Missing Pieces of My Forever-Heart (12 page)

“I’m still not sure about this, Jame.  Are we rushing into it too fast?  Shouldn’t we give the online registries some time?”

“No, Cath.  And we are only going to talk with him and hear what he has to offer us.  We may not even like him and walk out.”

But we didn’t walk out.  Jack Masterson was credentialed, warm, understanding and honest.  He understood my trepidation and concerns.  He also understood Jame’s impatience and focus.  We told him everything, including Jame’s cancer, our history and gave him copies of the items in Michael’s box.

“With all the information available on the Internet now, it’s usually very easy to find someone unless they’ve changed their name. All the young adults are on the social networks so you’ll pay for the hours my assistant and I spend tracking your son on there.  I also will contact his high school, this local newspaper where the clippings came from and anything else I can dig up from his hometown.  I also may hire a Florida detective who might have access to that county’s adoption records.”

“But it was a sealed adoption, Jack,” I said.

“Cath, it’s not too hard getting information from someone who works there, sealed or not.”

“What do you mean? Bribe someone?”

Jame broke in. “Cath, let Jack do what he does best and hopefully we’ll have some information soon.”

“You’ll be signing a contract with me outlining all I’ve said here today.  Read it over very, very carefully. 
I do not guarantee a reunion
.  I most likely will find your son, but he may not want anything to do with this.  You need to be prepared for that.”

“What happens if you do find him?” I still found this unbelievable- that we might be close to finding Michael.

“
When
I find your son, the next step will be up to you.  I can send a certified letter sending him a message from me or from you.  I can call him.  It’s up to you.”

“We’ll talk about that at home, Jack.  Thank you very much and we look forward to working with you.  Email me the contract and I’ll drop it back off with a retainer.”  Jack shook hands with both Jame and me.  His grip was strong and reassuring.

“Things will work out for the best, Cath,” were Jack’s final words to me.

Jame and I sat home later that night sprawled out on opposite ends of the couch, feet intertwined, wrung out from the emotions of the past few days.  My steamroller looked wiped out.

“Hey, what are you thinking?” I nudged his foot. 

“I’m thinking it’s been a hell of a week.” He gave me a little smile.  “But we’re up to it, aren’t we, Cath?  You and me together? We’re invincible.”

“Oh yeah.  Look at us laying here like wet noodles.  Sure look invincible, don’t we?”

 Jame rolled off the couch and crawled over to me.  He covered my mouth with his and delivered one of his sweet, sweet kisses that made me want to disappear inside his heart.  “Let’s go to bed.  I’m wiped out and so are you.  I want to hold you so bad.”

He pulled me up off the couch, put his arms around me and I hooked mine around his waist.  As we wearily trudged up the stairs, he whispered in my ear, “Now all we have to do is face your girls tomorrow and tell them I’m living here.”

“Oh joy, another easy day.” I hugged him harder and my love swelled up so much my heart didn’t fit inside my body anymore.

Chapter 30

Erin and Kaitlin arrived in time for lunch on Saturday.  I had already hinted around to them in emails about how serious Jame and I were and that things were moving fast.  When I asked them to come home from college this weekend because I wanted to talk with them, they quickly made plans. I’m sure they called each other a hundred times trying to figure out exactly what we were going to talk to them about.

The girls gave us extra squeezy hugs and seemed a little taken aback by our serious faces.  We were not going to tell them about Michael yet, but Jame’s cancer and surgery next week was looming heavily over our heads.

“Mom. What’s the matter? Are you OK?” Erin got right to the point.  She was the one who suggested we wait to eat and talk first.  “Mom, you guys look like someone died.  You’re scaring me.”

“No, honey, no.  I’m so sorry.  We’re just tired out that’s all.  It’s been a busy week.”

“OK, you wanted us home to talk with us so talk already! The suspense is too much!” Kait cried out.

 Jame began, “Girls, you don’t know the whole story about your mother and me but cutting to the chase, I came looking for her because I have cancer and I wanted to try to make things right with her.”

“Oh Jame, cancer, how bad is it?” Erin asked with a tremble in her voice.

“I go in for surgery this Thursday and we’ll know more after that.  Hopefully it will be good news and we can put it behind us.  But I want you to know that I love your mother very, very much and I’ve never been happier.”

“Are you guys getting married?” Kait asked.

“No,” I said quickly.

“Maybe,” Jame answered just as fast.

I looked over at Jame stunned.  “We never discussed that.  It’s only been a short time.”

Erin clapped her hands. ”I knew it! Ha, Kait, I win the bet!”

“What bet?”  I was still reeling from Jame’s marriage hint. Too fast.  Too fast.

“I bet Kait that you were talking about getting married and that’s what you wanted to tell us.”

“No one wins any bet,” I interrupted.  “We haven’t talked about it.  There’s too much else going on.”

“Yeah, like I moved all my stuff in yesterday so I officially live here now with your mom, the love of my life.  Hope that’s all right with both of you.”

Erin and Kait jumped up and hugged both of us. Our mood lightened a little as we went into the kitchen for lunch and to fill them in on all the details of Jame’s cancer and surgery.

After the girl headed back to college, Jame and I started unpacking his boxes strewn all over the garage.

“Where will put all this stuff?”  I shook my head at the piles. There were books, an extra computer, more shoes (I mean how many pairs of shoes does a businessman need? A surprising Jame-discovery, he loves expensive shoes!), memorabilia, four basketballs, sneakers galore.

“It’s not that much.  It can stay out here in the garage for now.  We have more important things to do.” Jame dropped the box he was moving.

“Come here, my love.” He pulled me over to him.  We were both dusty and sweaty, but he peeled off my clothes and then his and made love to me right there standing up in the garage. 
Marymotherofgod
, he was sexy and sure made things hot and exciting. Jame had a way of filling up life.

Chapter 31

The beginning of the week flew by as we prepared for Jame’s surgery. We had lists and more lists.  Jame only had his mother left after his father died 10 years ago. He let his mother know about the surgery but we had decided that he was not going to tell her about us. Or Michael. When I told him what she had said to me on that fateful phone call that, “You knew what you were getting into, Cath,” he said she didn’t deserve to know about our happiness.  She was in South Carolina and wouldn’t come up anyway.

Erin, who attended Rutgers University right there in New Brunswick where the Cancer Center was, skipped classes to sit with me in the surgery waiting room.  She didn’t want me to be alone.  Thank you, God, for my precious daughters.  What a gift Sam left me with!

I was with Jame as he was getting prepped.  He seemed calm under the circumstances but a little pale.   He grabbed my hand, “Cath, this isn’t like a death-bed request, but I really want to talk about us getting married.”

He sure knows how to push the right buttons.  Did he think I couldn’t resist a man going in for serious surgery?

“Don’t start with that now, Jame.  We’ve got other important things to think about.”

“Nothing is more important than you and me,”

I gave him a kiss.  “Hush now.  I promise we’ll talk about it later.”

He was getting drowsy from the meds they had given him. “Love you, Cath.”

“Love you too, my sweet Jame, forever and ever,“ I whispered into his ear as the orderly wheeled him away.

I saw him give a small smile and a little wave of his hand as he went out of my sight.

Doctor Hadler found me a few hours later.  Erin held my hand as he reported on Jame’s surgery.  “We got all of the melanoma and removed the sentinel lymph node from the path.  It looked a bit suspicious but we’ll know more after the node is biopsied.  He’s in recovery now and a nurse will come for you when he’s awake and ready to go to his room.”

I didn’t realize how worried I was until the doctor left the room and my tears started.  Erin hugged me hard and whispered to me as I used to do for her, “It’s gonna be all right, Mom. Shhhh, I promise it’s gonna be all right.”

At that moment my cell phone rang.  It was allowed in the surgery waiting room so people could be in touch with family members.  I didn’t recognize the number and almost didn’t answer it.  It was Jack Masterson.

“Cath, it’s Jack.  I’ve been leaving messages for Jame all day but he’s not picking up.  How can I reach him?”

“Jame just came out of surgery, Jack.  What is it?”

“I found your son, Michael.”

I sat stunned in silence.  I could not process what he was telling me. “Wh...what?”

“Cath, I traced him through his high school and college information.  He’s in Boston.  Lives there and works there.”

“I…I…Jack, I’ve just been through hours of waiting for Jame’s surgery and am a little incoherent at the moment. What do we do now?”

“No rush, Cath. Michael’s not going anywhere.  Take it easy, talk things over with Jame when he’s better and let me know.  I’m here for you.”

“All right, Jack.  We’ll call you back.” I turned off my phone.

“Who was that, Mom? You look sick.” Erin was watching me closely.

“Oh, someone trying to reach Jame.  He has to call him back.  Nothing big, honey. No worry.”  No worry, right.  I was on emotional overload and couldn’t process this news.

Erin went back to Rutgers and I followed Jame up to his room.  He was still mostly out from the anesthesia and it was unnerving to see my big, strong healthy guy so helpless and weak.  No matter what he had said, this was a major surgery.

I slept in the chair in his room that night, giving him sips of water, listening to his moans of pain, and watching the nurses check his back and his drains. And I prayed to all my angels and saints to heal him so we could have our life together.

“Cath,” I heard as I came out of a deep sleep. I was slumped over in the chair and it was just starting to get light outside. I jumped up and leaned over him.

Jame was trying to move in the bed. 

“Hi honey, are you in a lot of pain? Do you want me to call the nurse?”

“Yeah, could you? I could use some more pain meds. Thanks.”  He moaned as he tried to move his shoulder.  “Ouch, this really bites.”

As I pushed the call button for the nurse, he said, “Hey Cath, I dreamed I saw Michael.”

I froze.  Now I believed in coincidences but this was too much.  Maybe Jame did have super powers so that all he did was want something and it appeared.  

The nurse came in, adjusted all his tubes and lines, and gave him more pain meds and Jame settled back into sleep.  What would his reaction be when I told him that Jack found Michael? He’d probably jump out of bed and drive to Boston.

I used a bathroom with a shower for family members and did a quick run to the cafeteria for some coffee and breakfast.  I realized that I hadn’t eaten anything last night.  I ordered a big breakfast because if I were going to nurse Jame back to health, I’d need my strength.

Jame woke up late in the afternoon and was more coherent.  Doctor Hadler had come in for a post-surgery check. He said the biopsy would take a few days and all Jame needed to concentrate on was getting better.

“Hey, sleepy head,” I leaned over him and gave him a kiss.  His one good arm came around me, but the other one was in a sling so as not to disturb the surgery site.

“Hey, my love.  Are you still here?  You should go home and sleep.  What is it, midnight? This isn’t much fun.  Ow, I think I need some more pain meds.”