I did as I was ordered to do. Ray sat there with a mean mug on his face and a busted lip that was gushing blood. It was my pleasure to see him like this.
Within minutes, the men were in and out. Ray was on his feet, pacing the floor, yelling and screaming and acting a complete fool. The only person he could blame for this was me.
“As soon as I get back here tonight, I'ma beat yo' muthafuckin' ass for showin' them where my stash was! I can't believe this shit happened! How dare these niggas run up in here and take my shit from me!”
Ray was almost black as tar, but I swear his ass was turning red. Honey stayed silent and remained in a chair, as if he didn't know what the fuck was going on. I stood close by the door, trying my best to explain to Ray why I had revealed his stash. I already assumed that he'd be kicking my ass tonight, but I told myself that if everything went as planned, this would be the last time he'd ever put his hands on me again.
“What else was I supposed to do?” I fake cried and pounded my leg with my fist. “Do you not care about your only son? Did you want your daughters to be without a mother and a father? I just couldn't do that, Ray. I'm sorry, but I just couldn't do it!”
Ray walked up to me and punched me hard in my stomach. I doubled over and almost vomited from his blow being so hard. I coughed and held my aching stomach.
“Fuck you and those kids. I want my goddamn money back, and you best believe that somebody gon' have to answer for this shit. Maybe, that'll be you. Now, move out of my goddamn way so I can get the fuck out of here.”
Ray stormed past me, grabbed his jacket, and left. From the inside, Honey and I could hear the screeching sound of Ray's tires as he sped off.
“Damn,” Honey said in a soft, sad voice. “He was really gon' let them kill me. I'm glad they were really my uncles.”
I hated to be the bearer of bad news, but Honey needed to know the truth about Ray. Bottom line, he wasn't shit.
“There is no loyalty whatsoever with him, Honey. I hope you know that by now. I don't know what that does to your relationship with him, but as long as you know who you're dealing with, you should be fine.”
Honey smiled a little and wrapped his arms around my waist. I held him tight, knowing that he would be my right-hand li'l man for years and years to come.
Chapter Five
Later that night, and as expected, Ray came in drunk as hell and ready to fight. He beat my ass, but since I'd learned to fight his ass back, we made one big mess in the bedroom and caused a lot of ruckus. Gaping holes were in the wall, the window was broken, mirrors had been cracked, and shit was scattered everywhere. By morning, we sat across the kitchen table from each other, slowly chewing our food and staring without a blink. One of Ray's eyes was black and blue; so was mine. Bruises could be seen a mile away on both of us, but I was the only one with patches of my hair missing.
“You know what?” Ray said in a snobby tone. “I'm sick of yo' ass. Yo' pussy ain't about nothin' no more, and I ain't had no desire for it in a long, long time. I'm tired of payin' for somethin' that I don't really want, so why don't you get yo' ass up out of here and take those damn kids with you.”
His words were like music to my ears. And while I was on my way up out of this motherfucking apartment anyway, Ray made this easy for me. I pretended as if I still needed him. That way, he wouldn't suspect that I had anything to do with the robbery last night.
“Ray, stop this, okay? We . . . Where are me and the girls supposed to go? You know that I can't make it without you. I . . . I'll do my best to make things right, and I swear that I won't ever backtalk you again or fight back.”
He slammed his hand on the table, shaking it. “Bitch, didn't you hear what the fuck I said? I ain't got time to listen to that bullshit story you tryin' to sell me. And as for those crocodile tears, you should've thought about that shit when you told them muthafuckas where my stash was at. And by the way, how in the hell did you know where it was anyway? I ain't ever told you, so how did you know? That nigga Honey told you, didn't he?”
I had to make this good, so I allowed a flood of tears to come out. I begged Ray not to release me from his life. “No, baby, no. Honey didn't tell me anything. He would never betray you like that. The only reason I knew was because I saw you go into the room a few times and move the shelf aside. For God's sake, Ray, rethink this and stop treating me like this. You gotta think about what would've happened if I didn't show them where the money was. We'd all be dead right now. I did what I thought was best, and to hell with that money.”
Mentioning the money was a good way to get his blood boiling. He sucked in his bottom lip and bit into it. It was obvious that Ray loved his money more than anything else.
“I hate a beggin' bitch. And if you ever think I would choose my money over you, you got me fucked up.” He shifted his eyes to the clock on the wall. “It's almost ten o'clock. You got until noon to get those few rags you got and get the fuck out of here.”
I dropped to my knees and crawled over to him. “Please, Ray!” I begged. “Where am I gon' go? Don't do this to me, especially after all that I've done for you!”
I was damn good at pretending, and my performance was on point. Tears poured down my face, and I held on to Ray's leg as he got up from the table to walk away. He lifted his other foot and kicked my shoulder.
“Back the fuck up! You down there lookin' like a fuckin' stupid-ass dog. Get up and move it! Now, bitch, now!”
Okay, enough was enough. I sat on the floor, sobbing. Ray was clearly irritated by my actions and he couldn't take much more. He hurried to put on his clothes and got the hell out of there. Afterward, I got off the floor and smiled. I lit a cigarette and whistled smoke into the air, thinking about where I, my beautiful daughters, and handsome son would go from here.
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Later that day, I waited at a nearby hotel with Honey. The girls were still at the apartment, so I had to hurry back to get them. Ray wanted us out, so therefore, I didn't have much time to waste.
We waited for Honey's uncles to arrive, and within the hour they came. They came in ready to negotiate with me, and I was so surprised when one of them asked for 70 percent of Ray's goods.
“Seventy percent?” I shouted while sitting on the couch with my legs crossed. “I don't think so. That's too damn much.”
“Take it or leave it,” one of the uncles said. “We did most of the work anyway.”
“He's right,” another said. It was apparent that they'd discussed this shit in the car. Their intentions were to get all that they could from the deal. “All y'all did was pretend to play scared and show us where to go.”
Beforehand, none of us knew how much money was in Ray's secret room. Now that Honey's uncles were the only ones who knew, I suspected that they wouldn't be honest about the numbers, and fuck me. So in a sense, I was getting double fucked right now.
I stood and looked at the one who claimed that all we did was pretend and show him where the money was. “Pretend?” I said near tears. “Nigga, you were the one pretending, not me.” I snatched off my shirt, causing the buttons to pop off and hit the floor. I displayed the numerous bruises on my chest, and pointed to a small stab mark that was visible on my side. “Does this shit look like I've been pretending? I've been getting my ass beat for almost ten fucking years! I have endured more goddamn pain and suffering than anybody you may ever know. What that nigga Ray did to me is worth every fucking penny that you all got out of that room and then some. So don't come up in here with no bullshit! Wrong bitch, wrong time!”
“I hear you, Miss Lady, but . . .”
I used my shirt to wipe the caked-on makeup from my face. Then I removed my jeans and stood in my panties, just so they could see the numerous bruises on my legs, where I'd been kicked over and over again. I had to be clear about this shit, and make them understand that I was having none of this shit.
“So, let's get back to this lack of work that I've done. I've been fucked in my ass and raped repeatedly, by a nigga who once told me he loved me. There have been times when my whole goddamn body has been covered with these bruises from head to toe, and if you look in my mouth, you will definitely find several missing teeth. My muthafucking daughters have been neglected and subjected to all of this bullshit, so please do not come up in here trying to fuck me, no more than I have already been fucked! Honey told y'all niggas that y'all were entitled to thirty percent of whatever was found. Seventy percent ain't happening, and neither is sixty, fifty, or forty. Thirty percent is what was offered and y'all are the ones who have to take that shit or leave it.”
They all looked at each other and sat silent for a few minutes. One of the uncles finally spoke up. “I get what you're saying, and I'm sorry that you went through all that shit, but with it being three of us, we can't take no less than forty percent.”
I got straight to the point and wasn't budging. “Thirty percent averages out to ten percent each. Figure out a way to make it work.” Niggas were always trying to get over. Not this time, hell no.
“Fine,” one uncle said. “Thirty it is. I don't know how we're going to break all this dope down seventy/thirty, but I'm sure we'll figure out a way to do it. As for the money, there was roughly $1.6 million in that room. We'll make sure that you get yo' cut by tonight.”
I looked at Honey who was shaking his head. “Naw, Uncle James, that ain't true,” he said. “I used that machine and counted that money almost every single day. I know exactly how much was in there. It was $2,000,435. The change he had was shy fifteen cents of five thousand dollars. Y'all took the change too, didn't y'all?”
All I could do was smile. Honey had a bright-ass future ahead of him, and I'm sure he already knew it. All his uncles could do was sit there, look at each other, and contemplate a plan B.
“Let's settle this,” I said. “If not, I'm gon' walk out that door right now and go tell Ray what actually happened to his money. All that's going to get me is another severe ass kicking. Something that I've gotten used to over time, so I'm pretty much numb to the shit right now. As for you niggas, well, I can't really say. But I will say that if the news about this hits the streets, it's not gon' look good for y'all. There are hating, backstabbing muthafuckas everywhere, and y'all will be forever watching y'all backs.”
“Come on, Uncle Larry,” Honey pleaded. “I thought we had a deal. If so, let's shake on it.”
Honey held out his hand. And even though his uncles were reluctant to do it, they all shook his hand.
“Done deal,” one said. “And yo' ass need to stop this hustling and get back in school. You ain't got no business getting involved in this kind of mess.”
“What you talkin' about?” Honey said, bragging. “I do go to school. I'm an A plus student, and needless to say, I'm real good at math.”
They all laughed and agreed to have the funds and dope to me later that evening. I plopped back on the couch, still in my panties. I swiped the sweat from my forehead, slowly but surely appreciating the no-nonsense bitch I was becoming.
Chapter Six
Needless to say, I was Ray McWilliams free! I mean, for whatever reason, he decided that he wanted to keep in touch with the girls from time to time. But whenever he visited with them, I was right there watching him. His relationship with Honey was just okay. Honey never forgot how Ray had chosen money over him, and it left a bad taste in his mouth. He was down with the person who remained loyal to him and that was me. Talk about being my nigga, Honey was it. I had mad love for him, but what we decided to do was keep our business endeavors a secret. No one ever found out that we were behind what had happened to Ray. He never recovered from losing that much money, nor did he know that his son and I had been secretly building an empire that was much bigger than the one he'd had. Day by day, we built that shit together. We worked hard, and Honey let these niggas out there know that he ran a no-nonsense business. I was behind the scenes. Nobody knew what I'd been up to, not even my daughters who were now grown and much wiser than I was in my late twenties.
Thankfully, Karrine and Simone didn't remember a lot about what had happened in that apartment. They knew Ray as he was today. To me, he was still a conniving fool. I despised him with a passion, and when Chyna came forth one day and told me what he'd done to her, I could've died. I was so upset with her for not telling me that he used to come into the room the girls slept in, in the middle of the night, and have his way with her. He'd wait until I went to sleep then go do his dirt. The thing is, I always knew, deep in my heart, that he had been messing with my baby. And now that it was confirmed, there was no way possible for me to let that nigga live. The first person I broke the news to was Honey. I was staring out of the window with my arms folded.
“I know he's your father, but that nigga walking around here like he's such the perfect damn daddy and he ain't shit. I'm glad that Chyna finally told me what was up, and I honestly do not want him to take another breath on this earth.”
Honey stood back on his bowlegs with his hands in his pockets. He then wiped down his sexy, chiseled face and stroked the hair on his chin. He was such a handsome young man, and at thirty years old, he had all of the chicks in the neighborhood throwing their pussies at him. He cocked his neck from side to side and cracked his knuckles.
“I'm not sure what to say,” Honey said. “There are times when I still hang tight with the old man, but I don't like what he did to Chyna. That shit ain't cool at all.”
“You're damn right it's not. And there ain't no way in hell for me to sit back and pretend that Chyna didn't confirm this. I've sat back long enough for years. Now, it's time for me to do something.”
Honey stood for a while, thinking. He then walked to the door and touched the knob. “Look, do whatever you wish. Just know that this one won't be on me. I don't want to be included in the plans, nor do I want to know when or where the shit will take place.”
“I wouldn't ask you to take care of this for me, but what I would like to know is if you're okay with me doing it? I don't want you to hold any grudges against me or be upset behind my actions. All I want you to do is understand why I have to do this. Chyna is my child, Honey, and I feel as though I failed her. This is how I must make this right. Please support me on this and allow me to make some kind of peace with it.”
Honey released a deep sigh and stood for a few more minutes. He turned around then nodded. “Like I said, roll with it and do what you must. You have my full support. Don't you ever think that I don't understand what you and them girls went through. I witnessed some of it. Remember?”
I smiled because that's all the confirmation I needed. Honey walked out the door, and the following week, Ray was shot dead in his home. Shot in the face, five motherfucking times. No one knew who had done it. I figured that everyone would point their fingers at me, but I was at home cooking dinner for my lovely daughters. They could vouch for me, and I could vouch for them, especially Chyna who handled her business in a major way. I was very proud of her for ridding us of our number one enemy. And when I say that this shit felt good, I mean it. Ray's death felt good.
On the day of his funeral, I didn't shed one tear. I leaned over his casket, and while many people thought I had given him a kiss, what I did was gather a gob of spit in my mouth and spat it in his face. I then sat on a pew, thinking about all that nigga had done to me. He almost destroyed me, but the truth is, people don't change into who they are destined to be overnight. Experience is the best teacher, and whatever those experiences are, they mold and shape us “as is.”
Now, I was proud to be Taffy Douglas. I didn't give two fucks about what people thought of me, not after what I'd been through, hell no. It might have taken awhile for me to break the grip that nigga had on me, but his grip was now gone. I couldn't be mad at the vital lessons our fucked-up relationship had taught me; after all, it enabled me to assist in preparing a smoother life for my girls. They'd have to go through some of the bullshit out here too, but I endured years of pain with a no-good nigga so they wouldn't have to. I was able to share, in great detail, what that shit felt like. I broke down the rules for them, just so they wouldn't make the same mistakes. Somebody once said, “When you know better, you do better.” And if you don't know, yo' ass better learn fast. I hipped my girls to the game. Showed them how to make money from grimy, horny, weak niggas who would give up their life savings, just to gaze at a piece of ass or watch a woman play with her pussy. The fools couldn't even touch them, but as long as the pussy looked good and asses clapped loudly, niggas were willing to pay.
There was no secret that I had developed disdain in my heart for fathers who didn't take care of their kids, for cowards who lied to women and disrespected them, and for fools who paid money to watch ass. At the end of the day, their money was good, and it helped us stay on top for quite some time. But being on top in the drug game, and being without Ray, wasn't the end of my story. Actually, it was just the beginning . . .