Mogul (20 page)

“What can I say? He’s not just an asshole.
He’s a fucking carrier.” He stood and rounded the desk, where
Maggie had risen to meet him eye to eye.

“Then let him go,” she said
softly. “Let them
both
go.”

He sighed again as he looked into her earnest
face. “If only it were that simple,” he said softly as he stepped
around her and headed out the door.

He didn’t stop until he reached Andy’s
office. She was going over something with Kelly on the computer, so
he cleared his throat to get their attention.

“Hi, Graham,” Andy greeted. “Did you need
something?”

“Yeah,” he answered. “I needed to talk to
you. Privately,” he added with a quick glance to her assistant.

Kelly looked down at Andy, who remained
seated at her desk. Andy paused only for a moment before she nodded
her head. Kelly grabbed some folders from her adjoining desk, and
then left them alone. Graham shut the door.

Andy didn’t like the look on his face. She
knew him well enough to know that he was upset. “Is there a
problem?”

“Yeah,” he said again, this time as he sat
down at Kelly’s station. “There is.”

Now she was alarmed. “What?”

He looked at her directly in the eye. “I want
to know if there is even the slightest chance the baby you carry is
mine.”

She sucked in a deep breath. She hadn’t
expected him to broach this topic, especially since she had made it
clear when she was due. But it was clear that he had been tortured
with the idea their lovemaking could have produced a baby she’d be
passing off as Vanni’s.

There were tears in her eyes as she shook her
head. “No, Graham. I got pregnant in New York. On my birthday.
Before…” she trailed off, unable to speak the words.

Graham gulped hard. “Are you sure?”

She nodded. “I’ve had two ultrasounds,
Graham. Both confirmed gestational age. It was weeks before… before
Thanksgiving.”

“I see,” he said softly.

“I’m sorry,” she said, more for his anguish
than anything else.

He shook his head. “No, I’m the one that
should apologize. To think you would ever be the kind of woman who
would lie about something like that.”

She reached for his hand. “To be honest, I
almost did,” she said. His eyes met hers. “It would have been
easier. At the time I thought Holly was pregnant with Vanni’s baby
and this pregnancy would complicate so much. It would have been
simpler if I had been pregnant with your child. I knew you would
love and take care of it… and of me.”

A tear formed in the corner of his eye as he
listened. He grabbed her hand, warmed by her touch. He could have
given her whatever future she wanted. The only problem was she
wanted a future without him.

“It just wouldn’t have been fair to Vanni.
Any fairer than telling him he was that dad if you had been. I
couldn’t do that. I wouldn’t do that.”

“Andy,” he said softly.

“Besides, it’s just better this way. A part
of me will always belong to him, right or wrong. This way I don’t
have to hurt you any more than I already have.”

“You’ve been worth it all,” he whispered. “I
still love you, Andy. And if you ever change your mind, I’ll be
there for you. And your child.”

She smiled. “I know. And I love you too much
to ever ask you to be.” She brought his hands to her lips and
kissed his fingers. It was her way of setting him free, which was
the last thing he wanted.

“Andy,” he said softly. “Does Vanni know
about us?”

Her eyes met his. “No,” she finally answered.
“He never asked and I never offered. Just seemed best to leave it
in the past.”

“Funny how his past keeps coming back to bite
you in the ass, isn’t it?”

She sighed. “Graham…”

“Tell me it isn’t true. Tell me it doesn’t
tear at your soul every time he runs off to play house with
Holly.”

She gulped. “He’s doing what he thinks is
right for the baby.”

Graham grabbed her hands in his. “Think about
what you’re saying, Andy. You’re marrying a man who got another
woman pregnant within months of getting you pregnant. Is this
honestly the man you want to entrust with your life? With your
child?”

Andy pulled her hands free. His words cut her
deep. So she used a few harsh words of her own. “The only reason he
was with Holly at all was because I left him to be with you.”

Graham was aghast. “Are you saying that this
is my fault?”

She shook her head. “No, of course not. It’s
nobody’s fault. That’s what I am trying to tell you. Everything was
fucked up for a long time.”

“It’s still fucked up,” he told her. “And you
know how I know? Because you can’t tell him the truth about us. You
know that if he knew we’d been lovers he’d be out the door. You’re
still selling your soul to be with this man.”

A tear raced down her cheek. “We do crazy
things for love,” she said. “We hurt other people… we make
mistakes…we try to manipulate fate. I’m not blameless, Graham.
Maybe if you could finally be angry with me, you could move
on.”

“You want me to be angry with you?” he
demanded. “Fine.” He stood to his feet. “Tell your fiancé he can
put Julian back in the band if he wants… but under his own goddamn
label. I’m through. With all of you.”

He left her in stunned silence.

He didn’t even tell Maggie he was leaving.
She didn’t need him for a ride and he really wanted to be alone. He
was so frustrated he couldn’t see straight. Andy wanted him to be
mad at her? Fine. He’d be mad. He’d be furious. She’d played with
his heart for years, only to go chasing after that egomaniac
whenever he had an itch to scratch. But Vanni would always move on
to greener pastures, and then she’d be clawing back at his door,
only this time with a baby in tow.

She wanted to call herself his friend… she
wanted to sell this idea that she cared about him deep down. That
she loved him, even if she wasn’t in love with him. She could slip
into his bed, take him into her body, seal every physical promise
between a man and a woman and ultimately it didn’t mean a fucking
thing to her.

Again he was reminded that she was his Vanni.
She was the one he’d chase after, the one that he’d always make
excuses for and the one he’d never fully be able to let go. He
would always love more than he loved. She would always be just out
of his reach, even when she was right in his arms.

When had he lost his balls? When he had he
given up his spine?

He was livid by the time he pulled into the
drive. He stomped into the house, stopping only at the bar. He
didn’t even bother with a glass as he took a whole decanter of
scotch and headed for the guest bedroom she had called home.

He stayed in there until the sun went down,
drinking straight booze as he lay on the bed. He thought back to
the very first moment he brought her there, and what great hopes
he’d had to begin something amazing with her. She had no idea how
much he would have turned the world upside down to please her. She
had been unimpressed by it all. He wasn’t a long-haired rocker with
more swagger than substance. He was just a man who paid his bills,
built his business, and truly loved and respected his women.

That was clearly not what she wanted. She
wasn’t set aflame by his touch. Every time he held her close she
was thinking of someone else.

He remembered walking in on Vanni and Andy in
this very room. He saw her respond to Vanni in a way he could only
fantasize about. He watched their mouths swallow demanding kisses,
their hands gripping at each other as if they would have died if
either had let the other go.

She’d never felt that way about him.

No woman had ever felt that way about
him.

Had that been the driving force behind his
pursuit?

He poured more alcohol on the hurt. He
swallowed every painful thought, every cursed memory. He was
frustrated, angry and intoxicated when Maggie found him hiding in
the dark, oblivious to the world around him.

She entered the room soundlessly, and took
the crystal decanter from his hands before he spilled what was left
on the bedspread. It was still the same pattern as the first time
he’d brought Andy to stay, when he was trying to make her feel
comfortable to stay in his home without any demands.

“No pressure,” he had said.

Maybe he should have pressured her. Maybe he
shouldn’t have been such a damn gentleman. Maybe she really did
want the caveman who took what he wanted whenever he wanted it. He
practically growled at Maggie when she turned on the light.

“Oh, Graham,” she said softly. “What are you
doing to yourself?”

“She wanted me angry with her,” he slurred.
“So I’m angry.”

“Good,” Maggie said. “Long overdue.”

“You know what else is long overdue?” he
asked. Before she could shake her head he grabbed her by the hand
and pulled her down onto the bed. His hand snaked behind her neck
as he pulled her close for an angry, deep, and probing kiss that
tasted of scotch. Her hands that reached up to push him away
stalled at the muscled wall of his chest, which felt like heaven
under her touch. He was so solid… so real… so much better than the
Graham of her fantasies. He met this submission with more demands.
His hand grasped a handful of her fiery red hair, and she didn’t
fight him as he pushed her back down on the bed and covered her
body with his own. His weight was delicious as it pinned her down.
His hands were everywhere as his tongue pushed between her
lips.

Color and light exploded in her brain as he
took possession of her mouth. She felt his unmistakable desire, and
just for a moment she gave into it. It had been so long since she
had been held… since she had been wanted. It was as though she was
a virgin – his virgin. Her hungry response to his kiss was enough
to spur him on as he groaned deep in her mouth. His fingers slid up
her shirt across her bare skin, then slid into her bra. His fingers
circled the pert nipple, which made her gasp.

The more he touched her, the more she craved.
She had wanted him for so long… long, lonely months as she watched
him pine for someone else. It had been torture, but now he was in
her arms and he was kissing her, touching her… and just a few
garments away from making love to her.

She ached for it within every inch of her
body. His body was hard under her hands, which explored him as
liberally as he explored her. “Graham,” she whispered.

“Say it again,” he demanded against her lips.
“Tell me you want me,” he pleaded. “Tell me you want only me.”

“I want you,” she finally whispered aloud.
“Only you,” she added as she nuzzled his neck. “Only you,” she kept
repeating.

“Oh, God,” he groaned against her as his hand
disappeared between them to unzip her jeans. She helped kick them
free before she turned back into his embrace. His hand cupped her
breast possessively as his knee parted her legs. “Oh, Andy…”

The word hit her like a splash of cold water,
and Maggie turned to ice in his arms. She wriggled away and hopped
off the bed, trying to catch her breath. She didn’t look back at
him, and he was too drunk and too far gone to even recognize his
blunder. “What’s wrong? Where are you going?”

“I’m sorry, Graham. I can’t,” she said as she
stooped for her clothes and bolted from the room. She didn’t stop
running until she was safely behind her own bedroom door. He never
came to find her, and when she emerged from the bedroom sometime
around midnight, she found Graham sprawled across the guest bed.
With a sigh she turned on the light and entered the room. From the
looks of it he passed out right after their encounter. He likely
wouldn’t remember any of it.

Lucky
bastard
, she thought to herself. She could
think of nothing else. For one brief moment she had everything
she’d wanted. And in a split second, Andy Foster’s ghost had stolen
it all away.

Again.

It strengthened Maggie’s resolve. She’d spent
far too much time watching him chase after rainbows he could never
catch, turning him from a powerful man into a desperate, frustrated
mess. She wasn’t about to do the same.

She was his nurse. He was her boss.

That was all it could ever be.

She turned off the light and left him to his
tortured dreams.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Los Angeles, California

April 5, 2011

The night after Graham’s little bombshell in
Andy’s office wasn’t a good night for Andy and Vanni either, who
had a huge fight regarding his plans to incorporate Julian back
into the band without discussing it with her first. She raged, he
apologized, but in the end Vanni was unmovable in his resolve to
keep Julian gainfully employed. He tried to convince her it would
help Holly feel more secure and less threatened by their
relationship. And, he tried to reason, having them close meant they
wouldn’t be in for any more nasty surprises.

Andy was no more convinced than Graham, but
in the end Vanni told her he wasn’t asking for her permission –
only her blessing. It was going to happen; he just hoped they could
one day be on the same page about it.

Graham had made it plain she couldn’t go cry
on his shoulder, and the time differences kept the wisdom of all
her other friends at bay. Instead she muscled through the tense
night, where she kept up every wall against him she could.

Inevitably he brought them down by morning,
when his masterful hands on her sleeping body roused her to
consciousness, and convinced her once again that he was her man
alone. “Only you wear my ring, baby,” he crooned in her ear.
“You’re my bride, my heart… my life.”

She couldn’t deny him even if she wanted to.
He knew how to infiltrate her walls and penetrate her fortresses.
He talked about their wedding, about their daughter, about their
future. He spent the weekend pampering her, taking her out on the
town and showing her off on his arm in ways he had never done
before.