Mending Places (23 page)

Suddenly the fury drained from her body, taking her strength from her. Her legs went limp, and she sagged toward the ground.

Keith caught her around the waist. He pivoted into the chair, supporting her weight under her arms, but she sank lifelessly to the carpet. Blessed numbness flowed through her, making her dizzy. She steadied herself with a hand on the chair. Keith’s knees jutted out inches from her face.

Hadn’t he been sitting just as she was when he proposed to her?
Oh, God!
The emotions came back, this time anguish so powerful that her breaths came in quick rasps. Her lungs pulled in a rush of oxygen, and she forced it out, then drew in another breath. It hurt. Even breathing hurt. She closed her eyes, turning inward. She didn’t want to look at him. She’d lost him, and he loved someone else.

Once again sobs raked across the achy lump in her throat. Her torso sagged as the floor dragged her downward. But Keith pulled her shoulders toward him. Her face fell against his leg. Waves of grief assaulted her, wrenching painful sobs from her body, as she lay with her head against the very one who’d betrayed her.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
 

Micah stuffed his Recovery Journal in his knapsack and straddled his cycle, shoving the helmet on. He’d had trouble keeping his mind on the meeting tonight. Instead it was filled with Hanna. Hanna sitting across the campfire, Hanna with tears shimmering on her lashes, Hanna melting into his embrace.

Hanna ignoring him for the past three days.

That’s what was bothering him the most. And the one thing he should be satisfied with. He turned the key and took off with a satisfactory squeal of tires. She’d spared him all but necessary conversation on the remainder of the climb, and today, his day off, she’d disappeared before lunch and hadn’t returned when he’d left.

Micah dismissed the fact that he’d planned to disappear himself. His plan to remain detached was not working out. Sure, they were avoiding one another, but it seemed to be bothering him more than her. Everything would’ve been fine, if only he hadn’t kissed her.

Ah, just the thought of it sent a pleasurable sensation coursing through his gut. He’d been angry that night at the way she’d spent time with Dave and Jeff. Frustrated that she was so innocent she didn’t even see it for the come-on it was. And, he admitted to himself, jealous.

He’d never felt so jealous, and they weren’t even dating. What right did he have to be so possessive? He was the one who refused to start a relationship. Who was he kidding? The relationship had already started. The feelings were there, feelings he’d wanted to avoid at all costs.
Lord,
You know I wanted to avoid all this. Why is this happening, and how can I get it to stop?

And it had to stop. Not only was a relationship wrong for him, but it would be wrong for Hanna too.
He
was wrong for Hanna. He’d been surprised at her reaction when he’d told her about his past, about all the women he’d been with. Instead of the disgust he’d expected, there’d been hurt. Her eyes had widened and teared, and her lips had trembled.

And that’s what had gotten him into trouble. Those perfect, soft lips of hers had just begged for comfort. Her reaction to the kiss, innocent and trusting, had almost been his undoing.

It was the trusting that had gotten him. She thought she knew him, thought she could trust him, but she didn’t know about his past. Didn’t know he’d committed crimes, served time in jail. And all those things paled in comparison to the one thing he could never forget. The one thing he could never excuse or forgive.

He pulled into Higher Grounds’s parking lot, relieved that Hanna’s 4×4 was gone. In his room the message light blinked on the phone, and he punched in the number and listened to Pastor Witte request a return phone call. He memorized the number, hung up, then redialed. Pastor Witte answered the phone on the second ring and thanked Micah for returning his call.

“Micah, I’m sure you’re aware that William Zimmerman asked to be removed as a deacon several weeks ago, and that last Sunday our church body voted on a replacement.”

“Yes sir, I remember.” He’d voted himself, but couldn’t imagine why Pastor Witte was calling him.

“Well, the fact is, the church voted for you to take his place, and …”

Pastor Witte continued on, but Micah lost the capacity to listen. They’d voted for
him?
There had to be some mistake.

“So, what do you think?”

“Uh, Pastor Witte, I don’t see—”

“You’re probably a bit surprised since you’re single, but, although all our current deacons are married, I don’t think there’s any reason biblically or doctrinally why an unmarried man can’t accept the position.”

He went on to list the roles of deacons in the church, a leader, a servant, but Micah’s inner voice seemed louder than his pastor’s.
You’re not worthy to be a deacon. They wouldn’t want you if they knew the truth about you.
But Pastor Witte knew; he’d told him when he’d joined the church.

“… respect you a lot, young man.”

His pause seemed to require a response. “Uh, thank you.”

“I’m sure you’ll want some time to think and pray about this important decision.”

“Yes sir.”

They said good-bye, and Micah hung up, his thoughts a dark jumble of recriminations. It wasn’t his crimes and jail time that nipped at his conscience. He’d made them right eventually, serving time for most of them, and even going as far as to repay those he’d stolen from. His conscience was clear when it came to that.

But there was one crime he’d never paid for. His gut tightened with remorse.

Micah expelled a heavy breath and got up to find something to eat. The gurgling in his stomach had given way to shaky hands, and if he didn’t eat something soon, he’d turn into a major grouch. The clock told him it was time for dinner, so he slipped out the door and headed to the dining room.

When he reached the lobby, he heard voices and knew dinner was under way. He stopped short by the vending machines when he heard Hanna’s voice. So much for dinner. He eyed the machines with distaste but dug around in his pockets for change.

He slid quarters into the machine, cringing at the clinking sound they made, and selected a granola bar and a bag of pretzels. The packages hit the vending machine bay in two distinct thuds. He eyed the two bags and knew it wouldn’t be enough. After fishing a dollar from his
wallet, he selected a bag of peanuts. He was trying to decide between sodas when he heard Hanna’s voice float through the door.

“I’m getting worried. She’s always home for dinner.”

“Did she say anything about running other errands?” Mrs. Eddlestein asked.

“No, just the post office. Can you stay for a while and watch the lodge while I go look for her?” The squeak of a chair suggested she was getting up from the table.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Hanna. My grandkids are in a camp program tonight, and I promised I’d come.”

Micah slid a quarter into the slot and froze when Hanna came through the door.

“Micah. There’s food in there if you’re hungry.” She gestured toward the dining room.

Worry still lingered in her gaze, and he put in the other coins to avert his attention. “Just wanted a snack.”

She surveyed the pile of snacks cradled in his arm and quirked a brow. He felt heat creep into his face and decided it was a good time for a change in subject.

“Is your grandma late?” He removed his Mountain Dew from behind the machine’s flap.

“She’s been gone for two hours, and I’m getting worried.”

With the way the woman forgot and became confused, it was no wonder Hanna was fretful. And she was always here for dinner. Micah felt the stirrings of concern in his own stomach. What if she’d gotten lost, didn’t know where she was? Didn’t people with Alzheimer’s lose their way?

“Could you watch the lodge for a while?” Her forehead wrinkled, her eyes pleaded.

“Hanna, I don’t know much about taking reservations or anything—how about I go look for her instead?”

Relief flooded her features. “Would you?” She touched his arm, and his skin tingled uncomfortably.

“Sure.” He pulled away. “Just let me drop this stuff in my room.” He escaped down the hall, dumped the food on his bed, then came back to the lobby. Hanna told him her grandmother had gone to the post office and gave him a couple of ideas of other places she could’ve gone.

Micah left, hopping aboard his cycle with uneasiness as his companion. She’s probably just lost, wandering around somewhere. As much as he liked to be a loner, it had been impossible to avoid getting attached to Mrs. Landin. People didn’t come any gentler or more tender-hearted than she. Hanna was lucky to have a grandma like that. He’d always wanted one himself.

After he checked the post office, which was now closed, he stopped by the grocery, hair salon, and church. The 4×4 was nowhere to be seen in any of the parking lots, so Micah drove through town looking left and right. Jackson wasn’t that big and didn’t take long to cover. Where could she be? After searching a few side streets, he called the lodge from his cell phone, hoping she’d found her way home by now.

He heard the disappointment in Hanna’s voice when he told her he’d seen no sign of her grandmother and would keep looking. Darkness was settling around town, making massive silhouettes of the buttes.

He flipped on his headlight and toured the main roads of Jackson once more. The vehicle seemed to have disappeared from the face of the earth. Turning north, he decided to check some streets off the main route. He drove down several streets a few blocks, then turned around and headed back to the main drag.

Hanna must be worried sick by now; he certainly was. Had the woman gotten lost? Been abducted? Had a heart attack?

The hospital. He turned the cycle around and headed toward Saint John Hospital. Maybe she’d had chest pains and driven herself there. Surely she’d have called home, though.

When he arrived, he drove down the rows of cars looking for the red 4×4. He huffed in frustration when the last row turned up nothing. Now what?

He called the lodge again to find a panicked Hanna wanting to call the police. He persuaded her to wait another hour and took off on his cycle once again. He drove away from town, not knowing what she’d be doing on the roads but knowing he was desperate.

As he rounded a bend, his headlights lit on a red vehicle pulled to the shoulder of the road. His breath caught. It was Hanna’s.
Thank You, God.

He pulled up behind her, leaving his headlight on, and walked to the drivers-side door. The car was running, and from a distance he could see Mrs. Landin slumped over the steering wheel. He rushed the remaining few feet.

The windows were up, so he pounded on the window. “Mrs. Landin!”

Her body flew upright, and fright covered her face as she cowered away from the door.

“It’s Micah! Open up.”

She fumbled with the buttons, and finally the window slid down. “Oh, Micah, I’m so glad to see you!” Relief etched itself in the lines of her face that was damp with tears. Her hair had come loose from her tidy bun and hung in strings around her face.

“Are you okay?” He leaned in through the window and opened the door.

“I am now. I was so frightened!” Tears coursed again down her cheeks from eyes that begged for comfort.

“What happened?” He awkwardly put an arm along the back of the seat.

She turned into him and clung to his T-shirt. “I couldn’t find my way! I got in the car after I left the post office and started driving, and I was suddenly lost. Nothing looked familiar, so I just kept driving, thinking I’d find my way, but I couldn’t. Oh, Micah, what’s wrong with me?” She cried on his shoulder. “I was so scared.”

“It’s going to be all right.” He patted her arm. Comforting was not his forte. Hanna should be here. She’d know just what to say. But
the elderly woman didn’t appear to need words of comfort, just his presence.

He let her cry for a few minutes, then fished in the console and pulled out a crumpled McDonald’s napkin. She wiped her eyes and blew her nose.

“Let’s get you back home. I’ll call Hanna and let her know you’re okay. She’s awful worried.”

“I knew she would be.”

“Are you okay to drive? I can just leave my cycle here if—”

“No. No, I’ll be fine, just let me follow you.” Her eyes teared up again, but she straightened her shoulders as if to convince them both she was capable.