Mia's Heart (The Paradise Diaries) (13 page)

Epic.
Fail.

I
blush.

“See
something you like?” he asks, one eyebrow raised.

I
blush again.

“I
don’t know what you mean,” I stammer.

He
chuckles.  “Wrong answer, tiny tot.  You’re supposed to give me a
verbal lashing.  That’s what you did the last time I caught you checking
out my merchandise.”

My
mouth drops open. 

“Your
merchandise?  Are you selling something now?”

Quinn
winks.  “That depends on who is buying.”

And
he saunters out. 

Yes,
saunters.  There is no other word to describe the casual, cocky way that
he moves through life.  OhMyGod. 

My
fingers are practically shaking as I pick up my phone and text Gavin.  I
don’t know why I’m shaking, either.  I have no idea why I let Quinn affect
me like he does.  It’s like my hormones are instantly nervous whenever he
is near.  I wonder if his are affected the same way?  I shake my head
and focus on my phone.

Wanna
go diving?

I
text this to Gavin. And then I add a smiley face. 

There
is an answer in less than ten seconds. 

My,
aren’t we happy today?  And of course, Mi.  The answer to that is
always yes.

I
shove my phone in my pocket and sigh. So, apparently, I don’t usually use
emoticons.  I should make a list of all the things I don’t normally
do.  But then again, that would negate my new theory that I’m going to
rediscover myself.  So I shelve that idea.

My
phone buzzes in my pocket, so I pull it back out.

BTW,
you always wear a bikini to dive. A skimpy one. 

I
laugh out loud.  And I’m still laughing when I hear a voice behind
me. 

“Good
morning, sweet one.”

I
turn to find Marionette gliding into the kitchen.  She bends and hugs me
and I am truly happy to see her.

“Good
morning,” I answer as I return her hug.  “Do you happen to know… do I have
a car here?”

She
smiles. “You do have a car.  But it isn’t here.  And honestly, I
don’t know if it was damaged in the quake.  But Darius would be happy to
take you anywhere you need to go.”

“Thank
you,” I smile at her. 

“He’s
out in the barn, I think,” she tells me before she grabs a loaded breakfast
tray, presumably for my mother. 

The
thought that my mother is up and around puts a spring into my step.  I
pack a bag with a one-piece swimsuit and duck out before I can accidentally
bump into her.  I’m guessing that my mother isn’t a morning person,
either. 

But
that’s just a guess. 

I
do find Darius in the barn and he is happy to give me a ride, just as
Marionette said he would be. He chats casually during the ride into town. The
farm truck is bumpy and jostling, but I don’t mind.  He drops me off at
the pier and as I am standing there, I realize something. 

I
didn’t bring any equipment. 

I’m
an idiot. 

And
I’m still standing there like an idiot when Gavin finds me. 

“Did
you bring your bikini?” he asks with a grin.  I roll my eyes. 

“I’m
pretty sure that I don’t even own one,” I tell him. “But that was a valiant
effort.”

He
laughs.  “You know I’m going to take every advantage of this amnesia
thing.  Just be forewarned.”

“Noted,”
I answer back.  It is absolutely impossible to not be happy around
Gavin.  And that is the truth.

“Where’s
your stuff?” he asks, glancing down and only seeing my one little bag.

I
wince at my own idiocy.

“I
was in a hurry to duck out before I ran into my mom, so I forgot it,” I admit
sheepishly.  Gavin throws his head back and laughs. 

“Hmm. 
Just like old times,” he says with another chuckle.  “Mia’s hiding from
her mom again.  Maybe it’s best if we just swim today, anyway.  You
can get your sea legs back under you.”

I
nod because that’s probably a good idea.

He
leads me onto a pristine little boat named
The Shining.
  It’s
immaculate even though many of the surrounding boats have clearly been damaged
in the quake.  I look at Gavin questioningly. 

“We
were out on the water when it hit,” he told me.  “You, me and Quinn. 
So there was nothing for my boat to get damaged with.”

Oh. 
This was something I didn’t know.  I was with Gavin and Quinn at the same
time?  I wonder how that came to pass?  But I don’t ask. 
Instead, I take a seat and enjoy the fragrant sea breeze that blows through my
hair as Gavin steers through the bay. The sunlight skims the surface of the
water and breaks apart into a million prisms of light.  It’s gorgeous and
I sigh happily while I breathe in the salty air. 

“You
love it out here,” he calls to me when we are on open water.  “You always
have and I know you always will.  We’ve been doing this since we were
small.”

“Always
together?” I ask curiously.  He nods. 

“Always.”

Hmm. 
I never know now when he is messing with me, but I look at his face and he is
distracted by driving and doesn’t seem to be kidding.  So, Gavin and I are
together a lot.  That would make sense since he knows me so well.

He
kills the motor after a while and the boat floats.  Everything is quiet
around us except for the water lapping against the fiberglass hull.  It’s
soothing.  I lean back in my seat and allow the sun to wash over my
face.  I decide that I’m never going to shore.  So I tell Gavin
that. 

He
laughs.

“You
should’ve mentioned that beforehand and I would’ve brought some food. 
You’re kind of bitchy when you don’t eat.”

I
open one eye.

“Isn’t
everyone?”

He
laughs again.  “Not like you.  You once almost ripped my finger off
for stealing your candy bar.  I thought you were going to punch me in the
throat.”

I
giggle.  It doesn’t sound like me. But what do I know?

“You
probably shouldn’t mess with a girl’s chocolate,” I advise him.  He
smiles. 

“Yeah,
I know that now, thanks to you. Now, do you want to swim?”

Gavin
looks at me.  I eye the water. I know it must be deep out here. Really,
really deep. 

“I’m
not sure if I remember how,” I admit to him.  “And I still need to change
into my suit.”

Gavin’s
eyes start to sparkle.  And that’s a dangerous sign.  I have
re-discovered that already. 

“That’s
no problem,” he tells me.  “I’ll turn my back and you can change. 
And then we’ll get into the water together.  You can wear a life-jacket.”

I
narrow my eyes.  “No peeking.”

He
holds his hands up innocently.  “I would never.  Okay, maybe I
would.  But I promise that I won’t
today.”

He
laughs impishly.  And I know, deep down, that I wouldn’t be overly mad if
he did peek.  What does that make me?   What kind of girl am I,
anyway?   

I
grab my bag and yank my suit out.  True to his word, Gavin turns his back.
Although, I do catch him trying to steal a glance in the chrome reflection of
the boat trim. I laugh in spite of myself.  I have never shoved my clothes
off of my body as fast as I do right now. Well, I don’t think I ever have
anyway.  I yank my suit up and slide my arms into the arm straps.

“Done!”
I announce. 

Gavin
turns around, his gaze flickers down and then back up.  I can’t read the
expression in his eyes very well, but I’m guessing he is disappointed that
there really is no bikini. He doesn’t show it, though.  Instead, he grabs
a bright orange lifejacket and tosses it to me. 

“Put
this on.”

So
I do.  

And
then I peer over the edge of the boat.  The water is brilliant blue and fairly
clear. 

“Are
there sharks?” I ask. 

Gavin
rolls his eyes.  “When in the history of your life, have you ever worried
about sharks?”  He pauses.  “Oh, right.  You don’t
remember.  Sorry.  You don’t worry about sharks because you know that
you have a greater chance of dying in an airplane crash than you do of getting
eaten by a shark.  The chances are slim to none.”

For
some reason, that doesn’t make me feel much better. 

But
it might be because the sea is so vast and I am so unsure about my swimming
skills. 

Gavin
looks at me and grabs my hand. 

“Mia,
I would never let anything happen to you.  You are a very strong
swimmer.  All you have to do is trust your instincts.  And you have a
life jacket on.  You’ll be fine.”

I
nod and Gavin counts. 

On
three, we jump over the side.

Chapter Twelve

I
feel panicked for a second as the water closes in over my head.  I plunge
into the sea and for a brief minute before my lifejacket thrusts me back up, I
do panic.  I kick hard and flail.  But then the buoyancy of the
orange vest sends me bobbing back to the surface.

I
sputter as my head breaks through the water.  And then I gulp in a huge
mouthful of air.  Gavin is still holding my hand and he shakes the water
from his hair as he treads water next to me. 

“You
okay?” he asks in concern.  I nod. 

“Yep. 
I just wasn’t expecting it to be so cold.”

He
looks at me strangely.  “You really don’t remember anything at all, do
you?”

I
shake my head.  “Nope.”

I
release his hand and kick away from the boat.  I love the weightless
feeling that I have right now, even though I’m secretly worried that sharks are
going to notice my legs kicking and come up and bite one off.  I’m kind of
fond of my legs. I’d prefer to keep them.

There’s
nothing out here, not for miles and miles.  I scan the horizon and only
see blue.  I feel freer than I’ve felt since I woke up.  I tell Gavin
that and he smiles.

“That’s
why you love it out here so much,” he confides.  “You’re free out here. 
No restrictions, no expectations.  Usually, we dive the old wrecks.”

At
my clueless expression, he adds, “It’s a bunch of sunken ships.  You love
it.”

For
some reason, for a minute, I get a chill.  Thinking of old sunken ships
resting against the bottom of the sea with moss and crap growing on them is
pretty creepy.  And I don’t want to swim down there. But of course I don’t
want Gavin to know that.  I don’t want to hear
But you used to love it!
even one more time.  It’s growing a little old. 

I
seem to do okay paddling, so I decide to try swimming.  I stretch my arms
out in front of me and stroke, one after the other.  Gavin calls after
me. 

“You’re
doing great!  I knew you wouldn’t forget!”

I
bury my face in the sea and allow it to wash over me.  The cool water
seems to wash everything away and I glide effortlessly through the water. 
I flip onto my back and close my eyes, basking in the sun as I float.

I
don’t know how long I bob in the water like this, but I decide that I must have
fallen asleep for a minute.  Because when I open my eyes again, I am way,
way away from the boat. 

Far.

Away.

And
Gavin is lying on the hull of the boat, asleep. I can tell from the way his arm
is thrown up over his head and his eyes are closed. 

I
flip over and suddenly, I’m terrified. 

I’m
panicky.

The
sea is so very vast. 

And
I’m so very alone.

I
scream.  I can’t help it.  And as I do, I accidentally gulp in a huge
mouthful of water.  Everything that follows is a blur. 

I
start coughing and flailing my arms and even though I’m wearing a life-jacket,
I’m thrashing around like a lunatic.  I hear the boat motor start up and
then I feel the wake of the boat as it crests up to me.  Gavin is next to
me and before I know it, he’s hauling me over the side of The
Shining. 

I’m
in his lap, on the floor of the boat and he is holding me and I am shaking.

OhMyGod.

I’m
such an idiot. 

I’m
such an idiot.

And
I must be repeating it out loud, even though I don’t mean to, because Gavin is
telling me, “No, you’re not.”

But
I am. 

I
really am.

“I
don’t know why I got so afraid,” I tell him.  “I think I had a panic
attack.”  My voice sounds pathetic and I hate it.

Gavin
tightens his grip on me, his strong arms are wrapped around me and I suddenly
realize that his skin is pressed against mine and it feels really, really
good.  I push into him harder and clutch him to me.