Minor Demons (12 page)

“Ok. I’ll find a way to earn your trust back. In the mean time, will you at least tell me how you kicked his ass? I want details. I hear the first time only took about thirty seconds.”

Shadow smiled.

“It was pretty quick. I took out his legs and knocked him down.”

“See? I knew you were a sweep the leg kind of guy. That’s why I landed that strategic blow on his leg.”

“You hit his ankle. There was nothing strategic about it. You have bad aim with a blade.”

“Agree to disagree, Shady. Agree to disagree.”

Shadow wouldn’t admit it, but he was glad Leech was back.

“What happened after that?”

“I said, ‘Fuck you’ and stabbed my sword down at his throat but one of Venom’s summoners pulled him away. They didn’t pull him from the death pit, just ruined my kill.”

“Baal told me he had to stop a fight between Lucian and your uncle. How pissed was General Cain?”

“Pretty pissed. He killed Venom and his summoners. Satan took away the new middle demon of torture position that your father was being considered for.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“Not a big deal? I thought you wanted your dad to get a promotion. Didn’t you say he’s been a minor demon forever?”

“Yes but they’re considering him for the demon-in-training instructor. That’s still a middle demon position and he would report directly to the Dragon. Of course, he would still be loyal to General Cain so killing Venom was a pretty smart move overall.”

“How was it staying with Baal?”

“I dunno. I was knocked out for most of it, remember?”

“Ok, I’ll be more specific. When you were awake, what was it like being in a department like idolatry?”

“Well it’s true what they say. Baal parades himself around like a god and everyone that works for him definitely treats him like one. When he’s in his official armor, he’s pure gold. Gold cape, gold helmet, gold scythe. He would make a nice shiny angel if he wasn’t so vain and... well... a demon. He was pretty cool to me though. He dropped in a few times to ask what my plans are after the trials, who my father is, and where I learned to fight. He’s definitely a lot less scary than your uncle.”

“I’m not sure if anyone told you, but Baal pulled you out of the fight with Nightmare when Venom refused to. He was pretty mad about the whole thing. Any idea why?”

“Well...”

“Leech, don’t keep secrets from me anymore. It’s annoying.”

“It’s just a suspicion. I don’t know for sure... but I think he’s trying to recruit me. I think he wants me to become a minor demon in his department after the trials. I guess he figured that you and Nightmare will join Cain and Lucian. He doesn’t want Lilith because he doesn’t want anyone in his department that draws more attention than he does. That leaves me in fourth place as his best potential pick from the top ten.”

“Interesting. Maybe we can leverage that against him later. You should head back and go see the medic again. Get some rest.”

“Sorry, Shadow. I’m doing the temptation trial.”

“This really isn’t a time to try to be brave, Leech. You’re having a hard time just standing there.”

“How much use do you think I’m going to be if I drop from fourth place? Cain will tell you I’m a waste of your time and Baal will want nothing to do with me. The temptation trial is all talking and suggestions anyways. Maybe I can at least get the guy to commit suicide.”

Shadow grinned.

“If anyone can talk until everyone listening wants to kill themselves, it’s definitely you Leech. Just don’t overdo it. Remember what happened to your throat.”

“I’ll be fine. Do you have a plan?”

“Based on what kind of person I get, yes. I have several plans. I don’t really trust you though so you’ll just have to hear about it when I get out.”

Leech hung his head in shame.

“Alright. Well, I have faith you’ll keep your first place spot.”

“Thanks. Let’s go watch.”

––––––––

L
eech and Shadow watched the final trial and many of the demons-in-training were lucky if they could get the human to steal from the grocery store or get into a fight. Once the top ten started entering the trial, the sins became a little worse. Valefor talked his human into robbing a bank and then pulling his gun on the cops. He was shot down. Andras talked his human into using an Ouija board and eventually summoning Andras to earth. It got to the point where the human could see and hear him. The guy went crazy and ended up in an asylum. He slit his own throat as soon as he was able to get his hands on a razor.

When it finally became Leech’s turn, he looked at Shadow.

“Any advice for me?”

“Just about everyone in the top ten has only pulled off a single kill. If you match that, you should keep your place. I know I joked about it earlier, but playing to a person’s annoyance may be your best bet. It won’t be easy, but turn an annoyed guy into a guy who fights when he’s annoyed. A guy who gets into enough fights will eventually pick the
wrong
fight and he’ll get killed. That ends your human’s life and keeps you in fourth. I wouldn’t swing for the fences on this one. You’re injured and it’s unlikely you’re going to pass Lilith no matter what you do. Your goal going into this should be to keep your spot, nothing else. Fourth is very respectable.”

“Maybe I’m going crazy, but that all sounded pretty good. I think I’ll listen to you on this one, Shady.”

“Well that would be a first. Good luck, Leech.”

“Thanks. I’ll need it.”

––––––––

A
s Leech hobbled towards the final trial, Baal nodded. No one else had received any sort of acknowledgement from Baal. Leech nodded back, glad that he was receiving the attention he felt that he deserved. Maybe Baal’s interest would lead to an easier time in the temptation trial. He hoped Baal had realized that he needed a fake human that he could crush with annoyance.

When Leech entered the temptation trial room, the door shut behind him. On the table in the middle of the room was a file. Leech sighed, picked up the file, and started reading.

L
eech read the file three times before he decided on a plan. His fake human was named Bill Adams. 34 years old, divorced, no kids. He worked in IT for a small company. Under his personality traits, Leech found the angle he hoped to work. Most of it seemed like fairly useless information, but he hoped that two words listed there would be his way through the trial.
Aggressive driver
. Leech wasn’t entirely sure what exactly that entailed, but he hoped it meant that he swore, cut people off, and exhibited all sorts of other unsafe driving habits. Maybe Baal had rigged this one for him. He was about to find out.

Leech placed the file back on the table and rang the buzzer by the door.

“I’m ready.”

The door opened and Leech stepped into a small two-bedroom apartment. Bill was getting ready for work. Leech could hear him singing along with the radio as he shaved.

It was time to set the stage. Leech began looking for Bill’s wallet and keys. When he found them, he hid the keys under a couch cushion and put the wallet on Bill’s kitchen counter. He hoped that if Bill was stalled while getting ready for work, his aggressive driving habits would become even worse as he made up for lost time.

Bill exited the bathroom and went to grab his wallet and keys. After he checked the table where he had set them and looked under the table, he slowly turned his head to look at the ceiling and then slowly cursed the day.

“God... damn... it.”

Leech could hear what Bill was thinking.

I can’t be late to work again. I’m one late day away from getting fired!

A grin spread over Leech’s face. This was even better. Bill was going to
have
to speed to get there in time. Leech decided to tell Bill where his missing items were so that Bill would trust his suggestions later on.

“The keys are under the couch cushion.”

Bill stood there for a moment, wondering where the thought had come from. His blank stare left his face as he decided he didn’t really care and that the couch was as good a place as any to find his keys. Within a minute of searching the couch, he had his keys in his hand.

“Weird. They must have fallen in there when I was watching TV.”

Leech then gave Bill the final piece of information that he needed.

“Your wallet is on the kitchen counter.”

Bill looked confused.

“That’s a weird thought. I haven’t even been in the kitchen this morning. Why would my wallet be in there?”

Leech’s grin was brought down by sheer panic. He had just assumed that Bill ate breakfast. Maybe there was something in the file that he had overlooked.

As Leech searched the kitchen, he realized his error. Nothing was out of place. There were no dirty dishes in the sink. Apparently, Bill didn’t eat breakfast. He searched the room to find a reason for Bill’s wallet to be in there. He saw plastic bags in the garbage can and decided to play a hunch.

“You left your wallet on the counter after you brought the groceries into the kitchen last night.”

Bill fought the thought for a moment.

I thought I had my wallet after that. I thought I left it with my keys.

Leech responded, “Well it wasn’t in the couch. Might as well check the kitchen counter.”

Bill started moving towards the kitchen and found his wallet on the counter where Leech had put it. Leech briefly worried that he would question the situation further, but Bill simply put the wallet in his pocket, grabbed a coat, and ran out the door. Leech followed.

When Leech made it to the garage, he laughed out loud. No wonder Bill was an aggressive driver. When he got in his car, he must have thought he was better than everyone else. Bill drove a black 2010 Corvette. It must have been his prized possession because nothing else in the house seemed to be worth much and Leech had read that Corvettes could cost tens of thousands of dollars. Guessing Bill’s take-home pay, he probably loved this car more than he had ever loved his ex-wife.

Bill got in his car, slightly adjusted the mirrors, put on a pair of expensive sunglasses, and started backing slowly out of his driveway. Leech couldn’t help but laugh.

“Wow. I wonder if this guy even realizes what a douche he looks like driving a Corvette in sunglasses. It’s probably never occurred to him.”

While backing out of his driveway, one of his neighbors sped down the street. Bill hit his brakes and chose a random assortment of curse words.

“You crazy jackass son of a bitch!”

He followed that up by backing out of the driveway and then tail-gating the car that had just cut him off. Leech laughed again.

“You have issues, Bill. Serious issues. Let’s see if I can use that to get you killed.”

As Bill tail-gated other cars, swore, cut people off, and weaved in and out of traffic, Leech realized that he was actually a pretty skilled driver. Then he saw something that could tempt Bill to make some stupid driving decisions. A few cars over in the right lane was a guy in his early twenties driving a Dodge Viper. Leech made his way over to the Viper’s driver.

“Look to your left. The douche in sunglasses driving the Corvette flipped you off earlier. You should teach him a lesson. You’re younger than him. You’re faster than him. Leave him and his corvette in the dust.”

Leech saw the Viper’s driver look over at Bill. His eyebrows arched down in a frown. He made his way into the lane next to Bill and then revved his engine at the next stop light. Bill looked over and smiled.

“Oh so the little Viper wants to play? Bring it on asshole!”

When the light turned green, both cars took off. The Viper’s driver thought Bill was a jackass and Bill had to prove that he was faster than anyone, including twenty-something punks with something to prove.
Daddy’s money doesn’t make you better than me, trust fund kid!

Leech kicked back in the back seat of the Corvette and let it happen. When he thought the time had come for it to end, he pointed at an upcoming traffic light and changed it to yellow. Both cars decided to push past it. The light turned red before both cars entered the intersection. Bill, who was in the left lane, barely saw the car coming from the other direction in time to swerve. He overcorrected as he tried to straighten out his car in his lane and drove into oncoming traffic. Bill collided with the car of a mother of two who was taking her seven-year-old and ten-year-old to school.

Leech stepped out of the car and watched what was happening. The ambulance was there within minutes. Bill was dead. The mother in the other car was dead. The kids were bleeding, but it looked like they were going to be alright. The total fatality count was only two. Hopefully that was enough to hold his spot in the rankings.

Leech felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Baal smiling at him.

“A little rough, but you pulled some deaths out of it. Let’s go assess the final numbers.”

“Yes, sir.”

Baal hit his scythe against the ground and both of the demons disappeared in dark blue flames. They appeared in the room that Leech had started his trial in. Baal waved and a chair appeared which Baal offered to Leech. Baal went and sat at the other end where his throne had appeared. He grabbed the file and opened it.

“So what made you decide to go with death by driving like an asshole?”

“I saw aggressive driver and thought I could manipulate the circumstances to get him to mess up in a car.”

“The keys and the wallet? I hope you realize that the whole wallet in the kitchen was an unnatural thought you forced into Bill’s head. In the real world, that’s taking a 50/50 shot. He could have just lost it and called in sick.”

“That’s a fair criticism, General. I guess that’s why I’m still a demon-in-training hoping to learn from an experienced demon like you.”

“Don’t start kissing my ass now, Leech. Vanity means I think a lot of myself. Don’t confuse that for me giving a shit what others think about me. My entire department makes that mistake on a day-to-day basis.”

“When I said I hoped to learn from an experienced demon
like
you, I didn’t mean you General. You’re far too busy to be dealing with things like that. There are many demons who are more experienced than I am. So while you may think what I just offered was a compliment, it wasn’t. It was an observation. Hell, I’m in fourth place. There are demons in this class that know what they are doing more than I do.”