Michael (4 page)

It was a shock to walk into the house, after spending the day in the city, to find Krishna laughing on the couch with a strange man. I leaned against the entry way watching them converse completely ignorant of my presence. I cleared my throat.

“Oh hey!” Krishna said with unexpected elation.

“Hey.” I stepped into the room as the man stood.

“Abi Roshan.” He reached out a hand. I glanced at Krishna in bewilderment before setting my eyes back on the stranger. I took his hand.

“Michael Scott, Krishna’s husband. And you are?” Apparently he was just as bewildered, as if I should have known who he was and what he was doing sitting in my house with my wife.

“Michael,” Krishna explained, “this is my biologically brother.” She smiled joyfully, her blue eye lighting up as she looked at him.

“Interesting.” I said crossing my arms across my chest. I looked at the two of them, the resemblance was there but I was taken aback by the fact that my wife told me nothing of this man’s existence. I turned and left the room. I didn’t know what more she wanted me to say to her or to him for that matter.

I went upstairs to our bedroom and sat my shopping bags down unpacking one at a time. I knew things were bad between us, I knew I had a ton of making up to do but this was bigger than our issues. Krishna talked about finding her birth family for years, it was important to her and she finds her brother and doesn’t tell me.

I messed up my marriage a long time ago and my biggest wonder now was whether or not I’d be able to repair all of the damage.

***

“Hey.” Krishna’s hand was under my shirt stroking my back. I had drifted off after getting home. I had been frustrated with her and with myself. I rolled over.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Abi?”

“I wanted to.”

“But you didn’t, why?”

“Because I wanted things to pan out first before I got my hopes up. I had no idea that he was going to show up here today.”

“You look happy.”

“I am. Our mother has asked to see me. I’m just anxious to get answers.” She stood and slid out of her jeans, letting them drop to the floor. I watched her tie her hair up into a neat bun and come out of everything she was wearing. She pulled a bikini from the dresser and quietly dressed in it. “Are you coming to the beach?” She slid on beach shorts and threw a towel over her shoulder.

“Yeah. Give me a few.” Picking her sunglasses up from the dresser, she nodded and left me alone in our room.

By the time I had showered and thrown on my trunks and made it to where everyone was on the beach thirty minutes had passed. I was mentally exhausted and in no way good company for my kids or the rest of the gang including Abi who I didn’t know had decided to stick around.

I took a seat next to my brother as we watched our wives, sister, niece and Alex swarm him. In all honesty he was a good looking guy. Liam had concluded that we were “old news” and that the women would be all over Abi while they had the chance.

“He says he’s trying to convince Krish to fly back to Canada with him.” Liam laughed. His eyebrows sprung up waiting to get a rise out of me.

“I mean really, Liam. Who the hell is this guy?” I laughed. “He shows up out of nowhere for me to find him talking to my wife in our home and now he wants her to fly to Canada to see their mother.”

“Are you jealous?”

“No. Why would I be jealous? It’s her brother. At least that’s who he says he is. I would like to look into him.”

“I’m already on it.” Liam laughed. “Called my guy the second he introduced himself.”

“And that is why you are my brother.”

“Not really why but I get the sentiment.” Liam laughed again. “I’m going to go pull my wife away from Mr. Roshan before I catch a case.”

“Are you jealous?” I mocked.

“Completely!” Liam laughed as he headed towards Jayda. He wrapped his arms around her and in seconds had drawn her away from Abi.

***

“You’ve been hanging back a lot today.” Krishna said offering her back so that I could zipper her gown.

“Contemplation has me a bit withdrawn.” I pulled the zipper up and she turned in my arms adjusting my tie.

“Well I miss the old you.”

“The old me was a jerk.” I rebutted.

“The old you was a sarcastic family man who kept me on my toes.” She pulled me to her lips by my tie and I had to resist the urge to take her dress off and take her.

“I hope your brother sticks around for a while.” I smiled devilishly.

“Oh, you think he is the reason I’m in such a great mood?”

“What else could it be?” I asked not expecting an actual answer.

“You. I’ve missed you and I’m starting to realize how much nothing else matters. You’re home now and we have to live with the past but not in it.”

I pulled my wife closer to me entwining my fingers in her hair. I looked at my watch over her shoulder and figured that five minutes was enough to at least send her over the edge. I rubbed my lips across her collarbone before letting go of her hair and kneeling before her. I allowed the silk of her dress to conceal me between her thighs as my tongue worked frantically but gently to push her limits. She complied with my advances throwing her leg over my shoulder and giving me access to every inch of her slick heat. And the heat radiated causing me to pull my tie loose before gripping her thigh and diving a little deeper. She was sweet and I shockingly had forgotten just how sweet she was. Before I knew it she was hiking her dress up and gripping my hair. She muffled her moans under her delicate hand as she came, giving me more of her with every pulse.

I stood wiping my mouth of her satisfaction. She didn’t make eye contact with me, instead she adjusted her dress and combed her fingers through her hair. Krishna wasn’t ready to forgive me and she knew it. But the fact that she allowed herself to use me meant that there was hope for me, for us. I disappeared into the bathroom and washed my face in the mirror. What had happened to me? I had changed so much.

Gone was the D.C. playboy that got his way when it came to everything. I was young, dumb and extremely talented at one point in my young adult life. I closed real estate deals in my sleep and when I started working with my brother, when life had finally began sorting itself out, I knew that I was getting everything I wanted, the way I was accustomed to doing. But like anyone else I had my limits.

“Alexandria.” I whisper her name at my reflection. I had never in my life loved a woman as completely as I had loved my mother. Not until Alex came into my life. I never planned on losing her and I still, so many years later, couldn’t figure out why I had allowed thoughts and memories of her to creep back in and consume me. But I knew now that she was my past. Krishna, without a doubt, is the love of my life. I’ve managed to distance myself mentally from our relationship in an effort to be more open to the possibility that she may not stay. I didn’t know how to let her back in and in all honesty I don’t think she cared to get back in.

“Are you coming?” Krishna called. I returned to the bedroom to watch her in the mirror running a vibrant red lipstick across her lips.

“I’m Ready.” I rolled my sleeves down, buttoning each before throwing on my blazer and grabbing my keys and wallet from the bedside table. I enjoyed these nights during vacation, when the nannies stayed back at the house with the kids and the adults all went out for dinner and drinks in the city.

And of course I was thrilled that Abi had somehow been invited to join us. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Abhishek, he seemed genuine enough. But his sudden presence had me on edge. It could be the combination of me falling out of grace with my wife and him swooping in and altering her attitude. But I brushed off the thought as Krishna placed her hand on my lap and leaned in closer to me.

The limo held Liam and Jayda, Leah and Eric, Alex and Samuel, Mackenzie, Krishna and I. I was anxious to get to the restaurant because my niece Mackenzie looked miserable being the odd woman out. It was a long ride and I had managed to block out the conversations being had around me. It wasn’t until Mackenzie shrieked that I realized we had arrived at the restaurant and Nathan was holding open the limo door. I watched my niece embrace her husband. It was a scene as everyone paused in their tracks. He pulled her closer lifting her from the ground and spinning her. She squealed with delight as he settled her back down gently pressing his lips to her forehead.

“Looking good, Unc!” Nathan pulled me in for a hug. I admittedly had issues with him dating and then hastily marrying my niece, more because of my issues than his own. But in the end I couldn’t imagine a better man to be her husband and father to their daughter and I’m grateful that he didn’t back-off when I told him too.

We filed into the private dining room of Roselle’s and drinks came quicker than we could order. I watched as everyone else indulged in champagne, wine, and scotch. I sipped my club soda and tried to stay in the conversation. I missed Highland Park Scotch and as the $400 bottle was handed back and forth between the guys I ached for it. Maybe sobriety and vacation didn’t go so well together.

“A toast?” Liam looked to me.

“Maybe you should start things off, Brother.” I took a sip of my club soda and waited for him to stand. He nodded and refilled his scotch.

“Okay, okay—”

“Sorry I’m late.” Abi interrupted as he came through the door holding a gorgeous woman’s hand.

“No problem. Come in, come in.” Liam gestured. “We were just about to give toasts.”Abhishek and his date took seats near the center of the table. And he poured her a glass of wine before joining in on the scotch. “So, we are coming up on another year. We knew that this year, like every year before, would test us in insurmountable ways. But we’re Scott’s and Michelson’s and Curtis’s. We can be tested and tested again but we cannot be broken.” My bother looked at me. “I have my family whole again. No illness, no addiction, no amount of stress can remove from us what is inherently in our nature, to persevere. And Nathan, I know that these times have been especially troubling and especially heavy. I couldn’t imagine my brother battling what Chase is. But know that your brother is a fighter and know that you have all the resources in the world available to you. As for my brother. One step at a time, Bro. I know you have it in you.” Liam raised his glass signaling me to speak.

“Sobriety.” I shook my head. “Sobriety is a bitch.” I laughed “I want nothing more than to feel that Highland Park 30 on my tongue. But then I think about everything that I put in jeopardy when I decided that pills were the cure all. Anyway, I’m grateful to be back here with my family. I can’t describe what it’s like to be without the love and support of my wife and my children, and all of you. Rehab taught me that I had taken so much for granted and I’m trying to learn from those mistakes.” I tilted my glass shaking the ice. “So, to each of you, for the support you have given me.”

“I didn’t plan to speak tonight.” Nathan said gripping his glass and standing.. “But as always, Michael gets my gears rolling.” He looked blankly at the table before looking between Liam and I. “My brother is dying. It’s so easy to let life get in the way of living and it’s so easy to get caught up in ourselves. But my brother is dying and I’m sitting here with the most important people in the world. He told me when we talked today that he’s doing well and enjoying time with Joy and our parents. And you know I cried. He won’t let me put my life on hold as much as I want to drop everything and be by his side.” I could see Nathan was fighting back tears as he continued. “He told me that I should be living now before I forget how to. That broke my heart because we don’t know what kind of time he has left and his concern is that I am making the most of my own. I think it just goes to show you how quickly we forget those things. But I’m learning not to. Because this right here is what life is about. To family…” Nathan sat. Everyone at the table was silent. The clattering of Abi’s fork onto his plate stirred us.

“Mind if I say a few words?” Abi spoke. I sat at the head of the table and nodded for him to speak.

“Several years ago I lost my father and following that I made the decision to commit my mentally unstable mother. And for the most part I have been alone. It’s not an easy thing being alone. And then I discovered Krishna. I’ve been told about this woman’s existence for most of my life. I actually didn’t believe the rumors. I never imagined I would find her I never tried under the belief that her new family would have changed her name. But like destiny she found me. And I want to say that I am grateful to all of you for being her family and I hope to someday be in your graces where you might allow me to join this beautiful group of people.” He sat after his short speech, his eyes locking with Krishna’s and he gave her a warm smile that she quickly returned. I knew where this night would end and in no way was I ready for it.

We ended dinner a few hours later. After bidding Abi a brief farewell, Krishna hugged him and got into the limo. We headed back towards the house while I struggled to keep my eyes open once again.

I stared out of the window the entire ride home. The sky had gone from a bright orange to a majestic grey and not once had I turned to face my husband. I knew he would read it all over my face. I needed to see the woman who gave birth to me.  Needed to ask questions and I needed to build on the relationship I started forming with Abhishek. I had to go to Canada and I didn’t know how I was going to tell Michael that I hated him for leaving us yet I was ready to pack my things for a trip that could turn into something unexpected.

“You know, Abi isn’t so bad, I mean he seems like a standup guy.” Michael remarked. He slid my heels off one by one as I lay back on the bed.

“I think he’s great. He’s kind of serious but very mild-natured.” I pulled my foot from Michael’s hand and tugged his tie towards me. “I don’t want to talk about my brother. I want to talk about us.”

“Yeah?” Michael eased over me, his toned physique holding steady as his eyes made love to my soul.

“Yeah.” I nodded. Michael was a great man. He was very well put together, he took great care of himself and he worked hard. I hated that I was so mad at him for leaving me. Rolling over to a cold spot on the bed was a feeling I had almost gotten used to and that hurt. It hurt more that sex with him made me temporarily forget that he had been gone. Sex with him made me forget that he had kissed Alex in that bathroom on her wedding day.

Michael undid button after button of his shirt, straddled me and I watched in admiration of his beautiful body. I didn’t
love
sex before Michael because Michael made it an experience. It was very lustful. He screwed me and made love to me all at once.

As if he could read my thoughts, Michael pulled my head back against the bed and used his teeth to tease my neck before he peeled me from my dress and gave attention to my breast, my breast that hadn’t been worshipped since I revoked the twins’ feeding privileges months ago. I tried to hold back vocalizing my satisfaction but moan after moan escaped my lips. I ran my fingers through Michael’s midnight hair and my hand found his face. The scruff was a different look from Michael but I loved the edge it gave him. I needed to reciprocate the passion running through him but he had already pinned me to the bed; both wrists pressed hard against the bed under his one strong hand.

For a second I struggled to free myself from his grasp. It was utterly mind blowing, the man Michael became when he had power in the bed. He used his free hand to trace my lips before allowing his finger to ease into my mouth. I gave it a pulling suck before letting him navigate to my heat. It pounded for him. I could already feel my wetness building up and I already had the urge to release as his finger dove inside of me. My body pulled beneath him. I didn’t want to come for him. I wanted to take that power way from him and I didn’t know why.

I managed to free my wrist, pulling them from beneath his hands leaving them stinging with pleasure. His attention went back to tugging my nipples and simultaneously massaging my heat. I wanted him badly but I wanted the control in this. For the last few months he dictated my life. He dictated my happiness and I wasn’t going to let him dictate my orgasm again.

“Get off.” I pushed him away. I saw on his face that he was taken aback. But before the bewilderment crept in too much I pushed him onto his back and straddled him. A smile crept onto his face before I grabbed his necktie and force his head down against the pillow. I scraped my nails down the front of his body and landed at his belt. I made quick work of it, single handedly undoing his pants. I released my hold on the neck tie allowing my husband to take a full breath. I stood backing away from the bed and grabbing his pants at the ankle.

“What’s gotten into you?” Michael asked, sitting up and reaching for my wrist. I pulled away and watched as he stroked himself, unwillingly to lose his readiness.

“Why can’t I show eagerness without there being something wrong with me?”

“You can, I just haven’t seen this side of you in a while. Come here.” Again he reached for me with his free hand. I was becoming engrossed with the sight of him stroking himself. I took the three steps to close the gap between us and knelt before my husband.

Michael was my best friend. Michael was the first man I ever fell in love with. He was the man I would have bought home to my father had he been alive to meet him. But Michael was also my kryptonite, my Achilles heel. I took over for him; gripping his soft skin with one hand and his bare thigh with the other; pressing my nails into his thigh.
Beautiful Michael Cruz
I thought as my eyes connected with his while my mouth simultaneously connected with his ripeness. And just like that Michael’s power was mine; I was
his
kryptonite,
his
Achilles heel, and I liked it.

I allowed myself to taste every inch of him before deciding that I wanted to share in his pleasure. My lips took to his as I stood at the edge of the bed bringing myself to straddle him. He pulled my lips in closer as I allowed him to settle inside of me.

“Mike.” I moaned. He gripped me harder slamming me onto him over and over again.

“Say it again.” He whispered in my ear while pulling my hair back; exposing my neck.

“Say what?” I held out.

“Call me that again.” He demanded.

“Mike.” I called out as he picked up the rhythm. But before I could utter another word I was face down on the bed, flat on my stomach with his forearm against my back. I knew how to turn him all the way on and calling him a name he hated was the way to take him from zero to one thousand in a second. My left arm twisted as Michael pinned it behind my back driving himself into me for what felt like the first time in months. Because what he called sex on the night of his arrival made me, in the end, feel as cheap as Alexandria on her wedding night.

I wasn’t Michael’s whore and I wasn’t his scorned ex. I was his wife but that night, for those few minutes as he drove into me over and over again I felt cheap. And again I remembered the burden that came with relinquishing my power to him.

His hand came around and gripped my neck as he settled deep inside me. He released my arm and twisted my face to meet his.

“I love you.” He said against my lips. I tried but for the life of me I couldn’t stop the tears begging to pour over. He pulled out and allowed me room to roll over beneath him. I couldn’t take a breath before he was again nuzzled inside of me driving me to the finish line.

“Michael.” I called out as my body bucked beneath his. “Michael.” I clenched around him staring into the dark eyes of the man I was going to have to learn to forgive. There was no doubt in my mind that Michael made his mistakes and was now ready to be my husband and be our children’s father. I just wondered how he’d handled the news that I was going with Abi to Canada in the morning.