Mid Life Love (34 page)

J
onathan

My life had fallen apart and I couldn’t catch a
break: First, Claire broke up with me—out of
nowhere
, and begged me to
leave her alone, forcing me to take a two week vacation to Los Cabos so I
wouldn’t run after her.

Then, as soon as I returned to the states, as soon
as I walked into the HR department and started to help them with their
restructuring plan, I learned that she’d put in a two weeks’ notice.

I thought about showing up to her farewell
party—backing her into a corner and forcing her to admit that she wasn’t
serious about leaving me, but I stayed in my office instead.

As the weeks passed, I thought she would call or
text me—to at least say “Congratulations on the IPO being official,” or “I’m
still willing to be your date to the ball” but she didn’t. She didn’t say
anything, and I showed up to my IPO ball as the only executive without a date
on his arm.

“John? Man, are you there?” Corey cleared his
throat. “Hello? Hello!”

“Yes?”

“I have the pictures from last week.” He slid them
across my desk. “How much longer do you need me to do this?”

“Until I figure out what the fuck happened...” I
opened the folder and thumbed through the photos: Claire was shopping, having
drinks with Sandra and Helen, cheering on the twins at their cheerleading
competitions, and sitting on the beach with my charm necklace around her
neck—staring off into the distance.

“She’s cruising down to Florida next week. She and
her friends are taking a short ride to the Virgin Islands and then they’ll be
flying back.”

What?
“She’s getting
on
a plane
?”

“There’s a ticket in her name so I assume that’s
what’s going to happen...”

“When was the ticket purchased?”

“Last Friday. She, Helen, and Sandra went to the
airport to get them instead of buying them online for some strange reason. That
reminds me, she’s been going to some type of phobia therapy at a private clinic
every Tuesday and Thursday. I’ve verified that the sessions are three hours
long and they’re one-on-one, but there’s doctor-patient privacy so I can’t tell
you exactly what it’s for.”

I know what it’s for...
“Thank you very much, Corey. I’ll um...I won’t need you to do this for too much
longer.”

“Take all the time you need.” He gave me a half
smile. “It’s not a hassle at all.” He patted my shoulder and walked out of my
office.

I still couldn’t figure out how the hell me and
Claire went from making love one night to breaking up the next day. It didn’t
make any sense, and I’d tried to think of every hypothetical scenario possible:
She’d met someone else her age or older, someone had said something to
her—making her feel bad about our relationship, or she woke up and decided that
she really didn’t want me anymore.

Yet, none of those scenarios added up: From the
pictures, her life was the same—I just wasn’t in it anymore. She’d never
mentioned anyone saying anything to her and I’d checked her phone records over
and over. There were a few stray numbers here or there, but the conversations
were always a minute or less so I figured they were probably quick
conversations with her associates. And that last scenario, the most hurtful
one, didn’t make much sense either—not when she’d almost said “I love you too”
right after I said “I love you” the night before we broke up.

I tossed the pictures into the trash and called the
IT department. “Could you please send me those phone records again? Could you
expand the field from one month ago to three months ago please? Yes...That’d be
fine...Yes, that would be the week of my birthday...Thank you very much.”

J
onathan

“Mr. Statham? Mr. Statham?” My therapist tapped her
notebook.

“Yes?”

“Did you hear what your mother just said?”

“No.”

“She said she’s starting to remember some of the
past now. Are you ready to sit over here with us so we can discuss that?”

I stood by my floor to ceiling windows and sighed.
“Miss Tate, can we please reschedule this session? I apologize, but I can’t
give you my undivided attention today.”

“Not a problem...I’ll have my secretary call Angela in
the morning.”

“Thank you.” I heard her gathering her things and
walking out the door. I felt a small hand on my shoulder and turned to see my
mother looking up at me.

“Are you alright?” She tilted her head to the side.
“I’ve never seen you like this...You’ve been moping around for weeks.”

“No. I am not alright.”

“What happened?”

“I—”

“Mr. Statham?” Angela stepped into my office. “I’m
sorry to interrupt, but you promised that I could go home early since it’s my
birthday and...Well, it’s one o’ clock and you haven’t mentioned—”

“I’m
so sorry
, Angela. I completely forgot.”
I walked over to my desk and pulled out a drawer. I lifted a red gift bag up
and handed it to her. “Happy Birthday, I really appreciate everything you do. I
told HR that you’ll still need to be paid, but you don’t have to come back
until Monday. Enjoy the rest of the week off.”

“
What
? Thank you! Thank you very much! I’ll
make sure a temp will be here for you before I go...Oh, and Mrs. Statham,” she
said as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a new
s
Phone. “This
came in for you yesterday. I had them give you a new number again.”

“Oh! Well, I finally figured everything out dear. I
don’t need any more
s
Phones. I’ll just keep the number I have.”

“Good, because I think seven numbers is enough.” She
laughed. “I’ll see you next Wednesday, Mr. Statham. Thank you again.”

“You’re welcome.” I took my place at the window
again and sighed.

My mom put her hand on my shoulder. “Are you going
to tell me what happened now?”

“Claire left me...”

“
What
?” She gasped. “When was this?”

“The day after we all had dinner together...”

“Did she say
why
?”

“Not really.”

She patted me on the back. “I’m so sorry to hear
that...Have you tried calling her?”

I didn’t answer. I wanted to call her every day—to
ask if she was still out of her damn mind, but I promised to let her go so I
left it alone.

“I’ll take that as a no then,” she said, sighing.
“Things happen for a reason, son. Maybe you should date someone your own age
next. You had to know it wasn’t going to last a long time with an older
woman...She probably had an agenda that you didn’t even know about...”

I moved her hand off my shoulder and glared at her.
“Thank you, mother. This is
really
helping.”

“Oh come on! I know you liked her a lot but—”

“But
what
?”

“Nothing...Just take it from another older woman:
These May-December romances aren’t long-term material. I mean, I liked Claire
from the moment I met her. I thought she was beautiful, charming, and hell—I
would’ve never guessed that she was
forty
, but that fact remains. At the
end of the day, you two are better off apart. You just don’t know it yet... Would
you like to eat lunch with me today? We can talk about this for as long as you
need to...”

“Sure. But I don’t feel like leaving my office.
Could you get that new Italian restaurant’s menu from Angela before she leaves?
We’ll order in.”

“Of course.” She stood on her toes and kissed me on
the cheek. She patted my back one more time and headed for the door.

As soon as I heard the doorknob turn, something in
me snapped and I spun around. “Wait, mom. One second...”

“What is it? You want Chinese instead?”

“How did you know Claire’s first name the day I
introduced you two?”

I didn’t know why I’d never caught that before. I’d
been playing our breakup and the preceding weeks in my head every day. I was
sure it was nothing, but I needed to make sure.

“What are you talking about?”

I walked over. “The day I introduced you to
her...Angela said
Miss Gracen
over the intercom and you asked me who she
was referring to. I said
my girlfriend
, but before I could tell you her
first name was Claire, you reached out and said it first. How was that
possible?”

“I don’t know. I guess you mentioned her to me
before and I happened to remember, so—”

“No. I
didn’t
.” I noticed that she was
shifting her weight from foot to foot. “I never mentioned Claire to you by
name. Ever.”

“Maybe you thought you didn’t, but you—”

“I didn’t. Answer me.”

She didn’t say anything. She just stared at me.

“
Answer
.
the
.
question
.”

“Calm down, Jonathan...I think you’re confusing
yourself because you’re hurt and angry right now; you shouldn’t be taking this
out on me. I’m going to get that menu so we can—”

“
Stop
.” I placed my hands over the door,
blocking her escape. I looked directly into her eyes and then I saw it—that
look of guilt, that look she always got whenever she didn’t want to admit to
something.

I narrowed my eyes. “What the fuck did you do?”

“Watch how you talk to me! I’m your
mother
!
You can’t just—”

“What. The. Fuck. Did. You. Do?”

“Nothing...Can you please move so I can get the menu?”

“No.”

She shook her head and walked past me, taking a seat
on the couch. She patted the seat next to her, but I stood still by the door.

“I met her at my gift shop a couple months ago...She
bought those sea hooks you got for your birthday from me.”

“
And
?”

“And
nothing
...I didn’t put two and two
together until we were in your office that day and I remembered that her name was
Claire
...Is that not okay? Does that make me a bad person?”

I blinked. I was about to drop the subject, but then
something else hit me. “Why did Angela say you had seven phones with seven
different numbers? You’ve been calling me from the same number since you got
out of rehab...”

Her face suddenly turned red and she gasped. “No
reason, I—”

“Tell me the truth.”

“It’s not what you—”

“Stop bullshitting me! You said something to her
didn’t you?”
I should’ve caught this a long time ago...Why didn’t I see this?

“I—”

“I will lock both of us in this room until you start
talking.”

She sighed. “I just told her that she was wrong for
dating you...that someone her age should know better...And ever since that day I
saw her in your office, I told her that she was wrong every chance I got...”

“I want the details.”

“Please don’t make me—”

“
Now
.”

She swallowed. “At first I was just calling her...and
then I...” She stopped every few sentences, telling me how she called Claire
every day and left threatening voicemails, how she sent her mean emails with
photo shopped pictures, how she asked Angela to get her a new phone with a new
number every Monday so the calls wouldn’t be traced to her own phone.

“And me and Vanessa—”

“
Vanessa
was in on this too?” I balled my
fists.

She nodded. “She was the one who told me that Claire
was only after you for your money so...We hired a private investigator to dig up
some dirt on her past and I used it against her...I even hired an investigator in
Pittsburgh to follow her ex-husband and his new wife around so I could throw
that in her face...I thought she was using you...I thought—”

“Did I ever
ask
what you thought? Did I ever
say, Mother, tell me what you think about Claire?”

“No...”

“
No
? Are you sure?” I wasn’t going to hold
back anymore. “Or is that something else you
don’t remember
?”

She began to cry.

“Do you want to know why the answer is
no
?
It’s because it doesn’t fucking matter what you think and it never will. I
don’t need—”

“I was only trying to protect you! I didn’t know
that —”

“There are a lot of things you
don’t know
, a
lot of shit you can’t seem to remember lately. But since we’re sharing stories
now, let me help you out. Let me tell you exactly why what you think will
never
matter to me: You were never there when I needed you to be. Ever. You
let me, a fucking kid, take care of a toddler while you and my father were out
doing god knows what. You showed up high to everything I had at school—you were
so fucking high you made me drive the car to the store when I was
eight
!
But you don’t remember that do you? You don’t remember how you never did shit
for us—how we had to
beg
you to come back with food, or how you left us
in a trailer that damn near killed us. You still have yet to even
apologize
for that because you don’t want to own up to being the horrible fucking mother
that you are. ”

“I was on drugs! I’ve apologized over and over and
you just keep dragging this out because—”

“Get out.”

“Please just lis—”

“
Get
.
Out
.” I pulled the door open and
walked over to my desk. I was done with her.

Sobbing, she slid her purse strap over her shoulder
and headed for the door. She twisted the doorknob and slowly pulled it open.

“Wait.” I sighed.

She looked back with tears in her eyes. “Yes?”

I glared at her, tempted to say “I never want to hear
from you again. Stay the hell out of my life,” but I couldn’t bring myself to
do it. 

As furious as I was with her, I was now even angrier
with Claire. She didn’t even
think
to tell me about everything that had
gone on; she’d simply used my mom’s behavior as an excuse to take the easy way
out.

“Take a seat.”

“No...” She wiped her face and sniffled. “I don’t care
how mad you are at me, you’re not going to treat me like—”

“SIT DOWN,
mother
.”

She moved away from the door and walked over to my
desk, plopping down on a seat. 

I took a deep breath. “You and I are going to talk,
without
our therapist. You’re going to be completely honest with me and I’m going to be
completely honest with you. Once we’re done talking, if nothing good comes of
it, we’re going to go our separate ways...I want you to know that I’ll
always
take
care of you and give you whatever you need, but we don’t have to pretend like
this relationship is something worth salvaging if it’s really not. Can you—”

“I want to be a part of your life regardless of this
conversation. I don’t think it’s fair for you to write me off like I’m some
type of—”

“Was what you did to Claire fair to
me
?”

“No...” She sighed. “And I’m sorry, but I—”

“I said ‘
if
’ this isn’t something worth
salvaging, so you better be completely honest with me. Are you willing to do
that?”

“Yes...”

“Good. Give me one second and we’ll start.” I picked
up my phone and called executive affairs. “Milton, get me the proper paperwork
to impeach a member of the board. I want it within an hour and I’ll be
exercising clause seventeen to make the impeachment effective immediately.”