Mending Fences (25 page)

After a moment, Curran chuckled softly. “You amaze me, Victoria.”

His words caught her off guard, left her brain a little fuzzy. She amazed him? “Why?”

“Everything you’ve been through, you’ve handled without anyone there to shore you up. You have to be the strongest person I’ve ever known.”

“I wouldn’t say that. I survived, that’s all.”

He shifted and nudged her chin up with his finger, urging her to look at him. “Don’t shrug off compliments, honey.”

In her experience, compliments were only given if they were the backhanded sort. With Curran, she was beginning to learn what real ones were like. “Okay. Thank you.”

He hugged her close. “You’re very welcome.”

Chapter Thirteen

Curran ran his fingers through Victoria’s silky hair as he held her, processing everything she’d just told him about giving up her child.

His heart ached for her, for the pain she lived with. At the same time, he admired the way she faced her problems head on and handled them. Small wonder, though, that sex wasn’t high on her to-do list. That she let him touch her at all was a bit of a minor miracle. “Tell me something.”

“Anything.”

“Were you pregnant at the time he hurt you?”

“Yes, about six months. I nearly lost the baby.” A shiver rippled across her shoulders, and he held her tighter, kissed the top of her head. Memories came back to him, of the call from Kelli, crying, begging him to come get her and Rob. The terror in Rob’s eyes as the memory of his parents’ fighting haunted him. Kelli pleaded with him to let Jonas go to jail rather than to his grave. He’d known then, if the man had laid a finger on his nephew, he’d have killed him.

As much fury as he felt for Nate Fielder at this moment, the man was lucky to already be dead.

“How did the adoption work without his permission?”

Victoria sat up and looked at him, her earlier guarded expression replaced by openness. “I didn’t need his permission. Nate was an attorney. He drew up the papers severing his parental rights as soon as he realized I was serious about bringing the baby into the world. He wanted to be sure if I kept it, I would have no claim on him for support.”

“Lousy son of a bitch.”

“Yeah, he was that. And, knowing his mother, I can tell you, the title fits.” A shadow flitted through her eyes, and she bit her lower lip. “Well, since I’ve bared every shred of ugliness in my soul—”

“Hey, quit that.” He placed his palm against her cheek, holding her gaze with his own. “What you did for your son was not ugly. Far from it.”

She looked away, nodded, went back to biting her lip. As he opened his mouth to ask what she was thinking, she said, “Why did you retire?”

Now there was a question he’d no desire to deal with. But after everything she’d told him, how could he say he didn’t want to talk about it? It would be a figurative slap in the face. “You may not like the answer.”

She broke into a gentle smile. “I didn’t figure you’d like my answers, either. But we can’t change what we’ve done to make things more attractive, can we?” She took his hand in hers. “You walked away from a life people envy. Why?”

The morning came back to him crystal-clear. The tabloids hit the shelves, splashed with photos of Amanda and her other lover. The office phones rang off the hook with media folk wanting his comments. He never gave them. Instead he walked into his office bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror. If he’d turned sideways, he was sure he would have disappeared entirely, he’d grown so two-dimensional. “I hated who I had become.”

He cursed and cleared his throat, then continued, knowing his words would obliterate the man she thought he was. “I spent years creating this image of myself to show to the world. As much as I liked to complain about women dating me just to get the media coverage, I did exactly the same thing. It wasn’t by chance I managed to date the hottest women in the market.”

Dredging all this up, speaking of it, made him edgy. He left the couch, paced away.

Behind him, Victoria said, “I thought you couldn’t stand the media. You were horribly cranky the day I interviewed you.”

She told me everything. She did it, so can I.
He shoved his hands in his pockets, forced out the words. “Of course. How better to capture the media’s attention that to let them know I couldn’t stand them?”

He turned to face her. “Jamie’s called me a shark for years, but I don’t think even he knows how deep that aspect of my personality goes. Everything was plotted. The women, the parties, the interviews.”

Victoria’s brow knitted. “Why?”

“I wanted to be famous. I wanted to be important, ever since I was a kid. I wanted to be respected and admired and sought after. I craved it, I needed it.” He shrugged. “So I created it.”

She stood, the naturally sultry way she moved momentarily distracting him. She walked to him, but she wrapped her arms around herself. There for him, yet giving him the space he needed to breathe. It nearly buckled his knees, the way she instinctively knew what he needed most from her.

“So, you had everything you wanted. What changed?”

“I was living with Amanda Dannen.”

“She cheated on you.”

He rubbed his forehead. “The news broke wide, everyone knew about it. It seriously pissed me off, until I suddenly realized the only reason it mattered to me was because it put a black mark on my image that I hadn’t anticipated first. I felt nothing. I was completely numb inside. That’s when I realized there was nothing of me left except the part I crafted for the world to admire.”

He took a step closer to her, needing the warmth of her. “I didn’t know who I was any more. I hated the thing I had become.”

“So you walked away.”

“Yes.”

“And have you found yourself again?”

“I like to think so. The old self rears its ugly head from time to time.”

She smiled. “Yeah, I’ve seen him. He stood on my porch and said some pretty rotten things one day.”

His throat constricted. “Yet you forgave him.”

Victoria shook her head, placed her hands on his shoulders. “No. He’s still a bastard. But I forgave you, and that’s all that matters.”

She stepped into his arms then, and he buried his face in her hair, holding her to him, wanting never to let go.

If he’d ever felt more vulnerable in his life, he couldn’t recall it. Her gentle acceptance humbled him, filled his heart till he thought it would overflow. Somehow, standing here, with Victoria in his arms, he couldn’t imagine another bad thing ever happening to either of them. From here on out, life would be perfect, in a way he’d never plotted or dreamed.

* * * *

Two weeks later, Curran stood in his sister’s great room, using a rented helium tank to fill multicolored balloons.

Robby danced from one end of the kitchen all the way through the great room and back again. “Is it time yet, Mom?”

Kelli put her hand on her hip and raised an eyebrow at her impatient son. “Look at the clock. What does it say?”

He stared at the digital clock on the microwave. “Six-oh-eight.”

“What time does the party start?”

“Seven-oh-oh.” He hung his head and trudged into the living room.

Curran tried not to laugh. Poor kid. Time tended to stand still at that age, when awaiting one’s own birthday party.

The doorbell rang. He heard Rob pound across the floor to the door, then, “Jamie!”

He looked at his sister. Her skin paled and the ice cream scoop dropped from her hand, clattering on the tile countertop. He’d spoken to Jamie once since his last trip, and in the interest of friendship, he’d studiously avoided discussion of Kelli. He doubted his sister had heard a single word from his friend in that time.

She walked into the front room. Curran tied off the balloon in his hands and followed, though whether as a cheerleader or a defender, he had no idea.

He looked over his sister’s shoulder at Jamie, crouched by the door next to Rob, a huge, shiny green package at his feet. Rob looked up at Kelli, grinned, then bobbed his head in response to Jamie. He threw his arms around Jamie’s neck, and the hug Jamie gave him in response bothered Curran.
Mate, he needs a father, not a fun friend who comes and goes as he pleases.

Jamie stood. “Now, why don’t you go hang out for a few minutes until your party starts, so I can talk to your mom?”

“Okay. Can I open my present now?”

“Sure. In the other room, though, if you don’t mind.” Jamie’s gaze met his, and he added, “Maybe you can take your Uncle Curran with you.”

Robby whooped and picked up the package, balancing it carefully in his little arms as he took off toward his bedroom.

Curran crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. “And maybe Uncle Curran can keep an eye on you and make sure you don’t leave my sister in tears again.”

He stared his friend down until Kelli laid a hand on his arm. “It’s okay. I can handle this. Don’t you have a few more balloons to do?”

He looked at his baby sister, so much stronger than she’d been a few years ago. Strong, determined, and plenty old enough to manage her own romantic business. He went back into the great room, back to work on Rob’s decorations. Yeah, so Kelli was a grownup. That didn’t mean he couldn’t keep an ear open for trouble.

Kelli spoke first. “I thought I made myself pretty clear last time about your comings and goings, Jamie.” Her voice sounded hard, firm. Good girl.

“You did,” Jamie said. “But I had already promised Robby I’d be here when he turned six. Besides, I really needed to talk to you.”

“So talk.”

Curran started blowing up another balloon, but halted when he realized he couldn’t hear over the sound of the helium tank.

“Kelli, I’ve been thinking, pretty much constantly since you told me to take a hike. I know I’ve kind of jerked you around, and I’m deeply sorry.”

Curran relaxed a bit. Okay, he apologized. Good.

“It’s fine, Jamie.”

“It’s not fine, dammit. Listen, it broke my heart when Alexa died, and I never, ever wanted to feel anything that intense again.”

They were silent for a moment. Curran silently cheered his best friend on.
Come on, Jamie, if you’re trying to make up, keep at it. You can do it.

Jamie spoke. “What scared me to death, sweetheart, was realizing that as much as I loved her, the feelings I have for you are an entirely different order of magnitude. As terrifying as it is to love you so much, the thought of losing you is a whole lot worse.”

“Jamie, are you sure?” Kelli said. “I can’t take any more back and forth with you.”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. Will you marry me?”

Curran grinned. Very nice. As long as he was on his knee at the time, damn near perfect.

“What about Robby?” Kelli said.

From down the hallway, his nephew shouted, “Rob says yes!”

That’s your cue, Kel. Don’t blow it.

“Yes. Oh, Jamie, yes!”

Curran silently applauded, listening to the laughter, the joy coming from the living room. Soon enough, it would be his turn. He hoped he did at least as decent a job as Jamie.

* * * *

Victoria hated being late for anything, but missing part of Rob’s birthday party made her feel awful. She glanced at the clock on the dashboard. Ten after seven, and she was still a few minutes from the canyon turnoff.

She picked up the cell phone and called Kelli’s house. Jamie answered, catching her off guard. Hadn’t Kelli said it was over between them? “Hey, Jamie, it’s Victoria.”

“Hi, Vic. Curran’s handling the piñata. Want me to get him for you?” He sounded chipper. Must’ve worked things out with Kelli. Definitely time for some girl talk.

“No, I just called to say I’m on my way. I had an apartment to see, but I’m almost at the exit, and, oh, shoot, Robby’s present is still on the kitchen counter. I’ll have to stop home, then I’ll be over. Fifteen minutes or so.”

“I’ll tell him. Drive safe.”

Dang, being late bothered her. It was worth it, though. If she’d waited until tomorrow, the adorable one-bedroom in elderly Mrs. Sanchez’s basement would have already been taken. She actually liked it, she’d be allowed to keep her rat, and the rent was exactly the meager amount she could afford. She’d gladly paid the deposit.

She didn’t like the idea of moving to Taylorsville, so far from Curran. But she couldn’t stop the Campbells from returning in three weeks to reclaim their home, and everything closer in her price range was so awful even Sassy wouldn’t be comfortable.

How was she going to tell Curran she’d rented a place? When the subject came up a few days ago, he had wanted to go apartment hunting with her. She couldn’t let him come. One look at the first dive on her list today and he’d have bought her a condo or something. She fingered the pearl strand at her throat. He gave great presents, but letting him help with housing would make her feel like a kept mistress. Only without the sex.