Mia Like Crazy (24 page)

With measured steps, he walked over to me, took me in his arms and stared into my eyes for a few brief seconds. Then, he kissed me so gently it made me ache all over. The passion of this afternoon was gone, but in its place was a sweetness I’d never experienced.

My body and soul had ached for him for so long, I couldn’t wait for him to make the next move. I grasped the bottom of his silky T-shirt in both hands and began pulling it up, and he helped me remove it. However, he had to leave me long enough to hang it neatly over the chair on top of my dress.

I thought about the symbolism of that only for a second until he returned to me. Then, just as I had fantasized a hundred times, I placed my hands on his stomach, sliding them slowly over his abs, up the smooth skin of his chest. He sucked in a sharp breath and grabbed my wrists.

Again, he was fighting his impulses. But I was on fire. I wanted so badly to push him over the edge and make him throw himself on top of me like he did that night in the car. But I didn’t dare give him a reason to call the whole thing off.

Drew scooped me up in his arms as effortlessly as he did the day he’d brought me from the hotel. He managed to take my shoes off and place them on his dresser before laying me gently on his bed.

The sheets were cool against my overheated skin. I shut my eyes and enjoyed the sensation. The anticipation.

When I opened them, he was naked, with his back to me, laying his pants on the same chair.

As he turned toward me, my body tensed at the sight of his slim, yet well-defined physique. I wondered how he was able to stay in such great shape when all I ever saw him do was cook and eat.

In the candlelight, he looked too perfect to be real—tall and lean and obviously aroused. I was relieved. After so much time together, I finally had some visible proof he found me attractive.

My heart skipped a couple of beats as he walked over to the bed. I made room for him and he stretched out beside me. Treating me as if I were a fragile treasure, he put his arms around me, kissing me tenderly on the mouth.

When my eyes remained closed afterward, he lightly kissed each of my lids. I opened them, and saw his gaze move from my face all the way down my body.

The suspense was killing me. After caressing my palm with his fingertips, he pulled my hand toward his face. Planting an open-mouthed kiss on my wrist, he continued up my arm, paying special attention to the crease on the inside of my elbow. When his tongue pressed into the indention there, a tremble slithered up my arm and into my chest.

He bent over me and touched his tongue to the base of my neck, trailing it down through the valley between my breasts. The touch felt so intimate after so many months of deprivation. A flurry of desire intensified inside me. I needed him to lower his body onto mine, press me into his mattress and take me hard and fast.

I moaned, wishing I could take control, but knowing I might ruin everything if I did.

Tentatively, I placed my hands on Drew’s back and pressed my fingers into the firm muscles I found there. His skin was so warm to my touch, I couldn’t wait to feel it on every inch of me.

When he reached behind me, I lifted myself enough to allow him to unclasp my bra. Sliding the straps down one at a time, he removed it and laid it on the bed next to me.

As he gazed at my breasts, I watched his face take on the dazed, passionate look I’d seen earlier that day, when we’d kissed, but he shut his eyes and took in another deep breath.

My love-starved body cried out for more, faster. I couldn’t hold my tongue any longer.

“Some impulses are good, Drew,” I whispered.

The look he gave me was unreadable, as he lowered his head and tasted my breasts, his tongue gradually encircling one nipple then the other.

Electricity jolted through me, from the tip of my breast to the desperately needy spot between my thighs. I moaned again and tried to control my own impulses.

I wanted to beg him to take me. I wanted to tell him I needed to feel him inside me. I wanted to convince him he wouldn’t hurt me. But all I did was sigh as he kissed me and touched me, ever so slowly.

His mouth moved downward again. Its wet warmth traveled over my stomach, and when it reached a point just below my navel, I thought I’d die from the excitement. I gasped and thrust my hips toward him.

Obviously pleased with my response, he smiled and hooked the index finger of each hand into the sides of my panties, pulling them down inch by inch. As he did, he dropped kisses on every place they passed over. When I felt his tongue glide over the inside of my thigh, I thought I would go wild.

“Please, Drew,” I begged.

He laid my panties neatly on the bed next to my bra and stretched out over me, holding himself up with his elbows. I grabbed his head and pulled him down to me.

When his mouth reached mine, I attacked him with my deepest, wettest kiss, while my hands slid down his sides and squeezed his tight, round bottom.

He jerked and went rigid as he let out a groan that seemed to come from the darkest depths of his soul. It reminded me of how starved he must have been for human contact all this time.

He quickly removed my hands from his body and placed them, palms up, on either side of my head. He was panting raggedly as he laced his fingers through mine, holding them captive, but I was sure I had almost caused him to lose control.

With my hands trapped, he’d neutralized the threat, this time, but now I knew it could be done.

Next time.

I spread my legs in invitation. He kissed me deeply, as he entered me, ever so slowly. It was hot, mind-boggling torture.

My body yearned for him and I couldn’t stand another second without feeling him buried inside me. I wrapped my legs around his hips and lifted myself off the bed to pull him in. The pleasure jolt was ecstasy for me.

But as he slid inside me, Drew’s moan was so harsh it sounded like a cry of pain.

I stilled. Could he be so deprived of human contact that this intimacy was too much for him?

His face was buried in my neck, his hot breath panting onto my skin.

Although still convinced he was fighting for control over something, I began to wonder if it was an impulse to take me too roughly, or an impulse to pull himself away from me and never return.

Relief flooded through my body as he began to move inside me. Still holding my hands captive, he rose up on his elbows again, and looked into my eyes. Aware only of his body inside mine, I felt him moving slowly at first and, gradually, a little faster. Sensations shot throughout me like tactile flashes of lightening.

My eyes fell closed. “Oh…
oh…
” I could hear myself murmuring as his rhythm grew faster. Then, he stopped.

Imprisoned by his body and my need for it, I lay still with my eyes closed for a few seconds, waiting for the superb stimulation to begin again.

“Mia?” I became aware of his voice through the haze of desire that had clouded my mind. “Mia, open your eyes,” he said. “I don’t want to be alone.”

Tears sprang into my eyes as I complied with his request. I was transfixed by his intense gaze.

He began thrusting into me again. Liquid slid down my temples while I maintained the eye contact Drew needed so badly.

I sighed his name over and over again, so he’d know I wanted him and him alone. So he’d know I was there with him, body and soul.

He kissed me again, his tongue pressing against mine in slow, deep thrusts.

I could sense a climax building and wanted to go wild and scrape my fingernails down his back and feel his flesh in my hands again, but he didn’t allow it. As his movements accelerated, his grip tightened on my hands, and my thighs squeezed his hips in response. His eyes fell closed. Then, his face was in my hair.

“
Mia…
” He whispered my name into my ear so sweetly, I thought my heart would break. As he thrust into me more deeply, the waves of pleasure began washing over me. I shuddered beneath him as my climax intensified.

There was another soul-shattering groan from Drew and he was still.

I lay there in his bed, relishing the feel of his weight on me. I had no idea what to say or do after an experience like the one I’d just had, since nothing in my life had even come close to it.

Still, a part of me wished he had been able to completely let go of himself, as he’d almost done those other times before. I felt as though he’d given me a lot more pleasure than I’d given back, but there was always next time.

At least now Drew would realize we had enjoyed ourselves and nothing terrible had happened—no angry father, no cops beating him up—only the two of us, together and happy.

When he moved off me, I complained, hating to lose such intimate contact with him. But I made do by caressing his stomach, his chest, his arms. It was allowed, now that he didn’t have to worry about those pesky impulses.

I looked into his face and his eyes were thoughtful.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“For what?” his expression was relaxed like I’d never seen it before.

“For tonight, for everything. It was beautiful.” I tried to memorize his tender expression.

He touched my face lightly, then caressed the skin on my shoulder. “This is a great color. They should make a crayon like this.”

I laughed. He said the funniest things. “They could call it Mexi-Rican. That’s what my dad used to say because I was half Puerto Rican and half Mexican.”

“Did that bother you?”

“No, he wasn’t making fun of me. He just liked to play with words and make jokes,” I replied. “I was crazy about him. That’s why it broke my heart when he left.”

I was surprised I’d said that so bluntly, since I’d never let myself dwell on my father’s memory long enough to realize how much he’d meant to me.

“I thought he’d probably been a son-of-bitch, like my dad. Do you know why he never came back?”

“No. And I quit waiting and wondering a long time ago. I focused on the future and never looked back.”

I knew my tunnel vision might not have been such a good thing, and I was still pushing down a lot of emotions I probably should have let out. But it was the only way I knew to cope, and it had worked for me. To an extent, anyway.

“Mia?”

I loved the soft tone Drew’s voice took on when he said my name. “Hmm?”

“I’ve been trying to say it to you for months now. I’ve told you a thousand times in my head, but when I try to get it out, I get a frog in my throat and feel like I’m gonna start bawling or something.” He looked embarrassed for the first time since we’d met. “Anyway, I wanted to say it to you that second day. Remember how I tried to scare you off, because I was afraid of you, and you still showed up again the next morning? And then that night in the car, I was about to...” His voice trailed off as though he was reliving what had happened next.

I wanted him back with me in the present. “Say what, Drew?”

He looked into my eyes again and swallowed hard. He mouthed the words “I love you,” but no sound came out.

“I love you too, Drew,” I answered. “But we’re going to have to work on that little problem of yours.”

He smiled. “Only that one?”

I was thinking about what he’d said a few seconds before. “Why were you so afraid of me?”

“Because every time I looked at you, I wanted to kiss you, and when I was trying to scare you away, it was because I kept having the impulse to throw you down on the couch and have my way with you.”