Mental Floss: Instant Knowledge (6 page)

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Authors: Editors of Mental Floss

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THE CAN OPENER

(and the can)

USEFUL FOR:
cocktail party banter, impressing history buffs, and sparking conversation anytime you see a tin of something

KEYWORDS:
can, can opener, and which came first

THE FACT:
While the
mental_floss
staff is still working around the clock to figure out that whole chicken/egg deal, the slightly less asked can opener/can question is definitely something we can answer.

In 1810, British merchant Peter Durand patented the tin can, allowing sterilized food to be preserved more effectively. The cans were useful for ocean voyages, during which glass bottles tended to break, and soon the British Navy was dining on canned veggies and meat. So far, so good. But what Durand (and everybody else for that matter) forgot to invent was a way to
open
the cans. For 50 years, getting into your pork ’n’ beans required the use of a hammer and chisel. The can opener was patented by American inventor Ezra Warner in 1858, but even that wasn’t particularly convenient. Early openers were stationed at groceries, and clerks did the honors. It wasn’t until 1870 that the first home can openers made an appearance.

CASTRATION

(and Franz Joseph Haydn’s pretty, pretty voice)

USEFUL FOR:
chatting with choirmasters, piano teachers, and anyone who sings well

KEYWORDS:
castration, sopranos, or castrated sopranos

THE FACT:
As a kid, Haydn’s voice was so beautiful that his choirmaster tried to trick him into keeping it forever via some delicate snipping.

Franz Joseph Haydn (1732-1809) was the father of the symphony as we know it. During more than 30 years of experimentation, he came up with the form that influences composers to this day. But as a little boy, Haydn was known for something else—his beautiful soprano voice. He was the star soprano in his church choir. As he got older and his voice was about to change, his choirmaster came to him with a little proposition. If he would consent to the small operation, he could keep his beautiful soprano voice forever. Haydn readily agreed, and was just about to undergo the surgery when his father found out and put a stop to the whole thing.

CHARLES II

(England’s royal drain)

USEFUL FOR:
impressing your history teacher, slackers, and any politician who isn’t doing nearly enough

KEYWORDS:
royalty, bum, or royal bums

THE FACT:
Easily one of the most useless kings of all time, Charles II is on record as one of the laziest monarchs ever to “rule” Britain.

Some might argue that he played an important role just by showing up, because his restoration to the throne signaled a return to peace and tranquility after a bitter civil war. But once he got there Charles didn’t do much of anything. A contemporary English chronicler, Samuel Pepys, described Charles as “A lazy Prince, no Council, no money, no reputation at home or abroad.” Not the best PR. Even worse, a common saying at the time had it that Charles “never said a foolish thing, and never did a wise one.” Ironically, the highpoint of Charles’s popularity came when he survived an assassination attempt during the “Rye House Plot,” named after the place where the would-be assassins allegedly wanted to kill him. After a lifetime spent not doing things, not getting killed was Charles’s biggest accomplishment.

USEFUL FOR:
wine and cheese parties, chatting up extreme-sports enthusiasts or anyone from Wisconsin

KEYWORDS:
cheese, England, or professional sports

THE FACT:
Though it’s without a doubt one of the most absurd sports on record, the annual cheese-rolling contest at Cooper’s Hill in Gloucestershire, England, is also incredibly, incredibly dangerous.

Which isn’t actually all that surprising when you consider how the sport is played. First, a master of ceremonies gives the countdown—“One to be ready, two to be steady, three to prepare, four to be off”—and then up to 20 contestants chase a 7-pound circular block of cheese down a steep, bumpy hillside, trying to catch it before it gets to the bottom, 300 yards below. Four games are played over the course of one day, including one for women. Video footage of past events shows contestants breaking bones and splitting heads open, with spectators suffering frequent injuries as contestants lose their footing and hurl themselves into the crowds. No one is quite sure how cheese rolling started, but it’s great fun for those who have high thresholds (for watching) pain.

CHEMISTS

(specifically, the cockiest one we could find)

USEFUL FOR:
book reports, science fairs, and chatting up scientists at science fairs

KEYWORDS:
chemistry, modesty, or the periodic table

THE FACT:
While Antoine-Laurent Lavoisier was the father of modern chemistry, he certainly wasn’t the father of
modest
chemistry.

A buckshot Antoine once said, “I am young and avid for glory.” His contributions no doubt precede him, including lighting the streets of Paris and establishing the law of conservation of mass. And though he often took too much credit for the ideas of others, his own contributions have lasted (he named oxygen and hydrogen—beat that!). Like all scientists, Lavoisier ran into some funding problems, so against the advice of his friends, he took a job as farmer-general (tax collector). That was his first mistake. His second was blackballing Jean-Paul Marat from the Academy of Sciences. During the French Revolution, the combination of Lavoisier’s status as a tax collector for the government and Marat’s influence landed Lavoisier at the guillotine. He supposedly begged for a few weeks to finish his experiments. Motion denied. Lavoisier was beheaded.

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