Midnight Fear (28 page)

Caitlyn noticed his laptop as it switched to screen saver mode. It sat on the walnut coffee table, nestled between an earthenware mug and a stack of files from the copycat investigation. Reid had been going through them, looking for some sign of Mitch’s unraveling he might have missed.

“You’ve been working today?” she asked.

“Just catching up on some email.” He wanted to tell her, to hopefully make her part of his decision. “SAC Johnston contacted me about writing a paper for the FBI training academy at Quantico. About the Capital Killer investigation, as well as the copycat case and the discovery that a federal agent was behind the murders. He thinks it could be a good psychological study on the pressures of the job and the realities of dealing with violent criminal behavior on a daily basis. If the paper turns out well, there’s a possibility I could teach a course.”

“What do you want to do?”

“Writing the paper might be cathartic. And Mitch…he’s someone we’re going to be studying for a long time.” With a sigh, Reid thought of the famous Nietzsche quote, the one about he who fights monsters taking care not to become a monster himself.

“I just don’t want you to take on too much, too soon—”

Gently, he lifted her chin with his fingers and stared into her eyes. “There’s no need to protect me, Caitlyn. And I’m dealing with Mitch.”

Her slender fingers curled around his wrist. “I know you are. We both are, actually.”

“I really do love you,” he whispered.

He lowered his head to hers, their mouths melding as Caitlyn looped her arms around his neck. He pulled her closer. Reid reveled in the feel of her body against his, and he loved the realization that he had become familiar with every soft curve of her.

“There’s something in the kitchen for you,” he said once his lips had left hers.

She gave him a curious look, then walked from the room.

When he reached the kitchen, he found Caitlyn gazing at the small, rectangular box wrapped in silver holiday paper.

“Is this a Christmas present?” she asked, holding the box as she turned to face him.

“Just an early one.”

With a small release of breath, she sank onto a chair
at the kitchen table and tore away the paper. Inside was a small diamond pendant on a delicate, white gold chain.

“It’s beautiful.”

“It’s a thank-you for letting me stay here,” he teased. “Megan helped me pick it out.”

Taking the necklace from the box, she carried it over to Reid and he helped her put it on, securing the clasp at her nape.

He owed her so much. Caitlyn was the reason he’d been willing to submit to whatever treatment was required to make him well again. She was why he had stopped running from the possible harsh reality of it, the fear. He’d been expecting the worst, had been prepared for it, but the gamma knife option was something he hadn’t considered open to him. He prayed this time he would stay healthy. He wanted to live a full life.

She turned to face him, the small diamond glimmering in the shallow hollow of her throat.

“Having you here is gift enough, Reid.” Her voice was soft.

He cupped her delicate jawline, his thumbs stroking her pale cheeks. They had been talking about the possibility of making their current arrangement more permanent. He had to admit he was enjoying the quiet, country life. Middleburg was peaceful, with its quaint antiques shops and traffic circles, or
roundabouts,
inside the town limits. It was a respite from the violence he saw almost daily in his job. He would need to keep his apartment in the District for practicality, but the idea of staying out here with Caitlyn, waking
up beside her in the mornings whenever he could, was tremendously appealing to him. She belonged out here with her horse stables and equine therapy program, but she could keep some things at his place in D.C., as well.

“I know once you start back to work this would be a long commute—”

“We’ll work something out. I want to be with you, Caitlyn.” He added, “But what I really want to know is whether you’re ready for the Novak family onslaught.”

Caitlyn had invited all of them out for a weekend at the stables. The snowfall would make for a breathtaking holiday setting. Ben and the girls would be staying in the spare guest rooms, while Megan and Cooper had booked a suite in town at the nearby Red Fox Inn, a historic bed-and-breakfast. Caitlyn was planning a big, family-style dinner. She’d asked Manny and Maria to come, as well.

“I can’t wait to take Isabelle and Maddie on their first horse ride,” she said, smiling. “Megan says it’s all they’ve talked about.”

He wanted to share his family with her, too. Try somehow to make up for the one she no longer had. Caitlyn and Megan had begun a friendship, and it was clear his father and nieces were wild about her already. Reid was falling more deeply in love with her each day.

“We could decorate the tree,” she suggested, looking again at the giant, bare fir. “I have some lights and ornaments from the house in Georgetown. They’re in boxes in the attic. I’ll go get them.”

She turned, but he caught her hand.

“I’m thankful for every day I have with you,” he said solemnly. “Caitlyn, we both know my health is still tentative—”

She hushed him, placing her fingers against his lips. “Dr. Isrelsen believes your prognosis is excellent. He says the tumor is responding extremely well to the treatment. It’s going away. Everything’s going to be okay, Reid. I can feel it in my heart.”

He embraced her and she settled her head against his shoulder. There was no certainty about what tomorrow might bring. No one truly had that. He thought of his parents and his mother’s illness that had separated them. He also thought of David and Julianne Hunter. But he and Caitlyn had right now. The headaches were gone. He felt healthy and whole.

“We don’t have to decorate the tree this very minute, do we?”

She looked up at him. “Did you have something else in mind?”

“Maybe dinner.” He slowly kissed her mouth and then murmured, “Maybe something else.”

“I like how you think.”

Reid closed his eyes and breathed in the fresh, clean scent of her hair. Having her in his arms felt right. Being here for
her
felt right, too. Tragedy and unspeakable violence had caused their lives to intersect once again, but this time he wasn’t going to let her go. He wasn’t going to walk away. She was the one good thing that had come from all this. Fat, white flakes were now falling
outside and Reid counted his blessings as they drifted past the picture window.

They belonged together.