Miles Apart (The Not So Bad Boys of Rock Book 2) (16 page)

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Sebastian~

We were back on tour, finishing out the last shows
of the tour. The last show in the states was in L.A., then we were heading back
to London for the make-up concert that we'd cancelled after my breakdown. I
hadn't called it that, but every chance Davis got he razzed me about falling
apart over a girl. He never failed to point out how much trouble I'd caused him
by taking off without discussing it with him. I told Travis that if he kept it
up much longer he'd be finding another band to manage. Travis did his best to
calm me down, but every time Davis walked past me I felt my hands curl into
fists.

I
was sitting with Dek in a coffee shop, just outside of Cincinnati, when I
received a phone call from Savannah.

"Hi
Sebastian, it's Savannah." Came a soft voice, and my mind instantly went
back to the trip Dek and I had taken to see Brooke and Jade. I couldn't hide
the smile that formed on my lips. Savannah had been the sweetest combination of
a young girl and a grown up. The ease with which she had spoken to me still
amazed me.

"Well,
hello Savannah. This is a pleasant surprise. How are you sweetheart?"

"I'm
good," she giggled. "I can't wait to see your concert this
week."

Savannah's
Mom, Rachel, had called me last week to see if my offer of two backstage passes
to the L.A. concert was still good. I'd told her that I couldn't wait to see
them both. I had arranged to have a limousine pick them up and deliver them to
the pre-concert party. I'd asked Davis to make sure that the caterer had
kid-friendly food on the table, and not just the usual high-end delicacies. They
would be seated just to the right of the stage, away from the crowd, and
afterward they would be taken to a suite in a local hotel where they would both
be pampered throughout the entire weekend. I wanted it to be a night that both of
them would never forget.

"I'm
looking forward to seeing you. I think you'll have a great time." I
chuckled. There was silence for a moment and then I heard her call out a quick
goodbye before her Mom took over.

"Sebastian,
I can't thank you enough for everything. I've never seen her this excited. You
really didn't need to go to that much trouble." Rachel gushed.

"Rachel,
trust me, it's wasn't any trouble. I just want you both to enjoy
yourselves."

"Well,
I can't imagine how we wouldn't. The evening sounds incredible. I've never had
a massage before." She admitted.

"All
the more reason for me to make it possible. You deserve to feel special."
Dek raised a brow at my tone. He'd been listening intently to every word.
Rachel was a single mom and I got the feeling that between working at her job
and caring for Savannah she didn't have a whole lot of time to herself. I had a
lot of respect for her and what she faced every day. I wanted to do something
nice, and it had seemed like a good choice. Natalie had suggested it to me after
hearing me talk about them.

"Well,
thank you. We can't wait. See you Friday?" She inquired.

"Absolutely.
I'll see you Friday. Bye Rachel."

"Bye
Sebastian."

Dek
watched silently for a moment before speaking up.

"Dude,
is something going on?" He questioned.

"No.
Why?" I frowned.

"You're
like, happy. Shit, you're even smiling. What's up? One phone call with a little
girl and you're back to your old self? What gives?" His eyes narrowed a
bit, and he leaned closer, whispering. "You got a thing for her
Mother?"

"No!"
I snapped. "I mean, she's nice and pretty and all. But no, we're just
friends." I asserted. "It's just really nice to talk to a woman
again."

"Still
haven't heard from her?"

I
shook my head.

"I
really don't expect to. I guess she pretty much said what she needed to say the
last time we spoke."

"Jade
tells me that she's been having a hard time of it. I guess she's been crying a
lot." He offered.

"That
so?"

"Yeah.
I think she might be doubting her decision."

"Hmmm."
I replied, casually, trying not to let him see that it made me happy that she
was struggling. I'd been going through my own private hell.

"Doesn't
that bother you, man? Call her. Maybe you two just need to see each other
face-to-face, without the alcohol and punches." He remarked.

"Hey.
Neither of those were my fault. I didn't pour those beers down her throat. And
I sure as hell never asked to see her kissing another guy." I slammed my
hand down on the table, attracting the attention of a few customers. After a
moment they turned their gaze back to their computers. "Tell me what you
would have done. How would you have reacted to seeing Jade in someone else's
arms."

"I'd
probably want to beat them senseless." I threw my hand up at his
admission. "I know. It's the same way you reacted. I get that." I
glared at him. "I do. But you have to see where I'm coming from. For the
past ten months you've been lost in this girl. I've never seen you like that.
She's the one, man. Brooke is your future. Why are you letting it slip
away?"

"You're
right. I've never felt like this about anyone before. I've changed. But I'm not
going to beg her to take me back. She made her choices. Now we both have to
live with them. And, whether it kills me or not, I have to move on. It's been
almost a month." I surmised.

"A
month." He scoffed. "You say that as if it's a long time. It's hardly
been any time at all." He argued.

"It's
felt like a lifetime to me!" I pulled the beanie further down my forehead
and sat back, sighing heavily. "When I was in rehab, my therapist advised
me that in order to heal, and get past Charlotte's death, I probably needed to
put someone else's needs before my own. When I met Brooke that's what I did.
She needed me and I let everything else take a backseat. And I did it
willingly, with my whole heart. I fell hard for her. I've never felt something
so powerful. My heart would clench every time she came into view, or smiled
that sweet smile. Her laughter, it sounded like the best music I've ever heard.
And her touch. God. Her touch was the best feeling in the world. When we were
intimate, it wasn't just sex. Making love is different. It's passion, and love,
and promises. It's everything. Nothing like it was before, with other
women." I ran my hands over my face, pulling hard at the stubble along my
jaw. "I feel lost without her. Out of balance, you know. I'm lonely, Dek.
Talking with Rachel isn’t about me wanting to hook up with her, or having her
fill Brooke's shoes. It's about filling a void. Even if it's only a friendship,
and it is, it helps ease the pain."

"I'm
sorry, man. I don't mean to judge you. I know you're having a hard time. I just
hate to see you give up on something that's meant to be." He affirmed.

"If
it's meant to be, then it'll happen. Until then, I have to start learning to
live my life without her."

The rest of the
week seemed to fly by
and before I knew it Friday had arrived. We had a show tonight and tomorrow and
then a two week rest before the concert in London. I really wasn't looking
forward to returning there. Somehow, the city had lost its charm.

The
limo had picked up Rachel and Savannah and one of Davis's interns came to
inform me that they had arrived backstage. I excused myself from my current
conversation and followed the young intern.

"Sebastian!"
Savannah called out enthusiastically. She looked adorable, all decked out in
every Paradox article of clothing she could manage to throw on. She wore a
T-shirt, a baseball cap, a temporary tattoo adorned her left cheek. She even
had patches of me scattered randomly over the front of her blue jeans. I smiled
broadly at her attire.

"You
are a vision of beauty." I smiled, leaning down to kiss her non-tattooed
cheek. I raised to give Rachel a quick hug and in doing so our cheeks brushed
together, ever so slightly. I felt her shiver, and I hugged her abruptly,
feeling slightly uncomfortable at being this close to another woman.

"I'm
so glad that you're here." I stepped back, needing to put some distance
between us. Dek was right. I needed to be careful. I'd missed Brooke so much
that the touch of another woman felt too good. I realized how lonely I'd truly
been. "Sarah's going to make sure that you get settled and have everything
you need." I motioned for the intern to come over. "I mean it, if you
need anything, just let her know." I offered a smile to Rachel before
kneeling in front of Savannah. "I'll sing one for you okay kiddo? What's
your favorite?" She thought for a moment before smiling and answering.

"Rain
on Me." She grinned broadly, and for the first time I noticed that her
front teeth had filled in.

"Hey,
you've gotten your teeth back! Now you're officially grown up." I ruffled
her hair. "Have fun. I'll see you after the show." I jogged off to
find the guys. The movement made my shoulders ache. Yesterday Dek and I had
gone a few rounds in the ring, working off some female-related frustrations.
He'd really given me a workout. I rotated my arms a few more times, trying to
work out the kinks. I needed to be fully mobile tonight. We always put on one
hell of a show. I knew I would be sore tomorrow.

"There
you are." Chris exclaimed as I made my way to where they were gathered. We
had a ritual of gathering together for a pep talk before every show. "We
were getting ready to start without you." He shook his head at my
forgetfulness.

"Sorry.
I was just helping Rachel and Savannah get settled in for the show. By the way,
she made a special request for "Rain on Me" so we need to knock that
one out of the park." I looked to Dek, whose guitar solo in that song had
gotten the attention of some higher ups in the industry. Yeah. He was that
good.

"You
got it." He winked, knowingly.

"Okay
guys, are we ready for this?" I began, just as we did at every gathering.
We huddled together and got ourselves pumped and ready for another great show.

An
hour into the show I addressed the audience.

"Ladies
and gentlemen, we have some very special guests in the audience tonight."
The camera panned over the crowd, settling on Savannah and her mom, and their
faces were instantly projected up on the big screen. When she realized that she
was on the screen Savannah, being her outgoing self, gave a little wave to the
crowd. The audience cheered loudly.

"I'd
like you to help me welcome Savannah and Rachel! I met these two on a plane one
afternoon, and as you can imagine, that sweet little face won me over. This is
their first Paradox concert so help me make it one that they'll never forget,
okay?" I implored. The crowd roared and screamed out words of welcome to
the two of them. They both beamed at the support. "Savannah tells me that
her favorite song is "Rain on Me." Is that anyone else's
favorite?" Screams of "hell yea" filled the temporary silence.
"I've got a little secret, it's one of our favorites too." The guys
offered nods of affirmation. "This one's for you, my sweet Savannah."
Dek plucked out the first few beats and the crowd went silent.

After
the show there was the usual crowd of reporters and photographers. Tonight
there was even a crowd from one of the major entertainment television shows.
Their reporter had cornered Davis and requested a two-minute segment with the
band and Savannah. They took a bunch of photos of me with Savannah, me with
Rachel and Savannah, and the whole band surrounding them. The interviewer
wanted a quick re-cap on how we'd met and what was next for the band.
Everything happened so fast and then it was over.

Soon,
we were saying our goodbyes and I promised to keep in touch. Before getting in
the limo, Rachel turned and threw her arms around me, pressing her warm lips to
mine. I'd be lying if I said it didn't feel nice, but it also didn't feel
right. My heart staled on contact. I’d never intended for anything like this to
happen. I wrapped an arm around her waist, hugging her back, and wished her the
best. I told her if she ever needed anything, anything at all, to call me. I
knew she wouldn't, but I wanted her to know that I would be there for Savannah.

They
both waved goodbye and I was alone once again, but for the first time in nearly
a month I felt happy.

That
happiness ended when I saw the headlines of the entertainment section of the
newspaper the next morning. I checked online and saw that the photos dominated
most of the celebrity news pages. One in particular stood out among the rest.

One
of Rachel in my arms and us kissing.

How
would I ever explain that? I hadn't even kissed her back. I suddenly began to
understand the meaning of the word karma.

And
yes, it really was a bitch.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Brooke~

The drive to my mother’s house had taken less
than an hour. She'd texted me directions last night, while at the same time
informing me that she couldn't wait to see me and that she had so much to tell
me. I pulled into the drive and followed the long, tree-lined stretch until I
reached a large house tucked away beneath a large expanse of mature maple and
oak trees. I stepped out of the car, taking in my surroundings, and retrieved
my bag from the back seat. As I closed the door, I heard the front door open
and my mother's voice trilled through the open air.

"Sweetheart.
It's so good to see you. Come here and let me have a good look at you."
She grabbed my hands in hers and held me at a distance. "My goodness, you
are a vision. Look at you. You're so grown up." Tears filled her eyes and
she awkwardly made a move to hug me. I took a deep breath and stepped forward,
bridging the distance. Her arms wrapped around me, squeezing tightly, and
before long I felt my own go up around her, and holding on for dear life. This
is what I had longed for. All that I had wanted when I was growing up. I'd
always been an affectionate child, and growing up in a household with parents
that were workaholics hadn't done anything to fill my emotional tank. I
remembered when I'd first met Sebastian's parents and how they had held me, and
showered me with the love and affection I had been starving for throughout most
of my life. I missed all of them, terribly, but right now I needed to be in the
moment and enjoy the affection that I'd craved for so long. Now that I was
getting it, I didn't want to let go.

After
a few minutes, we both stepped back, reluctantly.

"Come
in. Come in." Mom sniffed, wiping frantically at the tears on her cheeks.
I followed her up the stairs and into the house.

I
was immediately surrounded by warmth and a coziness I couldn't quite begin to
describe. It was unlike anything I'd ever felt growing up. It seemed as if
giving up her law practice had allowed her to finally be free to tap into who
she truly was. I turned and took in all the décor. The walls were lined with
photos and artwork. Rich, dark colors adorned the walls behind the them. I
stepped further into the house and peered into the den. Large leather sofas
filled the space, and a stone fireplace sat in the corner, the stonework ran
all the way up the vaulted ceiling, creating quite a focal point for the room.

"You
can look around. I want you to feel at home." She assured me with a warm
smile. This was not the mother I had known growing up. At least, not the one I
remembered her being.

I
stepped down into the room and walked over to the closest sofa, running my hand
over the cool leather. My heart clenched tightly, tears soon followed, pooling
in the corners of my eyes. Mom watched me closely.

"What
is it dear? Is it too much, too soon?" She asked, not knowing what had
brought on my reaction.

"No
Mom. It has nothing to do with being here. I was just reminded of someone very
special. Someone I miss very much." I whispered.

"The
young man you've been dating?" She tilted her head, giving me a
questioning smile.

"You
knew about that?"

"Of
course I did, dear. It was all over the news there for awhile. What? Don't look
at me like that. I follow the entertainment gossip." She quipped.

"Well,
we're not together anymore. The media hasn't gotten ahold of that tidbit just
yet." I gripped the back of the sofa, my knuckles turning white.

"Here,
come sit down. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Actually,
that's one of the reasons I called you. That, and a few other things." I
took a deep breath, holding it in for a moment, trying to collect my thoughts.
"Wow, this isn't as easy as I thought it would be."

"I
know. There have been so many times I wanted to pick up the phone and try to
reach you. I even dined in your restaurant once, just last year, but I
chickened out before I found the nerve to confront you. There's something I
need to tell you. It's not going to be easy to hear. Your father…" At that
moment she was interrupted by the front door opening and a man calling her
name.

I
knew that voice.

But
what was he doing here?

"Richard.
You're home early." She swallowed, hard.
Home?
"I was just
about to tell Brooke everything."

"Hello
darling. It's good to see you again." He stood there staring at me. I
didn't understand what was happening. These two hated one another when I was a
teenager. My mother wouldn't even allow me to speak his name in her presence.
Now they were living together? I felt like I was having an out-of-body
experience.

"What's
going on here?" I stood, looking between the two of them. "I don't
understand."

"Brooke,
sweetheart, please sit back down. I'm sure that this comes as a complete
surprise to you. It even surprised us. Let us try to explain. Please." Mom
pleaded. Part of me wanted to make a run for the door and drive away as fast as
my car would take me. Another part of me longed to hear how it was that two
people that had given up on one another could somehow find their way back to
each other and find love again.

The
latter part won out. I tentatively sat on the edge of the sofa, not fully
committing to staying put. Not yet, anyhow.

"I
know that this may come as quite a shock to you." Dad began. "This is
what I wanted to tell you in London."

"What?
After all this time you were just going to pop into my office and tell me that
the parents who deserted me as a child were suddenly back in love and living
happily ever after? I'm sorry, but I don't understand how this could even
happen. You two hated each other."

"That's
not entirely true." Dad countered.

"What
do you mean?"

"I
screwed up." Mom interjected. "It was my fault."

"Rebecca,
you weren't the only one to blame." Dad admonished. I looked frantically
between the two of them. My head was spinning.

"Brooke,
please try to see it from our perspective. We were both young and very driven
by our careers. I was especially determined to make a name for myself. When
your dad and I first got married we never intended to start a family. We knew
that we were both too selfish to offer you the kind of love and attention that
you deserved. Never for one minute do we regret having you. If anything, you
were the best thing to come out of that first union. But, when we were both
forced to choose between family and career, we made the wrong choice."

I
stood and began pacing. My mind racing with questions and angry feelings. I
wandered aimlessly, back and forth across the wood floor, muttering to myself.

"We
understand if you are angry." Dad stated.

"Do
you?" I turned on him. "Do you really? Because I'm not sure you can
even begin to comprehend what I'm feeling right now, Richard." I choked
up. Dad reached for me but I pulled back. "Don't. I'm not ready for that.
What happened between you two nearly destroyed me. I felt abandoned and
confused. One day you left for work and never came home. Do you have any idea
what that's like? How it felt like to be eleven years old and not know what
happened to my daddy? For years I wasn't allowed to speak your name in the
house. It was as if you'd died. For years I've wondered what I may have done to
make you leave. And Mom," I turned my attention on her. "You left me
to fend for myself." I huffed.

"I
was there everyday. I took care of your basic needs." She stated, firmly.

"Yes,
but I needed so much more than that. I needed my Mom. I needed someone there
for me when I went through my first break-up, someone to help me plan for
college. I needed love and affection. You offered none of that. Work was always
the most important thing. It was that way for both of you. And you want to know
the worst part of this? You've made it so that I'm the same way. It's all I
knew growing up. Working hard to achieve your dreams. Never giving up on your
goals. I had someone that loved me, more than anything else in this world, and
I walked away because I made the wrong choice. Because growing up I never had a
choice." I fell to the floor, bursting into tears. My body shook as the
sobs rocked me. Mom and Dad joined me on the floor, holding me firmly between
them. Before long, they were both crying with me. We remained that way for the
longest time. It was the first time I could ever remember when nothing else
mattered to them.

For
the first time in my life, I was their first choice.

A few hours later
, I woke in a dark room.
After the crying had stopped, Dad carried me up to a bedroom where I had fallen
asleep. The weight of the past few months had finally taken their toll on me. I
padded my way to the bathroom to freshen up. Afterward, I made my way down to
the kitchen, where I found them making dinner. I leaned quietly against the
doorframe and observed as they went about the menial task of cutting
vegetables. Music played softly in the background and Mom sweetly admonished
Dad for slicing the onions when she had asked him to chop them. A country music
tune came on and Dad silenced her by taking her in his arms and slowly swaying
her across the floor. Her laughter filled the room and I was immediately taken
back to a happier time, when I had been eight years old and I used to watch
them dancing in the living room. I wiped a tear away and stepped into the room.

"Hey."
I waved, shyly, taking a seat at the counter.

"Oh,
hey sweetie. Are you feeling better?" Mom asked, coming over to my side.

"Yes,
I do. I have a few more questions, if that's okay."

"Yes,
of course. Anything." Dad offered.

"What
made you get back together? After all this time?"

"Well,
we actually started talking again about a year ago." My jaw dropped. I'd
spoken to Mom last year and she hadn't offered any of this. "I know. I
should have told you a long time ago. I just didn't know how to tell you. I
wasn't even sure things would work out. We tried dating but things remained
tense between us. It wasn't until I closed my practice that we decided to give
it another try and get re-married."

"So,
you walked away from something that you'd poured yourself into just so you
could make your relationship work?" I asked, slightly confused. "I'm
sorry, but that doesn't sound like the mother I remember. What made you feel
that closing your practice was the answer?"

"It
wasn't like that, Brooke. I didn't feel that I gave anything up. I just decided
that I had placed my dreams before my happiness. At one time I thought they
could go hand in hand, but I was wrong. I could never find a balance. Sometimes
you change your path. I didn't walk away from anything. I just walked towards
something better. And I'm happier now than I've even been." She moved into
Dad's arms, looking up at him with loving eyes. "I knew that closing my
practice was the right choice because it no longer made me happy. I stopped
trying to seek affirmation from my job and my peers, and instead found it with
your father. I only wish it hadn't taken me twenty-three years to figure that
out."

I
watched them, absorbing what she'd just said. Sebastian had written that he
would walk away from his dream if I ever asked him to do so. I would never
expect that of him. But he had never asked me to do that either. All this time
I thought he wanted me to choose. I finally understood that all he ever wanted
was for me to be willing to put him first. The willingness, not the action, was
what told him that I wanted a life with him. And right then and there I
realized that was exactly what I wanted.

I
wanted my future to be spent with him, not a bunch of sweaty men in a hot
kitchen. I would always have a connection with food, but my connection with
Sebastian meant so much more. I needed to tell him that. I just didn't know how
to convince him that I finally meant it.

"Dad,
why did you leave?"

"I'm
afraid my answer isn't pretty. I was selfish. When I knew your mother wasn't
willing to make me a priority I made the choice to walk away. I wasted twelve
years of my life just to keep my pride. Re-connecting with your mother was the
best decision I've ever made. Well, that, and coming to see you in London. Even
though you wouldn't talk to me, just seeing you warmed my heart. I'm so sorry
for the pain we've caused you. I know that we can never make up for lost time,
but I hope that you can find a way to let us back into your life now. Maybe we
can start over again." His eyes pleaded with me.

"It
won't be easy, but I'd like to give it a try. I miss my family. The man I told
you about, Sebastian, his family is wonderful and they are so close. They've
welcomed me with open arms. I'm going to miss that…"

"Don’t
say that sweetie." Dad came over and opened his arms to me. I stepped
forward and lined my cheek up against his chest. He smelled nice. I remembered
how I used to love snuggling with him as a child. He still smelled like the
Ralph Lauren cologne he'd always worn.