Monster: Angels of Chaos MC (9 page)

Chapter 15

“Wow,” he whispers, already breathing more heavily. “I guess I’d better brush up on my cooking skills, huh?”

I giggle, then moan softly as his fingers begin massaging my clit. “I was thinking about getting washed up. What do you think?”

He nods, his eyes wider, his breathing heavier still. I glance down to see the growing bulge in his pants. I have to tear myself away from the hand between my legs long enough to walk upstairs. I pull the sweatshirt over my head as I go.

What’s come over me? I’ve never been so brazen, so forward. He’s unlocked something inside me for sure. I might never be the same.

I reach the bathroom first, turning on the water in the big claw foot tub before turning to him. I run my hands down his chest and torso before stopping at his waistband, then unbutton his fly. I never break eye contact, staring up into his eyes. A small smile plays over his mouth.

I slide the jeans down his legs, over his feet. Then I step into the tub, the water running hot now. Steam is already filling the room. He joins me, bringing the temperature up even higher.

We soap each other up, taking our time. His hands are all over me, everywhere. My skin is on fire from his touch. He slowly, thoroughly soaps my breasts. His hands are moving in circles over them. I sigh, closing my eyes to soak in the sensation. When his fingers close in on my nipples, I groan, holding onto his shoulders to keep myself upright.

“So slippery. Just like other places.”

I can’t help laughing, which he cuts off when his mouth covers mine. He wraps one strong arm around me, holding my body close to him. I feel his cock against me, pressing into me. He’s so hard, so thick. I wiggle against him, my soapy skin sliding over his stiffness. He groans into my mouth. I reach down between us, my hand closing over his erection. I start stroking slowly. He thrusts into my hand as his tongue thrusts into my mouth.

His free hand runs down my back to my ass. I gasp, pulling my mouth from his to moan. He takes my thigh in his hand, pulling my leg up and around his hip. He presses me to the wall, finding my heat and plunging into it.

“Oh, Jax!” I grip his shoulders, holding on for dear life as he rocks against me. He fills me so completely, pushing into me again and again.

“Yes…yes…Christina…” The way he grunts my name as he thrusts into me drives me insane. Knowing I have this power over him, that I can control his pleasure, is more than enough to combine with the physical pleasure and send me over the edge.

“Jax!” I scream his name, head thrown back. I shudder all over, my head now dropping to his shoulder. My grip on him relaxes, relief flooding my body.

He’s not finished, however. He slides out of me, steadying me on my rather shaky legs. He washes quickly down there, still hard. I follow his lead, then follow him into the bedroom.

We’re both wrapped in big, fluffy towels. Another touch of comfort I wouldn’t expect a hard, tough man like him to indulge in. Jax sits on the bed, towel around his waist, holding out a hand for me to stand in front of him. He unwraps me, my nipples instantly rock-hard from the cool air and excitement.

Then he surprises me, tenderly drying my skin with the towel. I watch him, his face serious, involved in his job. Where does this come from, this sudden gentleness? I place a hand on the back of his neck, kneading it gently as he works. I think of the sweet boy he must have been, in contrast to the man he thought he needed to become.

His mouth closes over one my breasts, drawing a sigh from me. He pulls me closer, his hands on my hips. It feels so good, his skilled tongue rolling in circles over my nipple, making my breath come faster and harder so soon after my last climax. He knows me so well, exactly what will turn me on and drive me insane.

Then he stands in front of me, letting the towel fall from his waist. He holds the back of my head, then takes handfuls of my hair. He pulls my head back, tilting my face to his. I gasp, hissing through my teeth. It’s surprising, but arousing.

“Do you like that?” He tugs my hair again, just enough to make me gasp. It hurts, but just a little. Mostly, it feels incredible, sending flashes of warmth straight to my core.

“Yes,” I whisper, earning another slight tug in reply. I bite my lip, moaning again.

He kisses me deeply, overtaking me. His hands are still in my hair, pulling, while his tongue sweeps through my mouth. I groan loudly, desperate for more. He sucks my bottom lip between his own. He takes it between his teeth, biting down. I gasp, but when he stops, I kiss him even harder. I’m wetter than I’ve ever been, wanting more.

He pushes me to the bed, then lowers himself over me. His mouth touches every bit of my skin, setting me on fire. I can’t think, can hardly breathe, can only sink deeper into the pleasure he’s giving me.

Before long, his mouth is on my mound, licking my lips. My hips leave the bed, sensation rocking me. His tongue laps at me, flicking against my clit. I never thought I liked oral sex until I was with him. Now I see what the big deal is about as Jax’s mouth drives me crazy with passion.

“Oh, God! Please!” My whole body tenses as I scream again and again, the tongue on my pussy sending me over the edge.

I’m not even finished coming before Jax stretches out beside me, on his back. “Let me watch you,” he mutters, stroking himself. I get up on my hands and knees, then straddle him. I guide him into my wetness, then sink slowly down until he’s in up to the hilt.

“You feel so good,” I whisper, grinding my hips against him. I find the best angle, the best rhythm for me. He holds onto my ass, watching me as I get myself off on him. His hands knead me, stroke me, even dip between my cheeks. It’s so wrong, so wicked. And it makes me even crazier.

“That’s right. Make yourself come for me.”

I look down at him, his gorgeous body, his face. His eyes, staring up at me with so much heat. I see myself in them, actually see myself as sexy. Sexual. Sensual. My thrusting picks up, gets faster, harder.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” he groans. For the first time, I believe him.

I lean down, stretching my body over his, still moving up and down. He takes my hips more firmly in his hands, forcing me down onto him harder. He starts thrusting up into me, and I moan into his neck.

“Come for me,” he grunts in my ear. I moan again, his words pushing me closer to climax. He starts slamming me down, thrusting with all his might. I tighten around him, then my muscles twitch and jump as the pleasure washes over me.

He’s still holding on, waiting for me to finish. Once my muscles relax around him, he lifts me up. “From behind,” he growls. Like an animal. I love it.

No sooner am I on my hands and knees, he’s back inside me, slamming himself home. I shriek, the orgasm building so quickly. I realize I’m having another one, already. I don’t think I can take it.

I feel Jax’s hand in my hair, pulling it again. I scream, the sensation too much to handle. “Fuck! Jax!” It’s like I’m exploding from the inside, into a million pieces. Then I dissolve, washed over with warmth. He’s still slamming, faster and faster, until his cries tell me he’s coming, too.

“Oh, Jesus,” he breathes, sliding out of me before falling on his side.

I can’t reply. I’m too lost, floating in a haze of pleasure. He keeps taking me to heights I didn’t think were possible. I never thought I’d be into pain—though it wasn’t pain, exactly. More like play. Still, he overwhelmed me. Conquered me.

“Wow. Even after all that showering, I feel like I need another one…” he jokes.

I laugh, smacking his arm lightly.

“You’re a pretty dirty guy. You need all the help you can get.” He rolls onto his side, grabbing me. I scream with laughter, trying to wrestle free of him. He’s too strong.

Soon, we’re kissing again, but this time, it doesn’t go anywhere. Kissing is enough.

Chapter 16

We both shower again, needing to get cleaned up after all that playing around. “We have to conserve water,” Jax tells me before getting in with me. I don’t bother putting up a fight. I don’t want to. I laugh instead, pulling him close to me and offering to soap him up. By the time we’re finished, the water is nearly ice cold.

This is bliss. Could every day be this way? I’m not naïve. I know it wouldn’t be this way forever. All relationships calm down eventually. We’re in the new phase. If Jax and I got together, we wouldn’t be hopping in and out of bed every day.

Though I wouldn’t complain if we did. From the grin he can’t seem to keep off his face, I don’t think he’d mind, either.

By noon, I feel the noose tightening around my neck. I know I should go. I don’t want to push too far or put him in a position where he feels it’s time to ask me to leave. That would be humiliating.

There’s just one problem: I don’t want to leave. To his credit, Jax seems pretty laidback about me being here. This is a change from the man I first met two days ago. Back then, he was brusque, almost angry at times. Now he’s relaxed, joking with me. Maybe he needed to get laid as badly as I did.

Nah.
I can’t look at him and consider such a possibility. I’m sure panties hit the floor the minute he walks into a bar. To think, I’m the one who just had sex with him. I’ve never felt proud of myself for something like this before. I never had a reason to.

“What do you wanna do now? I know you can’t want more sex. I think you’re set for months.”

I scowl at him. “Full of yourself much?”

“Am I wrong?”

I consider it. “Weeks, maybe. Not months.”

“I’ll take it.” He grins so sexily. When he’s dark, brooding, he’s hot. Something in me responds every time. But this version? The smiling, lighthearted Jax? It’s another thing entirely. My heart opens to him against my better judgement.

“Whatever, like you could go again right now.”

“Baby, you don’t even know what I could do right now. I can go all night.”

“Oh?” I can’t help feeling intrigued. “I wish I’d have known that last night.”

“Your loss. So sex is out, for now. Anything else?”

I look around. There’s not much to do. I’m desperate to think of something to do. I don’t want to leave.

Jax answers his own question. “Board games?”

I can’t help laughing. “You have board games here? For real?”

He frowns. “Why wouldn’t I? Who do you think I am?”

“Not the type of guy who sits around playing board games in front of the fireplace.”

“I’m a pretty deep guy.” He gets up from where we’ve been sitting on the floor, playing with the dog. “What do you wanna play? I have a bunch.”

Whatever takes the longest
. “Monopoly?”

“Sure.”

I can’t help grinning in triumph. I hate Monopoly, usually, because it takes so damn long to play. Now? That extra time is like a gift from heaven.

***

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?” he asks me. We’re both on our stomachs on opposite sides of the board.

“No, I’m an only child.”

“Ahh. I guess your parents were really looking forward to having you come home, then.”

“They were. I was looking forward to seeing them, too. I’ll have to plan another time soon.”

“You’re still close with them?”

“Very. Almost too close with my mom.” I’ll never be able to tell her about this weekend, though. Jax knows I gave her a story about the roads leading from the motel being in no condition for driving. It wasn’t a complete lie; the roads really were crap. I just wasn’t at a motel.

“How about you?” I ask quietly. I know better than to expect him to be forthcoming.

“They’re all older. Much older. Half-siblings, a different father. They were all grown by the time I was born.”

“Oh, really? Like a second marriage, second family situation?”

He chuckles, moving his piece along the board. “Yeah. Something like that.” Got it. I went too far. “I didn’t have a lot of friends. I was alone a lot of the time. I did a lot of reading, which was considered just as lame as cooking and tending lawns. Good thing my old man was hardly ever around or else he probably would have burned my books.”

I don’t know what to say. I feel awful for him, and more grateful than ever for my own parents. The picture he’s painting for me…I know better than ever how he wound up the way he is: alone.

“I needed something when I was growing up. By the time I was old enough, I got into some trouble. I didn’t make good choices. I regret them.” He looks at me, hard. “I regret them with all my heart. I need you to believe that.”

“I do,” I whisper. I don’t know what mistakes he’s talking about, but I know what it means to have regret. The look on his face is heartbreaking.

“We all make stupid mistakes when we’re young. Especially when we’re running away from something. Know what I mean? I was running away from being alone, feeling like an outsider in town. An outsider in my own family. All my brothers and sisters were from the ‘good’ dad, the one my mom loved. He died in a work accident. My dad, though, was a bum, an asshole. She took it out on me, even if she didn’t know she was doing it. I needed to belong somewhere.”

“That makes sense. We all need to feel like we belong.” I’m trying to piece together the clues he’s giving me. I’m only more confused than ever. What’s he trying to tell me?

I keep going, wanting to make him feel better. “I was running away from something when I got together with Tommy.”

“Running away from what? Another guy?”

“No.” I laugh. “Just the opposite. There were no other guys before him.”

He’s silent, looking at me like he’s waiting for me to laugh. When I don’t, he says, “Seriously? Only him?”

“Well, now it’s only him and you. Oh God, I hope that doesn’t freak you out. I don’t know why I said it.”

“No, no. It’s sort of an honor, in a way. That probably sounds stupid.”

I smile. “It doesn’t.” He smiles back. “So yeah, I was running away from being alone. I always felt different from the other girls. I used to be heavier, and I had no self-esteem. I thought losing weight would make me feel better about myself. All it did was make me look different. I still hated the person I was inside, so there were still no guys around. I didn’t exactly try to attract them, you know? Then, along came Tommy.”

“Shithead.”

“Yes. He liked me. He paid attention to me. It was totally new, and at first, really, he seemed like a nice guy.” It’s my turn to look at Jax the way he just looked at me: hard, like I need him to believe what I’m telling him. “He was. He treated me well. Just long enough for me to fall in love with him. Otherwise, I’m sure I wouldn’t have gotten together with him. I mean, what sort of person does that? Gets involved right off the bat with somebody who hurts them?”

“It happens. It does. But you’re smarter than that, I think.”

“Thank you. So yeah, I say all this to tell you I believe you. I understand what you’re saying. We all make poor decisions when we’re running away. Both of us were running away from being alone. We just took different ways out of it.”

He reaches across the board, taking my hand. “Thank you for that.” Then his arm sweeps across the board, knocking over all my hotels. “Oh, damn. I messed up the game. Shit.”

I burst out laughing. “Jackass! I was this close to winning! Sore loser.”

“I’m not a sore loser if I didn’t actually lose. I could have won. I could have turned it around.”

“Right.” I roll my eyes, unable to keep from laughing again. My eyes happen to land on the window. I’m shocked to see how dark it’s already getting.

“Shit! I can’t believe how late it got. Time flies when you’re getting your ass beat, doesn’t it?”

“Careful, or I’ll take you upstairs and beat your ass for real.”

I blush, wishing he’d throw me over his shoulder and take me upstairs right now. That energy is back, the electricity between us. It shows up so quickly, out of nowhere. One minute we’re joking, the next I want him to fuck me until I scream.

We shouldn’t. Not again. I’ll stay here for the rest of my life if one of us doesn’t break the cycle.

“I guess I should get going.” My heart is heavy. I hate myself for feeling this way. Why can’t I walk away with no strings attached? I don’t know that he shares my feelings, that this meant anything to him. Could be he’s just being nice. I’m sure it doesn’t hurt we’ve been sleeping together.

“Oh.” Is he disappointed? Relieved? Does it matter? I don’t want it to matter.

“Is that okay? I don’t want to keep imposing on you. You’ve done much more than enough.”

“Please, go ahead. You have your own life.” He watches as I get to my feet, stretching after spending so long on the floor. “Where are you going, anyway? To your parents’?”

Crap. I hadn’t thought about that. It seems like a waste now. I was just going to drive home in two days anyway. By the time I got there tonight, it would be bedtime.

“I don’t think so. It’s sort of a long drive. I should go back to my house. Maybe I’ll stop by the shop, make sure it’s been shoveled out. I probably have to shovel my sidewalk.”

“I hope one of your neighbors had a heart and did it for you.”

“Uh, between you and me, I hope the same thing.” I laugh. It sounds hollow even to me.

“If you need any help, you know you can call me, right?” He moves closer to me, making my heart beat faster as he always does. Where does that power come from?

“I appreciate it. I might take you up on it, too, if I have two feet of snow and no parking spot. I might even end up coming back here.”

“I wouldn’t mind if you did.”

Oh
. My heart is pounding like an express train. My mouth is dry. He couldn’t be clearer if he said the actual words,
Christina, I like you and want to be with you
. So why won’t he say the actual words already? Maybe he could end my agony by giving me an answer to my questions.

But I don’t have the guts to make the first move, that’s for sure.

“So, um, do you wanna give me your number? And I’ll give you mine, in case you need to call me?”

“Yes, for sure.” I put my number in his phone and he does the same in mine. This is so awkward I can hardly stand it. We’re suddenly like two teenagers after their first date.

“Okay. So, I guess I’ll go now.” I look up at him, unsure what to do now. Should we hug? Shake hands? Wave?

I’m so relieved when he holds his arms out. I walk into them, close my eyes when they circle around me. It feels so good. It shouldn’t feel this good, but it does. I wish I knew how he feels.

“Thank you for staying here with me.”

I have to laugh. “You’re thanking me? Thank you for letting me stay. It’s been a real experience.” I smile, hoping he can somehow see through my words to what’s in my heart.

Instead of replying with words, he kisses me gently.