Miles Apart (The Not So Bad Boys of Rock Book 2) (15 page)

“It’s
nice to hear that again. I wasn’t going to say anything, but I’ve been worried
about you, son.” His kind eyes searched mine, waiting for me to open up. I
offered a small smile.

"You
need any help?" I asked, knowing his answer would be no. It was always no.

"No.
I've got this. Just grab a seat and hang out with your old man for a bit."
He waved a strip of sand paper at the nearest chair.

“Mom
wasn’t really tossing back a few, was she?” I asked, almost hesitantly.

“Nah,
I was just fooling around. You know your mother, two glasses of wine and that
woman is flat out on the couch. I’d hate to see what a few shots of the hard
stuff would do to her.” He nudged me with his elbow. “But, she was up on the
table, only she wasn’t dancing, she was trying to kill a spider on the
ceiling.”

“I
thought you were the official spider catcher in this house.” I chuckled.

“Still
am, only this time I was sound asleep in front of the television. I never knew
what was happening until I heard a crash and a scream. I ran in only to find
her laughing like a crazy woman with an arm stretched out in front of her,
holding a Kleenex. When I leaned over her all she said was ‘I caught the spider
but I killed the table.’ I swear it was one of the funniest things I’ve ever
seen.” He laughed softly at the memory.

“I’m
glad she was okay.” I muttered, holding a pair of Dad’s pliers in one hand. Dad
has a thing for tools. He always has. There’s an entire wall in his workshop
dedicated to tools, complete with a pegboard and little hooks throughout. I
traced a finger over a few of the items hanging there.

“Yeah.
Your mom comes from good stock. Going to take more than a spider and a broken
table to take her out.” He winked, playfully. “So, you going to tell me what
happened between you and your girl?”

“Aw
Dad, I don’t want to rehash it. I've already told the story to Mom, didn’t she
fill you in?” I tossed aside the pair of pliers and dropped into the chair
beside the workbench.

“Come
on, humor an old man.” He answered, gruffly. "And hang those pliers back
up on the wall." I did as ordered.

“Well,
in the beginning things were going well. I mean really well. We seemed to have
the long-distance thing figured out. When I think back on all of the time spent
sending her romantic gifts, cards, and letters. We talked on the phone or
texted constantly. You saw how we were together. Then, when she moved to L.A.
things seemed to be more serious and I bought her that engagement ring.
Everything went to shit when she took that job in London--.”

“Now,
don’t go blaming the job, son. The girl has a right to her dreams.” He
interrupted.

“Dad?
Please.” I shook my head. “We didn’t talk for days after that. Then we talked
on the phone and worked through some of our baggage. Everything seemed to be
going alright. She flew out to Amsterdam and spent a few days with me, that was
an awesome four days.” I blushed just thinking about it.

Wow,
I missed seeing her blush.

“Anyway,
after that things seemed to become more and more strained between us.”

“In
what way?” Dad asked.

“Well,
she has this neighbor. A guy. He’s also a chef. They spend a lot of time
together. We sort of stopped calling each other as often. And when we did call
we couldn’t talk long or we missed each other completely. One night I called
and the neighbor answered.” Dad raised an eyebrow at this fact. “Yeah.” I
nodded. “And he tells me that she’s taking a shower. I mean, he may as well have
told me that he was there in the apartment and she was naked in the next room.
I went ballistic. I felt utterly helpless. Then, she gets really sick and
doesn’t even call me to let me know. I’m hours away and would have been there
if she’d have asked, but instead he ends up taking care of her. Nurses her back
to health. Can you believe it?” I paced around the shop.

“This
guy basically has her within an arms reach twenty-four hours a day, seven days
a week. How can I compete with that Dad?” I rubbed aimlessly at the tightening
in my chest, wishing it didn't appear every time I thought about her.

“Did
she make you feel like you had to compete with this guy, Reid? Or was that
something your gut was telling you?” He eyed me carefully.

“My
gut I guess.”

“Don’t
get me wrong. Listening to my gut has spared me a whole lot of grief over the
years. I just wanted to get a good read on if this was really an issue. You
always were sensitive. That’s not a bad thing, son.”

“I
just felt like we were starting to grow apart, or at least that's what I feared
was happening. I went to her house to surprise her. I was going to propose.
Instead, I caught her kissing Reid. I lost it, Dad. I went nuts on him. Brooke
had to pull me off the guy. We went back into her apartment and argued. After
the fight, she told me she couldn’t do it anymore. She said it was over between
us. Then she asked me to leave. I went back the next morning and Reid and I
talked. He cares for her, but he knew that she loved me and that he never had a
chance.”

“Is
that the last you’ve spoken to her?”

“No.
She called this morning, told me that she needed time.”

“Well,
hold on to that ring. If I know women, and I do, things will most likely turn
around. Just give her space to work out what’s going on in her own head. You
can’t expect her to walk away from her dreams just because they don’t fit into
your plan. You two have a lifetime to figure it out. You don’t have to rush
into marriage.”

“It
doesn’t matter, because I don’t have the ring.” I stated, flatly.

“Where
is it?” Dad scowled.

“I
gave it away.”

“Gave
it away? Are you insane? Who did you give it to?”

“Doesn’t
matter. Someone who needed it more than I do. Besides, I’m not so sure I want
to sit around waiting for her to work out her issues.” I groaned through gritted
teeth.

“Sebastian,
don’t let pride stand in the way of your love for this girl.” Dad said, in his
best fatherly voice.

“See
this table?” He asked, rubbing a hand over the newly repaired leg. I nodded,
wondering where this was going. Dad had a tendency to use analogies when he
gave advice. “This table is strong. These three good legs are sturdy, probably
could have held this old girl up for awhile, even with a bum leg. But that leg
there,” he pointed to the one in the vice. “That one provides the stability
that the table needs to remain upright. It completes the set. Your girl,
Brooke, she completes you. She’s your stabilizer.”

“But
she walked away. Twice! I’m not going to beg her to take me back. I already
tried and you see where it got me. She’s gone off and I’m here with you talking
about tables and stability crap. I gave her everything I had.” I jabbed at my
chest with two fingers.

He
just shook his head. “That pride will be your demise son.”

“Well,
right now pride is the only thing I have left.”

“Then
I guess you better get used to wobbling because I’ve got a notion that without
her you’re going to spend the rest of your life feeling out of balance.” He
went back to sanding.

I
didn’t say a word in response. I watched him finish his work. When he was done
we stepped back and admired the repaired table.

“Looks
great dad.” I clapped him on the back, keeping a hand on his broad shoulder.

He
turned and pulled me in for a bear hug, complete with back patting and a few
grunts about me being a good son.

I
spent the rest of the evening hanging out in the living room while we all
watched television. Every once in awhile I caught myself stealing a glance over
at the newly repaired table and recalled his words of wisdom.

Out
of balance was exactly how I would describe what I was feeling right now.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Brooke~

I sat in Donnie’s office, waiting for him to
respond. I’d just unloaded everything on him. Poured my heart out. I’d
practically vomited everything onto his desk. But he just sat there. Quietly
staring at me. It was maddening.

“Say
something.” I pleaded with him.

“I’m
sorry Brooklyn. I’m just trying to wrap my head around what it was that he did
to make you end it. It sounds to me as if the guy went all out for you. If this
has anything to do with him making you choose between him and your career, then
that’s not fair. As a couple, my wife and I have to choose between what we want
and what we love every day. Do you love him?” He asked, sternly. He was
definitely wearing the big brother hat today.

“More
than anything. But that’s beside the point.” I huffed.

“Dammit,
Brooke! It’s the
whole
point. Most people spend their entire lives
searching for what practically fell into your lap. If you love this man then
you need to fight like hell to hold onto him. He was good to you. You deserve
that kind of man in your life.” He came around the desk and knelt in front of
me, taking my hand in his.

“Does
this have anything to do with the accident? You know that Devon would have
wanted you to be happy. That kid was crazy about you. I remember how he would
bring you a pink rose every Wednesday."

"Yeah,"
I chuckled at the memory. "The card always read "Just because it's
Wednesday," and he would tell me how lucky he was to have found me."

"He'd
want to know that you've found love again. I think he would approve of
Sebastian. What are you afraid of?"

“I’m
not afraid of anything.” I protested.

“Then
why are you running from this? Do you think that walking away from the job in
London will be the end of your career. That in some way it would make you a
failure?” His eyes searched mine, as if trying to make sense of what I had just
told him.

“I
don’t see why I should have to choose one or the other. No one I love should
ever put me in that position.”

“Did
he ever once ask you to choose?” He countered.

I
didn’t reply.

“Sweetheart,
don’t let your past dictate your future. You and Sebastian are not your
parents. You don’t have to repeat those mistakes.”

“I
saw him.” I mumbled.

“What?”
Confusion now clouded his handsome face.

“My
father. He was there, in London. I saw him and we spoke briefly.”

“Wait
a minute. You talked to your father? How did that happen? What did he say?”

I
filled him in on the details, not leaving anything out. Donnie had heard all
about my family, and for years he had tried to convince me to find my father
and ask him why he had left. He seemed to think that it would help me get past
the abandonment. I had argued with him and told him that I thought it would
only make matters worse.

“So
aren’t you even the least bit curious? When was the last time you talked to
your Mom?”

“I
guess it’s been a year now. Last I heard she was still living in Michigan. I
guess I could pay her a visit and see if she has anything to say about it. She
never would talk about him before.” I picked imaginary pieces of lint off my
shirt, keeping my hands busy to prevent them from shaking.

“Brooke,
I know the thought of this makes you nervous, but it might help you with your
decision about Sebastian. Just promise me that you’ll think about it, and don’t
give up on that young man. He wouldn’t give up on you.”

“I
don’t know about that,” I whispered.

“Sweetie,
a man has his pride. Maybe this time you’ll have to be the one who begs.” He
kissed the top of my head and I stood to leave.

“Thanks,
Donnie, for everything. I’ve missed talking with you. I promise I’ll let you
know what happens, regardless.”

“Love
you Brooklyn.” A warm smile filled his face.

“I
love you too. Always.” I waved goodbye and headed back to Jade’s.

It had been nearly
two weeks since I’d left
London. When I spoke with Max this morning he assured me that everything was
running smoothly in my absence and that he wanted me to take my time to sort
out my mess. As if taking a chapter from Donnie’s book, he did his best to
convince me to not give up on my relationship. I didn’t know how to tell them
that I hadn’t given up, I was just scared. No matter what I ended up choosing,
I knew that I would always love Sebastian. There just wasn’t a single fiber of
my being willing to give him up. Every day my heart ached for him. The mere
memory of him touching me, or kissing me, made the butterflies return to my
stomach.

Jade
had been talking with Dek. I’d overheard her conversation the other night. I
hadn’t been trying to eavesdrop, but when I heard my name I found my feet
rooted to the floor outside her room. I heard her tell him that I'd been having
a hard time. She mentioned that I was trying to work out some of my past
demons. Demons? Okay, I’ll accept that. She also told Dek that I was still in
love with Sebastian, and that I cried myself to sleep every night. Though that
part wasn’t entirely true, I had cried, but not
every
night.

Before
Sebastian and I had broken up it seemed that Dek and Jade could have been
headed in the same direction. Now, it was as if they’d done a complete flip. It
was almost as if our tragedy had been some form of awakening for them. Though
she didn’t talk about it much, I heard her on the phone with him most every
night. It reminded me of when Sebastian and I had first fallen in love. Boy, we
couldn’t seem to get enough of each other back then. Why did things have to
change? When had they gotten so complicated? Since my return I had been going
about my days as if I were in a trance. Nothing felt quite right to me. No
matter what I did, or how I tried to shake it off, my whole world felt out of
balance.

I
wanted to call him so badly, but I had been the one to end things. My pride
wouldn’t allow me to crawl back to him, not just yet. I had a few things that needed
clearing up before I made that call. The first thing I needed to do was reach
out to my Mom. I could only hope that she would be willing to pour her heart
out to me, after all these years.

I
dialed the last known number I had for her and, to my surprise, she answered.

"Hello?"
I froze. My first instinct was to quickly hang up the phone and pretend like
I'd never called. All of a sudden I wasn't sure of what I wanted to say to her.
The determination that had previously driven me to call had suddenly vanished.
"Hello. Is anyone there?" She repeated.

"Hi
Mo…" I cleared my throat. "Mom, it's me, Brooke." My heart
thumped wildly against my chest. I glanced down and could swear that I saw my
shirt lifting with every beat.

"Brooke?
Oh darling it's so good to hear your voice. I was just thinking about you this
week. How are you?" Her voice was warm and soft, nothing like I'd
remembered it being so long ago. Back then she was always in a hurry to get
back to work, or to work on a case. There was always paperwork to be filed. Mom
was a lawyer, and dad was a representative for a major pharmaceutical company.
He was obviously still in the business seeing as how he'd just been attending
the conference in London last week.

"I'm
doing well. Actually, I've been better, but for the most part I am well. How
about you? How is work?"

"Oh
I can't complain. Well, that's not entirely true, of course I could complain,
but I won't. Things are going well for me darling. I sold the practice last
year and I'm just trying to finally enjoy life, while I still can." She
laughed, softly.

"That's
good, Mom. I'm glad that you are able to finally settle down." We made
some more small talk and then I told her the real reason for my call.

"Listen,
Mom, I saw Dad last week at my restaurant in London. He was attending a
conference there and he came to my office. I have a lot of questions about him,
Mom. I think I deserve some answers." She was quiet, and for a moment I
thought she may have hung up. "Mom?"

"I'm
here." She reassured me. "Why don't you come stay with me this
weekend? We can catch up and I'll tell you everything you want to know. I don't
want to do this over the phone." She stated, almost pleading with me.

"Okay."
I answered, hesitantly. "I'll come stay with you. Friday night, around six
o'clock?"

"That
would be perfect. I can't wait to see you." There was a slight hesitation
in her voice, and I immediately felt the same sensation of heaviness come over
me. I think we were both feeling anxious, despite our outward enthusiasm.

"I
look forward to seeing you too."

I hung up the
phone and went to find
Jade. The sun was shining and she was out on the balcony. Spring was just
around the corner, and after living in Michigan all our lives we'd learned to
take advantage of the sporadic warm days that often occurred near the end of a
long winter season. I pulled a hoodie over my head and joined her.

"I
know it's still chilly out, but I couldn't resist." She explained, in
response to the sound of my chattering teeth.

"No,
it's not that bad." I conceded. "I've just been locked inside far too
long. It's nice to breathe the fresh air."

Michigan
was a beautiful state to live in. Sure, it usually got a bad rap for having
cold winters, but the seasons in-between more than made up for a few months of
winter coats and mittens. Jade and I had spent many summers at her family home
up north in Ludington, right on Lake Michigan. I had loved the time spent on
Sebastian's ocean beaches, but give me the beautiful sandy beaches and clear
waters of Lake Michigan any day. I peered over the railing to the street below.
Planter boxes lined the sidewalks and, thanks to the sunshine, the crocuses had
just begun to open. Their emergence made me smile.

"Yeah,
I like seeing you up and about. It's good to see you smiling. I take it things
may be looking up." She wondered. Her warm eyes softened even further as
she watched me struggle to respond.

"Well,
nothing has changed with Sebastian, if that's what you're wondering." I
gave a light laugh, attempting to brush off the hurt that was sure to follow
that statement.
My fault
, I kept reminding myself. "Actually, I
just got off the phone with my Mom. I'm going to stay with her this
weekend."

"Whoa."
Jade gulped. "That's great, Brooke. Can I ask how that came about?"
Jade knew me. She knew me well enough to see through my blasé attitude. She
knew that if I was voluntarily going to spend time with my Mom then things were
serious.

"I've
been doing a lot of thinking, for quite some time now. Not long after I had gotten
settled in London I realized how selfish I'd been to make the decision to leave
without even discussing it with Sebastian. I knew that I didn't need his
permission to go, so seeking his approval or support never even crossed my
mind. That decision was based on pure selfishness. It was the kind of thing my
Mother would have done. What she'd done my whole life." Jade's hand came
to rest on my back as I slumped forward in my chair. "I need to see her. I
need to know why she made the choices she did, and if she regrets them now.
Until I understand that, I don't think Sebastian and I have a chance. I'll
always know that he blamed me for tearing us apart. I know he says that he
doesn't really feel that way, but I feel it in my heart. I owe it to him to try
to understand. I owe it to myself."

"Do
you want me to go with you?" She offered. The hand on my back now rubbing
mindlessly up and down.

"Thanks."
I sniffed. "But I have to do this on my own. I've been running away long
enough. Someone once proposed that the road back in may not be as bad as the trip
out. Something like that. Either way, I'm hoping they were right." She
said nothing, instead nodding her head up and down, sharing in my hope.