Montana Cherries (10 page)

Everyone else’s attention had refocused on their own kids, and Ben’s gaze lifted from Haley to Dani. And that’s when she noticed there was more than shock lurking inside him. He was angry.

And carrying not a small bit of pain.

Dani studied him as she patted Haley’s back. Her taking his daughter away from him had hurt. Or better yet, Haley pulling away had more likely been the culprit. But whichever had caused the problem, Dani wasn’t sure what else she could have done. The child had been terrified. Dani couldn’t stand there and let it continue.

That didn’t seem to matter to Ben.

“You can get her back to the house,” he ground out.

He walked away then, leaving Dani and Haley staring after him.

chapter nine

D
ani peered over the pull-out map in the adventure book, and smiled down at Haley and Jenna. Nick and Jaden had already been in, and each read a book to the girls, but the excitement of having uncles in the house had led Jenna to beg for more. Haley had been right there with her, only her “excitement” had more resembled unease. All thanks to her daddy walking away from her at the festival earlier that day. And then not coming back to the house.

“So you see,” Dani began, returning her mind to the map, “I’ll be way over here in this state.”

“New York,” Jenna added.

“That’s right, New York. And where will you two be? Haley, do you want to show me?”

After running Nick and Jaden out of the room, Dani had finally gotten the girls to settle down, and the three of them had looked at the map and read about both states twice. Following the episode at the fair, it seemed a wise thing to find a way to explain the situation so Haley could better understand.

The little girl lifted up off the mattress and pointed to the state of Montana. She gave a tiny smile when Dani praised her, and Mike joined in with his own congratulatory lick to her face.

“That’s Montana,” Jenna filled in. Jenna and Dani had done this same exercise several weeks earlier when Dani’s plans had first come together. “And we’ll come visit you sometimes,” Jenna added, “and you’ll come visit us.”

“Will I get to visit you, too?” Haley asked.

That was a toughie. Because . . . probably not. Dani didn’t see Ben packing up his daughter and making a cross-country flight to see a girl he’d once had a one-night stand with.

She leaned in and gave Haley a big hug. “I don’t know, baby. I think your daddy’s probably going to be too busy.”

Tears welled up in Haley’s eyes. “But I wanna come see you.”

Oh, geez. This really wasn’t going the way she’d planned.

“When my daddy and I come to visit,” Jenna said, “we’ll bring you, too.”

Thank goodness for Jenna. Except, Gabe and Michelle might not agree with the suggested plan.

But Dani didn’t really care about that at the moment. “That sounds perfect to me.”

It would have to do, because Dani wasn’t prepared to argue the point. She was strung out from the afternoon. Haley hadn’t calmed down after Ben walked away from them, and after hunting up her brothers and Jenna, Dani had hurriedly strapped the girl into the car seat she kept for Jenna and headed home. Only to find that Ben hadn’t returned to the house.

Dani had gone red-hot with anger. She hadn’t let it show, though. Haley didn’t need any additional stress to come from the afternoon.

So instead of spending a few hours working, Dani had set aside her plans and taken Haley for a long walk. They’d checked on the cherries before heading down to the beach. Both of them got their feet wet along the shoreline, picking out the prettiest rocks, then practicing the fine art of skipping them across the lake. Sadly, Dani’s skill was at about the same level as Haley’s.

The entire time they’d been out there, Ben had been remained absent.

She stood and clicked off the top part of the lamp, leaving the smaller, bottom half on as a night-light. Haley had asked earlier if they could sleep with the light on tonight, so this had been the concession.

“Will you tell my daddy I’m sorry I cried?” Haley asked from the bed. “I didn’t want to go in that thing, but I’ll try the next time.”

Haley had been worrying about upsetting her father all this time?

Dani was going to kick Ben’s butt.

If he ever showed back up.

She returned to the edge of the mattress and took Haley’s hand. Jenna and Mike watched in silence. “I’ll tell him, sweetie, but you know he didn’t mean to upset you, don’t you?”

The night-light allowed Dani to see Haley’s nod. “He wants me to have friends.”

“Yes.” Dani nodded encouragingly. She also tried to smile. “Because he doesn’t want you to be lonely after I leave, and because Jenna may not always be around to play with. But if it takes you a long time to be ready to go into the bounce house, then all you have to do is tell your dad you aren’t ready, okay?”

“But it might make him mad.”

“No, baby.” Dani hugged the girl tight, squeezing so hard Haley lifted up off the bed. “It won’t make him mad, and it didn’t make him mad today. He just doesn’t always understand little girls, so he didn’t know how bad you didn’t want to go in there. All you need to do now is tell him with words, okay? He’ll listen. I promise.”

She would make sure of it.

Ben couldn’t push too hard or Haley would fight back every time. If for no other reason than so much of her life had been upended in the past month, and she needed to have some amount of control over it.

But also, Dani had no doubt that still in the back of Haley’s mind lay the fear she’d felt when she realized her mother hadn’t wanted her.

Dani stood once more.

Her emotions were right on the edge, and she needed to get away. It was time for ice cream. After wishing them a good-night, she quickly stepped to the other side of the door. And as had happened several nights before, Ben stood there waiting for her.

His gaze glanced off the closed bedroom door before coming back to hers. “Take a walk with me.”

Not
will you
take a walk. Simply,
do it.

No concern for his daughter? No apology for leaving the two of them and disappearing for hours?

Oh, hell yes, she’d take a walk with him. She was ripe to take a walk with him.

Without saying a word, she moved quickly past him and down the stairs. In the living room were her three brothers and Megan, all watching a ghost hunter show. Gabe looked up as she entered the room.

“Can you keep an ear out for the girls?” Dani asked. “Ben and I need to talk.”

“Sure.” Gabe tossed a look at Ben, but no one in the room said another word.

Continuing her controlled march, Dani exited the back door and headed down the stairs. When she reached the ground, she whirled. “You asshole,” she shouted, all the anger from the afternoon exploding out in the single word. She punctuated her point with a finger jabbed his way. “You ungrateful, selfish, good-for-nothing
ass
.”

“Dani.” Ben grabbed her elbow and pulled her away from the house. She jerked out of his hold. “Calm down,” he urged.

“Don’t you dare tell me to calm down,” she yelled. She did move her feet, though, because he had a point. They probably had four pairs of eyes watching them through the windows lining the back of the house. Every one of them was aware that she’d come home with Ben’s daughter—but without Ben—and that she hadn’t been especially pleased about it.

Not wanting to put on a show, she followed Ben.

He had deserted his daughter today. What was wrong with the man?

His steps were long and sure, and when Dani realized he was leading them to the beach she jerked to a halt. “Not the beach,” she snapped out.

He looked back. “Why not?”

“Not. The. Beach.” She pivoted to her right, leaving him to follow. Thank goodness it stayed light until late this time of year or she’d probably smack her head on one of the branches of the many cherry trees. Because she was not going to the beach with that man. The beach had once been their spot. It had been their
friendship
.

It had also been where she’d launched herself at him, seeking a kiss.

Which he’d turned down.

“Dani,” Ben said behind her.

“Shut up, Ben. I’m not ready to talk to you yet.”

Wisely, he complied.

They walked for several additional minutes, Dani burning off steam until she finally began to slow down. She pictured Haley again as Ben had walked away from them that afternoon—Haley had done nothing to deserve that. Heck,
she
had done nothing to deserve that.

And Ben should have known better.

Finally, she ran out of steam and stopped.

She didn’t turn to Ben, though, but instead tilted her head back and stared up through the branches of the trees to the darkening sky. The world was so big out here. So peaceful. It had always been the thing that kept her sane, to come out here and stare up at the sky.

Until that moment, she’d thought those late-night sessions on the dock had started after she’d come home from college. She’d thought it had been about losing her mother.

She would come outside to reset for the following day, maybe to speak to her mother, to search for guidance. And to remind herself that she was lucky to have the family and the life that she did have. It didn’t matter what she’d had to give up.

But standing in the middle of the orchard right that very moment, angry on Haley’s behalf, and on the verge of tears due to the emotions assaulting her, Dani also remembered coming out here
before
she’d gone away to college. Sometimes she’d walk through the fields alone, while other times it had been straight to the beach. Her dad had figured out she was sneaking out late at night and had tried to put a stop to it, but she’d begged him to let this be her thing.

He’d seemed to understand that she needed to have her own quiet space. And he’d agreed; it could be her thing.

“You won’
t tell Mom?”

Dani closed her eyes as the question echoed through her head.

“I won’t tell Mom.”

He’d hugged her then. Long and hard. He’d
loved
her then.

And yes, he still loved her today. She knew that. Just as she loved him. But things had changed at some point in their lives. A distance had formed between father and daughter, and it had never completely closed.

“Dani.”

She jumped and spun around, having forgotten she was out there with Ben.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Haley,” she answered bluntly. Was he seriously that blind that he didn’t get that?

“I don’t mean with her. I know that. We’ll talk about that.” He motioned toward Dani. “I mean with you. What just happened? Where’d you go?”

“Nowhere.” She shook her head.

She’d gone into a past that was different than the one she remembered.

With some of the anger having evaporated, she could now talk to Ben rationally. “You hurt your daughter today.”

“I know.” He looked completely repentant. “I handled things badly. My only excuse is that I don’t do rejection well. When she wanted you instead of me . . .” He shrugged. “It felt personal.”

“She’s a child, Ben. Grow up. She didn’t reject you. She was terrified. She’s had a crappy month, and you tried to shove her into an oversize balloon filled with strangers. I would have run from you, too.”

“I know. I’m an idiot. Hell, Dani. I don’t know what I’m doing with her. Half the time I think things are going okay, and the next instant I’m drowning. I’m in completely over my head, and the person who has to pay for that is Haley.”

“You can’t walk out on her like you did.”

He glared at her as if he thought she were an idiot. “Don’t you think I know that?”

“No.” She glared back. “As a matter of fact, I don’t. Because that’s exactly what you did today. Just like her mother. You walked out on her.” She could see that her words had an impact.

“Fuck,” he muttered. His shoulders slumped. And for the first time since they’d started arguing, Ben seemed to see past his own issues. Beyond the difficulty of having parenthood thrust upon him. He saw how
his
actions could affect
his
daughter. “Christ, Dani. I didn’t even think about it like that.”

She didn’t want to soften at the destroyed look on his face, but she couldn’t help it. She softened. She began walking once again, more slowly than before, and Ben followed along beside her.

“She’s scared, Ben. And the worst part . . .” Her voice cracked as she relived sitting in the bedroom with Haley tonight, hearing her apologize for crying. “The worst part is that she asked me to tell you she’s sorry.”

Ben stared at her. “For what?”

“For upsetting you. She’s sorry for upsetting
you
, Ben Denton. She doesn’t want you to be mad at her for crying.”

“My God.” The look on his face was pure horror. ”I screwed up and
she
feels bad about it?”

Dani nodded. “That’s pretty much the way of it.”

“I just wanted to help.” His words came across as pleading. “To get her more friends. Jenna won’t—”

He pressed his lips into a straight line and gazed toward the setting sun, its orange glow just beginning to stretch toward the mountains. “Jenna may not always be around,” he finished. “I know what loneliness feels like, and I don’t want that for Haley.”

Dani put her hand on his forearm, and they both stopped walking. They remained shrouded in the trees, the almost-ripe cherries heavy on the branches and a light wind drifting through the night. It was a peaceful scene, but inside she could see Ben’s torment.

“She’ll get there,” she assured him. “With the right support. But her mother deserted her and you can’t forget that. Ever. She’s probably terrified Lia’s leaving was due to something she’d done, and she won’t want to do the same with you.”