Read Midnight Snack and Other Fairy Tales Online
Authors: Diane Duane
Two Guards PINION Harry as others SEARCH Joy. Harry watches intently to see exactly what they remove from her. The three have everything metallic confiscated, and these and the steel utensils on the floor are REMOVED. But when the search is finished, Harry shoots a satisfied GLANCE at Joy. She doesn’t understand it, and no one else sees.
GUARD
They’re clean.
ERICKSON
Good. Harris, freeze the residuals. Put these three in with them.
The Senior Technician does something at the console. The Dead momentarily FREEZE again. The pentagram forcefield’s color briefly CHANGES as as Joy, Harry and Doris are pushed through, then returns to normal.
JOY
You can’t do this!
ELIZABETH I
She is right, necromancer! We dead may not be your downfall, but soon enough my living servants will!
ERICKSON
We’ve had spies from Microsoft and Apple in here and
they
couldn’t work out what was going on. You think the
government
will? Dream on.
(to Harry)
You’ve ruined your chances of promotion, though. Pity. You did a ton of units the other day.
HARRY
That’s because I thought I was selling artificial intelligence, not human souls!
Erickson strolls up to the barrier with that charming glib smile.
ERICKSON
Why spend billions developing artificial intelligence when the real thing is free? It’s been all around us for years, just waiting for someone smart enough to take it. I figured out how.
(beat)
And it’s in such a good cause. What matters is life and the living. Our children, and their children. If we can make the world a better place for them —
Joy comes toward him. Her anger has gone cold: she actually looks dangerous. Erickson steps back as she approaches.
JOY
By stealing dead people’s souls and making them into slaves forever, or until the plastic breaks down, whichever comes first? That’s
better?
That’s your idea of a good future?
(shaking, furious)
This is just plain evil!
ERICKSON
Such a judgmental term.
JOY
What would you rather I called you, mister correct? “Ethically challenged?”
Erickson paces away, then back, trying to regain his cool.
ERICKSON
On the contrary, there are ethics I’m very partial to. Particularly the work ethic.
(beat)
The dead simply aren’t cost-effective. They don’t contribute anything to the economy. They’re not productive! And there’s no room for dead wood in this market.
HARRY
Now
I’ve heard everything.
GUNTER
I have heard these ideas before in a different form. They were no better for the living than they will be for the dead.
ERICKSON
(enthusiastic)
But now we’re making the dead
productive.
Think of it! You die, and suddenly you’ve lost all the physical difficulties that go with bodies. No more illness. You don’t need to eat. You don’t need to sleep. You don’t even have to take up space. The perfect work force! No sick leave, no absenteeism, no maternity leave, no retirement….
HARRY
No rights. No independence. No freedom.
Joy looks at Elizabeth and Gunter, then moves toward Erickson again. He walks away from Joy; she pursues him around the barrier. The others follow.
JOY
And what about heaven?
ERICKSON
Pointless place, if it exists. A waste of valuable human resources. Sitting around forever in a state of total joy experiencing the oneness of the universe or whatever…
(makes a face)
So
bourgeois
. Like spending eternity at a football match. While here we have a vast pool of previously wasted energy, the post-living, finally finding a useful role! Harnessed to state of the art electronics, spending a useful and fulfilling eternity in the service of humanity.
JOY
You are a very bad person!
ERICKSON
But a very good businessman. I’ll settle. Meanwhile, time is money, and we need to get the line rolling.
(to one of the guards)
Clear out the floor staff.
(as they go,
sotto
to his Senior Tech nearby)
Leave these three on the pentagram when it powers up and use their residues right away. They can make up some of what we lost last night.
JOY
What? We’re still alive!
ERICKSON
A condition best described as “temporary” once the pentagram gets going at full gain. Dead or alive, the machinery knows what a soul is, and it’ll take it quite happily.
(to the remaining techs)
Get moving. I’ve got a press conference in an hour.
All potential witnesses to Joy’s, Harry’s and Doris’s impending murder are now gone. The Senior Tech returns to the control console; the pentagram starts “heating up” again.
HARRY
(to Joy)
I forgot to call, earlier.
JOY
That’s okay…
HARRY
You
forgot something, too.
(hint, hint)
She stares, uncomprehending.
HARRY (CONT’D)
I don’t even get to die in a clean shirt!
And Joy finally GETS IT.
The pentagram BRIGHTENS and the HUM increases. Erickson and his Senior Tech are occupied with one of the control consoles. Joy starts hurriedly going through all her skirt pockets.
HARRY (CONT’D)
Joy!
JOY
Yes, yes, I know!
HARRY
Whatever else it’s been… it hasn’t been boring.
Their eyes lock. But there’s no time to waste. Joy rips open that last “secret” pocket, comes up with the hotel room key —
Just as the switch is thrown at the control panel.
The living people in the pentagram are FROZEN IN PLACE like the Dead earlier. Their expressions are of awful frozen pain. The key is stuck in Joy’s hand.
One by one, the dead trapped with them FLARE into columns of SOULFIRE, are SUCKED into the pentagram and routed to the “assembly line”. Erickson and his Senior Tech glance at this, then turn back to the machinery.
Many Dead in the pentagram RUSH back and forth in horror. But with great effort and pain, one is MOVING TOWARD JOY, avoiding “stepping on the lines” as he comes up behind her. It’s Gunter. Without being seen by Erickson and his tech, he TAKES THE KEY from Joy’s hand.
GUNTER
(painfully)
Now, I think, we burn a bridge or two.
Covered by the other panicking Dead, Gunter MOVES to the side of the pentagram forcefield where Erickson and his tech are standing. Erickson turns from the console once more and strolls idly to the edge of the pentagram. There Gunter is HAMMERING with one fist on the forcefield, splashes of light going up where he hits it. Erickson steps a little closer, watching idly, knowing Gunter can’t get out —
Gunter brings up the hand with the steel key showing between two fingers of his fist and PUNCHES THROUGH the forcefield. The forcefield FLARES. Gunter GRABS Erickson by one lapel and DRAGS HIM ONTO THE PENTAGRAM.
They STRUGGLE. Erickson is trying to stay off the lines so he can keep moving and not freeze like Joy and the others, but also trying to push Gunter onto them. Gunter is doing the same. It’s a battle against time, for Gunter’s starting to GLOW as the pentagram’s power gets to him. If this goes on much longer, the steel of the key will be no use.
But Gunter keeps dragging Erickson toward the heart of the design. Erickson, realizing he can’t stop Gunter, loses it and starts SCREAMING for help. The sound is lost amid the other SCREAMS of the Dead. His senior tech doesn’t hear it happening —
ERICKSON
Harris! Harris, help me! Harris!
GUNTER
(in great pain)
One night—late. One night—too many. But at last—I know how—to say—I’m sorry!
He PULLS ERICKSON DOWN with him onto the pentagram at its center, raises the key and SLAMS it down into the glowing heart of the pentagram’s circuitry.
A huge display of SPARKS AND SUPERNATURAL LIGHTNING erupts from the spot. The Senior Tech now REACTS with shock, but it’s too late for him to do anything. Erickson, TRAPPED by the pentagram’s power, STRUGGLES to get up. Gunter PUSHES HIM DOWN, then turns his head for one last look at Joy and DISSOLVES IN SOULFIRE like the others. Erickson is OBSCURED by more lightning.
Harry and Joy and Doris UNFREEZE and COLLAPSE. They stagger to their feet and help each other RUN off the pentagram.
Just in time! A BLAZING SPHERICAL PULSE runs to the borders of the pentagram’s forcefield and REBOUNDS like a ripple from the edge of a pool back to where Erickson lies trapped at the center. FIREWORKS of released power and magic go up. ANOTHER PULSE of this power FLAMES down the conduits and cables to the assembly line.
Its machines BLOW in multiple small explosions, then one BIG ONE. Lots more SMALLER EXPLOSIONS OF LIGHT come from packing cases, boxes stacked up on pallets, and the computers around the room (all Ericksons of course) as every Erickson chip with a soul in it now gives up its dead. The room fills with LAUGHTER and CRIES OF JOY as all the imprisoned souls are released.
Joy and Harry watch in astonishment. Across the room, GEORGE is released and Doris RUNS TO HIM. Both LAUGH AND CRY as they’re reunited. Not being able to touch doesn’t matter…
The pentagram’s light is DYING. The FIRE at the middle of it, where Erickson was, now FADES. But OTHER LIGHTS now appear as here and there the Dead are ILLUMINATED by an increasing light from somewhere else. Faces transfigured with joy, one by one these Dead turn and walk away, GLOWING BRIGHTER until they VANISH. It’s all that can be seen of each individual “tunnel of light” experience.
HARRY
What is it…?
JOY
They’re going on. Some of them must be real overdue…
The last fires die out of the pentagram, which is MELTED and SHATTERED by the energies that have flowed through it. There’s no sign of Erickson. Only one bright thing remains: a man’s shape—Gunter. The light of him grows constantly BRIGHTER as he slowly gets to his feet.
Harry and Joy walk to him. He smiles as they come.
JOY (CONT’D)
Are you all right?
Then they all LAUGH at the absurdity of the question.
GUNTER
Never better. But I have to go. My crew is waiting. And more than my crew. So much more.
JOY
(in glad tears)
Be careful.
GUNTER
Don’t worry,
schatzi
. I’m not driving.
He reaches out to touch her face. A glimmer of light clings where he touches her, for a moment. Gunter raises a hand to Harry in farewell, a gesture half military, half friendly: then turns and walks away into the light, VANISHING.
All other lights but the normal ones have died away now. The place has cleared quickly: very few of the dead are left. But Pario and Elizabeth rejoin Harry and Joy.
JOY
(to Pario)
I know you’re okay here.
(To Elizabeth)
But
you’re
still hanging around?
HARRY
I’d have thought you’d want to get while the getting’s good.
ELIZABETH I
My people need me now more than ever, living or dead. Don’t you read the papers?
SIRENS are heard approaching outside.
JOY
What do we do now?
HARRY
Over here, the term is “assist the police with their inquiries.”
He glances with mixed humor and threat at the Senior Tech.
HARRY (CONT’D)
I think there’s been some kind of industrial accident. Don’t you?
SENIOR TECH
Uh, now that you mention it, yes.
He hurries off to start making it look that way. Harry GESTURES at George to get lost. Smiling, George EXITS through a wall. Joy and Doris and Harry all wipe their eyes and HUG.
INT. ORMONDE HOTEL BREAKFAST ROOM—MORNING
The next day. Joy, Harry, Doris, George, and various other Dead who’ve remained are sitting together.
HARRY
Well, looks like I’ve got a few days free.
JOY
What about the show?
HARRY
Erickson’s stand is shut down. No point in trying to sell hardware that doesn’t run. Besides, do I even work for them any more?
JOY
You weren’t fired.
HARRY
The boss tried to kill me. That doesn’t count? I think I’ll quit.
JOY
What will you do instead?
HARRY
I’ll burn that bridge when I come to it.
A small sad smile between them.
HARRY (CONT’D)
Anyway, our flight back isn’t until this time next week. We’ve got some time to see the city.
JOY
Have we got enough money?
HARRY
We’ve got everything we need.
They hold hands, and the look between them suggests that Harry’s not talking about money.
HARRY (CONT’D)
Doris, how about another couple slices of that steel-belted radial bacon…?
DORIS
Getting a taste for it, are you? I thought you might.
HARRY
George, about those racing tips. Got a hot horse for a newly independent man?
Smiling, George beckons Pario over, pulls up a chair as Harry pulls Joy close.
EXT. TOTTENHAM COURT ROAD—DAY
As Joy and Harry come out of a betting shop, and swing off down the street together. They pass one of the many electronics shops there.
INT. TOTTENHAM COURT ROAD ELECTRONICS SHOP—DAY
On Tvs in the window and in the shop, Sky News is showing a slide with the Erickson logo and the International No-No symbol, a la Ghostbusters, superimposed over it.
TV ANNOUNCER
It was announced today that the receivers have been called in at Erickson Computers, after the apparent failure yesterday of their entire product line worldwide. The company’s world-wide losses are presently reckoned in the billions of pounds, including lawsuits pending for refunds and damages.
The SHOP GUY at the counter is pulling open box after box of a batch of Erickson calculators that just came in: the DELIVERY MAN who brought them stands waiting impatiently.