Miranda (21 page)

“Where do you think you’re going?” He grabbed me by the arm, his voice hoarse.

“I was trying to escape.”

“I thought so.” He turned around and looked at the clock on the nightstand. The morning tone rose in volume. “It’s ten o’clock already?”

“Surprised, Clausell?”

“Enough…” He scratched his head. “I don’t remember having slept until ten in the morning… ever.”

I thought he was joking.

“Never?”

He didn’t answer.

My cell phone rang. It was Norman. I hesitated to answer, until I remembered that it was well into the morning. I couldn’t avoid the call. We would have lunch together every Christmas. That was our family tradition. I thought that this year we might break the rule. The events during the last few months made me feel like, perhaps, I was no longer one of his priorities.

“Good morning, Norman! Merry Christmas.”

He sounded more excited than I did.

“Merry Christmas, Miranda my love!”

That very moment, Eliezer’s cell phone also rang. He looked at it and looked at me confused about the coincidence of the two calls.

“Where are you?”

“At home.”

“Yeah? I just rang your doorbell, but you didn’t answer.”

I couldn’t lie to him, nor tell him the truth, so finding something in between was what was necessary.

“I just woke up.”

Norman was silent. He knew me too well. I heard a sigh.

“Are we going to lunch today?”

“To tell you the truth, I thought that we wouldn’t be having a lunch this year. You know, after the…”

“You’re mistaken, girl. The food will be served at one in the afternoon.”

I smiled.

“I’ll see you at one.”

I hung up. Eliezer was no longer talking on his phone. He had his silent look planted squarely on my naked chest.

“Let me guess. Lunch is at his house at one in the afternoon.”

“You guessed it. Are you going too?”

“That was Isabel.” He made a gesture with his hand that held his phone. “She has something up her sleeve. I was also invited.”

“Are you going?” I asked while I put on my bra.

“I don’t think I’ll have a choice.”

“The truth is, you do.”

It infuriated me that Isabel exerted a certain control over Eliezer. And I couldn’t understand why deciding not to go would be complicated and carry negative consequences for him.

“We’ll see what I do. You’ll find out at one.”

I shrugged my shoulders. I got up off the bed. I put on my pants that I supposedly would not have taken off.

“I need to go. I need to go home, shower, and change.”

I looked at his eyes. The time had come.
Now what?
I needed to be brave and willing to hear Eliezer’s response, even though it may not be what I’d want.

He walked me to the living room.

“Now what?” I asked.

His green eyes became misty. He stroked my lips with his fingers. I had to control my body.

“We’ll see… We’ll see…”

He opened the door.

I got to my car. My cell alerted me to an incoming text message.

“Let’s enjoy the moment”

I didn’t know what to make of the message, so I decided to follow the advice, at least for the day.

***

I got to Norman’s house and the first thing I saw was the white GTR parked near the enormous entrance. Eliezer had decided to come too. I would pretend that nothing had happened between us, but, in any case, we would at least treat each other cordially.

A new maid greeted me.
How things have changed
, I thought. The woman walked me to the room where various people were already gathered. This was not the traditional and familiar lunch with Norman to which I was accustomed. For the first time, Medika put on a big show. For a few seconds, I was stunned and didn’t react. Before me there were silhouettes with names and faces: Norman, Isabel, Ethan and his wife, Eliezer, and… who was she?

I don’t believe it. The woman with whom he was arguing yesterday!

As soon as Norman was aware of my presence he got up with the aid of a cane, then Isabel rose, holding one of his hands and the other supporting his back so that he would not teeter and fall. The gesture didn’t seem sincere to me. The moment turned strange. Even Ethan, in his surprise, shot a look of confusion at me. Suddenly, just as Ethan saw me, the rest turned their eyes toward me. I became the center of attention.

Norman approached. He caressed my face, from my cheek to my chin. He smiled while he moved his hand into mine to hold it firmly.

“It always pleases me when you come,” he said, and I smiled.

“How could I not, Norman?” I responded, looking at his eyes, filled with a mixture of happiness, hope, and a few traces of some emotion that I’ve never seen him experience, and that I could not describe.

Even though my mind tried to decipher Norman’s sentiments, my eyes outsmarted me and escaped to look a few meters further away to where Eliezer was intently watching our interaction. The moment those green eyes, stuck to my memory like screen protectors, met mine, he looked down because they were interrupted by what appeared to be his companion speaking to him. I couldn’t hear her, but only noticed that Eliezer gave her his attention.

One of the servants of the kitchen approached Isabel and spoke into her ear. Immediately afterward, she announced that the table was ready. Norman still held my hand. The group began walking with me now acting as Norman’s support. Isabel paused in between the foyer and the dining room. We approached her, and she smiled, but her face wasn’t friendly. I took it to mean:
you shouldn’t have come
.

“Thank you, Miranda. I’ll take him from here.” She took Norman’s hand away from mine.

In the dining room, at the insistence of the man of the house, I sat next to Norman. I looked up and took note of who my nearest neighbors at the table were: Eliezer and the female he was with. Isabel sat her next to him.

The scene seemed like piece of Dali surrealism. For more than twenty years, the luncheon had been with only Norman and myself and no one else–at the same time and in the same place. It seemed unbelievable to me. That evening, the house seemed packed with too many people, and I struggled to understand the reason for the presence of each one of them.

“Miranda, we haven’t had a chance to introduce you.” Isabel put on a courteous tone like a mask. “She is Vanessa, my friend, moreover, a very good friend of Eliezer.”

I smiled, not to be cordial, but to override the remorseful anger that engulfed my being. At least I would no longer have to call the anonymous female, “the woman in question,” rather “Vanessa.” I tried to not to put much stock into the sarcasm that every one of Isabel’s words carried, but there were three words whose significance I couldn’t overlook:
very good friend
. Certainly, the definition of “very good friend” could mean different things. In this case, it seemed like Isabel had left out two words:
with privileges
.

Vanessa wouldn’t stop talking to Eliezer. She followed every one of his moves with her perky, insistent eyes. When he would raise a glass to his lips, she would follow his hand–the same hand that had been deep within my most intimate parts a few hours ago–with her eyes. He, on the other hand, would project a calmer demeanor. I knew that he was not that calm. Something made him uncomfortable, perhaps it was one of the people present: Vanessa, his mother, his father… me? There were many possibilities. I, in my eternal complex, was hopeful that the uncomfortable one would interact with me. At least, that way he would think of me, even though he would be hearing the words of another.

With a gulp of red wine, I exerted force against the lump that was forming in my throat where columns of unanswered questions were assembled for a parade. Why the hell did I feel angry the moment I spotted the redhead within Eliezer’s comfort zone? Why am I here? Why do I feel so inadequate… so bad? Why does this luncheon carry such a heavy atmosphere? Why do I feel that the relationships between the Clausell men and myself don’t feel the way they used to?

Norman, on the other hand, whistled and expressed happiness and gratitude on his face. Nonetheless, I knew that happiness that he was showing wasn’t real. The familial reconciliation was no more than staged, a farce… a circus. Yes, it was difficult to decipher who was in on it and who wasn’t.

Norman resumed holding my hand, which lay on the table after putting down my glass of wine.

“Tell me, Miranda, did you go to the home yesterday?”

The volume of his voice was sufficient for the people seated nearby to become interested in the conversation. My answer was simple. Hopefully, perhaps, that way, he would get the message and stop asking me questions.

“Yes.”

“How wonderful! And who did you seduce into going with you this year?”

I could have sworn that he knew the answer to that question. He made it very easy for me, and it was the moment for which I was waiting since I arrived to launch my attack.

“No one of importance. In fact, the third choice on my list.”

The words could not have come out any better. With them, I felt that I opened the escape valve of a pressure wave. Norman belted out a belly laugh and my attention returned to Eliezer in front of me. I enjoyed how every one of the lines of his forehead deepened while we stared at each other. Within seconds, after I had already retreated, and just before taking a sip from his cup, he launched his attack.

“You must have really bad luck, Wise.” He took a sip of wine, which surely helped make his mouth more acidic for the words that he planned to unleash against my response.

“Perhaps,” I responded with a sarcastic half smile.

“They say that people attract those whom they most desire.”

Oh, I thought, we’d leave it there… that he would set aside his pride and accept my comment. This was not the place to instigate a melodrama–not with all these people around.

“Certainly, Clausell. Perhaps that should be one of my New Year’s resolutions.”

He raised his cup and, with that look that irritated me so, made a toast.

“To your New Year’s resolution!”

I had no choice but to raise my glass. I went back to being the center of attention.

“Miranda, tell me more about this home. Is it where you grew up?”

I didn’t know whether Isabel’s interest was genuine… or sinister.

“Yes. I grew up there,” I answered candidly and innocently.

“So it was where Norman rescued you.”

Within that comment there wasn’t a bit of interest in knowing more about the home, rather it was in screwing me over and ridiculing me. I had to think twice before letting my words go. The first few options were neither decent nor appropriate for the setting. I was already accustomed to being the center of attention, but it also felt unpleasant enough.

“He didn’t rescue me from the place, rather from a future with few opportunities in store. That home is my home. It’s where I grew up. It’s where I was loved, and we’ll always be appreciative of Norman’s help and for the other noble hearts that provided for us.”

My heart beat a million times a second, and even though my words broke the attack that Isabel had been brewing against me, the pause lasted only a few brief seconds.

“And tell me, dear… you never knew your parents? You know nothing of your past?”

Anyone else might have believed the card she was playing, but not those who knew her. Her bad vibrations were capable of penetrating my skin and forcing me to remember the day when the curiosity to know about my parents was so strong, I couldn’t contain it…

Soon I’d be fifteen years old. Norman had been asking me what I wanted for a gift for months. I didn’t know what to request, until the day when I said:

“May I ask for anything?”

“Except for a car, a house, or permission to marry.” He answered the question in a jocular tone but without diverting his attention from the computer.”

“I want to know who my parents are.” His fingers stopped typing. His face remained fixed on the monitor. He fought the sudden disconcerting feeling that invaded him upon hearing my request with a sigh.”

“If that’s what you want.”

***

Eliezer sneezed and I was back to reality. I looked at the others. All eyes were on me.

“No… and no.” I said to Isabel.

“I’m sorry, dear?” She didn’t understand my short answers.

“The answers to your two questions are: No, I didn’t know my parents, and no, it’s not necessary to understand my past, well I’ve always lived in the home, so
that
is my past.”

Just as she was about to launch another question, Eliezer interrupted her. For a moment, I thought that he would come to my aid.

“Does anyone want to share their New Year’s plans?” he asked, to which I asked myself:
since when is this egotist so interested in what other people do?

“We’re going to Colorado,” Ethan said.

“That’s a good place for the occasion,” his wife completed.

Eliezer made a gesture of approval and looked at me. I could see it coming…

“And you, Wise… Where are you going to get bored on the 31st of December?”

I resolved to follow his game.

“Well… really… I’d love to get bored in New York, and it’s not that parties and hustle and bustle excite me, because they tend to make life complicated…” I began to say. He knew to what I was referring and I could notice how the slight smile unsuccessfully tried to escape from the prison bars of his lips when he drowned it with another gulp of wine.

“And what is it that excites you to make you want to go there?” he interrupted.

“Being part of an iconic event… being part of history.”

Isabel didn’t lose the opportunity to insinuate herself in the conversation.

“Interesting.”

A voice I didn’t recognize spoke.

“And you, Eliezer… What are your plans?”

The redhead opened her eyes like a girl who’s been offered candy. I perceived the reaction as evidence that between those two there was something more than a “very good friendship.”