Merrick (3 page)

The next day, I
couldn’t focus on a damn thing.

As always, Merrick
sent me out on a morning expedition. As always, he explained the handful of
plants I brought back. As always, I prepared my lunch and ate it quietly. As
always, he turned to his books and mixtures while I did my chores.

But this time he
kept his gloves off. I could not stop sneaking glances at those smooth
porcelain hands or remembering how they had held mine against his body the
night before. I couldn’t stop imagining that same body beneath the somber robe.
I couldn’t stop thinking of the face hidden behind that hood, wondering if it
looked as fine as it had felt.

I couldn’t forget
the way my body had reacted, twice now, to Merrick’s touch.

And all of this
was on top of my tangled thoughts about Merrick’s supposed age, his unnatural
healing skills, and the enigmatic hints of more secrets.

I was exhausted by
evening from worrying about it all. Merrick had me grinding an herb I’d already
forgotten the name of, and I suppose I was working out my frustrations through
the pestle with a bit too much fervor – for I kept having to stop and rub my
aching wrist.

“Is your wrist
ailing you, William?” Merrick asked from the table.

“Just not used to
grinding, I suppose, sir.” I adjusted my grip and continued.

Merrick rose from
the table behind me. I heard him cross the wooden floor, and I slowly stopped
moving the pestle when his arms came around me on either side. He laid his hand
over mine on the pestle, nudging my fingers slightly.

“Turn your wrist
like this.” He swiveled the pestle around once. “Don’t press so hard. There’s
enough energy in the right movement.”

“I see,” I said,
blushing as his hips brushed against me. His hand on mine was cool and firm,
its grip deft and sure.

“Finish this batch
and leave it,” he said, and stepped away to go back to his work.

I did as he said,
then put everything in its place and turned back to the table. “Is there
anything else for me to do, Master Merrick?”

“No, William. Go
and bathe.”

I took my night
shirt and did as I was told, sighing in the lean-to as I scrubbed my body with
the soft-smelling soap. Another day, no mysteries solved, and it was back to
bed.

Merrick was absent
when I went back into the cottage, and a small lamp was burning in the cavern
along with a resin I had not smelled before. I breathed in the pleasant, musky
scent and sat on the edge of the bed, brushing my damp hair from my eyes.

Behind the hide
hanging in the rear corner of the cavern, a dim light flickered. It became
brighter by the moment until the hide was pushed aside and Merrick emerged
carrying a lamp.

“What’s down
there, sir?” I asked. As soon as I said it, I felt a little surprised I’d been bold
enough to ask. I supposed the oddness of the day before hadn’t stopped me from
feeling strangely comfortable around the man.

“Perhaps I’ll show
you sometime.” Merrick set the lamp on the stone shelf at the rear of the room
and went to the resin, leaning over the smoke for a moment and then wafting it
with his sleeve. The scent was hard to place, but it was very welcoming. “Was
your mother much connected to her people, William?”

“My mother? To the
Indians? Not as much as I guess she wished. She lived all her life in the city.
She never saw her mother’s home. They often talked about it. She always wanted
to get out of the city. Said she was a child of nature. But, she didn’t know
anyone from my grandmother’s home country. That always made her sad. I guess
she knows some things, though. Some chants and charms, even herbs, funny as it
is, though she’s always afraid of being called a witch…” I left off, frowning a
bit. Why was I talking so much?

Merrick had moved
to stand before me now in his dark hooded robe, near the smoking resin. “And
your father? What kind of a man is he?”

“He’s been dead
for ages,” I said. “Since I was seven. He drowned at the docks – I don’t know
how or why. He drank a bit, though, as I recall.”

Merrick’s hooded
head dipped in acknowledgement.

I breathed in.
“What’s that scent, Master Merrick?”

“What do you think
of me, William?”

“Well,” I replied
easily, “I have to say you’re a fine gentleman, sir, a master of your trade and
a generous one, taking me in and treating me as kindly as you have. Though the
oddities are hard to ignore, I find myself more at ease than I guess I ought to
be…” Good God! My tongue was loose! Before I could think on it, I was talking
again. “I don’t believe you’re seventy-seven, that is, or if you are, you must
be a witch or a devil – I don’t know what other explanation there could be. Or
can an herb be so powerful? Maybe you’ve found the secret to eternal youth? I
wouldn’t press the matter, sir. I’m very pleased to be your apprentice.”

“Does it not
bother you, the thought of living with a devil?”

“Well, I never
thought much on that. I don’t think I ever believed in witches or devils. But
there is something afoot here, isn’t there? There’s no herb can heal like you
healed my hand, that is. And no old man as fair and fit as you.” Christ, was I
still talking? “Still, it’s clear you’re more a gentleman than any man I ever
have known before, and if I had to choose between you and any judge or
constable or blacksmith, I’d pick you right away even if you were a devil.” Was
I lightheaded? My nose was tingling, and I looked at the resin. “Master
Merrick…”

“And if witchcraft
were afoot? That would not give you cause to flee?”

“Flee?” I
exclaimed, forgetting the resin for a moment. “
Flee
? I don’t know what
you could do now to make me flee, sir, but…well, for me to run off and damn my
own mum to prison, or put myself back in prison with the rats and rapists, sir,
it would take a good deal more than witchcraft. Christ, it’d take more than
anything I can come up with! You’d have to chase me out yourself.”

Merrick laughed
under his breath.

That was strange.
But I was more concerned with my own loose tongue. “What’s in that resin, sir?”

“A special blend
to induce honesty,” Merrick said, and covered the stone dish with its lid to
extinguish it.

I stared dumbly at
the dissipating smoke. “Well, that’s a mite underhanded.” When he said nothing,
I asked, “What did you intend to find out?”

“Whether you are
sincere, and how far I can trust you.” Merrick picked up the lamp. “Goodnight,
William.”

I watched him
leave for the cellar, feeling tricked. After a minute or so, I lay back in the
darkness, frowning intently at nothing.

No.

That wasn’t fair.

I got up out of
bed and pushed back the hide in the doorway to the main room to let in some of
the lamplight, and reached over to the stone dish to lift the lid. As I
anticipated, there was still a good deal of resin inside.

Quickly, I ducked
into the kitchen and grabbed a few matches from the tin near the stove, then
returned to the bed and tucked them under my pillow. Then I lay on my back as
always. When Merrick returned, I feigned sleep.

I lie there for a
long while, unsure of how long I should wait to be sure he was asleep.

It was impossible
to tell with him. His breathing was imperceptible, and he always lay still. I
nearly lost my nerve. A couple of hours must have passed before I finally, with
painstakingly slow movements, rose from the bed with the matches in my hand.

It only took one
strike to light the resin. I cast an anxious glance back to the bed, the match
still in my hand, and froze.

In the dim,
flickering light, I could see that Merrick had removed his hood.

He was on his
back, his face turned to the wall, his ebony hair gleaming more brightly than
it seemed the feeble light should allow.

The match burned
down to my fingers, and I jumped, waving it out. The heady scent of the smoke
was filling my room, and I swallowed hard in anticipation of the moment I would
call his name and cause his head to turn towards me.

The thought,
combined with the smoke, made me lightheaded. All at once I realized what a
stupid plan this was. Clearly, I had conceived it on impulse while still under
the influence of this damned herb!

What the Hell was
I thinking? Wake up Merrick and interrogate him? Give him a reason to throw me
out after he’d been so kind? For God’s sake!

I was still
holding the stone lid in my hand, and quickly replaced it on the dish to cut
off the smoke. Standing so close over it, I felt a little woozy.

“What are you
doing, William?”

I jumped, nearly
dropping the matches as I whirled back around to face the bed. “M-master
Merrick,” I stammered. “Forgive me.”

“Am I imagining
that scent?”

My blood ran cold
as the bed creaked. He was getting up. “No, sir. But I’ve extinguished it.
Forgive me, sir. I don’t know what came over me. I had a plan to wake…to ask…”
Oh, God help me. I was running my mouth again. I’d
really
done it this
time. And how could I make excuses with the smoke still in my nose?

“I’m afraid I have
become an idiot,” I blurted. Yes. That was certainly the truth. Another point
for botany.

Merrick’s soft
laugh was not far from me. A moment later, I felt his hand on my waist. “What
were you going to ask, William?”

My mouth felt dry.
“Well, if you’re practicing witchcraft. If you’re really as old as you say you
are. What’s down in that other room, maybe. Why you requested an apprentice…” I
was silenced by his fingers. They were pressed softly to my lips.

“It’s a shame your
plan didn’t work,” he replied in his low, velvety voice.

Damn me. Damn it.
I felt it again. Damn this darkness! It confounded my senses! Desperate to
quell my body’s strange reactions, I struck one of the matches against the
stone shelf.

Merrick’s amber
eyes gazed at me with the same patient amusement I heard in his voice. His
smooth face was as handsome as a Greek sculpture. His nose was straight and
fine, his jawline strong and sharp, and his lips were more soft and sensual
than any lips I had ever seen. His black hair fell in waves about his ears,
brushing his forehead and partially covering his fine arched brows. I was
gripped by an incredible urge to reach up and brush those shining locks aside,
to run my fingers through them.

Oh, no. If I’d
meant to calm my traitorous body, well, no plan had ever backfired as badly as
this one had. “You look scarcely older than me,” I whispered stupidly.

“Yes,” he
murmured, and pursed his beautiful lips to blow out the match just as it was
about to burn my fingers. “And you have an interesting reaction to my
proximity.”

I drew a breath as
he pressed against me, against the hardness growing between my legs. “Forgive
me, sir. I do not know…”

I couldn’t speak
another word. He had gripped my hips in both hands and pulled me hard against
him.

“Is this what you
want?” He was close enough that I felt his breath on my lips.

“God forgive me,”
I whispered weakly, my head falling back in a moment of dizzy despair. I felt
his fingers graze my neck, tracing a path down my throat to where my nightshirt
parted at the neck. My sex was as hard as stone between us, and it took all my
will power not to move against him.
What is wrong with me?

“Have you been
with a man before?”

I stiffened,
startled out of my daze by the suggestion. “No, sir,” I said unsteadily, and
put my hands against his broad chest, ready to push him away and argue my case.
“On my mother’s name, I never even thought…”

He released me
slowly and stepped back. His hand smoothed my hair gently. A moment later he
said, “Rest, William.”

I stood frozen as he
returned to the bed, my entire body burning with humiliation. Not only with
humiliation…but it was too humiliating to think about what else had me burning.
That he had been kind enough to forgive my childish attempt to trick him, and
to humor my deviance, to gently decline my body’s wanton invitation, only added
to my mortification. “Forgive me, Master Merrick,” I whispered, tears pricking
my eyes.

“Rest, William,”
he said again. “And never again toy with such concoctions without my guidance.”

“I understand,
sir. It will never happen again.” So he blamed my misuse of the resin. That was
some small relief. I wished I could do the same. I lay down stiffly, miserably
praying for my body to settle down.

How I
wished
I could confidently blame the resin, or the darkness, or circulation, or any
other factor for the stirrings I kept feeling when he touched me. How I wished!

The next morning,
I half-expected to find Merrick in the kitchen without his hood. But there he
was in his chair as usual, concealed from head to toe beneath that robe,
flipping slowly through an almanac. I greeted him humbly and sat at the table
with some breakfast, trying to look unbothered. At least I never had to worry
about meeting his gaze. With his face covered, it felt okay not to look in that
specific direction.

“It’s a good day
for dandelions, William,” Merrick said as he turned the page. “Do you recall
how dandelions may be used in poultices?”

“Yes, sir. Along
with yellow dock, it can be used to soothe dry, cracked skin and other
aggravations.”

He nodded. “The
weather will cool soon, and many will begin to suffer from such ailments. I’ll
be needing them in some quantity. There’s a pasture I’m sure you’ve seen
between the curve and the creek where you should find a large number of them,
and a damp day like today is ideal for digging.”

“Yes, sir.”

I set out after
breakfast with a large basket and a long tool for digging roots. It was a
relief to get out of the cottage for awhile, and as soon as it was out of sight
I sat down on big log by the side of the path where I sometimes took a rest.

I let my head flop
back, exhaling.

Never in my life
had I reacted to a man the way I reacted to Merrick. Even before he removed his
hood and showed me his face – there was a strange flutter in my chest at the
thought – something about the man got me…

Got me…

It was too
terrible to think about. I leaned forward and dropped my face into my hands.

What the Devil was
the matter with me? I’d never been like this. In fact, having always been
called a rather handsome child, I’d been taught by my mum early on how to dodge
the kind of lustful men who always seemed to be lurking around waiting to take
advantage of a lone boy. Personally, I’d never understood the impulse. I knew a
couple of lads who dallied occasionally, and I’d perceived a few propositions
myself, but I had never been the least bit curious. Another man? Why? I was
never short on women to enjoy, and the thought of doing with a man what I did with
them had always seemed ludicrously unappealing.

What did Merrick
think? Did he really still think me innocent? God, I could only hope.

I couldn’t help
remembering the way he’d gripped me close the night before. What did he mean by
that? I was sure he had no designs on me. Certainly, if my young body was what
he was after, he would have taken it by now. I didn’t know a man alive who’d
back off at that point if he really wanted it.

No, it seemed
clear that Merrick had simply been measuring my reaction – and perhaps scolding
me a little for my silly tricks.

I got up slowly
and continued up the path. Perhaps a long morning collecting dandelions would
help me to clear my head. How absurd life had become! Back in the city, I would
have been rummaging through a book shop, looking for rarities of value,
breathing in the scent of old leather tomes as the dust glowed in the rays of
morning sunlight that came softly through the dingy windows, while outside the
noise and chatter of the city filled the air with a busy cheer. Right then,
Jeremy was probably still sprawled out in one of the rooms above his father’s
tavern, snoring in the arms of a naked girl or two.

And yet here I
was, out on a dandelion expedition…

The sound of hoof
steps ahead caught my attention, and for the first time, I found myself
crossing paths with two travelers on horseback.

They were twin
boys who looked around twelve years old. They were neater and better dressed
than the boy who came by daily on his horse, but looked just as old fashioned.
Each wore ancient-looking buckled shoes and had his hair tied back with a
ribbon. Watching them approach, I felt a wistful pang for the fashionable
sidewalks of New York City.

“Good morrow,”
they said in unison.

“Good morrow,” I
replied.

“I’m Geoffrey,”
said the one on the left.

“I’m John,” said
the other.

“I’m William,” I
said.

“Are you Doctor
Merrick’s boy?” Geoffrey asked.

I appraised him
with a cool look. “I’m his apprentice, yes.”

“We heard about
you from Joseph. He said you dress funny.”

John chimed in.
“Why are you dressed like that?”

I didn’t even have
to glance down. I was dressed in the boots and long breeches men wore these
days in the cities. They looked like they hadn’t yet heard about the end of the
Revolution. “I’m not from around here,” I said simply.

“Have you seen his
face?” John asked.

“I heard he has
fangs,” said Geoffrey.

“Is he fattening
you up?” John asked with an impish smirk.

“You better watch
out.” Geoffrey added.

I interrupted the
little brats before they could really get going. “What are you two doing out
here by yourselves?”

“We’re going to
ask for some tea for our mum.” Geoffrey said.

“Our sister’s
ill.” John added.

“Ah,” I said. I
wondered what the sister’s “illness” was. Merrick’s customers tended to decline
Joseph’s delivery services when private matters were involved. “Well, perhaps
you had better work on your manners between here and the door. Farewell.”

“Fare thee well,”
they chimed, clearly unbothered by my admonishment, and prodded their horses
on.

I left them behind
with a sigh.

In the meadow by
the stream I dug dandelion after dandelion, careful not to break the roots as I
pulled them from the soft ground and laid them in the basket. The day was damp
and moody, with fat wet clouds passing over the gentle sun every few minutes
and casting a shadow over everything.

By the time my
basket was overflowing, I had given myself a stern lecture. I was determined to
defeat my soggy mood and head back to the cottage with my back straight and my
mind fresh.

There was just no
use moping about such mishaps!

At the end of each
day, I was still just a poor book-peddling dandy who’d been stupid enough to
get caught on the wrong side of the law and was lucky enough to avoid jail or
worse.

So what if I was
now apprenticed to a witch in the backwoods? So what if I was experiencing a
bit of confusion in my loins at the moment? Things could have been much worse
and I damned well knew it.

Thick clouds had
blocked out the sun entirely by the time I started to leave the pasture. Then,
as if God wanted to challenge my determination to make the best of things,
there was a sudden flash in the sky followed by a crack of thunder. The rain
that came pouring down was monstrously heavy, and I set off back to Merrick’s
at a run.