Mid Life Love (30 page)

He wrapped his
arms around me and kissed my forehead. He held me until I stopped trembling,
until I was able to say sentences without sobs breaking them up.

“Do you know
what the airline gives you when your family member dies in a plane crash?” I
felt him wiping more of my tears away.

He shook his
head.

“Nothing...”

“There wasn’t a
lawsuit?”

“There was...” I
sighed. “But it didn’t bring her back so it doesn’t matter...Does it make me a
bad mother when I say I
hate
that my daughters want to be pilots? I
absolutely
hate it
.”

“No...” He
smoothed my hair. “Do they know about your sister?”

“They know she
died in a plane crash...They don’t know it was my fault.”

“It wasn’t your
fault. You didn’t know it was going to crash.”

“Says the man
who
saved
his sister from a burning trailer...It was definitely my fault
and I—”

“It wasn’t your
fault, Claire.” He pulled me close to his chest. “You can’t blame yourself for
everything that goes wrong in life...What was your sister’s name?”

“Caroline...Caroline
Ashley Gracen.”

“That’s a really
pretty name...” He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and kissed my cheek.

I wanted to say
more, to tell him how Caroline actually hated her name, but I shut my eyes and
gave in to the much needed sleep. 

C
laire

“Your dancing is
getting better.” Jonathan smiled as he twirled me around the yacht’s dance
floor.

“Yours is still
questionable.”

“It’s because I
have a terrible teacher.” He laughed and pulled me into his arms. “Are you
still on the fence about being my date to the IPO ball?”

I nodded. I knew
he wanted me to go with him; he’d been making that fact very clear all week.
Yet, it was still a while away and I was nervous about making our relationship
public.

It seemed like
we were the only people at corporate who’d been taking advantage of the
invisible fraternization policy, and I knew my coworkers would have something
negative to say about it.

“I’ll give you
until the end of the week to say yes.” He dipped me low to the ground. “I’m not
going with anyone else.”

“You could
always go
alone
...”

He rolled his
eyes and pulled me back up. “Let me know when you want Greg to take you
shopping for a dress.” He brushed a stray hair away from my face. “I always
take an employee as a date to the company’s social functions. No one will
suspect anything.”

“So, you won’t
touch or kiss me while we’re at the party?”

“I can’t promise
that.” He tilted my chin up and brushed his lips against mine. “You know I
don’t care who’s watching.” He traced my lips with his tongue and parted my
mouth open, but then he stopped.

“Where is
the
pool
?” “He said he had a pool.” “Maybe he lied about it to get us to come.”
“How are we supposed to brag to the rest of the squad about being on a luxury
yacht that doesn’t have a
pool
?”

He laughed and
stepped back as Ashley and Caroline rounded the corner, staring at us.

Ashley breathed
one of her most dramatic sighs. “You told us that there was a pool,
Jonathan
.
We brought our bikinis and our cameras, but there’s no pool.”

“I’ll show you
where it is.” He grabbed my hand and motioned for them to follow us. He led us
up two stairwells and inside a massive room with walls that were covered in
frosted glass. He hit the lights and then he pulled on a small lever—making the
hundreds of dark gray panels on the floor slide open to reveal a clear blue
pool.

“Ugh! How did he
expect us to find this?” Caroline shook her head.

She and Ashley
immediately tossed off their towels and slid into the pool, laughing about the
many ways they planned on making their friends jealous.

“Would you like
to finish your dance lesson now?” he whispered.

“I can’t use the
pool?”

“There’s another
one downstairs...” He slipped his arm around my waist. “You can use it after
we’re finished.”

“Dancing?”

“You can call it
whatever you want...”

––––––––

I
couldn’t get
into Girls’ Night...Not tonight.

All I could
think about was Jonathan—him kissing me, him holding me, and him making love to
me.

Ever since he’d
said “I’ll do better,” he’d taken things to another level: He came over on the
weeknights and hung out with me and my daughters—crushing me at Monopoly,
helping them with their model planes, and even cooking for us sometimes. On the
weekends, he treated us to full days at sea, bringing along a chef team that
prepared whatever we wanted. He insisted on picking me up for work in the
mornings, and he’d even managed to get me to eat lunch with him every
afternoon.

The flowers he
had delivered on a daily basis now included small chocolates and sweet little
notes that made me blush. And the sex between us—though it’d always been
amazingly mind-blowing, was becoming way more passionate and intense. 

Tonight, he was
away at some conference in L.A. and I was missing him—
truly
missing him,
and I was too scared to acknowledge the exact reasoning behind that.

“Some men really
need to take a class on the proper way to please a woman.” Helen set down her
glass. “It’s so sad when they don’t know how. These last few men have forced me
to invest in a brand new vibrator. I’m thinking about starting my own website
and giving free pointers.”

I sighed. “Do
you keep track of how many men you’ve been with, or is that completely
pointless now?”

“I stopped
counting at thirty.”

“
Thirty
?”

“Or was it
forty?” She shrugged. “Men do it all the time. I don’t ever want to be married,
so why not?”

“You don’t ever
want to settle down and—”

“Be with
one
man for the rest of my life?
No
. I’ve learned from the failure of my
parents and all my friends’ marriages. No offense.”

“None taken.”

“How’s your
cougar romance going?”

“I’m not
a
cougar
...” I shook my head. “And it’s not a romance. It’s just...dating.”

“
Exclusive
dating?” She laughed.

“Yes...Where’s
Sandra?”

“She’s not
coming—something about a last minute date with that hot doctor you set her up
with?”

“Oh! Well, good
for her. I’m glad they’re still going out.”

“She said he’s
an
animal
in bed. I can’t believe you passed him up! Then again...” She
smiled. “Never mind.”

I set my drink down.
“What happens when me and Jonathan don’t work out?”

“
What
?”

I decided to
finally lay my pent-up insecurities on the table. I’d been holding them in for
far too long and I wouldn’t dare tell Jonathan. It would just make him become
even more wonderful and make me seem insane for even questioning this.

“You know we’re
not going to last, Helen,” I said. “It’d never work. Everything that attracted
him to me was superficial...Once those things wear off and he realizes that he
could have someone half my age with half the baggage, it’ll be over...Then what
happens? Do I date someone my age because dating a younger man in the first
place is a bad idea? Do I date again at all? Or do I become like you and simply
have sex with random men whenever I’m lonely?”

“Are you
deliberately
trying to kill my buzz or is this something—”

“I’m serious...I
can’t talk to anyone else about this. There are some days when I honestly feel
insecure about the whole thing.”

“Everyone feels
insecure from time to time.” Helen sighed. “It’s normal.”

“But this is
different. I don’t know how to deal with his—”

“Listen to me,
Claire. Just stop. You think too much—
wayyy
too much. You know what you
should do right now?”

“What?”

“Text him and
tell him that you miss him.”

“Huh?”

“Tell him that
you miss him.”

“I don’t miss
him.” I lied. “I saw him a few days ago. Besides, he’s at some conference in
L.A.”

She rolled her
eyes. “You don’t have to have all the answers right now. If you two work out,
great. If not,
great
. Take it as a learning experience. You don’t have
to have a happily ever after with every guy you date. Just date, and for now be
honest with yourself. You miss him.”

I tossed back a
drink and decided to take her advice. I texted him.
“I miss you...”

My phone
vibrated immediately.
“Where are you?”

“At a bar with
Helen.”

“Which bar?”

“Blackbird.”

“Stay there. I’m
on my way to get you.”

“I thought you
were in L.A?”

“I am. It’s only
a one hour flight (don’t worry) back to San Fran. I’ll see you soon.”

“Was that so
hard to do?” Helen downed her gin and tonic. “Now, order me a new drink—an
extremely stiff one. Your depressing psycho-babble completely wore off the
effects of my last one. I didn’t even feel it burn.”

We both laughed
and filled each other in on what had happened over the past few months: She’d
officially been named “The Lawyer of the Year,” and had experienced “the
sensations of a lifetime” with one of the other nominees when she’d gone to
Vegas.

I was telling
her about me and Jonathan’s most recent date when I felt my heart speeding up
and fluttering against my chest, when I felt my body letting me know that he
was somewhere nearby.

I turned around
to look for him and saw him standing right behind me. 

“Good evening,
Claire.” He grinned. “Hello, Helen.”

“Well, that’s my
cue.” Helen smiled at us both. “I’ll see you two—”

“Are you okay to
drive yourself back?” he asked.

“Oh, I’m not
driving. I’m going to call a cab.”

He shook his
head. “I’ll have my driver take you home.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

We walked
outside where his town car was waiting and Jonathan helped her inside. “Have a
good night, Helen. I’ll see you again soon I’m sure.” He shut the door and
waited for the car to drive off.

“Come on.” He
clasped my hand and walked me two blocks down, into a private parking garage.

We took the
elevator up to the third level and walked over to his car. I was about to head
over to the passenger side, but he pushed me against the car and wrapped his
arms around my waist, kissing me until I was out of breath.

“I missed you
too...” he whispered as he continued to make love to my lips. “Where do you want
to go?”

“What do you
mean? I—”

He tenderly bit
my bottom lip to each syllable. “Where. Do. You. Want. To. Go?”

“Your place?”

“That’s forty
minutes away...” He moved his kisses down to my collarbone. “Pick somewhere
else.”

“My place?”

“Thirty minutes
away...”

“A hotel?”

“Which one?”

“The Ritz
Carlton around the corner?”

“Good choice.”

J
onathan

“
Ahhhhh
...” Claire reached up and grabbed
fistfuls of my hair.

I bent down and
kissed her neck, thrusting myself deeper and deeper inside of her. “You’re all
I can think about...I can’t concentrate on anything but you...” I breathed heavily.
I caressed her breasts and briefly covered her mouth with mine, reveling in the
feel of her soft lips. “Tell me you feel the same way...”

“I...I...” Her hands
moved from my head to my back, and she dug her nails into my bare skin. She
tried to slow the tempo by grabbing onto my waist, but I pinned her arms above
her head.

I took one of
her nipples into my mouth, teasingly biting it as I sped up my thrusts. “
Tell
me
.” I bit down on it harder. “Tell me right now...” 

“I...
Yes
...
Yes
...”
She shut her eyes and her body writhed underneath mine, climaxing at the exact
same second as me. She shook for several seconds, and I let myself slowly fall
on top of her.

We lay entwined
for what felt like forever—gazing into each other’s eyes, smiling every few
seconds, laughing at nothing at all.

After we’d
checked out of the Ritz Carlton this morning, I’d decided to give her a tour of
another one of my yachts—one of the ones I hadn’t sailed in a while. The tour
only lasted two minutes though; we never made it past the bedroom.

“Am I hurting
you?” I felt her trying to move her shoulder.

“A little.” She
laughed and I rolled off of her.

I pulled her
into my arms so we were face to face and sighed. “What are you thinking about
now?”

“Nothing...”

“Your eyes give
you away all the time.” I smiled. “That’s how I know when you’re lying to me.”

“I can talk to
you about anything, right?”

“Of course you
can.” I kissed her. “I don’t want any boundaries between us.”

She nodded and
lay there silently, not saying another word. 

“That wasn’t a
question that led into another question?” I tried to read her eyes.

She laughed.
“Not really...I just wanted to know.”

“Hmmm. Would you
mind going to dinner with me and my mom next weekend?”

“You two are on
good terms now?” She raised her eyebrow.

“I don’t know...I
walked out on our last therapy session, so I wouldn’t necessarily say
good
terms...”

“You don’t think
you can have dinner without arguing with her?”

Not unless
you’re there...
“I
would just feel more comfortable if you came with me. That’s all.”

She smiled and
moved closer to me. “Okay. I’ll come.”

––––––––

“I
f you fuck
this dinner up, I will
never
forgive you.” I drove my car into the
turnaround and looked over at my mother. “Do you understand me?”

“What are you
talking about, Jonathan? And watch how you talk to me. I’m still your
mother
...
How can I possibly mess up a dinner?”

“You’ve messed
up everything else in my life. I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”

She looked hurt.
“You’re never going to forgive me for the past are you? Are you ever going to
get over it?”

I didn’t answer
her. I waited for the valet to walk up to my window and handed him the keys.
“Let’s go.”

The last few
therapy sessions we’d had were nothing like the ones we had before; they were
brutal
.
I’d walked out on her three times because I refused to buy into her “I don’t
really remember that happening” bullshit. I felt like she was copping out and
not being completely honest. The only reason I even agreed to a dinner with her
was because the therapist said we needed to try something new.

In fact, I
almost called the dinner off until Claire encouraged me to go through with it.
She thought I needed to give my mother a second chance since this was the
longest she’d ever been clean.

I walked over to
my mother’s side and helped her out of the car. I linked her arm in mine and
walked inside the restaurant.

“Mr. Statham,”
the hostess said, “your other guest has already arrived. Shall I take you to
the table first or to the gallery room?”

“The table.”

“Right this
way.” She led us onto an elevator and up to the top level. She walked us past a
packed room of patrons and into an empty room with one table in the center of
the floor.

My eyes quickly
veered towards Claire. She was standing near the windows in a dark gray gown
that perfectly accentuated her sexy curves. She must have heard us enter,
because she immediately turned around and smiled at me.

I walked over to
the table and pulled out her chair. “You look stunning tonight.” I kissed the
nape of her neck.

“Thank you...” 
She sat down.

“I agree.” My
mother nodded as I pulled out her chair next. “You’re a vision, sweetheart.”

“Thank you very
much, Mrs. Statham.”

A waiter came
over and cleared his throat. “Good evening ladies, Mr. Statham. Would you like
to start off with our signature wine for the night, or would like to order
something more unique?”

“My date and I
will be having the signature wine.
Mrs. Statham
,” I said as I looked at
my mother, “will be having your best
juice
.” I caught her rolling her
eyes.

“Very well sir.”
He sauntered off.

I was about to
strike up a conversation, but a different waiter came over and set down our
drinks—just that quickly. He politely went over the chef’s menu for the night
and made suggestions, practically ordering the food for us.

When he walked
away, I cleared my throat. “How was your day today, mother?”

“It was pretty
good...They let me run the shop by myself. They’re going to let me choose the new
treatments for the windows tomorrow. I already know what kind I want to get.”

“What type is
that?” Claire asked.

“Woven bamboo
shades. One of our customers told me that they would make the place look more
authentic, so I think I’m going to take the advice.”

“Yellow or
brown?” Claire raised her eyebrow.

“Brown.” My
mother sipped her juice. “The walls in the shop are all painted in earth tones
so it’ll match better.”

I put my arm
around Claire’s shoulders. “I guess I need to start paying attention to those
HGTV shows...”

“That makes two
of us.” My mother shook her head. “So Claire, what do you do at Statham
Industries?”

“I’m a marketing
director. I oversee the slogans and artwork for promotional campaigns.”

“Did you do any
work for the
s
Phone blue? Those commercials are beyond beautiful.”

I smiled. “She
did.” I listened as my mother talked about her inability to work anything my
company produced, as she and Claire talked about their favorite books; I’d
somehow forgotten that my mother was a huge literature fan before she got
hooked on drugs.

The waiters
discreetly refilled our glasses and brought out the courses one by one.

I was in the
middle of tasting the chef’s mushroom risotto when I noticed Claire scrolling
away on her phone. “Who are you texting?”

“Ashley and
Caroline...I swear they think every time I go out is an opportunity to borrow my
car...I’m just going to give in and buy them separate cars for their birthday.
They
do
deserve it...”

“I’ll help you
pick the cars out.” I squeezed her hand.
And I’ll buy them...

“You have
daughters?” My mother smiled. She seemed like she was actually trying to make
this dinner go smoothly. “How old are they?”

“They’re
sixteen...”

“Wow,
twins
?
I have a friend in my therapy group with twins. She swears they’re a handful,
but I think it’s because they’re fraternal. A boy and a girl going through
puberty at the same time? That’s got to be rough.”

We all laughed.

The hostess from
downstairs walked over to our table. “Excuse me,” she said. “I don’t mean to
interrupt your dinner, but the gallery room is only going to be open for one
more hour. Would you like to take a tour now? In keeping with the artist’s
vision, the women start on one side of the gallery and the men start on the
other. It enhances the experience.”

“I’d love to.”
My mother stood up. “What about you, Claire?”

“Yeah, it sounds
great. I’ll come right after I finish my dessert.” She smiled.

“Do you want me
to wait for you?”

“No, you don’t have
to.” Claire shook her head. “I’ll be down in five minutes max.”

My mom looked at
me with a glance that said “I’m really trying here...” and I smiled at her. I was
shocked at how well she’d behaved herself tonight; I didn’t think things could
have gone any better.

As the hostess
escorted my mom downstairs, I looked over at Claire. “Thank you so much for
coming, tonight. It really means a lot to me.”

“You’re more
than welcome. I think you two are going to be okay in the long run.”

“Let’s hope so.
Hurry up and finish your dessert. I want us to see the gallery.”

“It’s not like
we can see it together. The hostess just said—”

“I don’t give a
damn about what
enhances the experience
...” I brought her head close to
mine and whispered in her ear. “Part of the exhibit is a pitch black room and
I’m going to
experience
that with you.”

––––––––

I
moved Claire’s
dress back over her shoulders and gave her one last kiss. We walked through the
rest of the exhibit hand in hand—leaning on one another, discussing what we did
and didn’t like.

Once we reached
the last piece, a huge plastic “X” covered in polka dots and graffiti, I
spotted my mother by the doors. 

She walked over
and reached for Claire’s hand. “It was a pleasure getting to know you better
tonight, honey. Maybe next week we could all do it again?”

Claire shook her
hand and nodded. “Definitely. That’d be great.”

“Greg is going
to take me home, Jonathan. I texted him while we were eating dinner. I figured
you and Claire may want to spend more time together tonight.”

Who is this
woman and where the hell is my real mother?

“Thank you.” I
gave her a hug and whispered, “Thank you so much. I’m sorry for what I said
earlier in the car.” I let her go and watched her walk outside to the town car.

As soon as the
car pulled off, I pulled Claire into my arms and kissed her like my life
depended on it—holding her body tightly against mine, slipping my tongue deeper
into her mouth each time she moaned. “Come home with me tonight.”