Tell me how to fix it.”

He pushed her around the floor for a few more seconds, not replying, then led them out of the pack and to the quieter back hallway. “We’re okay,” he assured her. “I promise. The issue is mine. I feel guilt for my part in things. Thanks to an early psychology class, and my own interest in the subject, I figured out what was wrong with Mom early on—way before college—and I brought that to the guys. That’s when the conversation first started about what happened to her. I should have included you. I know that now. But I didn’t, so I feel guilty.”

Shock kept her quiet for an extra beat. She hadn’t given the specifics too much thought, but she never would’ve guessed it to be Jaden who’d left her out. “It’s not your fault,” she began.

“Yes. It is. But the thing is, I excluded you on purpose. I knew Mom had been harder on you, that you were living in some kind of alternate universe, and I wasn’t sure what you could handle or what you couldn’t. I was wrong to be concerned. You can handle anything. You’re the strongest female I know. And I should have known that all along. I just hope my actions haven’t led to you now believing otherwise.”

Her baby brother had always been more sensitive than the rest, but his words surprised her. “You’re worried about me?”

“Did you think you’d cornered the market on worrying? We worry about you, sis. A lot.”

His words brought tears to her eyes.

“Ah, geez,” he mumbled. “Come on. Don’t cry here in public.”

“What’s the matter? Afraid you’ll get teary too?”

“I won’t get teary.”

But she thought, given the right circumstances, he just might. He was a great kid. And he felt things deeply—even if he had made the mistake of thinking she couldn’t handle the facts. “I’m proud of you, Jay. A lot. You’ll do great in school. Thanks for telling me this tonight.”

He nodded. “I’m proud of you too. You’re going to be a rock star in New York.” He paused before continuing. “Will you do something for me, though?”

“Anything.”

He took her by the elbow and moved them from the hallway out the back door. The wind caught her hair and whipped it into her face as the door clanged closed behind them. “See someone, sis. A therapist. You’re strong, but . . . you lived with her disorder a lot longer than the rest of us. That affects a person. Way deeper than you might realize.”

She stared at him, suddenly glad he’d brought it up. If she could talk to anyone in her family about this, it was him. “I’ve been remembering a lot lately. Some of it really bothers me.”

“And some of it probably has affected your behavior,” he explained. “Or the way you care about others. It’s not genetic, but it is learned.”

She thought of all her failed relationships. “Probably so.”

“See someone. It’ll help.” He gave her a slight smile. “It helped me.”

“You’ve been in therapy?”

“At school, yeah. And trust me. It helps. I was probably damaged the least of all of us, but not having Mom show affection got into my head. She yelled at me for wanting attention. Belittled me. I remember that clearly, as young as four, maybe three years old. She didn’t touch me. She showed zero attention. That’s why I went into this field. It’s why I need to go further. But I want you to be okay, too. So will you consider it?”

“I will.” Especially since her brother was worrying about her.

“Good. And we have to work on you and Dad, too,” he added.

She groaned. “I’m not ready to work on Dad, Jay. I feel like he deserted me back then. And it’s like I can only deal with one thing at a time. Right now, I’m dealing with me.”

“He did desert you. But I don’t think he really gets that. He loves you. He feels bad about everything. But he probably doesn’t understand how
he
added to the problem.”

“He’s the one who should be in therapy,” Dani mumbled.

“
You
should be too.”

“I will. I promise.” She wanted to get past this with her dad, but she needed to know that he wanted it, too. That he was willing to put in the work to get there.

And he needed to understand how his actions had impacted her.

“Would you talk to him about it, though?” she asked. That might actually help. “If he’s seeing someone here while I’m seeing someone there, I’ll know that he’s putting in an effort, too. Because right now, I feel like he’s just sitting around waiting for me to get over it. And Jay, I’m not sure I’ll ever get over it.”

Her brother took her hands. “You won’t get over it, sis. But you will recover. I promise you. See a therapist, and work on yourself. You’ll be fine. You’ll be amazing. Not having Mom in your life now is the best thing you’ve got going for you. She hasn’t been in your head in years. She won’t ever be in your head again.”

Except she was there every day right now.

“And yes,” Jaden continued. “I’ll talk to Dad. He contributed to the problem by continuing to allow it to happen. He needs to realize that and do his part to make it right.”

“Thank you.” She hated the whiny sound that came out as her voice.

“Also, I apologize for keeping everything from you for so long.” He squeezed her hands. “But I apologize most for not including you to begin with. Our knowing, our talking about it together, was helpful. It solidified us in a way that you didn’t get the opportunity to be a part of. And I regret that. I hope it doesn’t mean we can’t move past it, though. Be stronger because of it.”

Dani nodded. His words were sincere, and that was all the apology she needed. “Thank you. No one has acknowledged that, just explained how they were protecting me.”

“We were. But we went about it wrong. We should have done better.”

The back door opened, and Ben and Megan stood there, music blaring behind them.

“You okay?” Ben asked. Concern filled his face.

Jaden let go of Dani’s hands, while Megan looked on nervously.

“I’m good,” Dani answered. At the stress marring Megan’s brow, Dani wrapped an arm around her brother’s waist and added, “Jaden was just telling me how much he loves me.”

Megan beamed. Jaden groaned.

And Dani felt warmth settle in her heart.

They were good again. They would be okay.

Those ten minutes spent standing in the back parking lot with her brother tonight could turn out to be the most important ten minutes of her life. And for the first time since Cord had spoken the word
suicide
, Dani thought she might actually come out the other side of this all right.

The night before the party, Ben sat out on the dock with Dani after dark, both of them having a beer instead of ice cream. The ice cream had been put away for the past few days, as had the secrecy around their relationship, and Ben couldn’t be more relieved.

Not having to confine their time together to only the night hours had opened up new possibilities for them. He’d sought her out during the days. Snuck kisses whenever he could. And even had a steamy make-out session under a cherry tree earlier that day.

They’d grown closer.

And Ben had begun to look at their relationship in a whole new light.

So tonight, he’d brought her down to the beach instead of dragging her off to bed. They had tonight and tomorrow night left, then she’d board a plane. He couldn’t let her go without her understanding how he felt.

“I’m going to miss this sky,” Dani said. She was sitting between his legs, her back to his chest, and her face tilted to the heavens. They’d been like that for an hour.

“I suspect it’ll even miss you.”

She gave a soft snort. “That makes no sense.”

“I know. But it won’t be the same without you here, sneaking off to stare at the sky.”

“I’ll have to fit plenty of that in on trips home, then.”

“You think you’ll be coming home much?”

She was silent for a moment, before shaking her head. “Probably not. I’ll be busy. A new job is stressful,” she added. “Then there’s the fact that none of us will be living here. And me and Dad . . .” She trailed off.

“Nothing better there?”

“Not yet.” She angled her head back farther, and turned her gaze up to his. “I’m hopeful, though. I noticed today that I didn’t feel as angry toward him. I still haven’t talked to him again, but the thought no longer makes me want to throw something.”

He kissed the tip of her nose. “That’s good. Improvement.”

She shrugged. “It’s better than nothing.”

She went back to staring at the sky, and he closed his eyes. He couldn’t just let her walk away from him for good, could he? Out of his and Haley’s life forever? They needed more time.

“I wanted to tell you something tonight,” he confessed.

“What’s that?” Instead of looking at him, she turned to her side and snuggled in against his chest. He wrapped his arms tight around her and breathed in her scent. The mixture of the flowers from her shampoo, the smell of the lake, and the fresh air of Montana would forever remind him of Dani.

“That this isn’t just sex for me,” he said.

She went still in his arms.

“It’s not just us having fun,” he added.

“You know I’m leaving, Ben. I
have
to go.”

“I know. And I’m not suggesting you don’t. But you need to know.” He forced his fingers to release the clench they’d formed at her waist, and thought about options. Long-distance relationship? More? “I care about you, Dani. A hell of a lot.”