Michael (5 page)

Before she uttered the words, I knew exactly what she was going to say. She was going to be her regular apologetic “if it’s okay with you” self when she told me her intentions of skipping out on the remainder of our family vacation. I wasn’t going to have it. If she was going to leave, I wanted her to come out and say it, I wanted her to stand her ground and not take no for an answer. Not that I would tell her no. This was the opportunity she’d been waiting on for years, hell if I were going to be anything but there for her, even though I hated the idea of her leaving me.

Abhishek Roshan had been fully vetted by our people. He was a business man, an entrepreneur with family money and a notable member of the Anglo-Indian Canadian community. He was no longer of my concern as Krishna exited the shower at five that morning asking if we could talk.

“What’s up?” I attempted to sound casual.

“Abhishek leaves this evening. I really wanted to meet Amita. He’s flying straight into Toronto and told me he could make arrangements for me to stay in his home there.”

“He leaves tonight and you’re what? Asking my permission to hightail it out of the country with a man you don’t really know?” I pressed her.

“I’m not asking your permission, Michael. I wanted to let you know that I wanted to do this for me; I wanted to do one thing for me for once. I won’t be gone long.” She sat down taking a throw pillow onto her lap, pulling it against herself. So damn bold in the bedroom but she often cowered in discussions. I hated that. I knew it was the way she was raised, the way her father and mother communicated but I didn’t like it. I didn’t like feeling like she was afraid of me, though I knew she wasn’t.

“What isn’t long? A week?”

“Maybe two weeks. You tell me.”

“What does that even mean, Krishna?

“I don’t know. You tell me since you have such a great concept of time, Michael.” She stood and proceeded to dig through her dresser. She was being bold and I had to resist the urge to pull her to me and have my way with her yet again.

“So this is about my rehab.”

“This isn’t about you!” Her face flushed. “Stop making everything about Michael. Use this time to spend with your children. I need to do this.” She pleaded, rubbing the nape of her neck.

She was right. Krishna gave up her teaching career to raise our children, to be a stay at home wife and mother. She did everything for me and never asked or anything in return. And Scott money was never enough nor will it ever be enough to satisfy Krishna because it was never about my money. It was about the emotional and physical connection we had from day one and her personal mission to be everything I had needed her to be.

“You should go.” I conceded. “You’ve had questions about your birth family for a really long time, you should go.” I sat on the bed staring at her beautiful blue eyes. I hoped that she would get all the answers she needed and be okay when she returned; whenever she returned.

“Michael.” She sat on my lap taming my hair which was at its longest in months. “Thank you for being okay with this. There’s so much I need to know. I need to know about my mother and who my father is. And I really want to get to know Abi.”

“I’m glad you’re getting that opportunity.” I kissed her shoulder and rested my head against it.

“Come on.” She pulled away from me and slid into her bikini bottoms, shorts and a bikini top. She grabbed a t-shirt and draped it around her neck before sliding on her sandals. I looked at her questionably and she just pulled my hand. I managed to grab my shirt before being dragged from the room.

We left the house and walked down to the beach. It was early so the weather, though warm, hadn’t reached its peak of the high nineties for the day. Krish sat in the sand pulling me down beside her. She looked at me and smiled. I wanted her to forgive me for all my wrong doing, for my issues with Alex and the drugs and for not being myself with her for the last few years. That was a tall order.

I scooted behind her pulling her bare back against my bare chest. Her dark hair blew in the light breeze as we looked out over the water.

“This is forever, Michael.”

“I know.”

“I don’t think you understand what that means though.” She pressed her body harder against me and I could feel it heave as she took a deep breath. “Our vows are sacred. No matter what things we regret saying and doing to one another, it doesn’t change the fact that we vowed to be there for each other through it all.”

“I know.”

“And we have to be honest with each other. And we have to be each other’s first line of defense. You have to trust me. You have to trust that I am a woman and that I have thick skin and will bounce back from our troubles. It’s marriage, it’s not going to always be a walk in the park. Do you trust that I get that?” She turned her body enough to look into my eyes. I wanted to own up to everything but it seemed so pointless now.

“I get it.” I broke the eye contact and looked at the waves beating quietly against the shore. “I kissed Alexandria.”

“I know.”

“I’m not talking about the first time. I kissed her again on her wedding day.” I waited for the ball to drop.

“I know.” She replied calmly. She laid her head against my chest and I felt the dampness of a tear roll down to my stomach.

“You knew and you didn’t say anything?” That made me feel like more of a piece of shit than I had already been feeling.

“I can’t understand your connection with her. I’ve tried. I kept wondering,
if I am your wife and you love me fully and completely than what is it that you feel for her that is greater than your complete love for me
.”

“Nothing. I loved Alex. She was an important part of my life, my first love. I was holding onto that in hopes of it being enough to rid her of her own demons. She had it rough and she left me and chose to deal with it on her own. That isn’t my fault. And it sure as hell wasn’t my mess to clean up. I know that now.” I stroked the hair from Krish’s face to catch a glimpse of her eyes.

“I’m glad you get that. I never wanted you to have to tell me that you kissed her again. I wanted to keep that in the dark because I couldn’t understand it. But I think I get it now.” I watched as her hand moved up my arm and down my chest. She pushed me back against the sand and tugged at my lips with her teeth.

“Don’t start this out here.”

“Why not?” She smirked, her eyes red from silently crying.

“We’ll get caught.” I looked back at the house as Krishna undid the button and zipper of my shorts.

“Shhhh.” She bit her lip and stood above me dropping her own shorts to the ground. I hastily pulled mine down and settled back into the sand. She sat down, straddling me and I pulled the strings of her bikini loose watching it fall away. She tossed the bottoms aside and rubbed herself against me. I had already hit the point of no return before she adjusted herself and took all of me into her at once. She settled on me as the sky began to light with the growing sun.

On the empty beach, against the background of the rising sun, I made love to my best friend and it was a struggle not to come immediately from the havoc she a wreaked on my heart.

The phone rang three times on the other end before his voice clicked on with a mellow “Hello.”

“Come back to Toronto with me.” I said cheerfully hoping that Charlie would put his life on hold for me again and hightail it out of the country.

“Mrs. Scott, you can’t keep doing this to me. I can’t push pause every time you need a sidekick.” He laughed.

“Please, Charlie.” I begged. “Don’t you want to know how this all plays out?”

“Yes I do, Krishna. But I have work and a life.”

“Fine. It’s okay. It’s last minute and I don’t know how long it’ll take. You’re right. But tell me I can call you as soon as I have answers.”

“Always. Listen, I have a meeting to get to. When are you leaving?”

“Actually, in a couple of hours. My flight’s tonight.” I said feeling the sting of leaving my family behind.

“Okay. I’ll try to touch base with you before then. Be safe.”

“I will. And Charlie, thanks for all of this, thanks for finding my brother.” I said solemnly.

“Nothing I wouldn’t do for you. Safe travels.” He ended the call.

By the time six o’clock had rolled around I was sure that I was going to change my mind. I had hugged the kids a million times and Michael and I had been inseparable since the morning we had on the beach. I tried my hardest to rein in my emotions and convince myself that I was going to Canada for all the right reasons. And I was. The years I had gone without even knowing my true heritage was reason enough to meet Amita.

I was in no way trying to replace my parents, they were great parents. My dad was African and my mother was French Canadian and yet, I fit as their child. My mother was my best friend and we connected on a level most mothers and daughters didn’t.

I pulled my hair back into a ponytail before zippering my suitcase and double checking my purse for my passport, credit cards and cash. I threw in my phone charger and Kindle and zippered it before hauling that and my suitcase downstairs. Everyone was in the yard including Abhishek, so I joined them for a brief round of good-byes. Michael’s eyes landed on me the second I stepped onto the deck and my heart broke immediately. I wanted to change my mind, I wanted to go to him and curl up on his lap and ask him to come with me but I reminded myself that this trip was for me. Instead I walked towards my husband and he stood raking his hair back and smiling. I couldn’t stand how undeniably gorgeous he was in nothing but his swim trunks and sunglasses. I immediately embraced him and he didn’t hesitate to pull me tightly against him.

“This is going to be hard.” He whispered.

“Which part, the diaper changing or the missing me?” I asked looking up at the man who easily exceeded six feet.

“Both. But mostly the being without you part. I thought that I was coming home to you and you leave two days after I come in. I don’t know how to do this.”

“Well, you’re going to have to figure this out. You have a company to run and children to rear. You’ll hardly realize that I’m gone. I promise.” I smiled and pecked his lips.

“Call me every night?” He pecked me back.

“I’ll try.”

“Send me pictures?” He poked his bottom lip out.

“Yes.”

“Are you sure you two don’t want the plane?”

“Yes Michael. I can survive first class.” I laughed.

“Okay. I love you, Krishna Scott.”

“I love you, Michael Scott.” He pinched my bottom before enveloping me in a kiss. I was glad that my bags were packed else I would have been persuaded to stay in that very second. I pulled away from him to see we had an audience and I was sure that I was blushing from head to toe as Michael grabbed my hand and walked me to the car with Abi.

“Take care of her.” He said to Abi who was standing outside the open driver’s side door looking over the roof of his rented Audi.

“She’s my sister. I’ll have a constant eye on her. I’m staying in Canada for as long as she needs to be there. Business can wait.” Abi smiled.

“See.” I whispered to Michael as I embraced him a final time. “I’ll be fine.”

“I know.” He mumbled back and pulled away. “Be safe, call me when you land.”

I ducked into the car and fastened my belt watching Michael stand there hands in pocket. He gave Abi a nod and then we were off towards the airport.

“He’s a little overprotective of you, isn’t he?” Abi asked with a laugh.

“He’s like that with all the women in his life. He was the only child of a single mother; it’s just how he was raised.”

“Only child? I thought he was Liam’s brother.”

“You’re obviously blind if you can’t see the genetic differences.” I laughed.

“Michael seriously looks like a tanner darker haired version of Liam. They look identical otherwise.” He rebutted.

“Really?” I tried to picture the two side by side but I couldn’t see the similarities outside of their crooked smiles.

“Really! You might know them too well to see it. So what’s their story?”

“Michael and Liam and Leah, who
are
twins by the way, have the same father. Michael went to live with them when he was a teenager, his mother died and he wanted to know Michael Scott Sr. so he made that decision on his own to go there and become a part of that family. It’s a crazy hectic story. But long story short, they’re best of friends. And both are very protective.”

“They all seem like a great bunch.”

“They are. They have been great to me. I love having a big family.” I smiled thinking about how far we’ve come.

“And your kids are beautiful. That little Lincoln is quite a handful.”

“She really took to you. Which is great, I hope you’ll get to spend more time with them.”

“Uncle Abi. Never thought I’d see the day.” He smiled, almost to himself.

“What was it like for you growing up?” I wanted to know what I had missed and a part of me felt like I was betraying my parents for feeling that way.

“Well, my father was pretty affluent. I had his expectations to meet left and right. My parents were very strict and pushed me to excel in school. I didn’t have much of a childhood.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah, it did. But looking back, I’m grateful for it. I get to play a lot now because my father worked so hard and pushed me to work hard too.” He glanced at me but quickly took his eyes back to the road. “What about you? What do you do? I mean I assume that with a husband with that name that you don’t have to work.”

“That’s an accurate assumption. I was a teacher before I met Michael. My mother was a teacher and I wanted to be one too. I loved it but with three young children, I don’t know where I would even find the energy to work a full time job. I do help organize a lot of charity events for our company but other than that, not much.” I thought about how easy life had been being able to be a full time mother. It wasn’t an option afforded to most women.

“That’s pretty cool. I mean, I’d hope to find a woman willing to make that sacrifice for the sake of our kids. She wouldn’t have to but it’d be pretty nice.”

“So who is the woman you bought to dinner last night? Not a girlfriend?”

“No, no. no. She’s just a friend who lives in the city. We try to get together whenever I’m in town, which isn’t too often.”

“She’s pretty.” I commented.

“Gorgeous. But I doubt she’d ever let me cross that line.”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s the forever single, business type of woman. Strong willed, no children ever type of woman. I love her to death and think she’s amazing and brilliant but it’d never happen. We both know what we want and it isn’t each other.” He let out a cackle as if he tried to picture himself with her.

“To each their own, I guess.” I laughed with him. We made brief eye contact.

“I’m glad we found each other, sis.” He smiled. “It’s been a lonely life I’ve been living.”

“I’m glad too, Abi.” I looked his way and watched a tear roll down his cheek. I knew there was more to him but I didn’t feel like now was the time to ask. So instead I patted his hand and watched the buildings pass by as we hit the halfway mark on our way to the airport.

***

I settled into my seat and watched people file down the aisles and into their seats.

“Mam,” a voice spoke from behind. Is that seat next to you occupied? I asked for a window seat and they were sold out last minute.” He said.

“It is, maybe you should have—” I turned in my seat. “Maybe you should have told me to snag one for you.”

Charlie stood, as did I. I wrapped my arms around him. It was a unique feeling being connected to another man, a man other than Michael. Even in the platonic sense, it was weird. There were clear boundaries to the relationship I had with Charlie but I couldn’t help but to feel comforted by his presence.  Comforted to have a friend I knew wasn’t going to disappear.

“Happy to see me?” He asked sliding back into his seat.

“Absolutely!” I looked around the cabin for Abi. “I’m surprised, but happy.”

“I felt guilty for saying no. I know what all of this has meant to you I knew it was important for me to be with you to see it through.” He smiled. The look in his eyes always put me on edge. I knew that having a friendship with a straight single man was a touchy idea. And I knew that it was possible that Charlie had feelings for me that I would never be able to reciprocate.

Charlie and I met at a fundraiser for a youth community center a month after Michael had entered rehab. He had garnered so much support and funds for the center and had impressed me further when I found out he was the contractor that had won the bid for the project. After a few conversations and hiring him to remodel the kitchen I found myself asking him out for coffee. Coffee led to dinner and dinner led to movies on the couch and talking about life. And then he told me he could help me find Amita and he did.

Abi strolled into the first class cabin with a glass of wine in his hand. He locked eyes with me before letting his gaze wander to Charlie. Charlie stood stretching out his hand to Abi.

“Charlie Jenner, you must be Abi.”

“Abhishek Roshan, it’s nice to meet you.” Abi took his hand briefly.

“Likewise and I hope you don’t mind me tagging along.”

“The more the merrier.” Abi slid into his window seat and glanced up at me.

I ignored the brotherly glare as I settled into my seat. I knew what he was thinking.