Missing Without A Trace (19 page)

TEXAS

Texas Department of Public Safety, Special Crimes Services, Missing
Persons Clearinghouse
Austin, TX
512-424-5074 | Toll Free: 1-800-346-3243 (in-state only)
[email protected]
www.txdps.state.tx.us/mpch

Heidi Search Center
San Antonio, TX
210-650-0428 | Toll Free: 1-800-547-4435
[email protected]
http://heidisearchcenter.com

UTAH

Utah Department of Public Safety, Bureau of Criminal Identification
Salt Lake City, UT
801-965-4686 | 801-965-4446 (after hours)
Toll Free: 888-770-6477 (nationwide)
[email protected]
http://bci.utah.gov/MPC/MPCHome.html

VERMONT

Vermont State Police
Waterbury, VT
802-241-5352
www.dps.state.vt.us/vtsp/index_main.html

VIRGINIA

Virginia State Police Department, Missing Children’s Clearinghouses
Richmond, VA
804-674-2000 | 804-674-2026 (24/7 Emergencies only)
Toll Free: 1-800-822-4453
[email protected]
www.vsp.state.va.us/cjis_missing_children.htm

WASHINGTON

Washington State Patrol, Missing Children Clearinghouse
Olympia, WA
Toll Free: 1-800-543-5678 (nationwide)
[email protected]
www.wsp.wa.gov/crime/mcservic.htm

Families and Friends of Missing Persons and Violent Crime Victims
800-346-7555
[email protected]

Operation Lookout: National Center for Missing Youth
Everett, WA
425-771-7335
Toll Free: 800-5688 (LOOKOUT)
Toll Free: 800-782-7335 (SEEK)
[email protected]
www.operationlookout.org

WEST VIRGINIA

West Virginia State Police, Missing Children Clearinghouse
South Charleston, WV
304-558-1467 | Toll Free: 800-352-0927 (nationwide)
[email protected]
www.wvstatepolice.com/children/children.shtml

WISCONSIN

Wisconsin Department of Justice, Division of Criminal Investigation
Madison, WI
608-266-1671 | Toll Free: 1-800-THE-HOPE (in-state only)
[email protected]
www.doj.state.wi.us

Youth Educated in Safety, Inc
.
PO Box 3124
Appleton, WI 54914
920-734-5335 | Toll Free: 1-800-272-7715
[email protected]
www.yeswi.org

A Missing Child is Everyone’s Responsibility, Operation L.A.P.
Foundation, Inc
.
Fort Atkinson, WI
Milwaukee: 414-208-8954
Fort Atkinson/Jefferson: 920-674-6960

Wisconsin Center for Missing Children & Adults (WCMCA)
Jefferson, WI
Toll Free: 877-70-5456
24 Hour Crisis: 920-220-1558
[email protected]
www.wcmckids.org

WYOMING

Wyoming Office of the Attorney General, Division of Criminal
Investigation
Cheyenne, WY
307-777-7537 | Control Terminal: 307-777-7545
[email protected]
www.attorneygeneral.state.wy.us/dci/index.html

Christian Lamb Foundation
Powell, WY
307-754-9261 | 800-651-5262
[email protected]
www.clamb.org

As Time Goes By

You might want to create a web page for your missing person, linking this to other missing person’s pages and, perhaps, organizations for missing persons. Many of the organizations listed in this chapter are good resources for such pages and you can update this information with current Internet searches.

If the local police are out of leads and your loved one remains missing, you will need to manage more of the search yourself. But, after your loved one has been missing for thirty days, the police are
legally obligated
to enter your loved one’s DNA and dental information into the NCIC database, so you will need to provide this information. You might also need check with the police to make sure that they are following through. Similarly, every year, the police are required to update the file so you might want to renew contact with the police department to make sure that they are doing so.

These systems initiate investigations with coroners and medical examiners to make comparisons with unidentified persons—those who have died and whose bodies have not been identified. For example, the National Missing and Unidentified Persons System automatically performs cross-matching comparisons between databases, searching for matches or similarities between unidentified persons and those who have been reported as missing. Anyone can search this database, which uses characteristics such as sex, race and distinct body features as well as dental records, DNA testing, anthropology, and odontology assistance.

Many organizations can help you continue to follow up. We suggest you contact the organizations listed in this chapter to help you further your search. Private investigators are another option and many are starting to specialize in missing person tracking. Regardless of the age of your missing person, do not hesitate to contact NCMEC for referrals and strategy.

Coping

Sometimes, months, years or even decades go by without word from a missing loved one. This is a brutal time to endure. You will run the gamut of emotions, from sadness and hurt to anger and depression—and everything in between. You may lose your appetite and lose weight. You may have trouble sleeping, be unable to concentrate and even be plagued by violent thoughts of hurting yourself or others. Not uncommonly, family members and close friends of missing persons fall into deep depressions, lose their jobs, neglect other loved ones, and undergo unusual behavior changes. So, although it will be very difficult, you will need to take care of yourself so you can stay strong. To this end, you will need to get help in dealing with your emotions.

A variety of doctors, therapists and other resources can help you cope with the loss of a missing loved one. Family, friends and clergy, in addition to medical professionals, have great listening ears and it is a good step in the right direction to talk to others about your emotions and about your missing loved one. What’s more, such consultants can point you to additional help, organizations or professionals whom you might need.

Support groups are also an important resource as they help you connect with organizations full of people in your position. Some members of support groups have positive stories of how their loved one returned home, while others are still on the hunt for theirs. Either way, members of support groups have been where you are. They know what you are experiencing. They can also give you ideas and leads to help you get the word out about your missing loved one and, together, you can help each other to do everything possible to bring your loved one home.

In addition to mental health professionals and emotional support, medical doctors should be included in your self-care effort. Especially if you have a loss of appetite and sleep, it is important that you check in with
your doctor. Stress and anxiety about the safe return of your loved one can bring you down and result in further ailments.

No matter what your circumstances, remember: You are not alone. The following organizations can help to connect you with other people in your area who are struggling with similar issues. They can also direct you to local resources and help you find professionals who can help you.

National Support Resources

Association of Missing and Exploited Children’s Organization (AMECO)
703-838-8379 | Toll Free: 877-263-2620
www.amecoinc.org
[email protected]
An organization of member organizations that provides prevention programs and educational materials
.

Community United Effort (CUE) Center For Missing Persons
910-343-1131 / 910-232-1687
www.ncmissingpersons.org
Support services include individual/group grief counseling and assistance to meet family’s personal needs
.

Let’s Bring Them Home
National Center for Missing Adults Support Group
Bentonville, AR
Corporate Headquarters: 479-871-1059
www.theyaremissed.org/ncma

National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC)
www.missingkids.com
Assists victims of abduction/exploitation and helps their families and caregivers
.

One Missing Link (OML)
Springfield, MO
800-555-7037 or 417-886-5836
www.onemissinglink.org
Facilitates networking between agencies and assists families with counseling, emotional support
.

Operation Lookout: National Center for Missing Youth
Hotline: 1-800-LOOKOUT (800-566-5688)
www.operationlookout.org
[email protected]
Search assistance and family/victim support services
.

Project Jason
Phone: 402-932-0095
www.projectjason.org
[email protected]
Case assessment, resources, and support for families of the missing
.

Trinity Search and Recovery
925-918-3669
www.trinitysearch.org
[email protected]

The website for the organization Let’s Bring Them Home/The National Center for Missing Adults provides helpful ideas for ways families can deal with the trauma of having a loved one disappear. The organization suggests that people can work on continuing to feel close to their missing loved one. To this end, the website provides a list of fifty suggestions for ways you can continue your relationship with your missing loved one.
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1. Say your loved one’s name out loud and don’t be afraid to talk about him or her

2. Keep photos around

3. Write a letter

4. Turn your porch light on at night, until your missing loved one returns

5. Plan an event such as a candlelight vigil, memorial, or balloon release

6. Occasionally eat their favorite food

7. Imagine having a conversation with your missing loved one

8. Say prayers

9. Visit their favorite spot

10. Donate to your loved one’s favorite charity

11. Volunteer at your loved one’s favorite charity

12. Sometimes when a new building is being erected, you can personalize a brick with your loved one’s name

13. Share favorite memories with other family members, especially young children who may not remember the missing person well

14. Create a memory box with a photo, favorite cologne/perfume, piece of clothing, favorite book, and other things that remind you of your loved one

15. Occasionally look through the memory box you’ve created for your missing loved one

16. Plant flowers or a garden

17. Make a tile or tile wall with your loved one’s name and put it in your garden

18. At holidays, birthdays, or other special occasions, give a memento to other family members such as a hat, a shirt, watch, earrings, or a framed photo

19. Keep a diary or journal

20. Paint a picture of your loved one

21. Call other family members or friends of the loved one on their birthday, holidays, or annual date of disappearance

22. Send flowers to another family member on special days

23. Create a new tradition or ritual such as lighting candles every day, week, or month

24. Fly a kite with a special message to your loved one attached

25. Listen to your loved one’s favorite song or album

26. Plant a tree and put ribbons on it with family and friends’ names and special messages

27. Play your missing loved one’s favorite board or video game

28. Create a scrapbook with photos, ticket stubs, poems, letters, and other special items

29. Dedicate a park bench to your missing loved one

30. Make a special ornament or decoration for the holidays with your loved one’s name

31. Draw a picture of your loved one

32. Have a celebration for your loved one and invite friends and family to talk about their favorite moments with the missing person

33. Name a star after your missing loved one; they may be looking up at it too

34. Sing a song

35. Write a poem

36. Send balloons to another family member on special days

37. Wear a missing loved one’s shirt, hat, or other piece of clothing

38. At holidays and other special occasions, leave an empty chair for the person

39. Make a quilt using scraps of your missing loved one’s blankets or clothing

40. Display a special box on your missing loved one’s birthday, annual date of disappearance, and holidays and have family and friends fill it with notes.

41. Play your missing loved one’s favorite sport

42. Wear a pin with a photo of your missing loved one

43. Read your missing loved one’s favorite book or story

44. Continue your missing loved one’s favorite tradition

45. Have a calendar made with photos of your missing loved one

46. Follow a rainbow to see if your missing loved one is on the other side

47. Wear clothing with your loved one’s favorite color

48. Donate your loved one’s favorite book to a library

49. Create a website dedicated to your missing loved one

50. Release a balloon with a special message to your missing loved one

It can happen to anybody. You’re on the way home from work when your car goes off the road, hidden from other vehicles. You might be alone, trapped, even seriously injured. You will almost certainly be scared. And, worse, you could be stranded for hours or days before someone finds you. What do you do?

And what if you are abducted—grabbed by someone who throws you into the trunk of their car, or chains you to their steering column? What can you do? The best way to survive such an emergency is to be prepared for whatever might happen to you.