Mindset (10 page)

“Do tell.”

“My new jeans!!!!  And t-shirts!  Do you have any idea how long it has been since I wore jeans and t-shirts?  Over two years!”  Eva hugged herself, swinging the multiple bags she was carrying.”

“You’re kidding me, Eva!  How in the world could you ever go so long without wearing jeans?  You used to love casual.”

After a quiet moment, Eva continued, “’Jeans and t-shirts are not becoming of a Wesley woman.  They are gauche and indicative of the lower class.’  I think I might wear jeans every day for the rest of my life, Callie.  Just because I can.”

“Good for you, Eva!  You go, girl!”  Her bright smile was returned full measure.  They had just decided to go back home when they turned the corner to find themselves facing Macy’s, which had big, red signs covering all the glass front windows.  “Ooo – a Shoe Sale!”

“I guess I need to get some boots if I’m going to live in Texas!” 

The ladies listened to the Eagles Greatest Hits all the way home.  The last strains of
Take it Easy
could be heard clearly by the men sitting on the front porch when the girls pulled up to the ranch house.  “Y’all sure were gone a long time.  Did you have fun?”

“Sure did, Granddad.  Hey Josh.  Cade.”

“I got jeans!  And t-shirts, too!  And boots!”  Eva’s happy face lit up the whole yard. “I’ll just go inside and unload this stuff and start dinner.  Right after I change.  Into my new jeans!”

“Cool, Eva.  Hey, got enough to feed one more?”

“Of course I do, Josh!  Tacos ok?”

“Sounds great.  Thought we might finish that conversation we started the other day before my sister so rudely interrupted us.  Got time?”

“Sure.  In fact, if you’ll give five or ten minutes, I’ll meet you in the kitchen, and you can keep me company.”

“I’ll even help you in the kitchen, how’s that?  Kind of work for my supper.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that.  Unless you want to grate the cheese.  I hate to grate cheese.”

“I will grate the cheese.  I’ll even cut up the lettuce and tomatoes.  How’s that for a deal?”

“How could you possibly know that’s my second least favorite thing to do?  You’ve got yourself a deal.  See you in ten.”  With that, Eva nearly waltzed into the house and up the stairs.

“Callie, can I have a word with you?” 

“I’m kind of busy right now, Cade.  Maybe later, ok?”  Not waiting for an answer, she followed her friend up the stairs.”

Cade didn’t reply as he felt himself doing a slow burn.  He sure had made a god awful mess of things, hadn’t he?  Now he had to figure out a way to fix this, but he sure as hell didn’t know how he was going to do it.  He’d known Callie nearly half is life, and he still couldn’t figure her out.  Part of him was consumed by guilt for taking her the other day.  And the other part was still blown away from the feelings he’d experienced before, during, and after their time together.  He couldn’t help but want more, but at the same time, he couldn’t just dive back in without letting her know that it was more than just sex for him and he was hoping it was for her, too. 
Shit, first I’ve got to get her to talk to me, and that’s not going too well.

He stopped himself.  If he was honest, he had to admit that it wasn’t just the sex that was incredible, but the woman herself.  Of course, that was nothing new to him.  He’d thought Callie was incredible from the time he’d met her when she was just a skinny little kid who drove him nuts with her pursuit of his attention, through her adolescence when she first started to blossom into the beautiful woman who took on and conquered New York’s fashion world, to the woman fully grown, whose heart and soul were even more beautiful than the covers she’d graced on all those magazines. 

He’d never been so unsure of what direction to take in his life.  Even when he hadn’t known where he was going to live or how he was going to support himself, he’d at least figured out a plan.  That had been easy, since all he had to do was worry about himself.  If he made a mistake, the only one who’d be affected was him, and that had been a gamble he’d been willing to take.  That was not the case now.  Whatever he decided would not only affect him, but it would affect all the people he’d come to care for and respect over the last fifteen years.  He could lose everything that had come to mean anything to him. 

It wasn’t like he was still the same lost, scared kid who’d arrived here without a home, family, or much of a future.  He’d come a long way since then, hadn’t he?  He was financially solvent with some solid plans to keep building on what was looking like a successful and lucrative future.  Between the profits from the mineral mines he’d identified and developed and the investments he’d made over the last few years, his finances were sitting pretty.  He
had
come a long way.  But that was just part of the problem solved. 

Had he really come so far?  He still didn’t have a clue who his father was.  His mother had still died an alcoholic and drug addict.  You can take the boy out of the trailer park, but can you ever really take the trailer park out of the boy?  When push came to shove, deep down inside, he still felt like white trash.  Maybe not poor white trash, but white trash all the same. 

****

As Eva stirred and seasoned the taco meat cooking on the stove with garlic salt and
comino
, Josh continued grating cheese and decided to begin the legal discussion he was anxious to pursue.  “So, you said the other day that you wanted a speedy and quiet divorce.  Do you still feel that way?”

Eva didn’t even have to take a deep breath this time.  “I absolutely do.  But I’m so hoping there’s a way to do that without going back to New York.  It would be … let’s just say, it wouldn’t be a good idea to get on James’s turf.  Is there any way I can do that?”

“Well, we can certainly try, and we have a pretty good chance of settling things by proxy and long distance, especially if we file here in Texas.  As far as how quickly we can finalize things, that depends a great deal on how long it takes to settle the estate.”

“What do you mean settle the estate?”

“Who gets what.  It’ll also depend on whether or not there was a prenup and some other factors.  Was there a prenup?”

“No, Josh, no pre-nup.  But can he make me go up there?  What if he refuses to give me a divorce?  Can he make me stay married to him?”

“Absolutely not.  If you want a divorce, whether he wants one or not, it’s going to happen.  He can slow things up a little bit if he wants to, but the bottom line is, he cannot legally prevent you from getting a divorce.  Again, how quickly we can make this happen really depends on how long it takes to settle the estate.”

“Okay, that’s good.  And the estate settlement is easy.  I don’t want anything.”

“Hold on, Eva.  I wouldn’t be a good lawyer if I didn’t try to get you to reconsider that position.  As much as he’s put you through, not to mention insisting that you quit a lucrative career as a model, I’d say you’re entitled to a sizeable settlement.  It could go a long way towards financial security, especially when you’re trying to decide what your next step should be.”

“Josh, I appreciate you pointing all that out, I really do.  But I don’t want anything from James except my freedom.  Not one single thing.  I just want to close that chapter in my life and move on, and I don’t want any reminders of the hell I spent over the last two and half years.”

“What about your personal effects?  And I’m sure you had your own assets when you married him, didn’t you?  Your own money, clothes, furniture, car?  If you won’t go after his assets, you should at least leave with what you came with, don’t you think?”

“Anything that was mine before my marriage is long gone, Josh.  James informed me from the beginning that my taste in clothes and home décor wasn’t in any way fitting for my new station in life.  I’d like to say he made me get rid of everything, but the truth is, I willingly went along with his suggestions.  I wanted to make him happy, and it was just easier to go along with what he wanted.  Somehow, I came to believe that he was doing me a favor by marrying me and the least I could do was honor his requests.  Plus I was really afraid I’d embarrass him and myself.” 

“As for my money, I signed over my savings, between two and three  hundred thousand, and it went into a joint account.  I’ll gladly forfeit that in exchange for a speedy divorce, assuming he’ll let me go.  I have about $20,000 my mother left me, so that will hold me over until I figure out what I’m going to do with myself.  It’s not much, but I was thinking I could sell my wedding rings, too.  That should pretty much even out what I lost in savings, and God knows I don’t want to keep them.”

“Well, Eva, I can see your mind’s made up, so I won’t argue with you anymore, although I still wish you’d let me pursue a settlement.  Leaving the marriage without anything will definitely make the process quicker.  In the meantime, I have a friend who’s a jeweler, and I’d be happy to show him your rings and get an estimate of value for you, if you’d like.”

She reached over to her left hand and pulled off the diamond ensemble she’d worn since her engagement three years ago.  “I remember when James gave me this, I thought I was living my own fairytale.  I felt like a princess, and I thought he was my knight in shining armor.  How could I have been so stupid?”

“Stupid is not a word I’d ever associate with you, Eva.  You’re not the first woman to be fooled by a man.  It sounds to me like James had this planned for a long time, since his brother tried to follow a similar protocol with my sister.  As far as we know, this sort of thing could have been going on in his family for generations.  And you can trust me when I say that you will get a divorce, whether he wants to let you go or not.  There’s not a thing he can do about it.  And since you don’t want any kind of financial settlement, there’s not a whole lot he can do to even slow it down.”

“That would be nice, Josh, but I really doubt it’s going to be that easy.  You don’t know my husband.  He doesn’t lose well.  I don’t know if he’s ever lost at anything at all.  In any case, I’ll take you up on your offer about the rings.  Just add that to my bill.”

“Eva, there’s not going to be a bill.  You’re a friend of the family, and I have no intention of charging you a dime.”

“That’s very nice of you, Josh, but I insist on paying you for handling this for me.  I never thought I’d ever find a lawyer I could trust not to be bought off with Wesley money, and I will gladly pay you for your services.”

“Now, Eva…”

“No, Josh, I mean it.  I have to do this, don’t you see?  I’ve lost myself, and I have to find me again.  I got into trouble because I let someone else take care of things for me.  I lost my power, my self-respect, and my self-confidence.  I don’t mean to imply that you’re anything like James.  You’re nothing like him and everything he’s not, but I still can’t just turn this over to you, do you understand?  I have to take back control over my life.  For me.”

 “Ok, Eva, I hear you.  Can I at least give you a discount?  I would do that for any of my friends, not just you.  You are my friend, aren’t you?  I’d like to be yours, you know.”

Eva paused and looked into his eyes.  “I’d love for you to be my friend, Josh.  I don’t have many of those anymore, and I think I’d like to change that, too.  And since that’s settled, I’d appreciate the standard discount for friends.  But I don’t want any more of a discount than you’d give any of your other friends, ok?”

“You got it. Now, there’s only one other thing I think we need to discuss, and that’s a restraining order.  I’d like to file one on both brothers.  New York’s a long way away, but they certainly have the means to travel here whenever they want to, and I’d like to take legal steps to ensure your safety.”